My main concern is how on earth I am going to function with a 2 year old and a newborn. DH works a rotating schedule so sometimes he works days and sometimes he works till midnight. I'll probably be riding the struggle bus come August.
@midwestbaby Thank you! And I'm sorry you're on opposite schedules as your DH too! It's definitely really tough doing that and not having a social life. I've had this schedule and lack of a social life because of it for over four years, but it never really bothered me until DH got a normal job.
I hope you're able to pay off some of that debt so you can get better hours and spend more time with your DH and friends! We're in a similar boat with student loans so our hands are kind of tied with where we can live (rent affordability) and we both have to have jobs when we move.
I also keep thinking how terrifying it will be dropping my baby off at daycare at three months old. The more I think about it, the more I worry. I can already tell I am going to be that FTM nut job.
I wonder if our daycare would let us keep the owlet monitor on her for the time she is there so I can at least see her stats. She would only be at day care for about three hours a day for a maximum of four days a week and minimum two days a week. I don't think it would be an unreasonable request. The only thing I could foresee is the daycare having us sign a waiver that they are not responsible if the monitor become damaged in their care. Thoughts?
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I also keep thinking how terrifying it will be dropping my baby off at daycare at three months old. The more I think about it, the more I worry. I can already tell I am going to be that FTM nut job.
I wonder if our daycare would let us keep the owlet monitor on her for the time she is there so I can at least see her stats. She would only be at day care for about three hours a day for a maximum of four days a week and minimum two days a week. I don't think it would be an unreasonable request. The only thing I could foresee is the daycare having us sign a waiver that they are not responsible if the monitor become damaged in their care. Thoughts?
I know you're asking about using the monitor at daycare or only at home, but I just looked up the Owlet monitor since I'd never heard of it before. Honestly, while I'm sure you're worried about the baby not breathing, etc I think the monitor in general will cause more anxiety than if you didn't use it. My son was in the hospital at 4 months old with RSV and as he slept his oxygen level would dip slightly below the target for days while he was fine off oxygen during the day. He stayed an extra 2 or so days because of it. The doctors and nurses basically all said that its "normal" but their practices are to keep kids until they stay above the target. If he had been at home sleeping he would have been perfectly fine but we would have been freaking out.
Im not saying you definitely shouldn't use it, but it's something to consider before using.
I'm not as worried about how we're going to cope as I am how the dogs will cope. They are both rescue dogs who have been lavished with love and attention since we got them. I'm not sure how playing second fiddle to a baby is going to work out. And then our larger dog - a 20 lb. doxie mix - does not know his own strength. He likes to pounce (playfully), and puts his entire weight into it. I'm terrified of turning my head for a second and him pouncing on the baby.
I also keep thinking how terrifying it will be dropping my baby off at daycare at three months old. The more I think about it, the more I worry. I can already tell I am going to be that FTM nut job.
I wonder if our daycare would let us keep the owlet monitor on her for the time she is there so I can at least see her stats. She would only be at day care for about three hours a day for a maximum of four days a week and minimum two days a week. I don't think it would be an unreasonable request. The only thing I could foresee is the daycare having us sign a waiver that they are not responsible if the monitor become damaged in their care. Thoughts?
I know you're asking about using the monitor at daycare or only at home, but I just looked up the Owlet monitor since I'd never heard of it before. Honestly, while I'm sure you're worried about the baby not breathing, etc I think the monitor in general will cause more anxiety than if you didn't use it. My son was in the hospital at 4 months old with RSV and as he slept his oxygen level would dip slightly below the target for days while he was fine off oxygen during the day. He stayed an extra 2 or so days because of it. The doctors and nurses basically all said that its "normal" but their practices are to keep kids until they stay above the target. If he had been at home sleeping he would have been perfectly fine but we would have been freaking out.
Im not saying you definitely shouldn't use it, but it's something to consider before using.
Thank you for this information. I read up some more on the owlet too and it seems it doesn't work well when baby moves. The daycare we selected is really great, I am just a major worrier. One of my Facebook friends posted a petition to extend FMLA here in the US last night because of recent deaths of infants at daycare. I think that put me in panic mode last night. I really wish I could stay home with her after my maternity leave and I think I need to start coming to grips that that is not possible.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@midwestbaby and @Curls919, from what I read I think the Owlet only designed for sleeping situations. That being said, I think it would be very reasonable to ask the daycare to use it while your baby is napping or in the crib.
