@Nerdchild I live across the street from a middle school and every single day I watch parents speed down my street, run the stop sign, only to pull up in front of the school to pick up their kids. I want to pop their tires pretty much every day.
@PhoebeJune1984 your current nanny kids behavior sounds like my nephew. His parents and grandparents give him whatever he wants just to shut up. And they try to reason with him- he's too young for that. He's totally 100% in control.
My mom swatted my butt twice in my whole life, one of which I don't even remember, the other was for running into the street after stepping on a bee. I don't remember the swat, I remember the bee sting. My mom never yelled when I was little (she did in my teens, but teenagers are assholes), but I remember her having the ability to look at me in such a way that made me believe I was about to burst into flames. @TattoosandLace I feel you on hearing 'I'm disappointed in you' being hands down the most terrifying thing I experienced in childhood. I still live in fear of disappointing my mom, and I think that's a good thing.
My UO: When I see people with a car full of school aged kids speeding in a school zone, I fantasize about pulling them from their car and beating them in front of their children. Just because your spawn is safe in your 2 ton death machine doesn't give you license to mow down someone else's kid because you are in a hurry.
This was my Dad. If we were going to be spanked it was always my mom. She didn't spank much but occasionally she would if we really pushed her. My dad never once spanked us or even threatened to, but when he got mad there was something about his face and voice that was terrifying haha. He didn't even yell, his voice got really low and he would lean in close and say whatever it was he had to say, and we would immediately get in line.
@blissylissy86 and I'm the opposite I'm like oh I should add that so I can get a discount on it later and then I suddenly have 79 things registered for at Target. Heh. Well if they really want to buy me a $200 breast pump I'll allow it.
@jlgriff11 I know I should be geeked about it, but whatever you register for is not enough. Someone was telling me that for every guest invited to a shower, I should have 3-5 registry items! That is A LOT of shit. I am very grateful that people want to buy me and the baby things, but it is so hard figuring out where to put anything. We are staying in our itty bitty one bedroom for the next while, as we are looking for houses.
I had a unibrow as a child and when people see my baby/kid pictures they ask why I look pissed all the time. Yeah.... those are just my eyebrows. Shave away, shave away
Parenting is hard. My DS and DD are so different and I have a hard time. We spank but with DS taking away toys, games, ect work better. DD gets her feelings hurt if you yell at her, so that works if she bites, hits, etc. I feel like I'm failing in the discipline area but people always tell me how well behaved the kids are.
@jlgriff11 my nieces are terrors too. My SIL and BIL parent differently and we hate being around them. My MIL also thinks they are angels. We just limit contact with them. I don't want my kids to act like theirs. DS is also old enough to explain why that behavior is not allowed in our house. Maybe when you see your nephew doing something he shouldn't, nicely tell him not to do that. I've had to get on my nieces for being mean to DS and DD. Their mom won't discipline them, so I do. Once my niece was over and being mean to DS. MIL was there but will always side with niece. So I stepped in and told her to stop being mean to DS. MIL ended up taking her and leaving becaus "they weren't getting along" I have no problem protecting MY children from other kids. I don't care who they are. You won't be mean and disrespectful to me.
Edit: also it depends on your relationship with BIL and SIL. We don't agree with mine and have talked about the kids' behavior and they weren't interested in trying to fix it. So we step in. With my best friend, if we are together we both correct the other ones kids. And the same would go for my sister. We are close enough that they are allowed to discipline my kids.
What would you STM's and TTM's do then in this situation because I'm bound and determined not to raise my boys like this and I'm not really sure how to go about preventing it.
My nephew Maddox is going to be two this month. He is adorable, precious, fun, and an absolute holy terror. He growls, spits, bites, hits, bangs his head, screams- he won't eat regularly, he throws things, he kicks, he's just awful. The biting and growling happens when he pretends he's a dinosaur so I can understand that he's not really necessarily being "mean" all the time, but sometimes he does it just for spite.
I have to think it has to do with his home life. My sister-in-law (to be) obviously loves him and cares for him very much- but she goes to school and does not have a regular schedule- she's in school part time and works as a waitress part time. My brother is a tattoo artist and works late nights and also has a very irregular schedule. Maddox has never taken naps on a schedule, never eats on a schedule, is rarely in bed before 10, sleeps in because dad or mom sleeps in.
His mom has had some really rough times when he was very little- and she's only 23. Her mom died when she was pregnant from cancer- her dad died when Maddox was a baby of liver failure (alcoholic), leaving her to raise both her son and her little (16 year old) sister. Then last Easter her older sister died from overdose. So you can imagine the kind of life she's had- lots of stress. Their house (that her parents left in major debt) is falling down around their ears and I know she's super stressed about it. The room they had has black mold so all three of them are sleeping on the couch. So I get it- he's not in a place that is the most stable and that must be part of the reason for his behavior, right? He's well-loved, he's fed when he decides to eat- he's got clean clothes and a roof over his house- it's not really
She won't "punish" him. Never so much as a swat on the butt. She puts him in time-out in another room and he screams for five minutes and then she goes and gets him. But the behavior doesn't change. Is the cause really his schedule and his lack of structure? Her lack of discipline beyond "Don't do that Maddox, it's not nice."? How do I keep his behavior from rubbing off on my kids? He's only two, is it just a phase? I know the terrible two thing but bah.
Adam and I are the same when it comes to discipline. Swats when needed. Explanation. Structure. Consistency. We hope that's enough to make our kids not turn into dragons. Makes me nervous!
