2nd Trimester

Anyone else throwing their own BABY SHOWER!?!?

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Re: Anyone else throwing their own BABY SHOWER!?!?

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  • What´s interesting to note is that I've actually been asked a handful of times about my shower and where I will be throwing it, which leads me to believe that many people are unaware of the rule that it's apparently in poor taste to throw your own shower. Heck, I didn't even know about it until I joined this board, so I'm wondering what weight it really holds outside of the internet. Just a thought to chew on...

    With that said, I'm not having a baby shower, as it's not really part of the culture here. So this isn't at all a justification of my situation. Just thought I'd throw out another perspective being that a lot of people don't notice (or perhaps even care about?) this sort of thing.

    Happy shower planning (however you intend to do it...or not!)
  • People do realize that you can accept gifts without having an actual shower, right? It's like these people who want to throw their own shower think that if people aren't specifically invited to a gift giving event then they won't bother. Newsflash - if they won't get you a gift without a shower invitation, then they probably won't want to come to your shower. The people who are close to you and who want to give you presents will do so regardless of whether there's an official party.

    Uh oh. More logic on the way. ;)

    From what I've read on this subject, many women seem to put a baby shower on the same level as a wedding or actually birthing a baby. They feel they are entitled to have people buy stuff for their baby. I know someone who has had 5 baby showers, with the last 4 kids being only a year or so apart. I thought it was tacky and no I didn't attend.
  • fitmama89 said:

    WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS POST? Just to inform everyone that you're SO special and throwing yourself your own tacky shower? Seems legit.
    You should totes assign people which gifts to buy you! Would totally fit your whole bossy/entitled theme.

    Maybe she wants the shower so she can celebrate her pregnancy.. Ever think of that one?? not everyone is gunna be greedy and beg for gifts. 

    ALl the rude and snarky comments are really pathetic. Grow up
  • no but that's all i need to do. You're just making yourself look bad.
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  • I'm not having a shower due to my family/husbands family being all over the country. We're going to include some family and close friends into our baby shopping and go to dinner. I feel so lucky to be pregnant in the first place after trying for 3.5 years... I'm fine with not having a shower. My daughter will be loved and celebrated by so many wonderful people... that's good enough for me. I hope you ladies have beautiful showers!
  • A lot of crazy negative comments here! But yes, just keep in mind a shower is a gift. My mom is throwing my shower and I am very much involved. We compromise. She is excited to do this for me and I pick colors/themes. We send each other ideas throughout the day. My parents just want to make me happy. But at the end of the day it is a gift to me and I am grateful for the shower. You can have an opinion without being rude. Maybe your friend would like to throw you one? You can always plan together. It's ok to loosen the reigns with a party. Of course when you're little one arrives that is all you mama. Good luck!
  • I am SO SAD I was on vacation and missed this peach of a thread.

    The answer is NO. Do not throw your own shower. That is by far the rudest thing you can do. Even more rude than having a second shower IMO.

    You're going to spend so much money on this shower that you could have just purchased all the gifts you want anyways.
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  • I am SO SAD I was on vacation and missed this peach of a thread.

    The answer is NO. Do not throw your own shower. That is by far the rudest thing you can do. Even more rude than having a second shower IMO.

    You're going to spend so much money on this shower that you could have just purchased all the gifts you want anyways.

    Why is this thread a peach? It looks rather chaotic. Vacation sounds much more appealing.

    However, good point on showers costing money and that a better alternative would be to use that money instead to buy things for the baby.
  • I am SO SAD I was on vacation and missed this peach of a thread.

    The answer is NO. Do not throw your own shower. That is by far the rudest thing you can do. Even more rude than having a second shower IMO.

    You're going to spend so much money on this shower that you could have just purchased all the gifts you want anyways.

    Why is this thread a peach? It looks rather chaotic. Vacation sounds much more appealing.

    However, good point on showers costing money and that a better alternative would be to use that money instead to buy things for the baby.
    BECAUSE it's chaotic. People love that shit on here.


  • BECAUSE it's chaotic. People love that shit on here.

    Hahaha yes, I'm noticing!
  • I don't understand why everyone is so jumpy on this subject. I planned my own shower, along with my sister but I was totally involved. I made my own cake, did my own invites, centerpieces and cooked our own food... organized everything. It had nothing to do with being a control freak, it's just that it was the way it worked out. I'm a teacher, so the creative part in me just had a ball. I bought the prizes because I knew who my guests were and I wanted to cater to them. I looked up the games that were going to be played and who were the ones playing it. This is a party and if you feel you can do it, why not. There's no rule, and none of my family or friends thought it was tacky that I did it.
  • CEB37CEB37 member
    delujm0 said:



    Annie121 said:

    There's no rule, and none of my family or friends thought it was tacky that I did it.

    I've been trying to not comment on this thread again so it would just die, but people keep getting involved and it's getting ridiculous.

    There is a rule actually. It's called "etiquette" and it dictates that it's inappropriate for the guest of honor to throw his or her own gift-giving event. Period.

    Additionally, your friends and family may well have thought it was tacky but didn't want to say that to your face and upset you. That's the beauty of Internet strangers, we will tell you the truth because we don't actually know you and aren't afraid to hurt your feelings.

    A close friend of mine recently threw her own shower. I politely tried to talk her out of it several times, offering to host it myself, but she wasn't having it. Multiple guests came to me to ask if she was really throwing it herself because of how weird and inappropriate it was. No one actually told her it was rude or inappropriate or tacky because they love her and didn't want to insult her. She's a close friend and I would have gotten her a gift even without a shower so I just went and kept my mouth shut. Which is probably what at least some of your guests did as well.
    Yep yep.
  • I don't think the OP has posted since her original post. Did she post this and leave (flee) thebump?
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  • edited May 2015
    Annie121 said:

    I don't understand why everyone is so jumpy on this subject. I planned my own shower, along with my sister but I was totally involved. I made my own cake, did my own invites, centerpieces and cooked our own food... organized everything. It had nothing to do with being a control freak, it's just that it was the way it worked out. I'm a teacher, so the creative part in me just had a ball. I bought the prizes because I knew who my guests were and I wanted to cater to them. I looked up the games that were going to be played and who were the ones playing it. This is a party and if you feel you can do it, why not. There's no rule, and none of my family or friends thought it was tacky that I did it.

    I'm honestly starting to think these opinions are unique to pregnancy boards because no one I have mentioned this to (women who have just had babies, women with kids of all ages, Americans here in Paris and of course friends in the States that come from a variety of backgrounds) have no clue what I am talking about in regard to "etiquette."

    When I explain that no one has offered to throw a shower (no boo hoo here, just it is what it is) and that it would be in poor taste to organize my own (also I'm lazy), it is always met with furrowed eyebrows and the question, "in poor taste according to whom?" And then I explain that I read it on the Internet and I lose all credibility! So, yeah it makes sense that you threw your party (your ideas were very thoughtful to your guests) without any judgment because I'm starting to think people in real life are just to busy to care and are real friends who don't talk about you behind your back (I'm sorry but who does this past the age of 14?)
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