Your starting weight and corresponding metabolic rate. At 265 lbs you need far more calories to sustain that weight than you do at 200 lbs for example. So asking someone who is 265 to gain 25 - 35 lbs (or even 15 lbs) is already asking them to intake far, far more calories (and presumably nutrients) than someone at 200 lbs. That makes no sense to me. The baby's nutritional needs don't change from that of a slimmer person so why the much larger required intake of calories and nutrients. My gut on this is that scientific studies done delved only into a correlation between weight gain and resulting fetal weight. That doesn't really address that the nutrient intake also fluctuates based on food intake/weight gain and that the increased nutrients could actually be a bigger factor in driving optimal fetal weight. If someone does have a link to a further study on this, I would love to see it. But I haven't been able to find anything on it.
I've been thinking about this, too!
The standard recommendations are for thin ladies are to gain more weight (25-40 lbs), for average ladies to gain (25-35 lbs), and for fat ladies to gain less (15-25 lbs).
That makes *no* sense to me!!! It seems to assume that skinny women aren't eating enough pre-pregnancy and that that's not just their normal body size, and that fat women are eating too much pre-pregnancy and that that's not just their normal body size. Like, once you start eating healthy your body is going to float back to some universal feminine "normal." Not actually how it works there.
The baby adds weight, as does the placenta, the amniotic fluid, and all the uterine extras. Those should be the same regardless of a woman's weight, right? But pregnancy also makes us more filled with fluid (blood and mucus), of which larger women will presumably have/need more and thinner women will have/need less. It literally makes no sense to me that a heavier woman should be expected to gain less, unless the doctors are using this as a sneaky way to recommend weight loss.
But I haven't been able to find any research that explains the reasoning behind those weight recommendations.
You hit the nail on the head, @dshannah . That is what the medical community is trying to promote. In order for any woman of any size to only gain 15lbs during a normal pregnancy, it would require her to lose at least 10lbs of existing body fat. The uterus, baby, placenta, and fluids alone should total way more than 15lbs by delivery (especially if you are growing a 9-10 pounder in there!) so in order to stay within that limit, a woman would need to actually lose adipose tissue. For some women, that is not advisable since our bodies naturally store up more energy as fat cells to get us through the arduous process of birth and BFing. Really, the focus should be on healthy eating and activity and not losing or gaining a certain amount. But, I guess it is too hard for a doctor to objectively say "be healthy" and instead they push these pretty arbitrary weight numbers. What I have found is that the baby always take what it needs first and then the mom's body has whatever is left over. In my case, since I am eating more nutrient dense foods and exercising, my baby girl is getting all the nutrients she needs and any extra that my body would normally store away is getting burned off. I can afford it because I have 25 years worth of fat stored up so it would take a lot for me to get into a danger zone, but for others it is not healthy to deny your body the ability to store fat cells. For most women, you can eat healthy, exercise, and do everything "right" and still gain weight during pregnancy (and, gasp, not lose it all immediately after the child is born!). It is just biology. So, don't stress about it, do what feels good for your body, and treat yo'self.
Yeah that's the other thing. Bodies aren't machines which are 'calories in, calories out'. My sister can eat 1600 calories a day amd walk miles and weigh 210. I have lived with her before and knew exactly what she ate. She has cysts on her thyroid so that definitely impacts it. In contrast I can eat that amount and stay quite slim. Bodies are so much more complex than we know.
I think pregnancy changes the hormones that regulate digestion and metabolism once again and the body starts gaining at a different pace for each woman. So it makes more sense to me to focus on nutrient intake targets and then give someone a rough caloric guideline to fall within (like if someone eats 4000 calories a day that isn't good unless they are excessively active). After that, unless the weight gain is excessive or, in the case of those who don't gain enough weight, the baby's growth isn't sufficient or the woman tests deficient in specific nutrients, leave it alone.
I honestly think that most people are just brain dead, socially awkward and inappropriate. Some people just feel the need to say something- anything and it always winds up being some sort of stupidity flying out of their mouths. I just brush everything off and ignore people because 99.9% of them have absolutely no clue what they are even talking about. In addition, just keep in mind, we are growing little humans inside of us- our bodies WILL change to accommodate them, and some of our bodies will react differently throughout the process
Sorry to bring this thread back but I couldn't see twatwaffle yet and I need to vent!! so work person who I deal with by phone only talking about my pregnancy and asks 'have you gained much weight?' I mean WHAT????? and freaking WHY??? so sick of everyone's opinions on my body. This was after a cracking MIL one at the weekend - asked me what I had gained, me stupidly said, then I get 'Oooh that's a lot' WELL ACTUALLY LADY IT ISNT its fine - i am ok, midwife ok and baby ok so back the heck up!
