For those ladies doing something at home for a shower, what are u guys doing for food and party favors? Ive been on pinterest for ideas but id love to hear what ya'll are doing
I suggested to my best friend and sister who are throwing my shower chic fila caters. Who doesn't love that lol...I said they could have it at my house originally, that way maybe I could open presents in the nursery? But my mom didn't like that idea lol...
It seems people are just hung up using the word "shower". I liked how someone referred to it as a pre-birthday party. I don't like the party after the baby is born idea, because you're baby is still really vulnerable to everything!
I wanted to make some things for the party, but I'm not allowed
what do you mean "hung up on the word shower"? it's not a "pre-birthday party". it's a gift to the mother to welcome her to morherhood. it's not for the baby at all. seriously, how are there so many people who don't understand what a shower is..?
For those ladies doing something at home for a shower, what are u guys doing for food and party favors? Ive been on pinterest for ideas but id love to hear what ya'll are doing
I suggested to my best friend and sister who are throwing my shower chic fila caters. Who doesn't love that lol...I said they could have it at my house originally, that way maybe I could open presents in the nursery? But my mom didn't like that idea lol...
It seems people are just hung up using the word "shower". I liked how someone referred to it as a pre-birthday party. I don't like the party after the baby is born idea, because you're baby is still really vulnerable to everything!
I wanted to make some things for the party, but I'm not allowed
what do you mean "hung up on the word shower"? it's not a "pre-birthday party". it's a gift to the mother to welcome her to morherhood. it's not for the baby at all. seriously, how are there so many people who don't understand what a shower is..?
No, I mean what to call the party. Since so many people don't want her to call her party a " shower". Geez, I just made a suggestion.
No, I mean what to call the party. Since so many people don't want her to call her party a " shower". Geez, I just made a suggestion.
The reason people are "hung up" on the word shower is because a shower is a gift-giving event no matter your personal feelings about it. You ask 100 people what a baby shower is for and 99 will say to shower the mother to be with gifts. Since it's rude to throw a gift-giving event with yourself as the honoree, you should not do that. By calling it a shower, people are going to feel obligated to bring a gift. By calling a party, some people may bring gifts, but it takes the focus off the gift and makes it more just about having fun.
A shower, by definition is a gift to an expected mother to celebrate her entrance to Motherhood. You are not, at any point, celebrating the baby. The baby isn't even "present" yet. The guest of honor is the mother-to-be.
A shower, by definition is a gift to an expected mother to celebrate her entrance to Motherhood. You are not, at any point, celebrating the baby. The baby isn't even "present" yet. The guest of honor is the mother-to-be.
I had 3 hostesses, none of them brought a "gift" because my shower was my gift from them. You're correct as usual @PrimRoseMama
My two cents from someone who moves every few years and therefore is never close to long-term, established friends; I'm having a bbq, with couples and kids and food and booze. I'm not mentioning anything about gifts, but if someone brings something it will be accepted with thanks. I have a registry set up for family and my very closest friends (in case they ask), but will not be announcing on facebook (saw that happen today, ick), sending the info with an invite (bbq invite will most likely be a fb event), or in any way have my husband giving out any info to his coworkers.
I will be able to travel home for a small event, most likely hosted at my mother's house, but did let her and my sister know that I would prefer a really similar set-up because it will just be nice to gather friends and family into one place and share good food. That's just my personal preference and really doesn't change their plans as they regularly host summer bbq's.
My husband and I made this baby, we don't expect anyone to provide for it. We regularly host events at our house, at least once a month, so our friends will have no reason to feel obligated to gift or to think a bbq is anywhere out of the ordinary.
Eta: None of us know you in real life, so if you decide to do it whether we call it tacky or not, just do it. No need to come back and defend and try to make us change our opinions, it probably won't work.
As stated, we are not having this "shower" as a means of receiving gifts. It is a get together to celebrate. We are not asking for gifts but it wouldnt surprise me if people thought to bring them. While there are sites that say its rude or tacky, to each their own.
*lurker*
I call so much BS on that. If you weren't doing it to get gifts you would just call it a BBQ and would never say the word shower. Don't be rude AND a liar.
@AOliveira11, I'll be the pretend host for your baby shower, I'll welcome you into motherhood.
Maybe you can invite her to your shower and she can eat Chick Fil A and watch you open presents in a really small nursery.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
She's not insulting your suggestion of caterer. She's poking fun of the fact that you offered to be the pretend hostess to legitimize a tacky situation.
@AOliveira11, I'll be the pretend host for your baby shower, I'll welcome you into motherhood.
Maybe you can invite her to your shower and she can eat Chick Fil A and watch you open presents in a really small nursery.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
@AOliveira11, I'll be the pretend host for your baby shower, I'll welcome you into motherhood.
