Thanks all. To people who asked about legal/liability. Supposedly yes they are liable. We're working with the same lawyer who is fighting the case for the other family as part of a deal where we allowed them to test for lead and use my sons medical record of lead in order to have evidence for their case and we get included in the case. Signing the no knowledge of lead when they did indeed have lots of knowledge of lots of lead is highly illegal as it is a legal binding document on file with the mortgage. The case is still up in the air as were attached to this other family and nothing has been decided. We could go ahead and get our own lawyer and start a new case which we may do. We're just kind of focusing on getting the house done and safe before the baby comes and for DS1. But once we're in, and I don't feel like I'll have a mental breakdown taking on one more thing, we'll more than likely start our own case as well even though they don't have any compensation
@alysemciver- that sounds like the worst nightmare. Do you have any recourse from the sellers???
They have 2 lawsuits besides ours that left them completely bankrupt of all money and property. The first one is the other family who they poisoned and the second is the husband is guilty of vehicular homocide which happened the month we closed.. Soooo we haven't decided what we're going to do yet. I don't want to spend 6 grand on a lawyer for nothing. We are looking into it though
I know I'm biased, but I feel like everyone should give all their money to a lawyer. xx
@alysemciver- that sounds like the worst nightmare. Do you have any recourse from the sellers???
They have 2 lawsuits besides ours that left them completely bankrupt of all money and property. The first one is the other family who they poisoned and the second is the husband is guilty of vehicular homocide which happened the month we closed.. Soooo we haven't decided what we're going to do yet. I don't want to spend 6 grand on a lawyer for nothing. We are looking into it though
I know I'm biased, but I feel like everyone should give all their money to a lawyer. xx
Haha trust me I would if I had it! We don't have a dime due to the extra 60 grand we had to take on 3 weeks after we got our mortgage and put the down payment on our house and all closing costs.
I would say asking about the general policy is the best way to go. Very veiled and allows for questions to be asked.
Also, tots.
Up until this moment, I have managed to not eat tots during my pregnancy, or really even during the past few years, but because of this picture, I literally just sent my hubby a text to pick me up a bag of tater tots, since he's otw to the grocery store! I shall make something that looks similar to this tomorrow night and eat them all!...thanks!
@alysemciver- that sounds like the worst nightmare. Do you have any recourse from the sellers???
They have 2 lawsuits besides ours that left them completely bankrupt of all money and property. The first one is the other family who they poisoned and the second is the husband is guilty of vehicular homocide which happened the month we closed.. Soooo we haven't decided what we're going to do yet. I don't want to spend 6 grand on a lawyer for nothing. We are looking into it though
I know I'm biased, but I feel like everyone should give all their money to a lawyer. xx
Haha trust me I would if I had it! We don't have a dime due to the extra 60 grand we had to take on 3 weeks after we got our mortgage and put the down payment on our house and all closing costs.
In all seriousness- I am really sorry to hear this. I hope that you get justice under the law, a remedy that you can live with and somehow, miraculously, you feel better during your pregnancy and when your new baby arrives.
It's easy for me to make little lawyer jokes, but I don't want to do it at your expense.
@alysemciver- that sounds like the worst nightmare. Do you have any recourse from the sellers???
They have 2 lawsuits besides ours that left them completely bankrupt of all money and property. The first one is the other family who they poisoned and the second is the husband is guilty of vehicular homocide which happened the month we closed.. Soooo we haven't decided what we're going to do yet. I don't want to spend 6 grand on a lawyer for nothing. We are looking into it though
I know I'm biased, but I feel like everyone should give all their money to a lawyer. xx
Haha trust me I would if I had it! We don't have a dime due to the extra 60 grand we had to take on 3 weeks after we got our mortgage and put the down payment on our house and all closing costs.
In all seriousness- I am really sorry to hear this. I hope that you get justice under the law, a remedy that you can live with and somehow, miraculously, you feel better during your pregnancy and when your new baby arrives.
It's easy for me to make little lawyer jokes, but I don't want to do it at your expense.
Haha no worries, I knew it was in good fun! It would take a lot more than that to offend me! I hope so too, we'll get there in time
Ughhh now I want tots sooo bad. I was a bit confused by the titty-tot gif because I was like "mmmmm tots" but then felt weird about it haha. That paired with all the weird pregnancy dreams I have been having...
