Monday Bitchfest

sldp123

What do you have to bitch about this early Monday morning?

sldp123

So, it's not even 8am and I selfishly posted this thread because I have a MBF about my husband that I need to get off my chest. I had my trigger shot at 7am Saturday morning and we were told to have sex the next three nights. We did Saturday night, then yesterday H was gone for like 14 hours at a sports memorabilia show four hours away. (Granted, he didn't know when he made the plans that it would be O day, but that's neither here nor there.) He came home exhausted and cranky with a migraine. So after DS goes to bed he is all, "will tomorrow count?" and I said honestly no, probably not, because I'm probably O'ing as we speak (36ish hours after trigger). So then he said, "well, we're still good, right? Because last night." And I'm just thinking REALLY?? I am taking Clomid and feeling like crap all the time. I am going to the RE 45 minutes away for transvaginal ultrasounds every other minute. And now I'm injecting myself with hormones to make myself ovulate. Literally ALL you have to do is have sex with your wife when the doctor says to, and you can't do it?? But of course there was no way for me to say that without sounding like a total asshole who is using her H as a sperm bank. So I just said yeah we're good. But UGH. We will still have -1 which I guess is the big one, but I'm pissed.

izza2

I get irrationally aggravated when people use TWs for their children and tend to just stop reading threads when I see it because it's so aggravating to me.
We don't need TWs for children. Seriously, stop.

leekat14

My body. His body. I swear every FW he is sick. I have an appointment in June to check on the progression of my endo and the doctor said if he has to open me up he will check my tubes for blockages.  I feel like canceling that appointment.  If we don't have sex when we are supposed to we can't get KU!!!!! I mean my tubes could be blocked, a million other things could be an issue but seriously let's start with sex.  Ugh

And I have an eye appointment 2 hours away.  

leekat14

sldp123 said:

So, it's not even 8am and I selfishly posted this thread because I have a MBF about my husband that I need to get off my chest. I had my trigger shot at 7am Saturday morning and we were told to have sex the next three nights. We did Saturday night, then yesterday H was gone for like 14 hours at a sports memorabilia show four hours away. (Granted, he didn't know when he made the plans that it would be O day, but that's neither here nor there.) He came home exhausted and cranky with a migraine. So after DS goes to bed he is all, "will tomorrow count?" and I said honestly no, probably not, because I'm probably O'ing as we speak (36ish hours after trigger). So then he said, "well, we're still good, right? Because last night." And I'm just thinking REALLY?? I am taking Clomid and feeling like crap all the time. I am going to the RE 45 minutes away for transvaginal ultrasounds every other minute. And now I'm injecting myself with hormones to make myself ovulate. Literally ALL you have to do is have sex with your wife when the doctor says to, and you can't do it?? But of course there was no way for me to say that without sounding like a total asshole who is using her H as a sperm bank. So I just said yeah we're good. But UGH. We will still have -1 which I guess is the big one, but I'm pissed.

@sldp123 I swear H could have a papercut and not want to have sex. Men!

MonaLisaRalphio

@izza2 THANK YOU.

Lecool

@sldp123 That's so frustrating. With everything that you're going through, he has the easy job. FX for the timing that you did get in. Hugs!

sarah0985

@sldp123 I'd be pissed too!!!! Fx'ed -1 is the trick!!!! 
Mine is a bit of an ongoing issue that has been reignited. My husband has family that lives in St. Louis and I'm originally from Chicago. (6hour drives apart) We've been to Chicago 3 times now together and once did make it to St. Louis. Whenever we ask if his family can make it up (after all we've already flown 15 hours and do not have a car!) we are always told no. So I ask if we can meet half way, roughly 2.5-3 hours each just even for a day. No hotels involved. I get told no. But then, anytime they fly, they fly out of Chicago. So it's easy to drive to for a flight but not to see your fucking family? But they always ask if we are coming to see them? Fuck that. No.
They're staying with us the next 5 days on a layover to see their parents in Jordan. I hope I can hold my tongue. 

My husband also has 2 siblings that live here in Dubai. (About 1 hour or so north of us) I have tried so many times to invited them to dinner at our place (I love to cook) and stay the night if they want. I always get told it's too far. While now I'm told that even though they have their own places, they're going to drive back with my husband every night to stay with the rest of the family? So my house is too far for dinner once in 6 months but now it's perfectly convenient? I get they want to see their sisters but if I haven't been blown off for the past 6 months I wouldn't care. 

