Thursday UO.

PugsandKisses

What is your UO this week?  Anything juicing or judge worthy?

agradi

I think people who are overly entitled deserve a punch in the throat... With brass knuckles. The world doesn't owe you anything so stop acting like it. 

PugsandKisses

I hate beer. It smells so bad and the taste makes me gag. Actually,  there is very little alcohol that I like. A few wines and like 3 or 4 mixed drinks.

I think in my entire 20's, I had about a dozen drinks total. 

MamaBish

@PugsandKissesI hate beer too! Ugh. I hate when someone tells me it's an "acquired taste." Why would you want to force something until it seems to taste better? Just drink what tastes good now!

mckcak23

mmmm I love beer (though I am super lame and really only like Miller Lite which is more like flavored water). Though I am also a fan of mixed drinks...

I do not like coffee or wine. Cant stand either. 

kellz14

haha. Bring on the IPAs, red wine and coffee. Well maybe not now - in August! 

LDSJM123

I've never met a booze I didn't like. Beer, wine, cocktails, bring them all on. I'm a totally foodie, since about 8 weeks pregnant I've been keeping a list of all the cocktails I want to create once baby is born. No shame. 

LDSJM123

mckcak23 said:

mmmm I love beer (though I am super lame and really only like Miller Lite which is more like flavored water). Though I am also a fan of mixed drinks...

I do not like coffee or wine. Cant stand either. 

I can't even fathom what not liking coffee is like. Is this real life? People that don't enjoy it?! 

agradi

I miss coffee. This baby doesn't like it so no coffee for this girl  

clucas07

I'm not a fan of coffee at all! 

austinjl

I really dislike bacon.

HMcDade1

Maybe more of an FFFC, but I can't bring myself to be supportive in writing. As much as I want to throw my arms around women dealing with terrible situations -- I have stopped reading the sad threads because it makes me paranoid. I never comment on them for the same reason. I know there's no correlation. But avoiding some of those topics helps with my own pregnancy anxiety. 

chanfa

austinjl said:

I really dislike bacon.

Do you like turkey bacon??? My friends thought I was weird when I said I didn't like pork bacon because it was too salty.

DominiqueU

HMcDade1 said:

Maybe more of an FFFC, but I can't bring myself to be supportive in writing. As much as I want to throw my arms around women dealing with terrible situations -- I have stopped reading the sad threads because it makes me paranoid. I never comment on them for the same reason. I know there's no correlation. But avoiding some of those topics helps with my own pregnancy anxiety. 

I'm with you. I feel bad that I don't post much on those threads, but I get too anxious reading them. My heart truly goes out to anyone going through stress and heartache, but I often stand back from reading or commenting for my own sanity. 

chanfa

@HMcDade1 I feel the same way actually. It's not that I don't want to help but sometimes I just don't know what to say! Sometimes I'm afraid it comes off as if I just googled "how to be empathetic" and copy and pasted the answer...

However, I am like that in person too. I get really nervous around people who are having a hard time but I really want to help.

TM14

My coffee is more sugar and cream than actual coffee....depends on the day.

Don't know how this will go over but I think it's okay to spank your child ONLY of it is appropriate. I got them as a child and I'm fine. 

deuxbouledogues

I am not a hugger. I don't offer hugs, I don't especially enjoy hugs from acquaintance, I get all awkward about them. I love to hug my husband and my dad and my doggies but other than that...

ButterMyBiscuit

HMcDade1 said:

Maybe more of an FFFC, but I can't bring myself to be supportive in writing. As much as I want to throw my arms around women dealing with terrible situations -- I have stopped reading the sad threads because it makes me paranoid. I never comment on them for the same reason. I know there's no correlation. But avoiding some of those topics helps with my own pregnancy anxiety. 

I'm guilty of this, too, but mostly because I suck at comforting people. It really comes off as insincere and I'd rather be silent than look like an asshole.

chanfa

theshannondee said:

I am not a hugger. I don't offer hugs, I don't especially enjoy hugs from acquaintance, I get all awkward about them. I love to hug my husband and my dad and my doggies but other than that...

yep x1005834954395375347!

I also don't like it when people touch me lol.. the only people who can are my parents, my DH, and the doctor.

kellz14

@chanfa If it helps, I think most people who are in a distressed situation don't want to hear any wise words of advice, they just want to know people are there. I know for myself, I too stress myself out like "omg what should i say to this person" but I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves when it's not necessary.  I have a friend who is a grief counselor. He always says to follow the rule of the 3 H's:

1. Hush (you really don't need to have any wise words, but you can listen) 2. Hug  3. Hang around

And that's really all most people need - I think most people end up putting their foot in their mouth with awkward advice trying to console a grieving person and it's better of to just be silent - actions speak louder than words!

As for others who have a hard time with anxiety when reading about other people's losses, I totally get that, it's hard.

