Working moms - Plans for maternity leave ?

ThisisNumber3

Anyone else looking forward to maternity leave?  Anything special planned or ways you want to fill your days? 

Our hospital offers a breastfeeding support group Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Its great to get out of the house and see the LC (if needed) and do a weighted feeding.  

Other than that my oldest will start K so I will be doing drop off at 8 am and pick up at 3 pm.  

When the weather cools down and baby is a bit older, I really want to get out and walk.  I wish I had a walking-buddy I could call but most of my other friends are also WOHM.  

jamiesc58

I really hope our hospital offers breastfeeding groups, I haven't even looked into that yet. My kids will also be starting school just after the baby is born so there is that. I will have our 1 year old at home with me so that should be lots of fun.  I really hope baby can nap at least once while dd is napping so mom can nap. I do look forward to getting them both out for walks! I also have no SAHM friends.

Curls919

I'm not working now but I'll say that the new mom/breastfeeding support group was my saving grace. Not just for the bf help but it got me out of the house once a week and around moms going through the same thing I was. I am trying to get DH to wfh the day of the meetings this time so I can go with this baby while he's home with DS

1faceinacrowd

My daughter started Kindergarten this year too! My step-son is starting 1st grade but it's still something new - he's switching to the school my daughter will go to.  Their first day of school is actually only a few days after my due date, so I'm kiiiind of crossing my fingers that this little guy doesn't come late (I'd hate to miss their first day!). 
I'm excited to take them to school and pick them up each day while I'm on leave. Their school is less than a mile from our house, so I'll even be able to walk them sometimes. I'm also volunteering to help with a couple of school events in September/October and I'm pretty excited about that.

ThisisNumber3

1faceinacrowd said:

My daughter started Kindergarten this year too! My step-son is starting 1st grade but it's still something new - he's switching to the school my daughter will go to.  Their first day of school is actually only a few days after my due date, so I'm kiiiind of crossing my fingers that this little guy doesn't come late (I'd hate to miss their first day!). 
I'm excited to take them to school and pick them up each day while I'm on leave. Their school is less than a mile from our house, so I'll even be able to walk them sometimes. I'm also volunteering to help with a couple of school events in September/October and I'm pretty excited about that.

I hadn't really thought about volunteering but I guess I should look into what I could do while baby wearing.  I'm more nervous about the transition to elementary school than I am about another baby!  And yes, I'm due the first week of school too! 

emmeline714

i will be working from home so i will have to adjust to a whole lot dealing with babies as i deal with work too i am pretty sure i will be just fine, just scared of everything

ThisisNumber3

@emmeline714 - How soon do you have to start working again? Hopefully you get a little bit of a break! 

texasmama2014

I plan to sleep when baby sleeps and not clean ever.  DD will probably go to my parents house a few days per week so I can bond and stuff.

We have to drive out to Virginia a few weeks after the birth for my sisters wedding.  So that will be a couple weeks.

Beyond that I hope to survive.  And pump for a freezer stash.

cait5413

Baby is due Aug 4, school semester starts Aug 23. So, my maternity leave is nonexistent. Luckily, I only teach 2 days a week and plan to work from home the other days at least in the beginning. But it is pretty terrifying, since I'm a FTM and it is a new job. 

ballofmeat

I'm only taking 9-10 weeks off because it is mostly unpaid and DH and I work for the same company. They have a policy that we have to split 12 weeks of FMLA, but that's a whole different ragey topic. 

I don't really have any "plans" for my leave except to survive it being a FTM. I guess I plan on taking it day by day. My BFF who lives in Oregon may come out for a week in September to spend some time with Baby and I. I am really looking forward to that. 

MamaKSquared

I am SO ready for maternity leave. I need to figure up how long I will be out and see what my boss is comfortable with. I work from home and we get 9 weeks total (6 weeks short term disability + 3 weeks parental leave), then we can take PTO for extra if it's approved by our supervisor. I plan to go back gradually if she will allow it. I haven't figured out exactly when. Maybe 10 weeks of full leave then go back for either half days or a few days a week and work my way back up to full time. I hope to keep baby at home with me at least until it's 6 months, so that will be a huge adjustment. Hopefully that will work out.