For the record, both my parents smoked in our house and in the cars with the windows rolled up (and us kids inside). I was always breathing in smoke and always smelled like smoke. It was an awful decision by my parents and honestly it still pisses me off to this day. My child deserves better (and I think I did, too).
Married July 2014 DD born June 2016 Second due August 2020 (team green!)
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kids rofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kids rofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kids rofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
You clearly think we're all obnoxious children based on your comments here and on the other thread where you implied we were all awful people for complaining about things that have been said/done to us due to being pregnant.
Honest question, why do you keep commenting here if you think we're all juvenile obnoxious people who you're glad you aren't in your family/friends with irl?
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kids rofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kidsrofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
You clearly think we're all obnoxious children based on your comments here and on the other thread where you implied we were all awful people for complaining about things that have been said/done to us due to being pregnant.
Honest question, why do you keep commenting here if you think we're all juvenile obnoxious people who you're glad you aren't in your family/friends with irl?
Well, at least we are well read children. GO SCIENCE! And yes, the internet does run "all day". It can be a hard concept to understand- but it's similar to when you close your eyes, but other people can still see you.
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kids rofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
@mamanicoleof3 I think OP had most issues answered with some good and varied responses before the ... Science vacuum. @mrsallikat have a solid response about how to follow up politely to seek more info without targeted the director specifically and there were other responses about good questions on smoke breaks.
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kids rofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kidsrofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
You clearly think we're all obnoxious children based on your comments here and on the other thread where you implied we were all awful people for complaining about things that have been said/done to us due to being pregnant.
Honest question, why do you keep commenting here if you think we're all juvenile obnoxious people who you're glad you aren't in your family/friends with irl?
Well, at least we are well read children. GO SCIENCE! And yes, the internet does run "all day". It can be a hard concept to understand- but it's similar to when you close your eyes, but other people can still see you.
*Also, it's "you're cracking jokes" not "your".
Wait, you mean when you close the internet window it doesn't turn off the internet for everyone else? Mind.blown.
Yeah I'm going to ask the day care the follow up questions suggested. I think I'm just nervous because I think it's going to come off as confrontational, but I obviously want to do what's best for baby. I have to get over my confrontational fear!
Yeah I'm going to ask the day care the follow up questions suggested. I think I'm just nervous because I think it's going to come off as confrontational, but I obviously want to do what's best for baby. I have to get over my confrontational fear!
That's what it all comes down to, doing what's best for your child. Best of luck
@Starlight32 I would just go prepared with a list of questions and just throw that one in the middle. She will just think you're covering your bases on concerning subjects to you. She probably won't even pick up on the fact that you smelled smoke on her. I don't think it will be end up as obvious as you think, so just ask a bunch of stuff!
I definitely wouldn't take mine there. I have asthma, hereditary, and smoke is the worst thing I can encounter. I couldn't imagine having my child even remotely smelling like smoke when coming home from daycare. Of employees are allowed to smoke, you can almost guarantee that will happen
HOW DID I MISS THIS WHOLE THREAD I COULD HAVE BEEN GIFING ALL DAY INSTEAD OF DOING MY JOB LIKE A CHUMP.
Also, my dad has smoked for 50 years and he doesn't have any tobacco-related cancers at all, and he smoked around us and I don't have asthma, and also we had unsecured guns around the house and probably drank things with that orange poison dye in them. And we're fine! My anecdote wins!
All day? ROFL... and your crackin jokes about my POV on GMO's, sugar substitutes, and processed food? Who has time for that? Cancer is not a household name because of smoking I assure you that ...
I find it hard to understand that people could believe this. From Cancer.gov: "Smoking is a leading cause of cancer and death from cancer. It causes cancers of the lung, esophagus, larynx, mouth, throat, kidney, bladder, liver, pancreas, stomach, cervix, colon, and rectum, as well as acute myeloid leukemia."
Not that personal anecdotes mean anything, but I had two grandparents die from cancer caused by smoking. There is a scientifically proven link there. But I guess science doesn't matter.