MamaBish

I get that it's hard to read about others' struggles, it's anxiety inducing, and sometimes a step back is needed; but if you can find anything in you just to post a quick word of support, it can mean a lot to the person. A simple "thinking of you" rarely seems insincere and is often very comforting to read when it feels like your world is falling apart.

Just something to think about

oneliloaktree13

For the most part, I find people exhausting. 

austinjl

No, no bacon.  I even tried chocolate covered bacon that my husband made cuz chocolate makes things better and I still don't like it.

oneliloaktree13

austinjl said:

No, no bacon.  I even tried chocolate covered bacon that my husband made cuz chocolate makes things better and I still don't like it.

I never saw the need to put chocolate on bacon. I do however prefer turkey bacon over pig bacon unless it's family raised pork. I might be really picky when it comes to meat products.

PinkLady2015

oneliloaktree13 said:

For the most part, I find people exhausting. 

This is why I tend to avoid 99.9% of them...

melodramatic26

TM14 said:

Don't know how this will go over but I think it's okay to spank your child ONLY of it is appropriate. I got them as a child and I'm fine. 

I'm sure my parents think I'm fine too. But the spankings I received as a child have left mental scars. It also damaged my relationship with my parents. They don't know any of this and would say the spankings were no big deal. But they were.

That's the thing with physically hurting children, you can't say what will and won't affect them in the long term.

TM14

melodramatic26 said:

TM14 said:

Don't know how this will go over but I think it's okay to spank your child ONLY of it is appropriate. I got them as a child and I'm fine. 

I'm sure my parents think I'm fine too. But the spankings I received as a child have left mental scars. It also damaged my relationship with my parents. They don't know any of this and would say the spankings were no big deal. But they were.

That's the thing with physically hurting children, you can't say what will and won't affect them in the long term.

I guess I never really think about it hurting her, and I do not enjoy doing it. Again it's rare and only if time outs haven't gotten the point across.


I would never want to harm my daughter. I know spankings are no fun. It rarely happens. My daughter is pretty well behaved. I guess they effect everyone differently.

ninji15

LDSJM123 said:

mckcak23 said:

mmmm I love beer (though I am super lame and really only like Miller Lite which is more like flavored water). Though I am also a fan of mixed drinks...

I do not like coffee or wine. Cant stand either. 

I can't even fathom what not liking coffee is like. Is this real life? People that don't enjoy it?! 

I hate coffee and tea, I get side-eyed a lot. lol

jlgriff11

Spankings are not the same as beatings or whippings.

People correlate a swat on the butt to being flayed with a belt like some kids got in my day.  One is okay. The other is not I don't think. The spankings I got never amounted to much but a good scare. I'm better off for them, I think. But I never much got switches or belts unless it was my Grandpa. Those certainly left an impression on me. I won't pretend that I don't  wish some people I know had gotten a good hard spanking as kids, might have cured them of their disrespect and entitlement. 

Personally.

oneliloaktree13

We would get the wooden spoon, and I own a lot of wooden spoons right now. Would I use one on my kids? More than likely no. Like @jlgriff11 said, there's to me personally a difference between a quick swat to the butt and holding a kid over your knee. I think yelling at your child can do just as much harm as physical abuse. That's played more of an impact in my mother and I's relationship and I've actually had to watch myself to not pick up that habit. Parenting is hard. 

noelietrex

Probably an UO- If you don't know how to code whatever you're requesting, you should have to STFU and take what is given to you. Why do people in marketing who view themselves as "idea people" think their ideas are worth a f**k?! Most of the time thinking one has a great idea even though one has no idea how to execute said idea is actually just being a self-important @$$hole and creating a world of trouble for everyone who actually knows how to execute anything... Ugh. Digital and creative have so many awesome ideas that are ignored for the sake marketing's ego. I wish we could toss most of marketing and PR out the window and watch the company prosper from more input from those who are actually capable instead of the people who just sit around thinking up these "great ideas".

kellz14

I agree with @jlgriff11 and @oneliloaktree13 -- I think it also depends on the kid.  I think different personalities of kids just respond differently to different approaches.  What works for one kid might be ineffective/harmful to another.  Of course I'm a FTM so we'll see how this plays out in reality.... but I hope I can observe how my kid's unique personality responds to certain things before making up my mind on whether a light/non-raging spanking would be right or not.

soberkfell

@oneliloaktree13 I totally agree that yelling can be just as impactful/hurtful. My DS didn't want to leave the house yesterday morning and leave his toys, so when I picked him up, he grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked. Out of pain and before I could stop myself, I yelled "Ow! Let go!" His eyes welled up with tears, and he hugged me so hard. I felt so bad!!! So yea, words can be just as harsh as physical discipline, for sure!

TattoosandLace

oneliloaktree13 said:

We would get the wooden spoon, and I own a lot of wooden spoons right now. Would I use one on my kids? More than likely no. Like @jlgriff11 said, there's to me personally a difference between a quick swat to the butt and holding a kid over your knee. I think yelling at your child can do just as much harm as physical abuse. That's played more of an impact in my mother and I's relationship and I've actually had to watch myself to not pick up that habit. Parenting is hard. 