None of this bothers my husband but it certainly bothers me. It's hard not to take it personally. I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of time at the gym this week or be very busy with work things. I already hate when people stay in my house as I very much love my own space but with the history behind it I'm just already dreading it. 

Eta. Outside this they are very nice people. So at least it's easy to be around as long as I don't think about the other issues.

But even for our wedding they refused to come for the rehearsal and left early the night of the wedding. They didn't even come to the family BBQ that my family organizes the day after to actually get to know my family. They said they would come to the BBQ. But instead sight saw around Chicago for a few hours in the morning and then left. Didn't even say goodbye to my husband when they decided to leave early. 

mrsdaddario

@sldp123 That is really annoying! Sometimes men are so daft. I'm sorry you missed a pivotal day in the FW. But I do think you're right in that -1 was the super important one and you hit it!

Long Rant: 
My MBF is (still reeling from this) the ultra sound tech last Thursday who told me I was "mid-cycle". I am literally dwelling way to hard on this. Despite the fact that the OB doesn't think I'm ovulating at all, I still have this feeling that I am. OB told me OPK's and temping are a waste of my money/time. I haven't stopped though because I feel like it gives me some control. Last cycle I turned an OPK positive on CD 30. I know this doesn't necessarily mean I ovulated. Because I am on CD 25 right now, I'm testing twice a day. My temps are all over the place and completely unhelpful. I have zero fertile CM (yet). And unfortunately last cycle (all the way in January) I wasn't yet checking CM when I turned the OPK positive so I don't know if I did have any at all. I do know that the day after the positive OPK I had cramping in my right ovary. But I can't stop thinking....what did she mean by mid-cycle? Does she think I'll get AF soon? That was CD 21, so am I due to get AF around CD 42? Am I just BSC? I would be really encouraged if I DID get AF naturally on CD 42, seeing as my last AF was 80+ days and only ended because of Provera. Would it mean I was regulating? OB told me not to go more than 30-35 days before taking the next round of Provera. But if this US tech thinks I'm mid-cycle, should I wait it out and see if it comes on it's own? I also have the RE appointment on 4/21, CD 35. Should I wait simply because of this? I don't want to start Provera and then have to wait an entire other cycle if the RE wants to start me on something like Clomid. I'm going crazy you guys. One way ticket to over-thinking, crazy town over here.

20T

My MBF is it is Monday AND CD1 with cramps from hell.

sldp123

leekat14 said:

My body. His body. I swear every FW he is sick. I have an appointment in June to check on the progression of my endo and the doctor said if he has to open me up he will check my tubes for blockages.  I feel like canceling that appointment.  If we don't have sex when we are supposed to we can't get KU!!!!! I mean my tubes could be blocked, a million other things could be an issue but seriously let's start with sex.  Ugh

And I have an eye appointment 2 hours away.  

@leekat14 that's how I feel right now, too. Like if this month doesn't work, I don't even want to do anything next month because what's the point?? Why am I doing all of this work leading up to O if we are just going to ignore the window anyway? The thing is if I would have been more pushy, I'm sure he would have given in, but who wants to be like that? 

MamaMunn

@sldp123 I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now! I'm really afraid that my DH will pull the same kind of stuff. When my Dr. told me she wanted to start all my testing so she could bring in the RE I flat out told DH that if I was going to go through all this he had to be 100% on board and there would be no more excuses for not HIO. I'm pretty sure I sounded like a total bitch, but if I was going to go through all the not fun stuff so we can have a baby he can suck it up and have sex when it's time. He actually ended up being really supportive, but it still makes me nervous! I hope things work out for you and you get your bfp so you don't have to even worry about the next cycle. 

thj101

@sldp123 I'm so sorry for all you are going through.  Even though we are just now actively trying, it irritates me when DH just doesn't want to.. I'm like, ok, so you're done now, like you just don't want to anymore?! and I know that's not it, and I do think he is truly tired, but give me a break... This is literally your only job. I know that sounds super bitchy, but that's how I feel.

