When will you tell immediate family? - Page 2 — The Bump
January 2017 Moms

When will you tell immediate family?


Re: When will you tell immediate family?

  • lochness I'm right there with you! We have told my DH's bro and his wife who we are very close with and I told my very best friend and that's it! I want to be certain of everything before telling even family!
    Me: 31, DH: 30 // Met: 10.21.2007 // Married: 9.18.2015
    BFP: 4.29.2016 // Baby #1 EDD: 1.2.2017 (IT'S A BOY!)
  • I'm torn about sharing the news with my family. I know everyone will be excited for us, but I worry about the stress it could put on my Mother. She had a strange neurological event about a month ago and is still going through all sorts of follow up. Shes getting another MRI on Friday and will be spending the night with us actually. 

    With my last pregnancy we didn't say anything until the morning after our wedding, which put me at about 8 weeks. My poor moms face turned white as a ghost and her mouth just dropped open. My Dad was really sweet..but then he spilled the beans to my brother before I could lol. 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • No. We're not throwing any parades. I told my older sister, and I asked her to just keep it to herself. Idk when I will tell them. 

    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • We are going to wait until my next appt in 3 weeks. I will be 10 weeks and my ob said we would use the Doppler that day. He said its up in the air if we will find the heart beat, and if he can't find it, we will do a quick ultrasound. We would tell everyone right now, but there is one SIL of mine that I wouldn't want to know, if I had a m/c. So we will wait. 

    Emma & Amelia <3
  • Much like you, @LittleMissTimeLord, we already told our parents and closest friends because they are our support system and if something goes wrong, we will definitely need to lean on them. Regardless of what's in store in the future, this baby was loved from the very beginning and we wanted to share that love with our families.

    And I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, @hayhay87, that is really sweet that you wanted her to know that she's a grandma ASAP. It's about time your family got some great news! My mother is also in declining health, and I wanted her to know very early as well.
    Me & DH: Late 20's
    Together: 10 years, Married: 3 years
    TTC #1: January 2016
    BFP!!! 5/6/2016
    EDD: 1/10/2017
    It's a girl! <3

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I don't know, honestly. I won't see my family until the end of June so probably then. Some of my friends will know sooner I'm sure but it'll just come out as the situation presents itself. I'm going on a girls weekend this weekend so I'll probably tell those friends then because I won't be drinking. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    MC #1 January 2013
    DS born 4/06/14
    MC #2 August 2015
    CP November 2015
    MC#3 January 2016
    BFP 5/11/16  EDD 1/19/17
  • @hayhay87 I'm so very sorry about your mom, how wonderful that she knows she's a grandma though.  I sincerely hope the universe is on your side.

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • hayhay87-2hayhay87-2
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2016
    @ashanne88 thanks Seeing how happy she was definitely made it worth it. And it gives her something else to think about besides the stupid cancer!
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  • Our immediate family knows and had known since the day I tested positive at 3+4. I've had 2 miscarriages in the past 5 months, so DH and I can use all the support and prayers that family can provide. 
  • cjs260cjs260
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Similar to many others posting here, H and I decided to tell my parents, his parents, and each of our best friends. Since we suffered a loss in November, we want to have our support system in place. 

                                                Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker                                        
  • We are super undecided on this! I will be telling my mom today, but for the rest of the family, we will be waiting as long as possible! 
    DS1 - 03/31/2006
    DS2 - 12/31/2008
    DS3 - 06/26/2012
    DS4 - 08/07/2014
  • Anyone else NOT close to immediate family? I've been estranged from my toxic mother since 1/2015, I rarely text/send cards to my sister and dad, while my niece & nephew always get gifts from our family on the holidays. My immediate family is 2,000mi away. I am more communicative with extended family on my side.  My ILs aren't much better; they all live within 10mi of us but since the matriarch/MIL passed, we only see ILs 1-2x a year. It's horrid, but I understand MIL's death complicated things considerably, especially since we bought the house she lived in for decades off FIL and I had the nerve to not keep it like a shrine to MIL's tastes in decor. The only one who is pseudo-close is SIL and that's only because she needs us right now to have a place to live. Otherwise I hear from her as much as the others, but H & she text frequently and have an ok relationship.