MamaKSquared

jamiesc58 said:

I really hope our hospital offers breastfeeding groups, I haven't even looked into that yet. My kids will also be starting school just after the baby is born so there is that. I will have our 1 year old at home with me so that should be lots of fun.  I really hope baby can nap at least once while dd is napping so mom can nap. I do look forward to getting them both out for walks! I also have no SAHM friends.

Have you looked into La Leche League? We have one in our area and they have several meetings per month. If your hospital doesn't offer something like this, maybe that is an option for you. I haven't been to any meetings yet (as most of them are during work days and I won't be able to make it until I'm out on leave), but I hear they're a great resource. My local chapter has a Facebook that you can also reach out through.

emmeline714

@ThisisNumber3 i will just be answering emails when i go back home from hospital so no biggy i thought it would just be a good idea to start it off like that to see if i can adjust to being at home and work from home when i need it with a baby. i will be gone for 2months from work and i can work from home if i want to after that too so will see how it goes 

pelorunningmama

I am taking about 12 weeks off. Saving all of my vacation for the year, accruing sick days, and short-term disability will get me through about 8 or 9 weeks of it. Then the rest will be "unpaid." But, because there is no way my company could go that much time without me working, I will be working quite a bit from home during that window. It will be interesting to see how all that goes with having to watch my daughter and a newborn. Luckily, DD will be in school 4 days a week for about 6 hours. So, hopefully that will give me some time to do a little work with baby strapped to me. 

I plan to fill my days with pumping (oh the joy!), walking early in the am and late in the evening with him, going to indoor play parks with DD and the baby, and sitting in the lounge area at Nordstroms and Central Market (eta... drinking wine).

Ceventa

I plan on taking the full 12 weeks of FMLA. Currently in the process of saving as much time as possible to squeeze out as much paid time as I can and saving as much as we can before LO to compensate for the unpaid time. I don't really have any plans yet for when I'm on maternity leave. DS will be home with me from daycare the whole time I'm off, so I'm even though it's going to be nuts to have a 2 year old and a newborn to watch over I'm looking forward to that time. My parents and in-laws live close by and have offered to take him a couple days a week to allow me alone time with LO. Beyond that, I guess just sleep when I can, heal, and make some breast milk! lol

ThisisNumber3

I cannot imagine going back to work right away (especially something physical like teaching) or even being awake enough to answer emails right after birth!  More power to you!  

AliKay20

So far, plan is to take full 12 weeks (most of that partially paid). I still care about my job and the work I put in but I'm not stressing over every little thing at work as much as I used to. Maybe it's the start of shifting in priorities but I'm kind of realizing how much work consumed my life before. Looking forward to sleeping when the baby sleeps (now this advice, I took to heart as everyone talks about the lack of sleep and exhaustion). DH has 8 weeks of paternity leave but I'm not sure if we should overlap some or do a tag team thing and once I go to work, he starts his leave. Hmmmm 

WinnieLou82

I plan to take the full 12 weeks but then reevaluate at 8 weeks and see how I'm feeling/things are going and maybe go back in the mornings for a week or two before full time.

For activities, the goal is to keep both me and the baby alive.  As a FTM, I can't fathom making any other plans! 

jaceru

I am starting a new job and only will get 6 weeks since I won't yet qualify for FMLA. Thankfully, my husband's job allows for a full 12 week paternity leave ( even thought hes only thinking of taking 8) so that we don't have to put the baby in daycare so early. I am nervous about going back to work after 6 weeks,  especially since it will be at the hospital with call, but it will all work out in the end I hope. During maternity leave I plan to just relax as much as possible and bond with the baby. 

1faceinacrowd

@ThisisNumber3  I joined the "PTA" (it's called something else but that's basically what it is) for my kiddos' school and signed up for a couple of little things that I could help out with; most of the work is just making phone calls and ordering stuff for events, so it should be easy to do with the baby at home. I definitely recommend calling the school to see what volunteer opportunities they have available! I'm pretty excited. 