My MBF is the waiter who thought I was pregnant... Out to eat at the rehearsal dinner on Friday night for DH's friend's wedding, and the waiter comes by, and gives me my drink first, and says, "I gotta serve the pregnant lady first!" I said, "I'm not pregnant" Waiter keeps going..... "Are you sure? I could have sworn you were pregnant!" I say again, at this point fuming, and mortified, "I'm not pregnant" He says again, "I'm sorry I could have sworn you were"  I wanted to scream, You want to know how I know I'm not pregnant?! Because the pee sticks tell me so!  DH could tell I was angry, and just kept telling me it's ok, calm down... But seriously?! out of all the things this guy could have said, that had to be it? Really?! And the fact that he "could've sworn I was pregnant" gee thanks dude for reiterating that I look big enough to be pregnant in front of all of my friends... Obvs, still mad.

MooFish2364

My MBF is that I went to a genetic counselor this morning and she didn't tell me anything that I didn't read on the Internet. I really expected some solid advice but didn't really get any. She and the high risk OB just said that our issue was extremely rare. Oh great, thanks for that. What the hell does that even mean?! We tried to ask questions but they just kept deferring saying that we could have blood testing done to be sure. The best part is it's only $650 if our insurance doesn't cover it. Okay great...thanks for wasting our time. 

MooFish2364

@20T sorry about the CD1. I'll be right there with ya any minute. 

@thj101 I can't believe anyone would say that unless that person specifically told them that they were pregnant. Even if I'm about 99.5% sure I always wait for that person to bring up their pregnancy. My grandma asked me if I was pregnant last year on my birthday and we weren't even trying. I don't know what's up with that. I've gained a little bit of weight (like 4lbs) and I'm really petite. I don't know if she's just getting old or mean. Lol

linzrunz

@sldp123 Ugh I'm sorry!  The guys have the easy part when it comes to baby making.  You have every right to be upset.

@izza2 I've always wondered about this.  I didn't think it needed a TW, but I've seen some people do it so I've included it.  I'm not on here to talk about my kids all the time, but sometimes I'll mention them.

My MBF is that my MIL has yet to apologize or even talk to me or DH.  It's been a week now (since she threw her adult tantrum and slapped me across the face).  DH went to see her on Thursday/Friday and she ignored him.  DS#1 has his drama performance this weekend we have tickets to go on Friday night.  With MIL.  We bought her tickets.  She missed his last play because she was "too busy" at work.  She owns her own business and basically didn't make it a priority.  She also scheduled jobs so that my FIL had to miss it too (he was not happy).  We found out 5 min before it started that they weren't coming.  I'm seriously wondering if she's even going to show up at all on Friday.  To top it off, DH is out of town until Friday night so he's missing that performance (we are going together on Saturday) and I'll have to see his mom if she does go.  At least my mom is coming up and going with me that night, so I'll have some backup.

And by the way, my mom is flying all the way up here just to see his play and would have come up for the last performance if she hadn't had some other scheduling conflicts outside of her control.  Whenever she has extra money, she is always thinking of something she can do for her kids or her grandkids.  She's seriously the most selfless person I've ever met.  My MIL, however, lives in the same small town we do and hardly ever makes it to our stuff.

felix08

ugh, @sldp123, I would be so pissed, too. Like you said, you're still covered with -1, but it's the principle! We do SO much for the TTC process, the least our SOs can do is happily donate the sperm, ha! I'm not ashamed to admit that there have been many FW nights that I volunteer to be on top and do all the work, lol.
@izza2 I agree, ha. It's actually much more of a trigger to see the unnecessary TW than simply reading about someone's child.
@sarah0985 that is so frustrating about your H's family. I hope that they don't get pissed at you guys for not driving down when you're in Chicago because I think that would about put me over the edge.
@thj101 WTF! Ok, so I can maybe understand how sometimes people mistakenly assume someone is pregnant (although I really believe that no comments should be made unless it is a known fact), but why the hell would he continue on after you corrected him!?
@linzrunz I still can't believe your MIL did that do you and am in further disbelief that she has yet to apologize.

My MBF is that I have been doing really well with giving up coffee for TTC until this morning when H accidentally left his full thermos on the counter when he left for work. I obviously couldn't let good coffee go to waste, so I, of course, consumed every last drop. So, really, this is not a MBF at all becuase it was the best thing that could have happened to me this morning, ha.

