What are you most worried about bringing baby home?

cm716

I hope we all come home with healthy babies! Beyond that, what are your biggest fears/concerns about bringing home your babe?

cm716

I think I'm most worried about transitioning from two to three kids. I can do this (i think).

I also worry about putting too much responsibility on my oldest. I worry my toddler won't understand. I'm worried this baby will be a terrible sleeper like dd2.

I'm also worried that I won't be able to get out of the house with three kids. The cabin fever gets real being a sahm.

bananers

I worry about having a colicky baby and trying to juggle that with a toddler. I worry DS1 is going to start acting up or not take the transition well. 

JournoGrl23

I'm a FTM. So I'm worried about EVERYTHING. I'm worried about SIDS, worried that she'll be so fragile as a baby that me or DH or something else could hurt her. Scared she'll get sick and I won't know what to do. And as rediculous as this sounds, I'm scared to change my first diaper! I'm hoping these are normal fears for FTMs.

My aunt told me this is how my cousin was when she had her first, but then when she had her second she realized they don't break and they're not as fragile as we make them out to be. So she was much more relaxed with her second. I hope that's true!

MrsEWilson

I'm a FTM. I'm just worried about him crying and me not being able to comfort him or just not knowing anything about a baby. I feel the same way I did in college, I read all the books and study notes...yet I still froze up come test time. I always passed, but freaked the f**k out. Lol. 
Plus I keep reading about new crap that can harm babies, some people are against vaccinations, and the major thing is knowing I'm having a son who might be the target or police brutality or racial profiling, no matter how well my husband and I raise him.

gadzooks_3

As a FTM I have a combination of fear of it all and a refusal to think thst far ahead. The two concrete concerns I have are 1) crying I can't get to stop and the neighbors knocking on my do I r to complain at 3am. 2) keeping the cats out of the crib.

JLyn821

I don't have any fears, just concerns.

I'm anxious about transitioning from 1-2 kids. From what friends have told me, the anticipation is worse than the reality.

I'm hoping baby girl is as fantastic a sleeper/nurser/happy baby as DS always has been. 

I'm not worried at all about baby girl. I've done the newborn thing. What I haven't done is the toddler thing WITH a newborn. That's concerning.

ballofmeat

I second the SIDS, which is why i purchased a monitor so that I can have some peace of mind.

I am also really worried as a FTM about knowing what to do in general and if I will be able to breast feed. 

Im sure I will have a moment of panic when we leave the hospital and arrive home with no help. 

Curls919

JLyn821 said:

I don't have any fears, just concerns.

I'm anxious about transitioning from 1-2 kids. From what friends have told me, the anticipation is worse than the reality.

I'm hoping baby girl is as fantastic a sleeper/nurser/happy baby as DS always has been. 

I'm not worried at all about baby girl. I've done the newborn thing. What I haven't done is the toddler thing WITH a newborn. That's concerning.

I could have written this!  Ditto with the transition from 1-2 and this baby not being as awesome as DS. He had some latch issues for the first few weeks but he was otherwise a good water and sleeper and otherwise an agreeable baby. 

I'm convinced he's the decoy kid that is so great that he tricked us into having another and this one is going to be a colicky, tantrum throwing mess. 

Mrsrundell

Im mostly worried my dog will bark and wake the baby after Im exhausted and just want a little cat nap.  

ballofmeat

Mrsrundell said:

Im mostly worried my dog will bark and wake the baby after Im exhausted and just want a little cat nap.  

Oh man...this too. Our dog is just a little brat who loves the sound of his own voice. We have even taken him to a trainer...no luck. 

bearsandbeets7

midwestbaby said:

Mrsrundell said:

Im mostly worried my dog will bark and wake the baby after Im exhausted and just want a little cat nap.  

Oh man...this too. Our dog is just a little brat who loves the sound of his own voice. We have even taken him to a trainer...no luck. 

We lived with my parents when we brought DD home and they have a terrier, and they are notorious barkers. It really wasn't ever an issue that I can recall. Best advice anyone ever gave me was not to worry about a quiet environment for baby to sleep. DD was a great sleeper and she slept through pretty much anything, it was when she got older. I miss that deep newborn sleep! 

Now that we will have a 2 year old and a new born this poor kid will probably never get any peace and quiet to sleep in.  

JLyn821

Curls919 said:

I'm convinced he's the decoy kid that is so great that he tricked us into having another and this one is going to be a colicky, tantrum throwing mess. 

 Hahaha! Yes! This!

texasmama2014

Colic. We have a camper so DD and Dh would be kept up with us. 

DD getting her hands on the baby and hurting him/her if I go pee or something... 

Food allergies. I would maybe try elimination diet for me, but wouldn't have an issue with formula. It's after that when finding foods the new baby could eat and the constant worry of them getting ahold of something when I'm not there...

lblu43

For those STM or TTMs, any advice on integrating the new little one with an older sibling?? Of all my minor worries, this is the one real concern.