    Last THB the ILs didn't find out until 2nd tri when I was wearing maternity clothes to DS2's birthday party. GIL was all, "Well THAT didn't happen overnight" (they're used to finding out before the pee stick dries, but my mother had 7 m/cs; I've watched her have to recind the good news to people *she didn't even tell, but were gossiped to*) and of course since GIL only wanted 2, while that was my 3rd, the catty, "You know what causes that, don't you?" (Yeah lady, I had a Paraguard removed to do it so...)

    I honestly don't think we'll see the ILs until DS2's birthday again and I'll be 24wks. I've worked really hard to build a support group of friends I'll probably tell at the end of the first trimester if all goes well, and sooner if things are taking a turn (TW: My last loss was at 9w2d after seeing on-track growth and a heartbeat at 8wks). I think I'll announce on FB though around 17-19wks, when my bump finally surpassed my boobs last time.
  • @GhanimaAtreides So sorry to hear about your losses :( and about the difficult family dynamics! I wish people could just get on board with the whole "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all!!" SERIOUSLY!!!
    DS1 - 03/31/2006
    DS2 - 12/31/2008
    DS3 - 06/26/2012
    DS4 - 08/07/2014
  • I don't know when we will tell everyone, we didn't tell until 20 weeks with DS2 but it was really tough.  The only reason I was able to hide it was that it was winter so I could wear huge sweatshirts. I don't even think I'm going to tell DH for a few weeks because he has been pretty stressed out at work.  

    We have a trip to Aruba with friends in July so I'm sure they will be able to tell by then, especially in a bathing suit. I told my mom today just because I needed someone to talk to about it. 
  • TNChickTNChick
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I am still in shock, so I am going to need to sit on it for a bit. I will probably tell on our big family vacay in June of this little one decides to stick around.
  • I told my immediate family on mother's day with a cute photo of DD with one of those typical "eviction" notice. DH didn't want to share the news so early originally but my family knew we were TTC, plus if for some reason this didn't work out, I would want my family's support. He ended up telling his mom the next day ha. Plus my BMB family know too. =) I plan to hold off on sharing the news with close friends until after the first appointment then go public at least 13 weeks, just like last time.

  • We went through IVF so people we are close to knew the timeline.  They found out the day we got our first beta test. We have not announced it publicly though it's hard to hold it in.  We did have a subchoronic hemorrhage this week so it makes me more leery to announce anything.  Maybe after my 9 week ultrasound (I'm 6w+3).
    TTC since 3/2014
    PCOS - Clomid Oct. - Dec. 2014
    Cancelled IUI Nov. 2015
    IVF #1 retrieval 2/2016, transfer 4/18/16 (1 embie, 17 frosties)
    BFP 4/28/16
    Beta #1 - 126, beta #2 - 8311
    SCH 5/10/16 - baby still has heartbeat!
    U/S 5/19 - We are having TWINS!
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  • j32444j32444
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Maybe we will tell 4th of July weekend.  I am thinking I will have my son wear a shirt that says something about being a big brother and wait for people to see it.

  • MrsRahlMrsRahl
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Photogenic
    j32444 said:
    Maybe we will tell 4th of July weekend.  I am thinking I will have my son wear a shirt that says something about being a big brother and wait for people to see it.
    That's my plan too :)
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • I told my Mom the day I found out. I only tell people that have had miscarriages and pregnancy before because they understand. I avoid most people until I get a heartbeat, then I feel a lot more confident. Last year I told my family at 8 weeks I think it was? And then work at 13 weeks.
  • I am only 4w 2days but my DH is on the phone with my MIL now and I will be calling my mom today. We are really close to both of our families and really wanted them to know early. I will feel better once they know! :smile: 

    Computer Hope
    TTC January 2016
    BFP May 17, 2016
    DS born January 31st, 2017: Rory "Mac" MacKinnon