Maybe you can invite her to your shower and she can eat Chick Fil A and watch you open presents in a really small nursery.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
Why are you so defensive? If you had enough confidence in yourself and your food preference for your shower then you wouldn't have to resort to calling names and stomping your feet. You don't know anything about me.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
She's not insulting your suggestion of caterer. She's poking fun of the fact that you offered to be the pretend hostess to legitimize a tacky situation.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
She's not insulting your suggestion of caterer. She's poking fun of the fact that you offered to be the pretend hostess to legitimize a tacky situation.
Really? Because it totally seemed to suggest that and she also implied I must have a 'super small' nursery...meaning what?
Even if I did care that she is hosting her own shower, I never would insult her or keep going on and on about the exact definition of a shower.
She asked for a suggestion and I gave it to her without insulting anyone.
Really? Because it totally seemed to suggest that and she also implied I must have a 'super small' nursery...meaning what?
Even if I did care that she is hosting her own shower, I never would insult her or keep going on and on about the exact definition of a shower.
She asked for a suggestion and I gave it to her without insulting anyone.
Probably meaning that most nurseries are small especially after we cram all the baby furniture in them. Mine is like 10x10 but with the crib, dresser, recliner, armoire, and storage cubes, it takes about 2 steps to cross the room.
@bigboobsmcgee, I never called you any names. You're name is big boobs McGee. I didnt say you were a snob, but the viewpoint was snobbish. You seemed to imply to mr that maybe because of my ideas or that I might have a 'small' nursery that I might be lower class.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
She's not insulting your suggestion of caterer. She's poking fun of the fact that you offered to be the pretend hostess to legitimize a tacky situation.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
She's not insulting your suggestion of caterer. She's poking fun of the fact that you offered to be the pretend hostess to legitimize a tacky situation.
Really? Because it totally seemed to suggest that and she also implied I must have a 'super small' nursery...meaning what?
Even if I did care that she is hosting her own shower, I never would insult her or keep going on and on about the exact definition of a shower.
She asked for a suggestion and I gave it to her without insulting anyone.
Yes, I was TOTALLY implying that you have a small nursery, and probably a small house, and no money, probably no education too ::eye roll::
Can ANYONE fit all their baby shower attendees in a nursery to watch the MTB open gifts?! I sure can't at my house!
You have got to stop taking everything so personally!
@bigboobsmcgee, I never called you any names. You're name is big boobs McGee. I didnt say you were a snob, but the viewpoint was snobbish. You seemed to imply to mr that maybe because of my ideas or that I might have a 'small' nursery that I might be lower class.
Yes, I was TOTALLY implying that you have a small nursery, and probably a small house, and no money, probably no education too ::eye roll::
Can ANYONE fit all their baby shower attendees in a nursery to watch the MTB open gifts?! I sure can't at my house!
You have got to stop taking everything so personally!
My nursery would comfortably fit about 3 people...sitting in the floor...holding the gift they brought...as long as the gift fit in a one square foot space. Considering I had 20 people at my shower, having it in my nursery would have been a bad idea. Well........maybe they could have lined up in the hall and gifted me one by one?
@bigboobsmcgee, I never called you any names. You're name is big boobs McGee. I didnt say you were a snob, but the viewpoint was snobbish. You seemed to imply to mr that maybe because of my ideas or that I might have a 'small' nursery that I might be lower class.
Yeah, I'm not going to keep going back and forth with you. Clearly you want a fight and I ain't got no time for that.
@Bigboobsmcgee I've just bump-met you but you are already worming my brain! Your 'probably have a small....' just kept going in my mind and got progressively less pg. It's still going....
Aughh...well than don't insult me than. I never insulted anyone and was just trying to give suggestions without being a bully. And don't try to say you were not implying anything with your comment. It was pretty obvious.
Aughh...well than don't insult me than. I never insulted anyone and was just trying to give suggestions without being a bully. And don't try to say you were not implying anything with your comment. It was pretty obvious.
stop throwing the word bully around you are a grown woman act like it! Unless you invite 2-4 people no one has a big enough nursery for a shower. Time to grow a thicker skin because if this is what you call being a bully shoot honey you are in a for a world of hurt in the real world.
If your child goes to you and says "mommy someone didn't like what I had to say and used logic against me" are you going to call the other mom and complain or Tell the kid suck it up admit you were wrong and grow a thicker skin.
@Bigboobsmcgee I love nene and applaud any gif of hers used!
I recognize I am a grown woman and that is why I am defending myself. I never said my idea was the greatest , it was an idea. I was just giving the op suggestions, and than I get made fun of for my suggestions. Bullying is a real thing and it happens in all aspects of life. How many people have to tell the op that she is tacky before it is just too much? I usually ignore the baby shower talk, but some would not let up. I guess for those who like shows that are just about bullying, insulting, and getting into fights, then yes maybe I am too sensitive to what bullying is.