DS will be 7 shortly after his brother is born. He's such a great kid, but he's never had to share "mom" before. I pulled double-duty (Mom & dad) and raised him as a single parent. I am also worried he'll feel ostracized, despite our best efforts. DH and I got married a yr ago; we are now a biracial family. I was raised the same way (parents split/remarried etc), but I also had 1 of 2 brothers that shared both parents with me. The one rule was we were never split up. 

charmedlifex3

I worry about the cats. That he'll be allergic to them, or that they will be a suffocation danger to him. 
My cat also tends to be possessive of me, freaking out if the other pets are on my lap, even sleeping between DH and I so SHE can snuggle me and he can't. So I worry about how she will react to me paying all my attention to anything else.
We've been keeping the door to his room shut, and teaching the cats that is a place they get in trouble for going, and playing you tube videos of crying babies. We are going to set up the bassinet in our room soon and put tin foil in it so they avoid it... not sure what else we can do to prepare, but yup, this is my big fear about actually bringing him home. 

ShanRum3

My fears are not so much about baby, but about myself being able to handle the transition from 2 to 3... and being able to get my "big kids" ready for school while taking care of a newborn!

JournoGrl23

I didn't think of the pets. I'm worried about that too. I have a dog and two cats and they're all clingy. I want them to feel loved and not left out. Also, I'm worried about the baby being allergic to them. That would just be aweful.

acpear11

I'm worried about... everything? As a STM with a gap of 10 years when this baby arrives, I'm afraid I don't have what it takes anymore, like I'm gonna somehow fail. My first was so, so easy. I worry about colic/non-sleeper, etc. All the unknowns. I worry about my first, that he's gonna feel left out.

Perhaps most irrational - I worry that somehow having the baby (planned) will be the demise of our relationship and I'll end up a single mom again. We have a beautiful relationship - he's my best friend! But for some reason I worry about this change. 

The anxiety I've had the last few weeks has been unreal! I'm ready to move into the excitement phase!

nanner26

I actually had this conversation with my friend who just had her baby last week. She said she had prepared so much for the delivery and birth and not really for the "after". She said she spends a lot of time googling during feedings about "is this normal or that normal". So it made me want to look into breastfeeding, sleeping habits, etc. even more than before. (FTM here)

Wylies

FTM here as well, and I worry about evrything. I feel like despite how much research I do, I'll never be prepared enough for this! I worry about brest feeding, SIDS, colic, that i wont know what to do, etc. And I feel so unatural while handling other peoples babies so Im afraid of how I'll be with mine. I love her sooo much already I don't want to fail her! Does that make sense?

I also worry about long term stuff, like I wonder how I am going to take care of a child when I can hardly take care of my own responsibilities (horrible at saving money, I'm in all sorts of debt, sometimes I still feel like a baby myself! etc)

 I'm 24 but just recently got my life back on track after making some bad life choices. This is just a lot to handle. I guess i"m terrified but thrilled at the same time I just want to be a good mom!! 

WinnieLou82

I'm a FTM - I'm just worried about the beginning being a total shit show (in more ways then one  ). We really have no experience with babies and I know we'll get on a schedule and hit a rhythm eventually but to start... well, I'm worried it's going to be a complete sleep deprived, dog barking, baby screaming, boobs leaking disaster.

mirmirskye12

I'm a first time mom. . So I'm worried we won't be able to afford everything or that I'll lose my patience.  I heard that the first few weeks are terrifying. 

Sekerambo

I found the first few months with dd (outside of breastfeeding challenges) to be easy so I'm not really worried about early stages. I am worried that I'm not going to love this baby as much as dd or that I will love this baby more than dd.  Dd became more difficult as she started to make her opinions known so I'm afraid I'm going to enjoy having a newborn more than a toddler.  

charmedlifex3

@winnielou82 want to know a secret? It will be, sleep deprived, a dog barking, baby screaming, boob leaking shit show. And it won't be because you're a FTM or "doing something wrong" - that's just life with a newborn. Good thing it doesn't last forever and they are damn cute or no one would ever do this

AliKay20

Definitely SIDS. I also have this fear that I won't connect with the baby as I had imagined. To be completely honest, I'm so afraid I'll get severe PP depression. DH and I haven't been around babies and I can just picture a late night meltdown with a screaming baby and us being completely clueless to help make things better. I'm afraid I'll want to just disappear or something.

I only hear about how despite all the pain and changes you go through, it'll all be worth it once baby comes but I know PP depression is very real, just don't have people around me talking about this part of the journey. It's always, "oh don't worry, you forget about everything once you have your baby in your arms and it's an instant connection." 

ballofmeat

@AliKay20 you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm also worried about PP depression. I went off my meds as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I'm worried that with all the changes once she is here will make me neglect my baby or feel disconnected from her. 

