When will you tell immediate family? — The Bump
January 2017 Moms

When will you tell immediate family?

DH and I are very close to our parents and siblings and have no issues trusting them with the secret.

But we have had a loss before and chemical pregnancies. 

I'm DYING to tell them and thinking about doing it tomorrow (4w4d) since we will be with them in person but I don't want to be too hasty.

When are you guys sharing with your closest loved ones??
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Re: When will you tell immediate family?

  • LJ623LJ623
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    DH and I were discussing this earlier today...since I've been in the care of a RE and will get early bloodwork and an early u/s, we will probably wait until then to tell our parents.  On the other hand, Mother's Day is in a little over a week, so it'd be nice to tell our mothers that day...

    We had a loss last year, and part of me does hesitate to say anything too early, I also work with my mom and we're entering a high-stress part of the year during mid-late May, so I do want her to know before then, so she can help ensure I don't overdo things....
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
    BFP: 1/31/15; MMC: 3/31/15
    BFP: 4/26/16; EDD: 1/8/2016
  • I told my little brother (he's 22 so not really little lol) but he and I are super close and he is sworn to secrecy. With my first two kids we told family earlier in some cases (if visiting parents out of state we shared it in person). We don't have any visits planned any time soon so we will likely wait until end of first tri and the NT scan to share with everyone. 
    BFP 07/14/2012, EDD 03/22/2013, DD born 03/21/2013
    BFP 05/20/2014, EDD 01/29/2015, DS born 01/14/2015
    BFP 04/25/2016, EDD 01/01/2017

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  • @Sunflower9939 That's awesome that you and your brother are that close :) 

    We're waiting until Mother's Day. Just went to get my beta blood test today and will get the results from that on Friday morning, so I wanted to at least have it confirmed by a doctor first.

    I had a loss last year also at ~10 weeks and hadn't yet told my mom and it was awful having to share that news with her, so I want to let family know sooner this time because it's nice having the emotional support regardless of what happens. 

    I ordered a couple of these really neat books for both my mom and OH's mom. They have questions in them that they answer about their lives, their childhoods, their families, etc... and then when LO is old enough, they're able to give the books back to him/her.
    Me: 34 / OH: 37
    BFP #1: 5/21/15 - Twins / MMC - 7/23/15 / D&C - 7/26/15
    BFP #2: 4/26/16 - Due date: 1/1/17
    DS (Henry!): 1/7/17 <3
    Sunflower9939AliciaGooseMrsRahl
  • @canavara ;
     That is an awesome book. I wanted to do that with my grandma but forgot about it. I will have to send her one for Mother's Day! 

    My my brother lives on the other side of the country :( but I'm glad we are still close relationship-wise. We've been through a lot of crap thanks to my parents so I think that's what bonded us despite being almost 6 years apart.
    BFP 07/14/2012, EDD 03/22/2013, DD born 03/21/2013
    BFP 05/20/2014, EDD 01/29/2015, DS born 01/14/2015
    BFP 04/25/2016, EDD 01/01/2017

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  • Probably not telling anyone until after my first appointment (may 19th) and confirmation that the bean is also doing ok. Previous loss make me a little gunshy until I'm further along. Plus, I don't think anyone approves of us having a third bc 'we have a boy and a girl, why would you have another' so I'm a little hesitant to share news that's going to be greeted poorly. 

    June Siggy Challenge: Robert Downey Jr

    37 yr old mama with 4yr old DD and 2 yr old DS

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    canavaraLastMango
  • We're waiting until 12 weeks. I had a miscarriage the last week of Feb/first week of March. So we do not want to tell people too soon solely because we got pregnant again so quickly.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
    Our Rainbow Baby H arrived at 37 weeks on 12/20/16!
    Baby E arrived at 37 weeks on 01/31/15!
    Married my Marine 05.23.14

    *TW*
    TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
    BFP 9.7.15 CP 
    BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
    BFP 10.14.17 CP
    BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
    canavara
  • We already did. My mom started trying to force feed me margaritas  (I am sure a test to see if I am ever expecting). Then we told the people they would tell so we could be sure to tell them to keep it off social media. Lol. 
    canavaraccarrozza1
  • I am hoping to tell my mom this weekend.  My husband is hesitant to tell anyone since he thinks it's way to early.  The compromise is telling my mom because she has been a L&D nurse for over 20 years and also just because I need support from my mama.

