Baby names and a mother who hates all your choices... — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Baby names and a mother who hates all your choices...

Hello Everyone--

The baby names my husband and I have decided on are

Rylan Thomas (boy)
Penelope Grey (girl)

We love the names, but the issue is my mother HATES them. I guess I just wanted everyone's opinion to see if the names are bad? Should we not name our future baby Rylan or Penelope? I do not understand my mothers hate for the names and I wanted unbiased opinions.

Thanks,
Peyton
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Re: Baby names and a mother who hates all your choices...

  • Thank you for your honest response. Grey is actually my great grandmothers maiden name, so it would be a family name.
    emilie250ewelk
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  • Names are subjective so you are going to get a range of opinions. I think the name choices are fine. I do agree that Rylan sounds more trendy, but that's ok. Maybe you and your husband weren't into any of the more traditional boys names. If you really love the names, I don't think you should let other people change your mind. I know that is way easier said than done. I guess this is the reason many people don't disclose their selected name until the baby has arrived and he/she has been named.
  • I don't have a problem with either name, but it's not my decision to make.
    In pregnancy, everyone is going to have an opinion on everything.  You go with the names YOU like, not what other people think.  
    When my sister told us what he daughter's name would be, we didn't love it.  But now that she's grown we can't imagine her with any other name.  
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    JessWannaEatEverythingkswiger06
  • Thank you so much for your response! I really appreciate it. Why are mothers and mothers in law so difficult sometimes...
    Kdaily4123
  • I'm pretty sure since you are the one giving birth to it then you and DH get to decide the name. Not your mother or mil. 
    splsmama2016YogaSandy
  • Rylan isn't my style, but the rest are fine.

    I guess it is time to shut your mother up by reminding her that she already had her shot at picking names, and there are only two people who's opinions matter when it comes to naming your child....yours and your husbands. The two people that made the baby. That's it. 
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  • Not my style names, but I like random nouns as names so...

    Your mother and MIL can both take a hike though. They don't get to name your baby and their opinions are irrelevant. When I tell people the names we chose I always start by saying "We have decided on names, but I'll only tell you if you understand these aren't up for a vote. These are the names we have chosen and they're set in stone..." My mom and MIL hate the names we picked too. So do a lot of people. I couldn't care less. DH and my baby! We name it what we like!
    oneliloaktree13
  • You have two options, you can keep the names and learn to accept that other people will feel differently than you, or you can change the names.

    That said, I'd at least figure out why  your mom hates them. 
  • It's your kid, your choice! Don't let your mom talk you out of it if you really like them. I think Penelope is cute. Rylan is not a name I am familiar with, and it sounds more like a girl's name to me (maybe because I know a girl named RaeLyn, and I just expect a boy to be Ryan?). I do think he'll get called Ryan a lot, but if you really like it, you do you!

    Married May 2014
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    fiscally3
  • I went to high school with a guy named Rylan and that was back in the 90s. Not my favorite name but not bad.

  • I like Penelope, but agree that Rylan sounds trendy and like it will be confused for similar names. I would have guessed it was a girl's name actually. If you are happy with them, imthen that's what you should use. We decide our names very early, but don't tell anyone until the baby is born because I don't want to hear people's opinions on them. Your mom may think she's doing you a favor and hoping you will change to something she thinks is better, not understanding that your heart is set on this name. If you and DH are sure, I would make it clear that it is the name and if she doesn't like it, she can keep it to herself from now on because it isn't changing.
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  • Exactly why we aren't telling family the name until she is born.
    Its nobody's decision but your own
    CantanteLiricaladylolly89
  • First, don't let your mother tell you what to name your child. Second, don't tell people your choices and ask their opinions. But... since you did... I agree with some of the other comments, Rylan just sounds made up, like it was supposed to me "Ryan." 
    whataboutscienceMissWaldorf
  • I'd tell your mother in law that when she pushes the kid out she can get a say in the name but until then she can shut the hell up. But I've been known to be really blunt. 
    I like Penelope but rylan isn't my favorite. In the end it's up to you though not anyone else :)
    stillcozyYogaSandy
  • I have a nephew named Ryland... So you could always try that? He doesn't have anyone confusing his name for anything else and we still call him "ry" as a nn... Just an option?
  • Honey as long as you and your husband are on the same page then hell with everybody else! IMO! I mean yeah sure everybodys going to have their own opnions and will with things through out entire pregnancy and after on your parenting some people just dont know when they are over stepping their boundaries or they just dont care. I know where you are comming from though just today my mom and I were talking about things I need for my baby who I just found out yestersday is a BOY!!!!! Well when she found out I was having a boy yesterday she said now you have to pick a name I was like I already have its Leland Zachary (C) last name well she kinda walked away and didnt say anything. Well like I said we were talking about Baby stuff this morning and she blurts out hell Im never going to be able to remember my grandsons name Im like mom its not that hard its Leland and she says I know what his name is. Well shes going to have to get over it!!!! Leland is my sons name and thats final!!!!! No ones approval needed!!!!! Thats me I an a FTM 36yrs old and single so from here on out its going to be all about Leland and I!!!!!!! Good luck with what you do decide everything will pan out just fine!!!!!
    lotsofsunshine
  • In my head I picture Raylan Givens from Justified. Which oddly enough was a name choice at one point. Like pp's have said, your baby your name choice.
    jonesl12tmk0325ErikandAfton
  • bbiutmcph said:
    Penelope is solid. Grey is a bit trendy and of course that's your middle name when I hear it being used right now but it's the middle so whatever.