@starlight32 I think it is a great idea to ask the smoking related questions along with other questions. Good luck!
Ok so I went off the path this morning because I'm crazy. All the advice about sticking the smoking policy in with other questions was wonderful though.
I called them this morning. I said we talked to a pediatrician yesterday and the doctor warned us about the dangers of third hand smoke and care givers. I asked directly about the smoking. She said none of the infant teachers smoke. She said one has in the past but they have a policy that they have to wash their hands, change jacket, etc after lunch break. She did say she smokes but she doesn't work with the infants very much and she is careful when she does to make sure the smell is off her. It was an awkward conversation but she seemed overall friendly about it. I hope she understood my question and answered honestly though. I don't think she's lying, but third hand smoke is a relatively new concept (I think) so I hope she knew what I was referring to when I asked her about the smoking policy (ie it's not just the smell, it's the crap that stays on you after smoking).
I'm not sure if calling made me feel any better about it though. I might just end up not going back to work after baby is born. I'm going to call another daycare today and see how the wait list is looking now (we are like 27 on the wait list so probably still no openings). There is also a home daycare that looked decent, but I'm so skeptical about those because there is less oversight. I might call them today too just for the heck of it.
Ok so I went off the path this morning because I'm crazy. All the advice about sticking the smoking policy in with other questions was wonderful though.
I called them this morning. I said we talked to a pediatrician yesterday and the doctor warned us about the dangers of third hand smoke and care givers. I asked directly about the smoking. She said none of the infant teachers smoke. She said one has in the past but they have a policy that they have to wash their hands, change jacket, etc after lunch break. She did say she smokes but she doesn't work with the infants very much and she is careful when she does to make sure the smell is off her. It was an awkward conversation but she seemed overall friendly about it. I hope she understood my question and answered honestly though. I don't think she's lying, but third hand smoke is a relatively new concept (I think) so I hope she knew what I was referring to when I asked her about the smoking policy (ie it's not just the smell, it's the crap that stays on you after smoking).
I'm not sure if calling made me feel any better about it though. I might just end up not going back to work after baby is born. I'm going to call another daycare today and see how the wait list is looking now (we are like 27 on the wait list so probably still no openings). There is also a home daycare that looked decent, but I'm so skeptical about those because there is less oversight. I might call them today too just for the heck of it.
I'm glad you called and expressed your concerns. It sounds like you have some potential options but are (rightfully!) disappointed because if not for this one thing, this sounds like some place you'd feel very comfortable sending your baby to. I believe it comes down to your personal tolerance for risk. I know that I could not do it. But if you think the risk is low enough and are ok with you, that is ok too. Good luck making your decision!
Also, I know here at least, the daycare waitlists can move quicker than you think because people put their names on several waitlists and don't update. So when the center has an opening, they will go through quite a few people before getting one to fill the spot.
@Starlight32 I would ask right off the bat of smoking policies before going on anymore waiting lists or touring since it's a deal breaker for you. It is nice to know though that the actual infant teachers do not smoke at this place. Unfortunately, smoking cigarettes is legal and a lot of people still partake (at least it seems in FL). It's gross & I'm sorry you're having to deal with this!!!
I actually never thought smoking would be an issue before I smelled the smoke on her during the tour. I don't know very many people who smoke so I'm naive about it. Smoking is banned where I work so I'm lucky enough to not smell it during the work day (and I guess if someone leaves the campus to smoke, they do a good job to not smell like it when they come back).
@Emztron500 Could you weigh in here about your experience with in-home daycare? Seems like I remember you having nothing but positive things to say about it. Also, just in case you haven't read up, this is a gem of a thread...