We have not even thought/discussed childcare options at this point so it doesn't seem like an impending reality to me yet... :-/
@midwestbaby and @Curls919, from what I read I think the Owlet only designed for sleeping situations. That being said, I think it would be very reasonable to ask the daycare to use it while your baby is napping or in the crib.
We have not even thought/discussed childcare options at this point so it doesn't seem like an impending reality to me yet... :-/
I don't mean to freak you out, but depending upon how long your maternity leave is, you may want to start thinking about this NOW. We started researching day care back in February, and at that point some were already full for the time our baby would need it. It's not uncommon to have cancellations, but the good places do fill up fast. Now, if you're hoping to go with a nanny or something, you may have more time, but you should start talking about it. It was very stressful to start looking for places--I, like some other posters, am still nervous about leaving baby and the whole process was kind of terrifying, but I feel better about it now that we've found a place we think will work for us.
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@cait5413, I'm sure you are absolutely right! Especially because I will likely head back to work mid-November, just before the holidays start. The two things we have going for us at this point is that I am part-time and have the option to work nights and/or weekends, but I would definitely need time to sleep prior to night shift!!
I guess I need to talk to work and get a schedule plan for after I return so I know what childcare parameters to look for. And yes, I'm getting bummed out thinking about this now...
Recently I have been really worried about my neighbors. We plan on staying in our beautiful loft a bit longer. Do I warn my neighbors that I almost never see? What if they come to complain about crying/noise... what do I do? Our one neighbor already pounds on the wall if we watch a movie a bit too loud, which happened over the weekend and brought on these fears.
We used to have downstairs neighbors who would watch movies soooo loud - like, do you seriously need surround sound in a 1 bedroom apt??? We'd have to go ask them to turn down their volume at least a few times a month. Anyway, they eventually had a colicky baby and we never said a word or complained to them about the baby. Baby cries are different than loud TVs.
I'm worried about the transition for DD. She so far seems very excited about getting a little brother, but I know that can (and most likely will) change pretty quickly once reality sets in. Having a toddler and a newborn is really nerve-wracking. I want to be able to give them everything they both need, but realize I need to also take care of myself. It will be a learning curve for sure.
DD was a tough baby, so I'm not too worried about crying, sleeping, etc. I figure it can't get much worse than it was with DD. Hopefully he will be an awesome nurser like her though. And I second the food allergy thing. DD had no issues with my milk, reflux, etc. I'm hoping this baby has a good digestive system like her.
On a vanity level, I'm worried about getting back into my work clothes in 12 weeks. My doctor has said on several occasions how quickly your body bounces back after number one, but you can't expect the same with number two. I really don't want to have to spend the money on a new wardrobe. Sure wish my office was cool with yoga pants and tank tops.
TBH, I'm slightly terrified and most concerned that I'll get a baby that doesn't sleep. FTM, and I am a sleeper. I get sick, everytime, if I go several days of no or bad sleep. How I can/will do months of not sleeping is beyond me. So really, I'm most worried about not getting any sleep!
@LWC1112 I have invested in lots of maxi skirts in normal sizes that can stretch during pregnancy. That way, I have clothes for work afterwards also. My doctor has always said "You can get back to your pre-pregnancy weight but will never be the same shape".
@LWC1112 I have invested in lots of maxi skirts in normal sizes that can stretch during pregnancy. That way, I have clothes for work afterwards also. My doctor has always said "You can get back to your pre-pregnancy weight but will never be the same shape".
To be fair, you CAN be the same shape but it takes a looong time to get there!
@Curls919 I definitely believe some people have that ability. I have just always gone by that motto because with my first child, once my hips spread for labor and delivery, no amount of exercise or anything fixes that. I now have "mom" hips and I am ok with that. My body is, for the lack of a better word, softer than before even if my stomach goes back down. So by shape I don't think she means hourglass, apple, pear, or whatever other body shapes there are. I think it is everything in general.
@Curls919 I definitely believe some people have that ability. I have just always gone by that motto because with my first child, once my hips spread for labor and delivery, no amount of exercise or anything fixes that. I now have "mom" hips and I am ok with that. My body is, for the lack of a better word, softer than before even if my stomach goes back down. So by shape I don't think she means hourglass, apple, pear, or whatever other body shapes there are. I think it is everything in general.
I started out with "mom" hips so there's that haha
@Curls919 I definitely believe some people have that ability. I have just always gone by that motto because with my first child, once my hips spread for labor and delivery, no amount of exercise or anything fixes that. I now have "mom" hips and I am ok with that. My body is, for the lack of a better word, softer than before even if my stomach goes back down. So by shape I don't think she means hourglass, apple, pear, or whatever other body shapes there are. I think it is everything in general.