@Jcr727 I only got 6 weeks the first time around so I feel you! It's really cool that your hubby can stay home with the baby for a while too.   My daughter just went right into daycare at 6 weeks.

And all of you talking about planning to pump a bunch - YES! Same here! lol

Fremdschamen

Just enjoying my little one.  When I was on maternity leave with DD, I put all of this pressure on myself to accomplish a bunch of tasks and my inability to "do it all" contributed to PPD/PPA. (I'm a pretty Type A person normally).  This time, I am going to force myself to slow down and enjoy baby's quiet moments.  I want to get to know her and observe how she experiences the world. DD will be home with us 2 days a week, and my goal on those days is 1. Survival and 2. Stay as calm as possible. 

We'll go for walks if it is nice outside, and I will have some friends on maternity leave at the same time, but I'm really aiming to avoid setting unreasonable goals.

SkiChic626

midwestbaby said:

I'm only taking 9-10 weeks off because it is mostly unpaid and DH and I work for the same company. They have a policy that we have to split 12 weeks of FMLA, but that's a whole different ragey topic. 
 

WHAT?!?!?  Is that even legal?????????

ramoseecology

@SkiChic626  It doesn't feel right but it's completely legal: https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs28l.pdf

SkiChic626

I'm taking everything that I'm entitled to, just like I did with DD, some of it will be unpaid but I figure it's only a few months and I have my whole life to work, so I might as well take advantage!  So it'll be about 20 weeks, or 21 weeks if she's born 8/6-8/8 because that'll add Xmas week since my company is closed anyway through New Years!  I don't really have any plans other than to keep DD on her regular schedule as much as possible and just chill with #2.  I'll also work a bit more on my freezer stash this time, hopefully he'll let me pump, which DD didn't.  I swear it was like she had pump radar!

I went to those breastfeeding groups at the hospital a couple times when I was on leave with DD, and honestly they're just not for me.  Too much crunchy talk and romanticized notions of how BFing really goes being thrown around by SAHMs for my taste, but I know a lot of people swear by them.

charmedlifex3

I'm hoping to take the full 12 weeks, I have 9 weeks paid.

I know the first 6 weeks will likely just be survival mode, but I want to make sure I make a point to get out - even if I don't feel like it. Emotionally, and physically, I think that will make a big difference for me.

I already talked to my doula about setting up a lactation consultant (apparently my health insurance covers it!) for home visits as needed for the first 12 weeks. She is referring us, and we'll have our first meeting prior to birth, then she will come by our house about 4 or 5 days post partum, (roughly two days after we get home) and on an as needed basis after that. Getting breast feeding established / a stash built up (if we CAN do it) is one of the big things I want to get accomplished.

There is a mommy boot camp I am planning on doing. Near us there is actually a  class with a special focus on post partum moms. The class runs 6 weeks, and it meant to be started at 6 weeks post partum (8 weeks for c section moms) with clearance from your doctor. I think it'll give me a chance to get moving again, connect with other post partum moms, and give me a little "me" time during those first few weeks which are all about the baby. It's through the same group that does a lot of the "stroller fit" classes. We'll see how I feel at 6 weeks PP, but it's nice to know that is there if I am feeling isolated.

I'm also looking forward to doing farmers markets, crafts fairs, and that sort of thing. Our town does a bunch of that sort of thing, and they are pretty low key community events. (some are even within sight of my house!)

LadyBear10

Baby is due Aug. 12 and the school starts Aug 29... so I will probably be up at the school a lot making sure lesson plans are done and such. I get unpaid leave and I plan on taking the first 9 weeks off. Saving up for the unpaid leave has not been fun, but it will be worth it. 

ballofmeat

SkiChic626 said:

midwestbaby said:

I'm only taking 9-10 weeks off because it is mostly unpaid and DH and I work for the same company. They have a policy that we have to split 12 weeks of FMLA, but that's a whole different ragey topic. 
 

WHAT?!?!?  Is that even legal?????????

Yes it is completely legal. It really sucks. I wish I would have known about this policy before we got pregnant. The thing is we don't even work at the same hospital. And it irritates me even further that we work for healthcare and they have the crappiest options for medical leaves. 