Holy shit @dennyandlee this thread really went off the rails since I read it yesterday morning, thanks for looping me back in I do indeed have experience with in-home daycare but to be honest it might not be reassuring. I was unable to find a reasonably nice daycare anywhere near what I could afford to pay for childcare (living downtown in a large city, all the ones nearby are very fancy corporate daycares that only the employees of partnered companies who get most of it paid for by work can really afford). So I went with an in-home daycare...which we just call dayhomes here. Here at least there are regulated ones that have oversight and specific standards from an agency, as well as private ones which do not. The agency ones are about $200 more per month I've found. I couldn't find one through an agency that was taking infants and was reasonably convenient so I went with private. The one I chose was run by a woman with a daughter the same age as mine who had worked in a daycare prior to having her child and was able to produce childcare certifications, first aid certifications, and criminal record checks for herself and her husband, as well as personal references from other parents. I felt really good about it but unfortunately it really did not work out. Her care style was just very cold and removed and she wasn't very touchy-feely with the kids. My daughter started there at 11 months and when I finally had to pull her out 7 months later it was because she'd been pulling her hair out from stress every day while she was left to cry in a playpen at "nap time". Most of the other kids we saw there seemed to be sad at first and then adjust pretty quickly but my poor kid just got more and more stressed and upset every day I took her there. It was awful.
At that point I was ready to pull her from care completely but I decided to talk to a few more dayhomes. The first one I went and saw was like night and day. She was a warm bubbly person who clearly LOVED kids and had a large playroom and yard for the kids to play in. When we went to check it out, my daughter didn't want to leave. After all her trouble with the old place and issues that had arisen out of that stress (severe separation anxiety, panic every time we went to anybody's home thinking I was going to leave her there, etc) I was shocked to see that after the first week she didn't even get sad when I dropped her off. So now I absolutely love our situation and she's really been thriving since the switch and it's a huge steal of a deal for the cost.
So I guess what it boils down to is, aside from all the right qualifications and filling a checklist, if you're going with an in-home place where it's just one person caring for your child all the time, just make sure that it's the right person. Which is hard to do. But I think it might be even harder to do in a daycare setting.
I called the wait list place. They have an opening. I visited and did the registration/paid registration fee. We have a spot there held for us. I'm so glad we actually have options now. It's still close to work and I could still visit her during lunch if I wanted. It seemed a bit more laid back than the smoky place from the tour, which I'm not sure if I liked (hard to say I guess, we really need to visit both places back to back when it gets closer), however, this place is less expensive and has a part time option. We plan on sending her only three days per week at smoky place even though we would have to pay full time, so paying part time for part time is a huge plus.
Re: Daycare dilemma
nebulizer and meds!
lead and use my sons medical record of lead in order to have evidence for their case and we get included in the case. Signing the no knowledge of lead when they did indeed have lots of knowledge of lots of lead is highly illegal as it is a legal binding document on file with the mortgage. The case is still up in the air as were attached to this other family and nothing has been decided. We could go ahead and get our own lawyer and start a new case which we may do. We're just kind of focusing on getting the house done and safe before the baby comes and for DS1. But once we're in, and I don't feel like I'll have a mental breakdown taking on one more thing, we'll more than likely start our own case as well even though they don't have any compensation
xx
Oh. And I wanted to add this in....
purely because they have cool mustaches.
It's easy for me to make little lawyer jokes, but I don't want to do it at your expense.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
For the record, both my parents smoked in our house and in the cars with the windows rolled up (and us kids inside). I was always breathing in smoke and always smelled like smoke. It was an awful decision by my parents and honestly it still pisses me off to this day. My child deserves better (and I think I did, too).
DD born June 2016
Second due August 2020 (team green!)
OP I hope you find what you need... I just gave my opinion and unfortunately my comment on GMO's and processed foods or fake sugar over ran the whole thing. I gave some examples of things I have seen occur in a large chain and with what I have experienced, personally I believe they would outweigh whether or not someone smelled like smoke...
You'll be a great mom...
I'm not even gonna bother reading through the previous obnoxious posts... Like a bunch of little kids rofl... all day?... 4 pages?... ha ha
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Honest question, why do you keep commenting here if you think we're all juvenile obnoxious people who you're glad you aren't in your family/friends with irl?
SaveSave
And yes, the internet does run "all day". It can be a hard concept to understand- but it's similar to when you close your eyes, but other people can still see you.
*Also, it's "you're cracking jokes" not "your".
ETA: ROFL
PS...
@mamanicoleof3 I think OP had most issues answered with some good and varied responses before the ... Science vacuum. @mrsallikat have a solid response about how to follow up politely to seek more info without targeted the director specifically and there were other responses about good questions on smoke breaks.