  • I told my best friend as soon as I knew. My older sister and MIL were visiting for my graduation (we literally live across the country from family) and we told them the day after grad, on Mother's Day. I was 5+3 then. Skyped my mom and my other sisters and told them that day. They were all super happy and crying and it was kind of weird haha. Husband went home the past week and he told his siblings and dad then. I still haven't told my dad, but I'm not super close to him either. We aren't telling everyone or announcing it everywhere until it's super obvious and I can't hide it. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • We told our immediate families within a few days of finding out. I personally feel it's silly to wait until a certain point to tell. If something happened I would want my family's support. That's just me and how I feel based on the relationship I have with my family. I'll be waiting a little longer to tell distant family and friends though. 
  • Me. My relationship with my two sisters is practically non existent. There is years of built up resentment that they don't want to deal with or talk about and so every time I am home, I have to deal with the massive Elephant in the room and the fact that they ignore me. It has become so bad that I couldn't invite them to my wedding as I didn't want them to ruin it for me. I really don't want to deal with their reaction/lack of reaction when they find out I am pregnant. I will let my parents tell them. 
    I'm sorry that you also have a toxic family. xxx
  • sLass42sLass42
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Don't know weeks yet, making my appt soon
    But clearblue says 2-4 weeks, however accurate that is lol.
    We were going to wait till after 10 weeks, but we've already spilled the beans to our best friend and FIL and we just found out today....
    I don't think we'll even attempt to wait it out now. I also like the idea of support if something does happen.
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  • LecoolLecool
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I'm still only 3+5, so I'm still nervous about sharing the news. I told my best friend, and I'm going to tell my direct supervisor/friend when I see her next on Friday. They're the only two who knew we were TTC, and my supervisor has been particularly supportive, and I figure it will be good to have her in on the secret for work reasons when I start feeling crappier or have appointments.

    Still undecided on when to tell everyone else. Maybe we will after we hear the heartbeat. 

    Me: 28 | DH: 31
    Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
    TTC #1 since November 2015
    BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17

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  • MylittaMylitta
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'll tell my mom in a couple weeks. I want it to feel real when I tell her... and it all kinds of doesn't. 

    We'll wait to 8 weeks to tell his family. Mostly because we'll be out of town to see his sister graduate, and therefore can tell his dad/smom face to face since they live in another state. This means wet also tell his mom/sdad around this time too.

    I have a wonderful relationship with my mom (did with my dad as well before he passed away)... so I'll tell her sooner. But he's not that close to his family. He tries and I think he loves them, but it wasn't the greatest situation growing up.
    Married: 01/2010
    Mirena out late 8/2015, NTNP through holidays, TTC 1/16
    BFP: 5/16 - Baby boy:1/17 He's amazing!!!
    TFAS 9/17
    BFP: 2/18 - Baby girl: 9/18 She's fabulous!!!

  • cabu14cabu14
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I feel much better after reading all this!  We are only 4w but plan to tell our parents this weekend I'm so excited bc I just want to share.  The H and I thought it would be good to have a week to be the only ones to know but I just wanna talk to someone who's had babies lol.  I will probably also tell my sister and brother this weekend... But I don't want the sil or bil to find out for a while.. We are just not as close to them as my siblings. 

    Me: 31 | Husband: 32
    Married: September 2014!
    TTC #1: January 2016 BFP 5/16/16 Quinn Born 1/27/17 

  • My mom and one friend know at this point. Going to tell the rest of the parents the weekend prior to July 4th. Announcing to the world on 4th of July....12.5 weeks
  • My husband already told his brother-- he was dying to tell someone and I know he won't say anything to anyone except probably his wife (fine with me- we were the first ones they told also). Other than that we haven't told anyone and we want to wait longer (I'm only 5 weeks.) I do really want to tell my mom soon though. I'm still debating if/when/how to do that.
    31 years young
    from Seattle(ish)
    5 years married
    FTM and PGAL
    EDD is 12/23/17
    -- It's a BOY! ---

  • edited May 2016
    We just found out yesterday. And only my mom knows so far. This is our first so idk when we will tell others. Maybe after I see tomorrow when my first appointment will be. We are thinking father's day for our dad's. I will be a little over 8wks then. According to due date calculator I'm 5wks3days.

    Edited due to misspelled word.
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