Offside: I did get a ping pong paddle broken over my ass once. Heh.
SORRY ABOUT THE WORD VOMIT OK
I think there are bigger problems here than structure, and i feel really bad for this kid. My daughter is not on a strict schedule at all and she's fine, because we have a routine/stability. Honestly he sounds like he wants attention...his parents work odd hours and he knows he will get attention when he acts out. Combine that with the traditional "terrible twos" and it's a disaster. Consistency is key.
Since we're on the subject of eyebrows - DH has thick, bushy eyebrows and the other night he had a nightmare that our baby came out with giant caterpillar eyebrows and he was totally horrified by his own baby. Which I thought was hilarious. That's all!
Parenting is hard. My DS and DD are so different and I have a hard time. We spank but with DS taking away toys, games, ect work better. DD gets her feelings hurt if you yell at her, so that works if she bites, hits, etc. I feel like I'm failing in the discipline area but people always tell me how well behaved the kids are.
@jlgriff11 my nieces are terrors too. My SIL and BIL parent differently and we hate being around them. My MIL also thinks they are angels. We just limit contact with them. I don't want my kids to act like theirs. DS is also old enough to explain why that behavior is not allowed in our house. Maybe when you see your nephew doing something he shouldn't, nicely tell him not to do that. I've had to get on my nieces for being mean to DS and DD. Their mom won't discipline them, so I do. Once my niece was over and being mean to DS. MIL was there but will always side with niece. So I stepped in and told her to stop being mean to DS. MIL ended up taking her and leaving becaus "they weren't getting along" I have no problem protecting MY children from other kids. I don't care who they are. You won't be mean and disrespectful to me.
Edit: also it depends on your relationship with BIL and SIL. We don't agree with mine and have talked about the kids' behavior and they weren't interested in trying to fix it. So we step in. With my best friend, if we are together we both correct the other ones kids. And the same would go for my sister. We are close enough that they are allowed to discipline my kids.
My nephews are rambunctious and my bro/SIL are big on the "kids will be kids" and think that adults just need to deal with it, whereas I think, yes, kids will be kids to a certain extent, but it's rude for me to let my DD sit there and scream (happy or mad screams) while adults are trying to have a conversation. I don't feel bad redirecting my nephews or correcting them if they're being mean to each other (they're incredibly sweet with DD so that's never been an issue) or too rough. Luckily bro and SIL also believe in the whole "village to raise a child" thing, and don't mind when we step in. But I think it's fine to correct other people's kids if they refuse to do it themselves. I do this at the park or birthday parties or whatever when needed, and if DD was misbehaving or being mean and I wasn't around or didn't notice I would want someone to point it out to me or correct her themselves.
I don't feel bad about correcting my nephew when they aren't there. I'm not going to let him bite or spit on me, I don't care how damn adorable he is. I don't spank him though, but I will remove him from the situation and give him a stern talking to.
I don't feel bad about correcting my nephew when they aren't there. I'm not going to let him bite or spit on me, I don't care how damn adorable he is. I don't spank him though, but I will remove him from the situation and give him a stern talking to.
I agree with you. To be honest, if someone other than my husband spanked DD when I wasn't around I would probably go ape shit. (I'm looking at you, MIL) i don't see a problem with removing from the situation, stern talking to, redirecting, etc.
@TattoosandLace@jlgriff11 I was watching my nephew once and smacked his hand. This was the only time o has done something physical, and we both looked at eachother like "am I allowed to do that".
@TattoosandLace@jlgriff11 I was watching my nephew once and smacked his hand. This was the only time o has done something physical, and we both looked at eachother like "am I allowed to do that".
My nephew would be so surprised if I smacked his hand. He wouldn't even know what that was. Then he'd probably try to bite me or something after the initial shock lol. And if he could talk he'd tell on me anyway. He's the type.
Re: Thursday UO.
@PinkLady2015 I loooked like Oscar the grouch when I was a kid. Pretty sure this kid is coming out with a sweet unibrow.
How dare you!
@jlgriff11 my nieces are terrors too. My SIL and BIL parent differently and we hate being around them. My MIL also thinks they are angels. We just limit contact with them. I don't want my kids to act like theirs. DS is also old enough to explain why that behavior is not allowed in our house. Maybe when you see your nephew doing something he shouldn't, nicely tell him not to do that. I've had to get on my nieces for being mean to DS and DD. Their mom won't discipline them, so I do.
Once my niece was over and being mean to DS. MIL was there but will always side with niece. So I stepped in and told her to stop being mean to DS. MIL ended up taking her and leaving becaus "they weren't getting along" I have no problem protecting MY children from other kids. I don't care who they are. You won't be mean and disrespectful to me.
Edit: also it depends on your relationship with BIL and SIL. We don't agree with mine and have talked about the kids' behavior and they weren't interested in trying to fix it. So we step in. With my best friend, if we are together we both correct the other ones kids. And the same would go for my sister. We are close enough that they are allowed to discipline my kids.
I remember when I was 15 my dad was so mad at me and said "Go to your room, your getting spanking!"
I stopped and looked at him, like really?? He immediatly realized I was a teenager and that would probably be against the law. hahaha.
Married May 16th, 2015
EDD July 1st
July16 May siggy challenge "May the Force be with you"
i don't see a problem with removing from the situation, stern talking to, redirecting, etc.