two buns in the oven

shellperry

So i found out today at my regular prenatal appointment that I'm having twins. I had my anatomy almost 2 weeks ago and the Tec didn't say a word about there being two babys. All she said was it was a boy and looked great. Today my ob informed me that the ill guy looks great and so does his sister. And she also explains why the Tec could tell me this information. So my ob spent about 30 mins showing me the different in the altrasound photos and why one one them look like the baby had three arms. Right now I feel vary over whelmed and decided this will make a great surprise for ever one at the hospital including my H! We were really hopping for a girl this time around and it looks like we're getting both!

Pontot31

So you're not telling your husband you're having twins?!?!

CarrieOct15

Woah, woah, woah! At least tell your husband!! Pretty sure he has a right to get mentally prepared for this! 

Congrats, by the way.

lakesideknitter

Ditto to pp's. Huge congrats!! My H would FREAK if I knew ahead of time and didn't tell him... and he's super understanding.

VexyMommy

This is information you will probably want to share with your partner and possibly your family.  The needs of twins are double the amount for a single child and both emotionally and financially you probably at least want to allow your partner to prepare for that. 

I can imagine this is overwhelming and exciting for you.  You may want to take some time and do some research on twins before making any final decisions.  The research you do should help guide your decision making process. 

shelljok

This would be a huge shock to find out after the ultra sound! I am really surprised the tec didn't notice bc b/g twins are in seperate sacks so that would blow my mind to find out something like that after the appointment. Congrats. The reality will sink in soon but I would definitely let your husband know! I am pregnant with two boys right now and there are moments I have an emotional "break down" anticipating twins and my husband has been a huge part of helping me through the anxiety of preparing for two.

Gapeach83

Not only is having two babies more challenging and you both need to prepare. You also both need to be informed of the medical differences that may occur during delivery. Yes you are capable of having twins as a normal delivery at full term. That is best case scenario. There are more risk involved the more babies you have. Please tell your husband. I have seen a cute video where the family didn't know but the parents did and where prepared.

ash413

Agreed, I think H definitely has a right to know and plan. If you want to surprise family that is one thing, but the father certainly has a right to know. My husband would be so pissed if I did that to him. You don't want him to be upset during what should be a very happy moment. Not to mention he should be informed since having multiples can complicate the pregnancy some, and may require an early delivery.

LSRoo

I sense MUD.

VexyMommy

LSRoo said:

I sense MUD.

I sincerely hope so. 

Favoritemandms

I feel like the cat's going to be out of the bag when you need to get two cribs, two carseats, etc...no?

CarrieOct15

VexyMommy said:

LSRoo said:

I sense MUD.

I sincerely hope so. 

I hope if she really is selfish enough to keep this from her husband, she at least records his reaction & shares it with us! heh.

Seriously, though, OP - tell your H.

KeHill08

Congratulations on two healthy babies! Honestly though, you should really tell your husband. It isn't fair to him to not tell him. Personally, I would want to tell both sets of grandparents as well, no matter how much I may dislike my MIL. This is my first, but I can only imagine how much more support you're probably going to need and want with two to where it may be beneficial for them to know. That's completely your choice though, but at least tell your husband, they are his babies too and he needs to be able to mentally prepare. Also, like a PP said, you're going to need to get two cribs, car seats, etc. so I'm not really sure how well you would be able to keep it a secret from him anyway...

shellperry

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

CarrieOct15

shellperry said:

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

In that case, best of luck. Still record his reaction, though. For us. Lol

How are you going to manage sneaking in two carseats & whatnot?

Pontot31

shellperry said:

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

Huh? You no him?
I can't even read most of this.

If my partner kept a secret like this from me I would be mortified and very angry. Surprising family is one thing, lying to your husband is another.

shellperry

That's what big sisters are for lol. I was raised by a single father my sis is like my mom she agreed with not telling hubby.

shellperry

Deffently will be video taping this delivery!!!

Pontot31

shellperry said:

Deffently will be video taping this delivery!!!

Most hospitals don't allow that any more, FYI.

mmk29

shellperry said:

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

I still feel like you should tell your husband. If it's 3 and 4 you should know that you need two car seats ready to go at the hospital. Are you going to make your husband leave the hospital to go purchase one? Also you told someone. Regardless of how well she can keep a secret, you told someone already other than your husband. What happens if something slips? Even best of intentions can get screwed up, how's he going to feel if he finds out from someone else? He'll still be excited to find out now, doesn't ruin a hue surprise just to keep him in the loop. Maybe you could just plan a special dinner or something for him soon and tell him in a cute way. Maybe he shouldn't find out when he's terrified that you went into labor a month early.

ash413

How do you plan on explaining any twin related complications, or the fact the hospital staff will be mentioning 2 babies?
Honestly, I think it is totally disrespectful to your husband, especially since you told your sister.

hacharles

I can't...
I'd surprise my husband with a second birthday cake but never with an extra baby!

Agreed with PP, very disrespectful to your husband if you've told someone else something so personal.

I think the moms with twins should comment on this because I assume that wanting another baby after the 3rd would be real different than 2 infants at the same time. 

grapesoda1111

I would be irate if I was your husband and you didn't tell me we were having twins. Not cool.

mamavbs

Surprise your husband with sex. Not an extra kid!

mmk29

mamavbs said:

Surprise your husband with sex. Not an extra kid!