Yes definitely more of everything. I'm actually really concerned with my chest going back to anything somewhat normal after this one. The ladies never returned to their original size after I finished breastfeeding. And this go round I've definitely gotten bigger there again. Boobs everywhere.
@jamiesc58 your doctor is correct for me. I have some friends who look like they don't even have kids and then some friends whose bodies aren't the same. I'm one of the lucky ones that my body isn't the same as before. My bump is different with this baby I guess from where I've had DD but you can see my, love handles, for lack of a better word. That could be from the csection as well. Having babies is hard, in every aspect.
For some reason I've managed to avoid a lot of stress and anxiety over pregnancy fears most of the time. I am normally an anxious person so I believe this is pregnancy hormones keeping me all calm and zen. But if I do let my mind "go there," I certainly have a lot of fears.
I'm a FTM so I of course have the fear that we'll screw up and hurt/harm the baby. That's the big one -- and then there would be guilt, shame, CPS getting involved. I am worried about PP depression or that I'll be one of those women who suffers a psychotic break or something. I am worried that the change in family dynamic will ruin my relationship with DH. I am worried that the cats will smother the baby. I am worried that I won't be able to find a job when it's time to go back to work.I am worried that we'll be on such a tight budget that one "emergency" could put us in financial peril. The list goes on and on.... that's why it's best not to let my mind go there.
Sleep deprivation! My almost 2 year old was awake for 2 hours last night like he does from time to time. He's not crying or upset in any way until we try to leave. He's never been a great sleeper, so I'm worried about adding a newborn who really doesn't sleep at all. I'm also worried about what other STM said - balancing attention between a toddler and a newborn.
@LWC1112 I have invested in lots of maxi skirts in normal sizes that can stretch during pregnancy. That way, I have clothes for work afterwards also. My doctor has always said "You can get back to your pre-pregnancy weight but will never be the same shape".
This is soooooo true. I was back to my pp weight 11 days after DD was born, DAYS, but my body was surely not the same. I even lost a little more and got below my pp weight after I stopped BFing and my body still wasn't nearly the same shape as it was before at an even heavier non-pregnant weight.
@SkiChic626 I was always about 3 or 4 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight with DD. My clothes all seemed to fit pretty much the same except in the bust. However, I just feel like it is going to be more of a struggle with the second baby. I should probably just start saving now for new work clothes.
Definitely SIDS. I also have this fear that I won't connect with the baby as I had imagined. To be completely honest, I'm so afraid I'll get severe PP depression. DH and I haven't been around babies and I can just picture a late night meltdown with a screaming baby and us being completely clueless to help make things better. I'm afraid I'll want to just disappear or something.
I only hear about how despite all the pain and changes you go through, it'll all be worth it once baby comes but I know PP depression is very real, just don't have people around me talking about this part of the journey. It's always, "oh don't worry, you forget about everything once you have your baby in your arms and it's an instant connection."
This. All of this, minus not having been around babies. I have the practical experience of dealing with a baby (nephew) but not the emotional one.
Aside from health issues, I'm worried about the jump from two big kids to two big and one tiny. And I'm worried about baby being colicky and if he will be a good sleeper. And if my marriage will be better or suffer with this change. And I'm worried about my son getting middle child syndrome, or my oldest feeling like an assistant. But the excitement is still out weighing my fears. For now at least!
I'm a little worried about how I will be when I'm trying to figure out how to mother 2 children. When I'm exhausted I can be so cranky, and I just hope that I can keep myself calm and help my 4 year old daughter transition through all of it at the same time. It's already going to be so much transition for her, she'll be going to school a month after the baby gets here. What will help is that DH is taking time off in the beginning and DD will still be in daycare for a while before school starts.
I'm terrified of the BF process. I just hope this baby will latch and we will succeed at breastfeeding. I'm also concerned of the transition of 2 LOs to now 3.
I am adding our fourth child this time. I have never had babies so close together (the two youngest will be 16 months apart) and I don't want dd to feel ignored or like someone is taking her place. We have always had years in between (4 1/2 in between the first two and 6 years between the second two) and have been able to get through the baby and toddler stages without someone else coming into the picture. She is already clingy and is having a longer stranger danger phase than I am used to. A friend of ours brought her baby over and dd hated her. She tried to push her out of my arms.
I'm so scared of this too. Our will be 17months apart. I
I'm concerned about my dog not adjusting to the baby (mainly just barking to wake baby up after I just got him to sleep).