I recognize I am a grown woman and that is why I am defending myself. I never said my idea was the greatest , it was an idea. I was just giving the op suggestions, and than I get made fun of for my suggestions. Bullying is a real thing and it happens in all aspects of life. How many people have to tell the op that she is tacky before it is just too much? I usually ignore the baby shower talk, but some would not let up. I guess for those who like shows that are just about bullying, insulting, and getting into fights, then yes maybe I am too sensitive to what bullying is.
Qfp
No one made fun just pointed out strange issues with it. This is honest opinions not bullying and saying something is tacky again is NOT bullying! I agree you are too sensitive and it has nothing to do with shows people watch. Since you have decided to leave though
I seriously get SO tickled anytime someone calls someone a bully on here. Are we in elementary? Did they shove you in a locker? No.
I really don't like being the center of attention and I don't like people fussing over me. My friends are throwing me a shower and I am SO grateful, but wish I could do more to help them. They did let me order the baby shower invites. I was really glad to be able to help pay for something. I did NOT put the registry information on the invitation even though no one knows they came from me. Just the thought of being that tacky is too much for me.
Yikes... When I started this post, this is so not what I was expecting it to turn into. I was just hoping for some suggestions and ideas on how to still have a shower like event without seeming gift grabby because I really truly don't give a flying-f about gifts at all and just wanted a fun celebration with some of the new friends I've met without pushing hosting onto one of them if they haven't offered to do so.
But really? I mean I get that the bump boards are typically snarky and bitchy. But good grief ladies, can't we just agree to disagree about it and move on already? It's getting a bit childish as this point.
Yikes... When I started this post, this is so not what I was expecting it to turn into. I was just hoping for some suggestions and ideas on how to still have a shower like event without seeming gift grabby because I really truly don't give a flying-f about gifts at all and just wanted a fun celebration with some of the new friends I've met without pushing hosting onto one of them if they haven't offered to do so.
But really? I mean I get that the bump boards are typically snarky and bitchy. But good grief ladies, can't we just agree to disagree about it and move on already? It's getting a bit childish as this point.
I'll agree that the boards are generally snarky but I won't say they are bitchy. That often seems like recourse for those who get responses they don't like/don't agree with and who can't accept it. I know you want to "still have a shower like event without seeming gift grabby" but that there is a catch 22. Don't have a shower, don't mention shower, don't mention a registry. If you truly want to simply celebrate, then do that! Go out for a meal or go get pedicures or something. Of course you're entitled to disagree, this is just my (and I'd venture to say the majority's) opinion.
Yikes... When I started this post, this is so not what I was expecting it to turn into. I was just hoping for some suggestions and ideas on how to still have a shower like event without seeming gift grabby because I really truly don't give a flying-f about gifts at all and just wanted a fun celebration with some of the new friends I've met without pushing hosting onto one of them if they haven't offered to do so.
But really? I mean I get that the bump boards are typically snarky and bitchy. But good grief ladies, can't we just agree to disagree about it and move on already? It's getting a bit childish as this point.
I'll agree that the boards are generally snarky but I won't say they are bitchy. That often seems like recourse for those who get responses they don't like/don't agree with and who can't accept it. I know you want to "still have a shower like event without seeming gift grabby" but that there is a catch 22. Don't have a shower, don't mention shower, don't mention a registry. If you truly want to simply celebrate, then do that! Go out for a meal or go get pedicures or something. Of course you're entitled to disagree, this is just my (and I'd venture to say the majority's) opinion.
Thank you for being able to disagree without being rude about it! Haha. What do you think would be a good way to express that I want to go out and celebrate but don't want it to be considered a "shower" and that gifts aren't expected? That seems to be where I'm running into an issue with wording/etiquette.
You just go have a luncheon. I believe that earlier in this post, someone listed off 10 different things you could call it.
When you get everyone together, say to their faces, "Thank you all for coming! I just really wanted to get everyone together, we're so overjoyed to be welcoming a new baby into the world and I can't wait for you to meet him or her!"
That's it. Super simple. People HAVE given really good advice, you've just chosen not to listen/take it into consideration.
Or just say "We are having a BBQ on X date - hope to see you there!" Send a FB invite for a casual vibe if you feel it's necessary.
I've hosted plenty of get togethers before baby where people did not feel obligated to feel gifts and I am sure I'll continue to host them after. Just don't mention baby or celebrating and no one will think it's some sort of incognito shower.
Also, like @dragonfly321 said. This same exact advice, perhaps in a different vernacular, has actually been given like 3467 times in this thread alone. Just take a few minutes and scroll through because in addition to the snark, there is great advice here.
Re: Host my own shower?! (Update in comments)
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Dying. This is hilarious!
