Hi, just wondering about third trimester depression?? Totally feeling this way lately
I'm 33 weeks ftm, been on bedrest for a month. I should also mention I am bipolar, on meds, & see a psychologist & psychiatrist as part of my treatment plan.
Anyways, my mom comes over everyday to take care of me, makes me meals, cleans, walks the dog. I am extremely grateful to her & she does this voluntarily-but also feel guilty/burdensome at times-it's a lot to ask. She even takes me to my FST weekly & ob appointments. My husband & I have to split our baby bonding FMLA since we work for the same company & any time he takes off now comes out of that bank, so my mom is helping us out tremendously with that. Thank god my bedrest is separate time.
At times I feel like my husband is sort of taking advantage of the arrangement. My mom leaves an hour before he comes home & I usually take a nap. When he does come home we talk about our day & stuff. He watches the news for awhile & then goes to the garage to workout. Dinner has been cheap stuff, fast food or like pbj or yogurt or something because I'm not supposed to be cooking or doing any type of chores. Then we watch tv & go to bed. I don't sleep great at this point with heartburn & being so big, sometimes I sleep on the couch cuz I am so restless.There's not really any affection, like maybe a hug every once in awhile but thats it. I feel like my mom takes care of me better than he does. I feel like he thinks I'm her problem since I'm her kid. And when he comes home it's his relax, all about him time. Like he can't be there for me.
Take tonight for example: I had a breakdown, been feeling kinda down the past few days and it just came to a head. My dad just got diagnosed with a form of alzheimer's that affects a certain part of the brain & he's only 55. So that's been a shock & scary for what the future holds for him & our family. He's my hero-both my parents are actually.
It's also hit me that baby girl can't stay in my uterus forever & will be here before we know it! And I'm scared about giving actual birth & will she & I come out of it ok...just all these scenarios of the unknown (well unknown to me). I voiced these concerns to my husband & was met with you have to be strong & you're gonna be a mom soon, and you have to put your big girl pants on. And women give birth everyday. I was like ok I know that but right now I need you more emotionally & to tell me it's gonna be ok & you're gonna make everything ok...he said well you need to believe that. And no he did not say it's gonna be ok. I asked to snuggle him-I just needed that touch & he's like ok but I have to get some sleep, so that was like 5 mins. Felt like a burden. Like really? You see me upset & refuse to console me. It just hurts. He's not the most demonstrative person but dang. It feels so cold & heartless. Like is he gonna be like that towards our kid? What if I have post partum depression? I feel alone except for my mom & the rest of my family.