@CarrieandRoy what works for you and DH doesn't have to work for anyone else and they don't need to understand it. I know my brother told his wife if she wanted kids he would not change one diaper or get up to help at night etc and he has held up his end of the deal. Kids stress him out in fact, he broke out in shingles after finding out they were expecting. He loves his son and they are having a second now but again, on his terms. It wouldn't work for me or for others but again, it's their arrangement and his wife agreed prior to conceiving.
I don't think it sends up red flag, I think to each their own and what works for your family dynamic is just that, Your family dynamic and no one else's. I also know you don't know how DH will act until that baby arrives.
Everything that Goldsgirl said You're the only one who can judge whether or not this situation is a problem for your family and address it appropriately. We're just here to give advice when you ask!
Me: 40 DH: 43 Married 5/30/15 TTC #1 June 2015 BFP #1 9/28/15, EDD 6/10/16. DS born 5/23/16! TTC #2 May 2017 BFP #2 m/c 11/18/17 5w5d BFP #3 12/17/17 EDD 8/25/18. It's a boy!
@CarrieandRoy I am glad to see you guys are working things out and willing to experiment with different arrangements: it is hard sometimes to do that, but it really is a testament to the strength of your love and the bond of your relationship
Thanks @Goldsgirl9@redheadbride15 and @lillebowski23 . No husband is perfect. No wife, either, for that matter. It took 14 years of dating to find someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. My opinion of him is the only one that matters.
TTC#1 since Jan 2015 BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36) BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
BFP 11/18/15 • DD born at 41 weeks (age 37/38)
TTC#2 since May 2017 BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39) BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40) 9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied) RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy. BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
BFP 5/11/19 • Fraternal twins • MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w) • Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)
Way to go@carrieandroy, do what is best for you and your relationship. When I first read your post I felt so bad for you but after reading this thread for a couple of weeks, I think you are an extremely strong person and would be able to withstand any difficulties that come your way.
@CarrieandRoy you're amazing. I adore you, obvs...#obvs. I just want to say that I not only admire you for reaching out on this topic, but also for graciously accepting some of the less than tactful responses you've received. Yikes. You got this lil' momma. Xo
Re: Sleeping arrangements
I don't think it sends up red flag, I think to each their own and what works for your family dynamic is just that, Your family dynamic and no one else's. I also know you don't know how DH will act until that baby arrives.
Married 5/30/15
TTC #1 June 2015
BFP #1 9/28/15, EDD 6/10/16. DS born 5/23/16!
TTC #2 May 2017
BFP #2 m/c 11/18/17 5w5d
BFP #3 12/17/17 EDD 8/25/18. It's a boy!
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
I just want to say that I not only admire you for reaching out on this topic, but also for graciously accepting some of the less than tactful responses you've received.
Yikes.
You got this lil' momma. Xo