I'm concerned that I will struggle with breast feeding. To me there is no option, but who knows what could happen.
I'm also concerned about colic. Sounds awful.
I have an abundance of experience with kiddos of all.ages, though this is my first. My husband has ZERO baby experience, maybe even negative. And I'm concerned about riding the line between helping and teaching him and being a hindrance to him learning his own ways and doing the 'looking over his shoulder like an asshole' thing.
acpear11 I am right there with you only, my older son just turned 17. I was 18 when I got pregnant with him. Needless to say, I am having doubts about my abilities to handle this again. I am over planning, I think because I didn't plan at all the first time. I am panicking this week, hitting 26 weeks, 100 days to go today! Scary!! I feel like I am making my husband crazy by asking him to do all these random things and making sure we have what we need. My friend is throwing me a shower at the end of June and I am freaking that I won't have enough time after that to get whatever else I need after that. I mean, I could go into labor at any moment, right??- See CRAZY!!!
@paulakathleen Upon recommendation of a friend / fellow dog parent we've been training our dog with you tube videos of babies crying. We've been rewarding her for not reacting when we play a video of a baby crying. So far we've got it down to sulky (quiet) woofing rather than what we started with, which was full on panicked barking / howling.
Our dog is a corgi, and they are known for being... vocal.
@Allisun85 thanks for the suggestion. I need to start doing that. We have a doberman, he's pretty mellow so I'm not sure that it will be a huge issue, but when he makes noise, it's loud
Re: What are you most worried about bringing baby home?
I hope you're able to pay off some of that debt so you can get better hours and spend more time with your DH and friends! We're in a similar boat with student loans so our hands are kind of tied with where we can live (rent affordability) and we both have to have jobs when we move.
I wonder if our daycare would let us keep the owlet monitor on her for the time she is there so I can at least see her stats. She would only be at day care for about three hours a day for a maximum of four days a week and minimum two days a week. I don't think it would be an unreasonable request. The only thing I could foresee is the daycare having us sign a waiver that they are not responsible if the monitor become damaged in their care. Thoughts?
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Im not saying you definitely shouldn't use it, but it's something to consider before using.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
We have not even thought/discussed childcare options at this point so it doesn't seem like an impending reality to me yet... :-/
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
I guess I need to talk to work and get a schedule plan for after I return so I know what childcare parameters to look for. And yes, I'm getting bummed out thinking about this now...
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
DD was a tough baby, so I'm not too worried about crying, sleeping, etc. I figure it can't get much worse than it was with DD. Hopefully he will be an awesome nurser like her though. And I second the food allergy thing. DD had no issues with my milk, reflux, etc. I'm hoping this baby has a good digestive system like her.
On a vanity level, I'm worried about getting back into my work clothes in 12 weeks. My doctor has said on several occasions how quickly your body bounces back after number one, but you can't expect the same with number two. I really don't want to have to spend the money on a new wardrobe. Sure wish my office was cool with yoga pants and tank tops.
TBH, I'm slightly terrified and most concerned that I'll get a baby that doesn't sleep. FTM, and I am a sleeper. I get sick, everytime, if I go several days of no or bad sleep. How I can/will do months of not sleeping is beyond me. So really, I'm most worried about not getting any sleep!
I'm a FTM so I of course have the fear that we'll screw up and hurt/harm the baby. That's the big one -- and then there would be guilt, shame, CPS getting involved. I am worried about PP depression or that I'll be one of those women who suffers a psychotic break or something. I am worried that the change in family dynamic will ruin my relationship with DH. I am worried that the cats will smother the baby. I am worried that I won't be able to find a job when it's time to go back to work.I am worried that we'll be on such a tight budget that one "emergency" could put us in financial peril. The list goes on and on.... that's why it's best not to let my mind go there.
I'm also worried about what other STM said - balancing attention between a toddler and a newborn.
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
I'm concerned that I will struggle with breast feeding. To me there is no option, but who knows what could happen.
I'm also concerned about colic. Sounds awful.
I have an abundance of experience with kiddos of all.ages, though this is my first. My husband has ZERO baby experience, maybe even negative. And I'm concerned about riding the line between helping and teaching him and being a hindrance to him learning his own ways and doing the 'looking over his shoulder like an asshole' thing.
@paulakathleen Upon recommendation of a friend / fellow dog parent we've been training our dog with you tube videos of babies crying. We've been rewarding her for not reacting when we play a video of a baby crying. So far we've got it down to sulky (quiet) woofing rather than what we started with, which was full on panicked barking / howling.
Our dog is a corgi, and they are known for being... vocal.