I have friends who are like, "oh your insurance must be great working for a hospital!" Nope. We don't even have paid sick leave. It all comes out of our PTO (paid time off/vacation) that we have to accrue by how many hours we work.

What sucks is my DH has a ton more hours than I do and you can gift PTO hours to another employee for medical leaves. Buuuut since maternity leave is a planned medical leave and not an emergent one, we don't qualify for that either. So in summary we only get 12 weeks between the two of us per 12 month period, I have to take most of it unpaid even though my DH has tons of hours sitting there that we can't use. 

Needless to say I cried my little heart out after I talked to HR about it a few months back. What a complete joke. 

AliKay20

midwestbaby said:

SkiChic626 said:

midwestbaby said:

I'm only taking 9-10 weeks off because it is mostly unpaid and DH and I work for the same company. They have a policy that we have to split 12 weeks of FMLA, but that's a whole different ragey topic. 
 

WHAT?!?!?  Is that even legal?????????

Yes it is completely legal. It really sucks. I wish I would have known about this policy before we got pregnant. The thing is we don't even work at the same hospital. And it irritates me even further that we work for healthcare and they have the crappiest options for medical leaves. 

I have friends who are like, "oh your insurance must be great working for a hospital!" Nope. We don't even have paid sick leave. It all comes out of our PTO (paid time off/vacation) that we have to accrue by how many hours we work.

What sucks is my DH has a ton more hours than I do and you can gift PTO hours to another employee for medical leaves. Buuuut since maternity leave is a planned medical leave and not an emergent one, we don't qualify for that either. So in summary we only get 12 weeks between the two of us per 12 month period, I have to take most of it unpaid even though my DH has tons of hours sitting there that we can't use. 

Needless to say I cried my little heart out after I talked to HR about it a few months back. What a complete joke. 

@midwestbaby I worked at a hospital until about six mths ago. Their mat leave was - you combine your PTO and take short term disability so you get 60 something percent of your paycheck for the remainder of your leave.

Ehhhhhh...so much for enjoying the perks of working at a health system, right?!

ballofmeat

@AliKay20 Yeah, you would think working for healthcare they would have some better options for medical leaves. SMH. I think if we are blessed with another baby, one of us will find a job elsewhere. 

happyhorse

ramoseecology said:

@SkiChic626  It doesn't feel right but it's completely legal: https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs28l.pdf

We are in that boat as well but our state passed a measure outlawing splitting like that. However, our employer strongly discourages taking more than 1 week at a time for any reason. We work in IT so it's not like our work is life or death stuff here. I think their attitude stinks. I took 12 weeks unpaid which was the best I could get for our first and got a lot of attitude and felt "mommy tracked" when I returned. I asked to pump and they panicked too.  Husband took 2 weeks and got a raise on returning. We have parallel jobs and he earns about 25-30% more than I do even though I'm rated highly in reviews. It pays to be a man! We will probably take less with this second birth because we need the pay. 

Jenniferk08

I have a 5 year old so my plans before baby arrives is just to enjoy our one on one time. I work ft so our time together is basically limited to while in the car. It'll be nice to just go to a park. 

tmk0325

I just plan on surviving. FTM with twins. I hope I can at least get some sleep! I don't have any paid leave since I just started a new position, so I'm shooting for 8 weeks. I only work 20 hours a week, so they will only need to be in daycare part time. 

Edsilva14

I'm planning to take at least 8-9 weeks of maternity leave, all from my annual leave and sick leave.  I just desire a healthy baby and to be able to pump and feed my baby. I might look into breastfeeding support groups and reach out to friends I know in a mom group. I can't wait to have this baby'!! Though many are saying enjoy time now with your husband and get rest...

JournoGrl23

I just found out this week my company only offers short term disability for as long as my doctor will allow. My doctor only authorized me 6 weeks of leave if I deliver vaginally and 8 if I deliver c-section. Since I qualify for FMLA I can take 12 but anything beyond what my doctor allows will be unpaid. The first 6 or 8 weeks will be half short term and half PTO. After that it's nothing. I was really hoping I could get more weeks out of that. No one in my family has ever been able to give birth vaginally and they all had c-sections. At least the past two generations. So I'm actually hoping that goes for me too so I can get more time. During the leave I just plan on adjusting to life with a baby and hopefully enjoying it.

