I've mentioned before that I'm planning to sleep in the guest room for a while after DD is born because DH is a light sleeper and doesn't want the baby in our room. I was planning to transition back to our room at some point with a monitor, hopefully within three months. I was sad about the idea of sleeping apart, but it seemed like it would probably help for a while.
Well...there's been a new development and I'm heartsick over it. I have to get up once a night to pee, thanks to the pregnancy and it wakes DH up and he can't fall back to sleep. He also doesn't like that I roll over even more than usual, trying to get comfortable. He said he can't handle it anymore and wants me to move to the baby's room (aka our guest room) for the rest of the pregnancy (5 more months). He also won't be able to deal with me using a monitor and getting up to feed DD, so he wants me to stay here until she sleeps through the night. So in total, we're looking at separate bedrooms for at least a year. (More if DD takes longer and also if we have second child.) Tonight is my second night in the guest room and I'm devastated. (And writing about it in the middle of the night because I can't sleep.) I told him how sad I am about this and he suggested that I can sleep in our bedroom on weekends. I'm grateful for that, I guess, but it isn't enough. I hate sleeping without him, I hate that he prefers sleeping without me, and I hate the thought that I'll get used to this and probably sleep better without him. I'm scared how this will affect our relationship. Anyone can have sex, but sleeping together (and preferring it that way) gives a couple that special one-ness. It's the time that I feel closest to him.
I hate this. I hate it so much.
TTC#1 since Jan 2015
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
BFP 11/18/15 • DD born at 41 weeks (age 37/38)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
BFP 5/11/19 • Fraternal twins • MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w) • Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)