My REAL MBF is parents who have no apparent regard for their child's education or respect for my colleagues and my time as educators. I work in special education and 'tis the season for IEPs. SO many parents blatantly skip their child's annual meeting and then expect us to find a different time to meet which is no easy task this time of year.

loveinak

@20T Preach. GIF is spot-on.

MelissaM090

I have a really minor, inconsequential first-world-problem type MBF.

I am sympathetic to the fact that e-readers have probably caused tangible book sales to decrease. If an author (or whoever is selling a book) wants to charge the same as a physical copy of a book (or close to the same amount) for a digital copy, then okay, I get it.

But WHY OH WHY would the Kindle edition of a new book be MORE MONEY than the brand-new paperback on Amazon? There's no printing costs! I don't mind making sure an author gets paid for their hard work but there's no paper! there's no printing! there's no shipping costs! no trees had to die! Why is it MORE MONEY? 

Aurora1973

I didn't think I had an MBF, but I do.  And it's kind of a petty one, but I DGAF.  When you work in an office that has a water cooler that we all pay for, we are also all responsible to maintain it.  That means changing the GD water bottle when you use the last of it.  Seriously.  It should be changed when the bottle drains so that what's left in the cooler is still cold for the next person.  But this morning someone let it fully run dry.  I know, it's heavy, and not all women are as strong as I am.  Ask for help, FFS!

Hm, I may be PMSing just a little

sldp123

@Lecool @sarah0985 @mrsdaddario @MamaMunn @thj101 @linzrunz @felix08 thanks for the support ladies! I feel like a jerk because the dude had a migraine and inside I’m just like IDGAF. But if the roles were reversed and I wasn’t feeling well, I would still do what needed to be done. Does he think I WANT to have sex all the time during FW? No, no I do not.

@sarah0985 that situation with your husband’s family would irritate me, too. I can’t believe they would leave after your wedding without even telling their own son!

@mrsdaddario I’m sorry, that sounds so frustrating and I can almost hear your thought process because I do the same thing every cycle. Should I do this or this, but if this happens, then maybe I should do this. It’s exhausting. FWIW, if it were me I would probably wait until the RE appointment to do anything, and at least to see what their plan is.

@thj101 wow, I’m so sorry that waiter said that to you. Most normal people would know better, or at the very least, know to drop it after the first time they were corrected. WTF!

@linzrunz I was married before, and your MIL sounds like my ex-MIL. I mean not that she ever used physical violence, that’s just ridiculous. But she lived a few minutes away and never made much of an effort to get to any of DS’s activities. Still doesn’t. .  But if you asked her, she would probably tell you how DS is her whole world. Meanwhile my parents are at pretty much every practice, game, school function, etc. and they are awesome grandparents so I’m so thankful for that.

wintersong

izza2 said:

I get irrationally aggravated when people use TWs for their children and tend to just stop reading threads when I see it because it's so aggravating to me.
We don't need TWs for children. Seriously, stop.

I agree...I only do it because it is the convention. But my family is my life, I feel like I have to Tw every thread!

MamaCoffin

THE BUMP ADS HAVE INFILTRATED MOBILE! I repeat, THE BUMP ADS HAVE INFILTRATED MOBILE. 

mrsdaddario

@sldp123 Thanks for the advice! After much thought throughout the day so far I think that's exactly what I am going to do. Nothing until the RE's visit! 

clover28

My MBF is that I am mobile bumping and a pop up just attacked me asking me questions about my costco membership.  WTF BUMP?

Also, its CD1 for me and I am a weepy mess.  I am also irrationally angry about something I shouldnt be that angry about.

virginiaham

They must have read our comments that they weren't showing up in mobile and therefore mobile is (WAS) still safe.  @BumpAdmin @BumpTara @BumpCaitlincan you please (or petition the powers that be to) AT LEAST screen which ads are forced on us here?  Ads like "Just for Moms and Babies" in the middle of the TTGP/TTCAL/Loss boards really go against the sympathy and support TB is saying it has for loss moms, let alone those who are having trouble trying to conceive.

eta more accurate wording

oldersis

@izza2 you really nicely pointed out to me that the benched thread doesn't need a tw for children. They were all over other threads when I was lurking - so I think new posters just assume we need them when we see them so much and it becomes a vicious cycle.

