Anyone else throwing their own BABY SHOWER!?!?

Nikia85

Yes I am throwing my own shower! A lot of people are asking why and all that I can tell them is well I really didn't have anyone to do it for me or I really just wanted to do it myself. I really do just want to do it myself. I want to be as hands on as I possibly can with baby E and that it what I am doing. I already have my invites and the colors and the theme! My best friend is getting the cake for me so thats a plus but she is under strict construction from me. I do not want to seem like a control freak which my husband thinks I am just a little, but who can I really trust to give me what I want for our baby but my husband and myself? 

I have been planing this shower since I was about 4 weeks pregnant (yes I knew I was pregnant right away because we planned her). I just want it to be done right and hope people do not look at me like I do not have friends. I have plenty. Great thing they all understand my logic!!

MiracleK

I would never consider throwing my own baby shower. Personally, I find it tacky. You should ask this question on the baby shower board.

FemShep

Nikia85 said:

Yes I am throwing my own shower! A lot of people are asking why and all that I can tell them is well I really didn't have anyone to do it for me or I really just wanted to do it myself. I really do just want to do it myself. I want to be as hands on as I possibly can with baby E and that it what I am doing. I already have my invites and the colors and the theme! My best friend is getting the cake for me so thats a plus but she is under strict construction from me. I do not want to seem like a control freak which my husband thinks I am just a little, but who can I really trust to give me what I want for our baby but my husband and myself? 

I have been planing this shower since I was about 4 weeks pregnant (yes I knew I was pregnant right away because we planned her). I just want it to be done right and hope people do not look at me like I do not have friends. I have plenty. Great thing they all understand my logic!!

I agree with your husband-except I wouldn't call this "a little" control freak-y.

A baby shower is a gift giving event, and is given as a gift itself to the mom/parents to be. You are basically saying to the guests, "You need to buy me stuff." It's rude.

You're also being terribly rude to your kind friend. If she wants to give you a cake, which is very nice, you should only offer an opinion if asked, and then butt out. By giving her "strict construction", you are essentially saying, "I don't trust you to pick out something nice enough for me, so I'm going to make sure it's exactly WHAT I WANT."

And by the way, you shouldn't need to "trust" anyone to give you what you want. If anyone gives you a gift, including a baby shower, the only appropriate response is to say thank you and be grateful.

KonaCoffeeBean

It's incredibly rude to throw your own shower.

CharmBombExplosion

You're not entitled to a baby shower just because you're pregnant.  The party is a gift.  Obviously, do what you want as long as you don't mind that 99% of the people you invite are going to think it's incredible rude and tacky.

missemmawoodhouse

I'm intrigued by the comment that all your friends are asking why you are throwing your own shower. To me it seems like they are side-eyeing this event big time.

I'm not even going to touch the "strict construction" you're giving to the woman who wants to gift you a cake.

Actually...you know what? I call MUD.

delujm0

I really hope this isn't real...and I suspect it's not because who would start a thread just to brag about throwing her own shower?

MUD big time.

wassuphoes

If this isn't MUD, this might be the most narcisisstic post I've ever read on here.

CatsAreShady

Wow. I don't know where to start with this one. The sheer entitlement is staggering.

I HOPE this is muddy-mud-MUD. I really really do.

bbiutmcph

I really really want to believe it's MuD but after spending time on the month boards I don't know. Our "everybody deserves a trophy" society is really sadly full of people like this and lots of "do what you want" encouragers. However OP I'm very embarrassed for you and can say I officially feel bad for your husband who appears to be in agreement you sound like an entitled spoiled brat.

finchfeeder80

How horribly insulting to your friends to basically say that you don't trust them to throw a party in your honor that you think you would enjoy. What a load of entitled, selfish crap. I'm really glad you are not my friend.

IttyBitty2b

This is a mess. Bye

Mommaswizz

Your friend is on "strict supervision" for the cake because you and your DH know what's best for your baby? Did i really read that correctly?? It's a cake, lady. Take a deep breath and loosen up the reigns. You'll have a lot more fun if you don't feel solely responsible for this day.

Perhaps you could order a little "humble pie" instead of a cake?

BlueWaffleSpeshul

Oh I 100% don't think this is MUD. This is the society we live in now. 

csy2947

OP even I think you sound nutty and I rarely agree with some of the other ladies here. Either do everything yourself and call it something else or loosen up the reins. You can't dictate what people do for you/give to you nor should you. You won't do your baby any favors micromanaging every aspect of its life.