I think a lot of women struggle with an instant connection with their newborn. I am trying to gear up a support team for the first 4 weeks I am home to help with the transition. I'm hoping that will relieve some of the pressure and anxiety of being a FTM.

Bookhousegirl

I'm petrified of handling a newborn and a toddler. The first few weeks are rough and I'm at a loss for how I'm going to get through while also giving DS1 the attention he needs. I'm also afraid that we got lucky with DS1 and this LO will be colicky and/or a horrible sleeper. I've heard such horror stories of babies with colick and I'm not sure how I would handle it. 

bearsandbeets7

@WinnieLou82 DD is 18 months and some days still feel like a shit show. 

emmeline714

I'm scared I'm fail at everything being my first born child I'm petrified 

tmk0325

I'm scared that I will have two colic babies at the same time.. I was colic... I'm also afraid I won't be able to handle it and end up with really bad post pardon depression. FTM.

JournoGrl23

I'm also worried about PP depression. I have an anxiety disorder and had to go off my meds when I got pregnant, so I've been extra anxious this whole pregnancy. Plus, DH got a new job and is now working days while I'm still stuck on nights. We only see each other once a week. It's caused me to become depressed because I never see him or anyone other than my coworkers. I'm so scared I'll go crazy or get really depressed once the baby is born. I'm really hoping I'll actually feel better then.

Katm89

@JournoGrl23 working separate shifts from you DH is rough... is he going to be able to take time off when you give birth?

JournoGrl23

@Katm89 He's planning to take a week or so during my maternity leave, which I can't wait for. Plus, as soon as I finish my maternity leave, we're both applying for jobs in the city where all our parents and most of our friends live. We're hoping to get jobs where we'll be on the same schedule again. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just really hard right now.

SkiChic626

My biggest worry is that DD isn't going to understand why mommy can't give her 110% attention anymore, and I don't want her to feel jilted.  She'll always be the one who made me a mommy, and no one can take that from her, but she'll have just turned 2 and can't comprehend all that mushy stuff just yet.

My second biggest concern is that I'll fail at BFing.  I'm sooooo not crunchy or anything, but it's something that's important to me, especially since my babies are IVF babies - I want my body to do SOMETHING normal and natural for them.  It was really hard with DD, and I struggled with my hormones (PCOS) and keeping a steady supply.  Sometimes I'd have crazy OS and pump 12 oz out of one boob and other times I could barely pump drops.  I made it to 7.5 mos before my milk dried up and then another 1.5 mos with my freezer stash, and I want to be able to do the same, or more, for this baby.  My boobs are way fuller and heavier this pregnancy than they were last time, so I'm hoping that's a good sign, but we'll see.

michelle_shelle

Just like @emmeline714 I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of everything, of the unknown of having someone so completely dependent on me. Not having enough patiences or knowing what he/she needs from me when crying. Losing myself or my relationship with my husband.  

Katm89

@JournoGrl23 so glad that it will be ending soon! I had a schedule like that with my husband for 3 months and it was horrid. It's really hard and totally understandable for you to get a bit depressed!

jamiesc58

I am adding our fourth child this time. I have never had babies so close together (the two youngest will be 16 months apart) and I don't want dd to feel ignored or like someone is taking her place. We have always had years in between (4 1/2 in between the first two and 6 years between the second two) and have been able to get through the baby and toddler stages without someone else coming into the picture. She is already clingy and is having a longer stranger danger phase than I am used to. A friend of ours brought her baby over and dd hated her. She tried to push her out of my arms.

LadyBear10

I am a FTM so name it I have worried about it...

Recently I have been really worried about my neighbors. We plan on staying in our beautiful loft a bit longer. Do I warn my neighbors that I almost never see? What if they come to complain about crying/noise... what do I do? Our one neighbor already pounds on the wall if we watch a movie a bit too loud, which happened over the weekend and brought on these fears. 

ballofmeat

@JournoGrl23 I can really to relate to everything you said. DH works days and I work nights mostly too. It gets depressing sitting home in a quiet house off my medication. And my social life is pretty non existent since I am usually working when everyone is home in the evenings. My light at the end of the tunnel is after another year more of our debt will be paid down and I can reduce my work hours. 

I will be crossing my fingers extra for you and DH to find jobs soon after your LO is here. Hang in there because I know it stinks right now. 

MamaKSquared

I'm a FTM, so SO many things. I worry about SIDS. I worry that our fir daughter will feel left out. I worry that the lack of sleep we will both experience will make us cranky and cause us to argue over stupid things that don't matter. I worry that I'll forget to make time for myself and my marriage and that before I realize it, I won't be anything except a mom, I worry about juggling work and a bigger family when I return to work. I'm very excited to meet our LO, but the thought of it actually being here is overwhelming at times.