This is an excellent idea.

gumby22c

Yikes I feel like this is a bad ideas. I'm surprised your sister is all for it. No way my sister would be like "heck yes don't tell him about the second baby and see what he's says. Haha". I feel bad for your H.

AmoLovesAud

OP, you will not be able to keep this from your husband.  Its better that he hears it from you.  You will need 2 infant car seats ready to go, a second crib, twice the diaper stash, etc.  Not to mention the hospital staff will know and will reference both babies repeatedly, and there are additional potential complications with twin pregnancies and births and they will likely frequently discuss that with him.  A surprise on delivery day for both of you is one thing, but if he get surprised and finds out that you knew all along.... all I can say is if my partner did that, I'd be livid.

MoRay05

Even if you were to keep this a secret.... You can't hide how large your belly is going to get. Does your H not go to any doctors appt with you?

This is a bad idea....

CupcakesRamazing

shellperry said:

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

Maybe he will surprise you with divorce papers!

Seriously as the father he has the right to share in the joy! Does he have a birthday soon? Surprise him then!

cbolton19

I feel like you can plan a surprise for him, without it having to be in the delivery room. Maybe plan a big dinner with a pink and blue/double (twin) theme. Then he still gets the surprise without it being so late in the game. I am assuming you will have some more doc appointments now, how are you going to explain extra monitoring without making him nervous? I think surprising the rest of your family is fine (record their reactions!). Regardless of how lucky you are financially, twins is a lot to wrap your head around, and does require financial preparation. I agree with the others. You can still surprise him!

thegingeravenger

You. Can. Not. Be. Serious.

Tell your husband. Having twins is surprising enough without adding in the whole "haha I didn't tell my husband" angle.

If I pulled a stunt like you're thinking about pulling I can almost guarantee as soon as my SO was reassured that the babies and I were fine, I'd be a single woman real quick. Not telling someone something that important is cruel and is the biggest lie by omission I've ever heard of.

Elyse1384

I'm all for surprises (being Team Green and all), but this... not a cool surprise for DH. Definitely tell him ASAP and start doing some big time research.  Twins are wonderful, but a ton of work.  You'll want to be as prepared as possible going into your delivery.  

rachswi

mamavbs said:

Surprise your husband with sex. Not an extra kid!

Better yet, surprise him with sex and then right after tell him you'll have twins!

I'm with @LSRoo - this has to be MUD

Ivyblue92

Wait.. Hold up, stop right there!!
Am I reading this right. You've found out your having twins but your not telling your Husband till you go into labour?
That is absurd. He is the father of your children & has a right to know. The fact your sister knows before your husband to me is a bit disrespectful. If I were your husband & I found out someone knew before I did I'd be most upset. I guess you know him best & will know how he'd react.
I know if I kept that from my OH & told a family member before him he'd be pissed.

KeHill08

shellperry said:

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

That's great that you are financially comfortable, but that's still not a good enough reason not to tell him. It's also really nice you already have two cribs aalready, but again, not a good enough reason. I'm pretty sure he will still be surprised if you told him before you deliver, just as I'm sure you were surprised when your doctor told you. That's just not something you surprise youe husband with then, unless you also want to be surprised with marital issues. I get that you think he would take it well, but that's not a game anyone should play with their husband. Chances are when he finds out you told your sister and not him, it will cause even more problems and animosity between them. I just can't see any of this going well. Just tell him.

oliviaann91

shellperry said:

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

What.

queenwog

This MUD smells really bad.

Elyse1384

shellperry said:

This will be baby 3 and 4 for us I don't think he'll be upset at all more like the surprise of a life time he was so happy when we found out we were having another boy yet he was upset it wasn't a girl. I have told my big sis who is great at keeping her mouth shut because I no she'll get the girly thing the baby girl will need as for the boy we have everything from our old's two boys who are 3 and 4. The only thing I can keep thinking is when he figures out there two is care full what u wish for. Finances wise we are vary lucky that we both have great jobs H owns a vary successful company. We had already been talking about having one more after this one and now it's kinda two birds one stone lol. I no him well enough he won't be upset all just a little shocked.

Sorry, but I just think this is a bad idea.  It may seem cute to see his reaction, but finances are only one issue at play. Twins are also a huge emotional consideration.  They strain of one alone can be difficult on any relationship, but now throw 2 in the mix.  You're going to need help with 2.  I watched my cousin with twins and as amazing of a mother as she is (and what a multi-tasker!) she struggled and it was tough on the marriage for those first few months.  I really think DH has every right and need to prepare in all the ways possible for this huge event.  Just my two cents.  

MargaretC5

This sounds like MUD.

If the US tec did know know there were 2 babies, how did she know the gender of the 2nd one. I did not know you could tell gender from an arm.

modanz1

This is just 100% ridiculous.  

LauraK33

I sincerely hope this is MUD. This is my third pregnancy, we are having twins...

There's literally no way to have a close relationship with your spouse and not share this. I have ultrasounds at every appointment, need to double up on all baby supplies (even though I have two toddlers already), and owe more for prenatal care and the delivery. Also, during delivery most moms of multiples are moved to the operating room in case anything goes south. What about preparing for things like potential bedrest or preterm delivery?

I agree with what others said. If this is even true, I'm sure your head is spinning. I understand not sharing with family but there's really no fair or feasible way to not share with a spouse...