    My husband is leaning towards telling everyone at 12 weeks.  If I can keep quiet that long, we'll probably tell both families on Father's Day.
    canavaraKnlj
  • JessLeonard23JessLeonard23
    10 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic Name Dropper
    member
    edited April 2016
    I was so excited that I told my mom and MIL right away, even though I'm only 4 weeks! I also wound up telling one of my sisters as I was immediately confronted with a lunch meat situation at a family lunch, and needed to ask her about it (she has 2 sons). I have a blog about TTC and raising babies on a budget, so I wanted to blog about our BFP right away, but my husband has asked me to wait until June 1. This was our first cycle of TTC, so I'm still very worried that it's too good to be true!! I agree with @canavara in that I think having the emotional support no matter what happens will be very helpful.
    Me: 28 DH: 29
    Met 11/1/2013
    Engaged 10/14/2014
    Married 10/14/2015
    BFP 04/24/2016, EDD 1/4/2017
  • We will be telling immediate family (mom, dad, siblings) on mothers day. I will be 5 weeks that day. 
    ** Highschool Sweethearts ** 
    Married: February 14, 2009

    MC: June 6 2010 @ 18 weeks
    DS: December 19, 2011
    MC: October 2, 2015 @ 14 weeks


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    sarahmsoda
  • We're waiting for Mother's Day weekend.  I'm not good at keeping my own secrets though so some friends know but not family.
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  • I'm telling my best friend this weekend, hopefully. Will tell my mom on Mother's Day (Dad too). I think we'll wait until 12 or 13 weeks to announce at work and online. That seems an eternity away!
    lafemmej42
  • Gosh we are getting together with them tomorrow to celebrate my birthday (which happens to fall on actual Mother's Day this year!) and I feel like it will be hard to hide as my MIL always has the rose flowing! I'd love to tell early but am afraid of miscarry and having to break that news if it happens.
    Me: 31, DH: 30 // Met: 10.21.2007 // Married: 9.18.2015
    BFP: 4.29.2016 // Baby #1 EDD: 1.2.2017 (IT'S A BOY!)
  • My husband and I are traveling to Florida to visit my parents right around Mother's Day....so it'll be a bit early (I'll be 6 weeks) but it'll just be awesome to tell them in person! Soooo excited!!!! o:)
  • Anyone planning any special surprise for those they're telling?? I've been racking my brain trying to figure out something unique! <3
  • I think I mentioned above the book I am giving my mom, but I wanted to make it a bit more fun in telling her (although she knows we were TTC) so I have 3 different gifts for her for mother's day inside of a gift bag labeled "the past", "the present," and "the future." I put the "present" on top because I had already bought her a toiletries gift set before we found out we were expecting... so it doesn't immediately give away the surprise. Then the "past" is the "memories for my grandchild" book. And then the "future" is a t-shirt that says "promoted to grandma 2017" with another book in that that has advice to new grandparents :)

    With OH's parents, I was thinking it would be funny to have them over for dinner and have the menu be nothing but "baby" foods (baby carrots, baby back ribs, babybel cheese wheel, etc) and see if they figure it out on their own. I totally stole that idea from an episode of Full House but I still think it's awesome.
    Me: 34 / OH: 37
    BFP #1: 5/21/15 - Twins / MMC - 7/23/15 / D&C - 7/26/15
    BFP #2: 4/26/16 - Due date: 1/1/17
    DS (Henry!): 1/7/17 <3
    KnljTrmama2016LastMangoAliciaGoose
  • aishmcaishmc
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    @Knlj I had a friend at work already ask in a roundabout way and I just avoided.  I really don't want anyone at work, even the people that I am close to, to know just yet.  

    My husband and I told my mom on Friday and she was excited for 5 minutes before jumping into full on OB nurse mode.  My husband had to sit there and smile while we spoke nurse to each other.  She also gave him a list of things to remind me to do since I can be a noncompliant patient.  