People are so weird. I got the most random mix of comments this weekend about my body. Some people told me I was tiny, some said I looked super pregnant, some said I looked great/glowing/beautiful, some said they barely could recognize me. It was so overwhelming. I am really trying to ignore all the lame ass comments about my body, because they aren't going away anytime soon, still got 9 weeks of that crap!
It must be where we all are in pregnancy because I have been getting bombarded with comments. In general, I have never been comfortable with people commenting on my body, but it is like open season! A random lady at the grocery store said I don't look pregnant from behind (while touching me...ew!), my friend from choir said I look fantastic (I like her!), my older sister said "WOW! That must be one big baby in there!", a parent picking up a puking child said "Look at that adorable bump. And you are carrying so high!", my mom tried to force-feed me cake because she thinks I am too thin, MH said "Your arms aren't nearly as jiggly as you think" while I flapped my flab in the mirror, and just now a coworker commented how my hips don't look nearly wide enough and labor is going to be extra tough for me. Thanks, having a CS, also none of your business, and yuck! Don't be imagining me in labor!
@laurenmdrn16@wsgjmw1 and at nearly 32 weeks and really couldn't give a fig (imagine curse word!) what they think - I am annoyed as it is so ingrained now that when people DONT comment I notice too!!!
@laurenmdrn16 Omg. The comments never end now. I literally got stopped by 5 people at work yesterday and only one of them I ever really talk to. It's been like this every day now for like the past week. One person even said 'Oh you're at the cute bump stage right now. Just you wait a few weeks. You'll be miserable.'. Um, thanks? I just walked away... I don't know what you even say to someone who says something like that. Luckily no touching yet. I think DH might freak out if he were with me. He's very protective of the bump. Lol.
A nanny at preschool yesterday told me my belly was getting big. I should hope so, there's a baby in it. Luckily no one tries to touch me, but my FIL did last time. I let him because he seemed so excited about it, but that was a one time pass.
I had an unpleasant experience this weekend when my group of "friends" spent most of the evening discussing how and why my belly is bigger than another friend who is due six weeks before me. It was a bit taken aback because I've only gained about 4 pounds this pregnancy and was actually worried that I'm not putting on enough weight. But apparently I am "huge" and "carrying low" and "definitely having a boy", according to them. I really wish people would keep their opinions of my body to themselves!
On a related note - my lack of weight gain does seem weird and this is not a humble brag as I actually feel like I'm losing muscle mass and my body is just generally turning to mush. Has anyone else felt this way? I'm guessing I should be trying to work out but with all of the aches and pains, as well as the exhaustion, I can't imagine trying to up my activity level too much at this stage.
I gained close to 25 pounds so far. It's all belly and a bit in the thighs. People are constantly commenting about how small my body is but how huge and sharp my belly is. They used to ask me if I was sure it was just one in there and now they just tell me to not fall over. I have to say- nothing bothers me lately. I guess my focus is on the mademoiselle that constantly reminds me she's coming soon with her jabs and kicks. I just didn't expect to have such a big baby in measurement considering husbands and my stature.
I was so thankful to my midwife on Wednesday for NOT mentioning my weight. It might be because I'm 8 months and they're just done trying to get me to stay in a certain boundary!
Re: Weight Gain Shaming
I think pregnancy changes the hormones that regulate digestion and metabolism once again and the body starts gaining at a different pace for each woman. So it makes more sense to me to focus on nutrient intake targets and then give someone a rough caloric guideline to fall within (like if someone eats 4000 calories a day that isn't good unless they are excessively active). After that, unless the weight gain is excessive or, in the case of those who don't gain enough weight, the baby's growth isn't sufficient or the woman tests deficient in specific nutrients, leave it alone.
so work person who I deal with by phone only talking about my pregnancy and asks 'have you gained much weight?'
I mean WHAT????? and freaking WHY??? so sick of everyone's opinions on my body. This was after a cracking MIL one at the weekend - asked me what I had gained, me stupidly said, then I get 'Oooh that's a lot' WELL ACTUALLY LADY IT ISNT its fine -
i am ok, midwife ok and baby ok so back the heck up!
wish I could gif !!
and at nearly 32 weeks and really couldn't give a fig (imagine curse word!) what they think - I am annoyed as it is so ingrained now that when people DONT comment I notice too!!!
On a related note - my lack of weight gain does seem weird and this is not a humble brag as I actually feel like I'm losing muscle mass and my body is just generally turning to mush. Has anyone else felt this way? I'm guessing I should be trying to work out but with all of the aches and pains, as well as the exhaustion, I can't imagine trying to up my activity level too much at this stage.