My parents never spanked me. We always discussed what I had done and talked about why it was wrong/what I could do next time. Hearing my dad say I disappointed him hurt way more than any spanking. Then again, I recognize that I wasn't exactly a normal child. 

kellz14

@noelietrex as someone who codes for a living... you just made my day haha

soberkfell

My UO: If someone tells me I don't look pregnant, I actually don't get upset. I was 20 pounds overweight when I got KU, and have been ultra conscious of eating healthy/staying active with this pregnancy - with DS, I ate cheeseburgers and fries for practically every meal, drank sugary sodas and was restricted to not lifting anything heavier than a gallon of milk, resulting in me gaining 65 pounds. I don't feel any less pregnant when they say it, and I take it as a compliment when I can tell they're not just calling me chubby - I feel like they're recognizing my efforts to take better care of myself this time around. Please note, though, that I'm not saying just because this is how I feel when people say this to me, that other people should not feel offended when in a similar situation. I know everyone views her body differently, based on her history hearing she doesn't look very pregnant can be very hurtful, and raging pregnancy hormones can make us all more sensitive. I also haven't had some random person say this to me - only family/close friends, so I'm not sure I'd react the same if someone I don't have a close relationship with would say it.

elenabrent

oneliloaktree13 said:

We would get the wooden spoon, and I own a lot of wooden spoons right now. Would I use one on my kids? More than likely no. Like @jlgriff11 said, there's to me personally a difference between a quick swat to the butt and holding a kid over your knee. I think yelling at your child can do just as much harm as physical abuse. That's played more of an impact in my mother and I's relationship and I've actually had to watch myself to not pick up that habit. Parenting is hard. 

I think it's less about the way that you deliver the punishment (screaming or hitting) and more about the relationship between the punishment and the crime. I was occasionally spanked/grabbed/had my ear yanked and I was screamed at a lot and both have impacted my relationship with my mom. Mostly because there were massive inconsistencies in when/why I was getting these extreme punishments and when she was mellow about things. My personal issue with spanking is that it isn't a natural consequence. As a teacher I see all the time that consequences that fit the action and are logical results of that action make a lasting impact on the kid, and punishments that are unrelated or hard for the kid to connect to their actions don't make an impact. If a kid throws his dinner all over the floor and then gets spanked for it, it might not make total sense to him why he's getting spanked. If his consequence is to clean up his food and clean the floor, no matter how much he complains or how much time it takes, he'll likely ingest the consequence more seriously and remember it as connected to throwing his food. 

elenabrent

My UO: I really hate playing imaginative games with kids. I really like hanging out with kids, I really like doing things with them, but I fucking hate getting down on the floor and playing dinosaurs or whatever. I'm not good at it, it definitely can't be that fun for them because I am absolutely phoning it in, and I try to avoid it at all costs. I'm curious if I'll feel differently when it's my kid instead of my students/nieces, but I doubt it will be. 

Singingmama10

I think both yelling and spankings can play a roll in raising your children.  We've decided to spank when things involve our child's safety.... up until this point he has not gotten a real spanking, but a slap on the hand a couple of times.  When I say "danger" now he will gently slap his hand and avoid whatever it I'm talking about.  I have literally only slapped his hand maybe 4 times but he understood quickly to avoid things when I say are dangerous.  
 Personally, @soberkfell I think it was totally fine for you to yell a little at your DS when he pulled your hair.  He realized that he did something wrong and felt bad about it (which IMO he should).  I also say this not knowing how old your DS is but my 15 month old when I raise my voice a little he knows he should not do something.  The other day he had a 12m old friend come over and he went over and smacked the boy on the head (he was just trying to get his attention).  I raised my voice and yelled that he shouldn't do that.  He then went over and gently patted the boy on the head GREAT! He learned that he shouldn't do it.  

Where I think parents go wrong is yelling ALL the time.  My sister is constantly yelling at her preteen kids and never sits down and just talks to them about their actions.  I think all yelling and no explaining/rationalizing creates a huge problem and a lack of respect for both sides.  which unfortunately is what is happening in my sisters house  

Kellyj103

I hate coffee. I've tried doing it,I can't. It makes my stomach hurt no matter how much sugar and/or milk I put in it.

My UO: I love talking about politics. I was a political science major in college and I love to get nerdy and obsess over fivethirtyeight.com. My only caveat is that I won't engage in conversation that is down right offensive (sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic etc). I saw someone post about their office discussing politics and calling a candidate the "c" word. Yuck that would drive me crazy. I have to say most of the conversations I've had, even with people who don't agree with my points of view, have been engaging, enlightening and informative. 

KASG

I don't know if this is unpopular, but there IS a such thing as an ugly baby.

Also, I agree with spankings. More kids need em. I was spanked with switches sometimes... Spankings are definitely not the same as full on, child abuse-type beatings. But shoot, kids these days don't even get grounded or punished even non-physically!