    We've decided that we're telling the rest of the family for sure on Father's Day so that we can tell lots of family at the same time.  We are thinking of getting a Warriors onesie and a Giants onesie for my dad and his dad.  Just before they open them, we want to tell them that it's a two-part gift and the second part of the gift is on back order until January.  Then hopefully they'll get it when they open the onesie.  
    mommafrommaineamberarmsteadTrmama2016
  • @canavara love the past, present and future idea! My husband also mentioned something about a baby food menu haha! He must have been catching up on some old full house episodes! Hehe!  ;)
  • KnljKnlj
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
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    @aishmc That's an adorable idea with the onsies! I think I will do the same thing and try to avoid questions at work. If they ask, I'll just say we're still working on it. I just think it will make it more special if parents and siblings are the first to find out. 
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  • We bought a big sister racer tank for our 3 year old and she'll wear it in the picture with her red boxing gloves.  It'll say "Who's ready for round 2?"  We were already giving our moms a pallet sign that says "Great moms get promoted to grandma".  We're going to a surprise bday/mother's day party for my grandma on Saturday so our little girl will wear the tank top and we'll see if anyone notices.
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    ju0725LastMangoMrsRahl
  • SA0012SA0012
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    We ended up telling my parents like the day after I posted this :) I have no patience! My son plays a little game where he runs down the hallway at their house and then I chase him back out to everyone and they all act like he scared them. We started with him just in a diaper and before he turned the corner to run back at them I put a "Big Brother" t-shirt on him. Not too original but it was still super cute. My sister was on a video call at the time so show knows. We told my in laws the next day and only have BIL and SIL left. 

    I'm in no rush to tell them because I'm being resentful (SO not like me, maybe I can blame the hormones?) SIL must have caught on to something while the whole family was eating a big dinner together (before we told ANYONE) and put me on the spot asking if I was preg in front of everyone. But she wasn't even excited about it, she acted super annoyed like it was a hassle instead of a good thing, and like if I was then I was being the rude one for not answering her. I was so mad. 

    Part of me give no craps when they find out b/c she's obviously not excited and isn't that the point - to share the JOY?? And the other part of me feels like it isn't fair and they should know if the rest of the family does.
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  • @aishmc said:
    Just before they open them, we want to tell them that it's a two-part gift and the second part of the gift is on back order until January.  Then hopefully they'll get it when they open the onesie.  
    That is such an awesome way to share it! 
    Me: 34 / OH: 37
    BFP #1: 5/21/15 - Twins / MMC - 7/23/15 / D&C - 7/26/15
    BFP #2: 4/26/16 - Due date: 1/1/17
    DS (Henry!): 1/7/17 <3
  • We told much earlier this time (#3) which makes me a little nervous.  Told both sets of parents last weekend because timing worked out with seeing them in person - doesn't happen often.  I was only 4 weeks so crossing our fingers hard that this baby sticks!
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  • We are also going to spill the beans to my in-laws and my mom on Mother's Day (5w2d). My parents are divorced and my dad's out of the country until mid-June, so we'll let him know on Father's Day!

    My MIL is retiring soon so we're getting her a card that says something along the lines of "We think we found a new job for you...", then a onesie that says "I'm Grandma's Cup of Tea".

    We got another onesie for my mom that says "My Grandma is a Hoot" with an owl on it. Still trying to think of the perfect thing to write in the card, but it's got to be something about her lovable, corny humor :blush:

    We'll wait until father's day after my dad knows to tell work/friends. My close girlfriends and I do a wine night each month, so I think I'll have to tell them in a couple of weeks! Hopefully they can contain their excitement and keep the secret!


    Me & DH: 27
    Met: 12.9.2007
    Married: 9.26.2014
    BFP: 5.1.2016
    Baby Boy Due: 1.13.2017

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  • We're telling all family this weekend! Some of our closest friends know already.