KaLikeAWind

As someone who isn't near any friends or family to throw me a shower, this idea of throwing my own shower offends me. Its a party, held in honor of you, by people who love you, to welcome you to the ranks of mothers everywhere. This idea you have is basically you honoring yourself. If I knew you and was invited to this shower, I certainly wouldn't go, nor would I buy you a gift.

Enjoy your party of one.

dchiapella

I'm not against throwing your own shower if the reasons are right: like your friends anticipating attending a shower for you and being excited about it but not wanting your friends or family to spend the money on it. I get that, honestly, my friends are already asking me if I'm having a shower or when it is, etc. so I'll probably hold a tea with close friends and family not a "shower" because I don't want to come across like "hey, buy me something" but I know they want to celebrate baby in a similar fashion. But doing it because you don't trust the people around you to make it 100% perfect and up to your standards is just a blatantly selfish reason? ... Not so good. I say re-evaluate the reason you're having the shower and check the attitude a bit and understand this is NOT A BRIDAL SHOWER. This is NOT for you only, it's to celebrate your baby and your friends are sacrificing their time to be with you on that day and probably spending money on a gift. Again, SO not against throwing your own little baby get together.... but not when it's based solely on misplaced entitlement. 

nofrogs

I might be in the minority here, but I don't feel that it is rude. You are celebrating the birth of your child. I wouldn't personally do it myself, but that is because I am not much of a party planner. 

CharmBombExplosion

nofrogs said:

I might be in the minority here, but I don't feel that it is rude. You are celebrating the birth of your child. I wouldn't personally do it myself, but that is because I am not much of a party planner. 

You are celebrating becoming a mother. Birthdays are for celebrating the birth of a child.

taahira

The first thing you should know about pregnancy, labor and babies, You can't control anything, almost nothing goes to plan all of the time.

wassuphoes

walbs said:

nofrogs said:

I might be in the minority here, but I don't feel that it is rude. You are celebrating the birth of your child. I wouldn't personally do it myself, but that is because I am not much of a party planner. 

You are celebrating becoming a mother. Birthdays are for celebrating the birth of a child.

Yep. I said it over in another shower thread and I'll say it again. Parties before the baby is born are about YOU. Parties after the baby is born are about the baby. If you really believe that you just want to celebrate the baby, you should have a "Meet the Baby!" party instead of a shower, because a shower is entirely about giving presents. And it is rude to throw yourself a party where presents are expected.

soberrysweet

BlueWaffleSpeshul said:

Oh I 100% don't think this is MUD. This is the society we live in now. 

'Merica

Bigboobsmcgee

aleecats

I don't see anything wrong with throwing your own shower if you have good intentions (I.e. Making it a no gift party so that you can celebrate the coming of a beautiful thing) but if you have someone willing and wanting to help LET THEM! And don't control them.... Good lord, I I don't always agree when people cry "etiquette" but really... At least have some common decency and manners! I really hope this was a joke post and this isn't actually how you look at or treat people

NoSugarCoating

aleecats said:

I don't see anything wrong with throwing your own shower if you have good intentions (I.e. Making it a no gift party so that you can celebrate the coming of a beautiful thing) but if you have someone willing and wanting to help LET THEM! And don't control them.... Good lord, I I don't always agree when people cry "etiquette" but really... At least have some common decency and manners! I really hope this was a joke post and this isn't actually how you look at or treat people

By definition, a shower is a gift-giving party. There aren't any "no-gift" showers. 

soberrysweet

NoSugarCoating said:

aleecats said:

I don't see anything wrong with throwing your own shower if you have good intentions (I.e. Making it a no gift party so that you can celebrate the coming of a beautiful thing) but if you have someone willing and wanting to help LET THEM! And don't control them.... Good lord, I I don't always agree when people cry "etiquette" but really... At least have some common decency and manners! I really hope this was a joke post and this isn't actually how you look at or treat people

By definition, a shower is a gift-giving party. There aren't any "no-gift" showers. 

This. It's kind of the whole point of the event. To "shower" the mother to be with gifts to care for her new baby.