I will be able to travel home for a small event, most likely hosted at my mother's house, but did let her and my sister know that I would prefer a really similar set-up because it will just be nice to gather friends and family into one place and share good food. That's just my personal preference and really doesn't change their plans as they regularly host summer bbq's.
My husband and I made this baby, we don't expect anyone to provide for it. We regularly host events at our house, at least once a month, so our friends will have no reason to feel obligated to gift or to think a bbq is anywhere out of the ordinary.
Eta: None of us know you in real life, so if you decide to do it whether we call it tacky or not, just do it. No need to come back and defend and try to make us change our opinions, it probably won't work.
I call so much BS on that. If you weren't doing it to get gifts you would just call it a BBQ and would never say the word shower. Don't be rude AND a liar.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
Wow, that's kind of mean, ms big boobs. Are you insulting my suggestions or ideas because they are not at a high end restaurant? Or the fact that i am trying to offer my hostesses more economical options? What a snobbish view point. Talk about being tacky
I'm sorry we don't all live in your bubble of perfection.
********QBF*********
Why are you so defensive? If you had enough confidence in yourself and your food preference for your shower then you wouldn't have to resort to calling names and stomping your feet. You don't know anything about me.
FTR, I freaking LOVE Chick Fil A.
It really did c She's not insulting your suggestion of caterer. She's poking fun of the fact that you offered to be the pretend hostess to legitimize a tacky situation.
Really? Because it totally seemed to suggest that and she also implied I must have a 'super small' nursery...meaning what?
Even if I did care that she is hosting her own shower, I never would insult her or keep going on and on about the exact definition of a shower.
She asked for a suggestion and I gave it to her without insulting anyone.
Yes, I was TOTALLY implying that you have a small nursery, and probably a small house, and no money, probably no education too ::eye roll::
Can ANYONE fit all their baby shower attendees in a nursery to watch the MTB open gifts?! I sure can't at my house!
You have got to stop taking everything so personally!
My nursery would comfortably fit about 3 people...sitting in the floor...holding the gift they brought...as long as the gift fit in a one square foot space. Considering I had 20 people at my shower, having it in my nursery would have been a bad idea. Well........maybe they could have lined up in the hall and gifted me one by one?
Yeah, I'm not going to keep going back and forth with you. Clearly you want a fight and I ain't got no time for that.
...make it stop!!
If your child goes to you and says "mommy someone didn't like what I had to say and used logic against me" are you going to call the other mom and complain or Tell the kid suck it up admit you were wrong and grow a thicker skin.
@Bigboobsmcgee I love nene and applaud any gif of hers used!
I was just giving the op suggestions, and than I get made fun of for my suggestions.
Bullying is a real thing and it happens in all aspects of life. How many people have to tell the op that she is tacky before it is just too much? I usually ignore the baby shower talk, but some would not let up.
I guess for those who like shows that are just about bullying, insulting, and getting into fights, then yes maybe I am too sensitive to what bullying is.
No one made fun just pointed out strange issues with it.
This is honest opinions not bullying and saying something is tacky again is NOT bullying! I agree you are too sensitive and it has nothing to do with shows people watch. Since you have decided to leave though
I really don't like being the center of attention and I don't like people fussing over me. My friends are throwing me a shower and I am SO grateful, but wish I could do more to help them. They did let me order the baby shower invites. I was really glad to be able to help pay for something. I did NOT put the registry information on the invitation even though no one knows they came from me. Just the thought of being that tacky is too much for me.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
But really? I mean I get that the bump boards are typically snarky and bitchy. But good grief ladies, can't we just agree to disagree about it and move on already? It's getting a bit childish as this point.
I know you want to "still have a shower like event without seeming gift grabby" but that there is a catch 22. Don't have a shower, don't mention shower, don't mention a registry. If you truly want to simply celebrate, then do that! Go out for a meal or go get pedicures or something. Of course you're entitled to disagree, this is just my (and I'd venture to say the majority's) opinion.
When you get everyone together, say to their faces, "Thank you all for coming! I just really wanted to get everyone together, we're so overjoyed to be welcoming a new baby into the world and I can't wait for you to meet him or her!"
That's it. Super simple.
People HAVE given really good advice, you've just chosen not to listen/take it into consideration.
Or just say "We are having a BBQ on X date - hope to see you there!" Send a FB invite for a casual vibe if you feel it's necessary.
I've hosted plenty of get togethers before baby where people did not feel obligated to feel gifts and I am sure I'll continue to host them after. Just don't mention baby or celebrating and no one will think it's some sort of incognito shower.
Also, like @dragonfly321 said. This same exact advice, perhaps in a different vernacular, has actually been given like 3467 times in this thread alone. Just take a few minutes and scroll through because in addition to the snark, there is great advice here.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.