    I'm so close to my mom and it has been SO hard not telling her this past week because I talk to her like twice a day. We bought a card that says "Only the best moms" on the front and "Get promoted to Grandmas. Happy Mother's Day!" We're giving it to her Friday and going to try and video tape it. After all of our family knows, then we'll tell the rest of our friends and then work.
    Me: 27, DH: 32
    Together: 1/24/11
    Married: 10/11/14
    BFP: 4/26/2016
    EDD: 1/4/2017



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  • We told my DH's brother and his wife, who we are really close with. They are the only ones we have told so far! I think we are going to spill the beans to the rest for Father's Day (11 wks, 6 days). I still feel pretty normal so I can't wait to get to a doctor and actually confirm!
    Me: 31, DH: 30 // Met: 10.21.2007 // Married: 9.18.2015
    BFP: 4.29.2016 // Baby #1 EDD: 1.2.2017 (IT'S A BOY!)
  • Carly79Carly79
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    We haven't even talked about it (is that bad??). We had a loss in October, prior to telling anyone and never felt the need to share the news of the loss. I will have an u/s the end of May around the 8 week mark and once we see that we will probably figure out a time to tell our immediate family (probably Father's day). Then, we will share with everyone else around the 12 week mark. With our first, we told family around 7 weeks and everyone else about week 13.

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  • new_ivfnew_ivf
    10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its Photogenic
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    I've only told my mom/dad after the Beta.
    We will tell hubby's parents in 3 weeks from now (after ultrasound).
    Probably won't share with Facebook/everyone else until after 12 week mark (our first baby, so I'm petrified that something will happen...)
  • We plan to tell all of ours tomorrow because they will all be in the same place so it just works out. It is definitely early but we would want their support if anything happens anyways... Then I think we will keep it quiet from everyone else for at least another month or two. 

    We made them each a mug (some say Uncle, or Uncle again... some say Nana or Grandpa and my sister's says "The best sisters get promoted to aunt") Our baby will be the first in my family, but the third in my DH's so they are all a little different. 

  • MrsRahlMrsRahl
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    We haven't told anyone but 3 close friends. I'm waiting until 7 weeks ish until we tell our family. I don't know why but I feel like 7 weeks is a good time to tell close family and then 12 weeks for everyone else. We told family at 5 weeks last time and I just want to keep the secret to ourselves a little longer before we start receiving a ton of opinions and advice on everything lol.
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    Salilast326
  • Last time around we told our immediate families at 13 weeks and got like no reaction then 3 days later my SIL announced her pregnancy and everyone was over the moon for them so we talked about not telling until we knew the gender but we see his family allllll the time, so there's no way I can hide it from them until then. I'm leaning towards not saying anything unless asked until after we go public on social media. 
    All that being said, we're so excited that I'm sure one of us will spill the beans long before then!
  • I don't think we are going to tell until father's day. We had a recent loss, and fathers day makes me 11 weeks, which I feel is pretty safe.
  • MrsRahlMrsRahl
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    Last time around we told our immediate families at 13 weeks and got like no reaction then 3 days later my SIL announced her pregnancy and everyone was over the moon for them so we talked about not telling until we knew the gender but we see his family allllll the time, so there's no way I can hide it from them until then. I'm leaning towards not saying anything unless asked until after we go public on social media. 
    All that being said, we're so excited that I'm sure one of us will spill the beans long before then!
    Wow, that's super hurtful! Why do you think it went down like that? 
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    GhanimaAtreides
  • My husband and I told our siblings right away as we are close with them. We told our parents on Mother's Day. I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow. I decided that I at least wanted close friends/family/work to know so that (God forbid!) if something did happen, I would want support from people I see/talk to everyday. 
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  • MrsRahl said:
    Last time around we told our immediate families at 13 weeks and got like no reaction then 3 days later my SIL announced her pregnancy and everyone was over the moon for them so we talked about not telling until we knew the gender but we see his family allllll the time, so there's no way I can hide it from them until then. I'm leaning towards not saying anything unless asked until after we go public on social media. 
    All that being said, we're so excited that I'm sure one of us will spill the beans long before then!
    Wow, that's super hurtful! Why do you think it went down like that? 
    @MrsRahl I wish I knew, but over a year later and I have no idea. Super annoying. 
  • I'm so afraid to tell anyone! Im ony 5wk 1d. You hear of all this stuff like anembryonic, chemical, ectopic etc. I want to confirm that isn't us before i tell anyone. DH wanted to wait until 12weeks. I don't think that will happen bit i do agree with wanting to wait until we know everything is ok. My first apt is May 25. Anyone else share these fears? Ibhave no reason to think it Everything is normal so far
    sarahmsoda
  • I'm not telling a soul until we're out of the first tri and have the cell free dna results back.  And even then, I'm probably going to hold off as long as possible.
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