SkiChic626

JournoGrl23 said:

I just found out this week my company only offers short term disability for as long as my doctor will allow. My doctor only authorized me 6 weeks of leave if I deliver vaginally and 8 if I deliver c-section. Since I qualify for FMLA I can take 12 but anything beyond what my doctor allows will be unpaid. The first 6 or 8 weeks will be half short term and half PTO. After that it's nothing. I was really hoping I could get more weeks out of that. No one in my family has ever been able to give birth vaginally and they all had c-sections. At least the past two generations. So I'm actually hoping that goes for me too so I can get more time. During the leave I just plan on adjusting to life with a baby and hopefully enjoying it.

6 weeks for vaginal and 8 for c-section is pretty standard just so you know

SkiChic626

happyhorse said:

ramoseecology said:

@SkiChic626  It doesn't feel right but it's completely legal: https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs28l.pdf

We are in that boat as well but our state passed a measure outlawing splitting like that. However, our employer strongly discourages taking more than 1 week at a time for any reason. We work in IT so it's not like our work is life or death stuff here. I think their attitude stinks. I took 12 weeks unpaid which was the best I could get for our first and got a lot of attitude and felt "mommy tracked" when I returned. I asked to pump and they panicked too.  Husband took 2 weeks and got a raise on returning. We have parallel jobs and he earns about 25-30% more than I do even though I'm rated highly in reviews. It pays to be a man! We will probably take less with this second birth because we need the pay. 

 That sounds awful!  I'd be looking to get the heck outta there if it was me.  I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of sexism, which is illegal, btw....we are a protected class after all.

JournoGrl23

@SkiChic626 I didn't know that! That's actually pretty sad that that's considered normal. I know it's not always feasible for companies, but I wish 12 weeks was the normal. But I'll definitely try to enjoy and make the most of any time I get.

kristynmac

I have made zero plans. When I had my first, I had to go back to school and I brought him with me, but we didn't really have down-time and I am looking forward to just enjoying the baby and trying to relax.

ETA: STM+ I am allowed 12 weeks of maternity leave, but only 8 weeks of that would be paid. When I had my son I had to go back to school about a week after he was born and I just brought him with me. In the past, I have had to work two jobs to keep ahead, and while my situation is different this time around-the single mom in me is saying, "you only need 8 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid maternity leave is selfish."

My question is: What worked for all of you, and did/does anyone feel guilty about not working?

tinkerbell11210

I am taking the full twelve weeks FMLA this time. I have to use PTO for the first 5 days and then I get short term disability for the next 5 weeks for a total of 6 weeks unless I have a csection this time then it is 8 weeks. I can use use my PTO after STD but that will only take me so far. I know I will have 6 weeks unpaid but we are ok with that this time around. I only took off 8 with DD last time and I wished I would have taken more. 

SkiChic626

@JournoGrl23 Yeah, from a disability perspective that's pretty normal.  You'll still get your 12 weeks of FMLA, but that runs concurrent to disability - they're not one in the same.  I was confused about that last time and no one in HR or at the insurance companies seem to be able to explain it all that well.

kristynmac Nope, no guilt here whatsoever and I took my full 20 weeks with DD (hopefully it'll be 21 this time )!  I figure I'm only going to have so many kids and so many chances to be home with them.  In the grand scheme of things a few unpaid weeks of work is insignificant.  I'm still young and have my entire life to work, I might as well enjoy the little time with my newborn that I'm entitled to.  Yes, it's hard those last couple weeks of no pay since I'm the primary breadwinner in our family, but we got through it. 

Curls919

I took 14 weeks with DS (I was planning on 10-12 then he came 3 1/2 weeks early and i just didn't want to go back before thanksgiving). I didn't feel bad. I needed the time to recover and find my new normal. And he wasn't on a real schedule until 3 months so it was good to take my full time.