Also, my dad has smoked for 50 years and he doesn't have any tobacco-related cancers at all, and he smoked around us and I don't have asthma, and also we had unsecured guns around the house and probably drank things with that orange poison dye in them. And we're fine! My anecdote wins!
Not that personal anecdotes mean anything, but I had two grandparents die from cancer caused by smoking. There is a scientifically proven link there. But I guess science doesn't matter.
@starlight32 I think it is a great idea to ask the smoking related questions along with other questions. Good luck!
I called them this morning. I said we talked to a pediatrician yesterday and the doctor warned us about the dangers of third hand smoke and care givers. I asked directly about the smoking. She said none of the infant teachers smoke. She said one has in the past but they have a policy that they have to wash their hands, change jacket, etc after lunch break. She did say she smokes but she doesn't work with the infants very much and she is careful when she does to make sure the smell is off her. It was an awkward conversation but she seemed overall friendly about it. I hope she understood my question and answered honestly though. I don't think she's lying, but third hand smoke is a relatively new concept (I think) so I hope she knew what I was referring to when I asked her about the smoking policy (ie it's not just the smell, it's the crap that stays on you after smoking).
I'm not sure if calling made me feel any better about it though. I might just end up not going back to work after baby is born. I'm going to call another daycare today and see how the wait list is looking now (we are like 27 on the wait list so probably still no openings). There is also a home daycare that looked decent, but I'm so skeptical about those because there is less oversight. I might call them today too just for the heck of it.
Also, I know here at least, the daycare waitlists can move quicker than you think because people put their names on several waitlists and don't update. So when the center has an opening, they will go through quite a few people before getting one to fill the spot.
I do indeed have experience with in-home daycare but to be honest it might not be reassuring. I was unable to find a reasonably nice daycare anywhere near what I could afford to pay for childcare (living downtown in a large city, all the ones nearby are very fancy corporate daycares that only the employees of partnered companies who get most of it paid for by work can really afford). So I went with an in-home daycare...which we just call dayhomes here. Here at least there are regulated ones that have oversight and specific standards from an agency, as well as private ones which do not. The agency ones are about $200 more per month I've found. I couldn't find one through an agency that was taking infants and was reasonably convenient so I went with private. The one I chose was run by a woman with a daughter the same age as mine who had worked in a daycare prior to having her child and was able to produce childcare certifications, first aid certifications, and criminal record checks for herself and her husband, as well as personal references from other parents. I felt really good about it but unfortunately it really did not work out. Her care style was just very cold and removed and she wasn't very touchy-feely with the kids. My daughter started there at 11 months and when I finally had to pull her out 7 months later it was because she'd been pulling her hair out from stress every day while she was left to cry in a playpen at "nap time". Most of the other kids we saw there seemed to be sad at first and then adjust pretty quickly but my poor kid just got more and more stressed and upset every day I took her there. It was awful.
At that point I was ready to pull her from care completely but I decided to talk to a few more dayhomes. The first one I went and saw was like night and day. She was a warm bubbly person who clearly LOVED kids and had a large playroom and yard for the kids to play in. When we went to check it out, my daughter didn't want to leave. After all her trouble with the old place and issues that had arisen out of that stress (severe separation anxiety, panic every time we went to anybody's home thinking I was going to leave her there, etc) I was shocked to see that after the first week she didn't even get sad when I dropped her off. So now I absolutely love our situation and she's really been thriving since the switch and it's a huge steal of a deal for the cost.
So I guess what it boils down to is, aside from all the right qualifications and filling a checklist, if you're going with an in-home place where it's just one person caring for your child all the time, just make sure that it's the right person. Which is hard to do. But I think it might be even harder to do in a daycare setting.
I called the wait list place. They have an opening. I visited and did the registration/paid registration fee. We have a spot there held for us. I'm so glad we actually have options now. It's still close to work and I could still visit her during lunch if I wanted. It seemed a bit more laid back than the smoky place from the tour, which I'm not sure if I liked (hard to say I guess, we really need to visit both places back to back when it gets closer), however, this place is less expensive and has a part time option. We plan on sending her only three days per week at smoky place even though we would have to pay full time, so paying part time for part time is a huge plus.