PrimRoseMama

Nikia85 said:

Yes I am throwing my own shower! A lot of people are asking why and all that I can tell them is well I really didn't have anyone to do it for me or I really just wanted to do it myself. I really do just want to do it myself. I want to be as hands on as I possibly can with baby E and that it what I am doing. I already have my invites and the colors and the theme! My best friend is getting the cake for me so thats a plus but she is under strict construction from me. I do not want to seem like a control freak which my husband thinks I am just a little, but who can I really trust to give me what I want for our baby but my husband and myself? 

I have been planing this shower since I was about 4 weeks pregnant (yes I knew I was pregnant right away because we planned her). I just want it to be done right and hope people do not look at me like I do not have friends. I have plenty. Great thing they all understand my logic!!

Oh dear... I disagree with anyone throwing a gift giving party for themselves. It just appears kind of desperate? It makes it appear as if you don't have anyone that respects you or loves you enough to honor you with the gift of a shower.

Boonhilde

I've thrown a few showers (for other people, naturally,) and I ALWAYS involved the mom-to-be in the planning process, especially theme wise, color scheme, etc. If you wanted certain things at your shower I don't see why you couldn't let "the planner" know. But needing so much control that you have to throw the thing yourself? I just can't imagine a world where that would be necessary. Wouldn't you rather arrive, sit back, and NOT HAVE TO PLAY HOSTESS? It's exhausting and expensive. I really don't get it. It'd be like going to a nail salon and then doing your nails yourself. Let people pamper you and take care of you! Sit back and enjoy it.

jennylynn103

I'm embarrassed for you, since you apparently don't have the presence of mind to be embarrassed for yourself. If you are truly behaving as you stated in your post, you are being tacky, controlling, and all-around rude.

ChantalGraham

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

wassuphoes

ChantalGraham said:

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

Yeah.......You shouldn't be doing that. Showers are gifts not rights.

Bigboobsmcgee

ChantalGraham said:

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

Then you don't get one. How do people not understand this?

CharmBombExplosion

ChantalGraham said:

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

A shower is a gift. You aren't entitled to one.

CatsAreShady

ChantalGraham said:

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

If you don't have any friends or family near by, who are you inviting to your shower?

Ditto to everything else said. A baby shower isn't an entitlement, it's a gift.

YogaSandy

CatsAreShady said:

ChantalGraham said:

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

If you don't have any friends or family near by, who are you inviting to your shower?

Ditto to everything else said. A baby shower isn't an entitlement, it's a gift.

This is what I was thinking. If there is no one close to you, who is going to come? Are you going to invite virtual strangers to come give you presents?

allrightmeow

CatsAreShady said:

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

If you don't have any friends or family near by, who are you inviting to your shower?

Ditto to everything else said. A baby shower isn't an entitlement, it's a gift.

 Get the eff out of here with your logic! We want gifts! 

CatsAreShady

allrightmeow said:

CatsAreShady said:

I am throwing my own shower simply because no one offered to throw me one. I don't have many friends where I live or family. My husband's family lives close to us but no one seem to care. If I was in my hometown, I think my family would have been more than willing to throw me one. I honestly don't mind but sometimes help would be nice.

If you don't have any friends or family near by, who are you inviting to your shower?

Ditto to everything else said. A baby shower isn't an entitlement, it's a gift.

 Get the eff out of here with your logic! We want gifts! 



Edited to add: oh you said GIFTS and not GIFS. Lololol.

beckles112

I have people who want to help with it, but if it's anything like my bridal shower was I'll end up doing all the work.

TheRedHeather

BrooklynBroussard said:

It's really hard to address this subject without sounding rude. But I will say this: I am extremely thankful that my mother taught me proper etiquette when I was young. I have a young relation that married into my family who came from a broken home. It is very obvious that her absent mother did not teach her etiquette. It probably comes off to a lot of people as self absorbed and selfish, but I really pity the fact that she doesn't know better. Hopefully OP what you get from this discussion is that you can choose the more dignified route, even if it means you don't get as many gifts. I have seen how much people with poor etiquette stick out to their friends and family, and I really just don't want that to happen to you.

=D>

yogagangstar

I moved to LA and Vegas from Germany. Actually I still have no best girlfriend in the US. Not sure if I will get a shower, but I hope for it. I was thinking about asking a friend to do it, but this is kind if rude too

fitmama89

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS POST? Just to inform everyone that you're SO special and throwing yourself your own tacky shower? Seems legit.
You should totes assign people which gifts to buy you! Would totally fit your whole bossy/entitled theme.