    Rylan is trendy sounds made up and I don't think sounds very strong, 

    This,


    Also my mother HATED DDs name, and I told her she already had her kids, so not her choice. Now she claims she loves it and doesn't believe she actually said she hated it.

  • In my head I picture Raylan Givens from Justified. Which oddly enough was a name choice at one point. Like pp's have said, your baby your name choice.
    Me too!
    oneliloaktree13
  • I gonna be honest. I did not read all of the responses. So, if I'm repeating something, I'm sorry...
    Personally, I love the names. But, my opinion doesn't matter. And neither does your mother's.  Or any other person. It's your baby. You made it. You are birthing it. You are raising it. Name that kid what ever you want. 
    oneliloaktree13
  • After my MIL sent me an email of names she likes, I decided to STFU and not tell her any more names. I would suggest you do the same.

    LOVE Penelope, and actually really like Grey as a MN.

    Not a fan of Rylan, but I have heard worse. Do you like Ryan at all??

    cat fail animated GIF

  • I like your names! But that shouldn't matter. My mom has hated everything I have chosen too. Just tell them it will grow on them and if they don't like it too bad, it's not their kid!


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  • juliehollz13juliehollz13 member
    edited March 2016
    I could have write this post word for word (except different names).

    Our pick is Alexander.  My mom despites it.  Guess what we decided, to name OUR kid what WE want: Alexander.  I told my mom to get over it and that she got to pick her kids names. She still asked if Alex is it, and we say yes.  She then drops it.

    To be fair, I asked her directly why. Like an old BF, boss, bully..... nope. 
    @PugsandKisses :open_mouth: Alexander was my initial pick for a boy name as long as I can remember!! My bio dad's name is Alexander so just out of consideration for my mom (my dad left her pregnant and in college) I won't name a boy that but if it's a girl it's 100% Alexandra. LOVE LOVE LOVE both of those names. Alexander is such a strong classic name!

    Edited to add: *Sorry guys, didn't realize which board I was on. Just lurking, oops!*


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  • My friends little boy is rylan!!! Not made up, it's in many different baby books dating back to 2009 when my nephew Kade was born. 

    Your mother her had her chance to name her children. My MIL didn't care for our choice in names for baby girl, but she grew attached to it. Here's what you tell her...
    "While I appreciate your opinion on your future grandchilds name, mom, these are the names H and i have come to agree on. I highly doubt you'll care this much the second he/she is in your arms, and I'd appreciate it if you would stop telling me to change it. You had your chance, now it's my turn."
    I'm sorry but does nobody else find this a little funny? It was the "dating back to 2009." I mean, that's only 6-7 years ago.  Maybe it's because I live in a house that was built in 1872. I live in historic neighborhood so when people say "dating back to,"  it is almost always followed by a time long ago.
    Same, but I also live in a house that was built in 1880, so maybe we're biased.


    fiscally3
  • My friends little boy is rylan!!! Not made up, it's in many different baby books dating back to 2009 when my nephew Kade was born. 

    Your mother her had her chance to name her children. My MIL didn't care for our choice in names for baby girl, but she grew attached to it. Here's what you tell her...
    "While I appreciate your opinion on your future grandchilds name, mom, these are the names H and i have come to agree on. I highly doubt you'll care this much the second he/she is in your arms, and I'd appreciate it if you would stop telling me to change it. You had your chance, now it's my turn."
    I'm sorry but does nobody else find this a little funny? It was the "dating back to 2009." I mean, that's only 6-7 years ago.  Maybe it's because I live in a house that was built in 1872. I live in historic neighborhood so when people say "dating back to,"  it is almost always followed by a time long ago.
    When did Justified come on? Cause it was used on that show, the main dude/douchebro is named Raylyn.
    jonesl12
  • My friends little boy is rylan!!! Not made up, it's in many different baby books dating back to 2009 when my nephew Kade was born. 

    Your mother her had her chance to name her children. My MIL didn't care for our choice in names for baby girl, but she grew attached to it. Here's what you tell her...
    "While I appreciate your opinion on your future grandchilds name, mom, these are the names H and i have come to agree on. I highly doubt you'll care this much the second he/she is in your arms, and I'd appreciate it if you would stop telling me to change it. You had your chance, now it's my turn."
    I'm sorry but does nobody else find this a little funny? It was the "dating back to 2009." I mean, that's only 6-7 years ago.  Maybe it's because I live in a house that was built in 1872. I live in historic neighborhood so when people say "dating back to,"  it is almost always followed by a time long ago.
    Insert eye roll.... Clearly my choice of words was not the greatest. But the point was about the fact that "Rylan" is not a new and trendy name. You hear people saying things about "new age" names just as often as old names. If you don't like it, then you don't need to name your child that name. I also suggest not mentioning the name you pick until you're 100% sure of what it is. 

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  • This is why we don't tell people our name choices.  I remember telling a friend a name that I liked and I got a squished up nose and an eye roll.... Really ...it was KATE.   She was really in no position to judge anyone's name choices considering she named her child a word from the dictionary, not even a real name. 

    In the end, do whatever you want to do.  It's your baby! :)
  • jonesl12 said:
    In my head I picture Raylan Givens from Justified. Which oddly enough was a name choice at one point. Like pp's have said, your baby your name choice.
    Me too!
    Me three. I do really like that show and Timothy Olephant as an actor, so the name Raylan/Rylan kind of grew on me. I know at least one or two little ones that were named after hearing that in the show. 
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  • Our DD is named Penelope. I call her Penny. We did not tell anyone her name until she was born. No one has made a negative comment about her name and everyone we have come in contact with so far actually makes a nice comment about her name 
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