My MBF is that CD 1-4 were no big deal but now on CD 5 it is like that gif from The Shining. Thanks for nothing, uterus.

izza2

Yeah, tws for kids being mentioned only started with new members. We voted months ago on what needed a tw, and kids was not one that needed a tw.

Dilynne

My MBF is spot audits by the law profession's governing board. They show up at your office, demand band reconciliations, bank statements, trust listings, trust ledgers, files, the works and then just go to town.

They just showed up and can spend anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks here, every day.

I like that they audit and keep everyone honest, I don't like that they just show up. My boss isn't even here.

QueenSunscreen

Ugh. The iPhone app just updated. And it's ugly. And there are ads. *sigh*



And I'm mad at hubster. I was turned down last night and again this morning when he knows full well that I haven't ovulated yet - pretty sure it's happening today - making our best timing -3.  He just doesn't get why I'm upset. I have three baby showers and mothers day to get through in the next month and the hope that something could possibly be growing in my uterus was getting me over my dread of said events. *SIGH* All the sighs. 

Hugs to anyone who needs it today with all the MBF BS in our lives. 

furbabymom2007

jenmlangtake2 said:

THE BUMP ADS HAVE INFILTRATED MOBILE! I repeat, THE BUMP ADS HAVE INFILTRATED MOBILE. 

I know!!!  It's not just bump, they are in the buzzfeed app too!!

MonaLisaRalphio

My MBF is pretty petty but I'm still irritated about it.  DH and I love to go to concerts together - it's kind of our thing.  We even met at a concert!  But I do not like going out late... pretty much ever anymore.  I can usually suck it up on the weekends, and I'll even put in the occasional later weeknight (like, I can do Thursdays!).  But DH bought tickets for a concert TONIGHT.  Yo.  It is a Monday.  I have two ten-hour workdays in a row ahead of me.  I am PMSing like crazy.  I do NOT want to go stand around in a concert venue until midnight.  I want to go to bed now, and it's not even 5pm!

MelissaM090

What the hell is with the ads on mobile! Mobile Bump already sucks! Not having ads was it's only saving grace!

And thanks for the 'Resources for Moms & Babies!' ad. I'm not a mom, but thanks anyway.

AliciaGoose

MelissaM090 said:

What the hell is with the ads on mobile! Mobile Bump already sucks! Not having ads was it's only saving grace!

And thanks for the 'Resources for Moms & Babies!' ad. I'm not a mom, but thanks anyway.

I was just about to MBF this! So not cool. There are videos? And ads that are larger than the screen. And also I got redirected to a survey. It's actually ridiculous!

AliciaGoose

My MBF is my in laws. As most of ours are (I loved the MBF in law edition)! I went out with my SIL today to go wedding dress shopping and bridesmaid dress shopping for her wedding. Whenever I'm with her I get all of the info about how much sh*t my MIL talks about me and DH. Mostly me. My MIL has this ability to take something someone says and turn it around so it's way more dramatic than it started. For example my DH tried to set something up for me and my MIL to do something together one time so we could try to bond better. It didn't end up happening, but it was a thought he mentioned to her. Today my SIL told me that my MIL has been telling everyone that my DH is so devastated by my lack of relationship with her and it breaks her heart that her son has to deal with that but no matter how hard she tries she can't connect with me. WTF lady?! She's right, we don't have a good relationship. But my DH understands it. He's certainly not all torn up about it. He understands why it isn't good. And this is just one of those many reasons that's the case. Ugh I could literally fill a book with the remainder of the things that happened just today but they're basically all similar in nature. 

CoonMom

My MBF is DH. I have an infertility consultation next Monday. He was all on board until today. He wants to "really try" for a couple more months. I'm like WTF we have been! There isn't anything else we can do on our own.

2nd DH lied to me last night. He told me previous he's never "helped himself" ever. I don't recall how it got brought up but he beat around the bush last night until I got him to confess he does occasionally. I honestly don't care that he does; I'm just pissed he lied. I've been a little worried for him when he needs to get tested but now I'm not.

redheeler

Mobile bump won't let me post!! 

also the ads! those are driving me nuts!.

hunnybunny17

My B is that I can't edit the Newbie Guide anymore. The board consensuses and norms are a-changin' and there's nothing I can do about it!