Does being pregnant make you want to have more children? — The Bump
June 2015 Moms

Does being pregnant make you want to have more children?

We started our family late and I had the mindset of "one child at the most"--I didn't think we could afford to have a big family and didn't even think I could get pregnant, so it was a happy surprise when it happened this time. Anyway since I've been pregnant I've been fantasizing off and on about having more children after this, impractical as it is given our circumstances. I'm 40, my husband's still in school, and I'm going back to school for my doctorate in the fall, so having even this one is a stretch for our finances and limited time. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones making me feel more maternal, or because this pregnancy isn't that bad I've gained confidence that I could possibly survive another one? Wanting to have a girl (this one is a boy) may be part of it too. Anyone else find being pregnant makes them want more children than they originally intended?
CillyMamaalcrimminskbbtah
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Re: Does being pregnant make you want to have more children?

  • Thanks! I go back and forth because there are definitely times I want to be done being pregnant too...I want to lose all the weight I gained and throw out my maternity clothes!!! But I also find myself wishing I could have two or three children...if I just have one and something happens to him, I'd be left with zero:( Also it seems like a gamble to put all your hopes and expectations on one child. What if he isn't much like me in personality or doesn't want to make anything of his life...now that he's not just an abstract idea of a future child but a specific human who moves and everything, I'm more aware that he can't be perfect and great at everything. If you have a big family, you'll have a good mix of talents, interests and abilities which would be fun.
    MJMum524
  • This pregnancy has made me want to be done. I have an 11-year-old as well though. I'm d.o.n.e.

    With that being said finances and timing are never perfect; go with your heart Mama!
    Sammy Kshaq818PhoenixFrances
  • This pregnancy has definitely made me think about my next pregnancy! If we decide to have another one I want to make sure I don't have to work full time and I can have more than 12 weeks maternity leave! But I do have days when I say I'm never doing this again.
    virginiaunicorn11jesscmvheidiiwafrankengibbs
  • One and done. At least for now, haha
    pcr228KaLikeAWindbtm013
  • I wanna wait and see how my labor and delivery goes, my pregnancy has been rather good. But dh is getting really excited and is like let's have 3 more! I'm not so sure about that just quite yet.
    obryana6219jesscmvheidiiwa
  • I don't think that pregnancy in itself makes me want to have more - I can't say it's my favorite experience (even though I don't have much to complain about), but seeing DS1 growing up and through certain stages certainly did. Now that we are having our second, I think we need to just see how it goes..
    heidiiwafrankengibbsvirginiaunicorn11
  • One and done. That's the mindset right now. I feel bad about the siblings part, but I'm also getting 'old' so unless I want to turn around and have another in the next 3 or so years... Not so much
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    karaelaine1991heidiiwadevyns2nd
  • I'm sure once this baby stops being a "baby" at like age 2 I will start itching for another. But right now? 100% no.




    Totally agree with this. We've always had a preference for two children, but my mind can only deal with one baby at a time.
    Coffee Bean Born 6/13/15.
    2nd round exp 8/20/18.
    Meow.
    karaelaine1991Mommaswizz
  • FTM and this pregnancy has been rough. It's made me want to be one and done as well. Who knows though once the baby is here.
    heidiiwaklkonwiKaLikeAWind
  • I've always wanted a big family. I'm one of four, and both my parents came from families with 6 or more members. I've told DH that I'd rather just do it rapid fire lol. We'll see what I really think after LO is here since I'm a FTM. Even though this pregnancy hasn't been a breeze, it hasn't been the worst thing I've experienced. I could do this a few more times.
    Met: 11/2/2004
    Dating: 3/24/2005
    Married: 11/5/2011
    Eleanor Leeann: 5/14/2015
    Baby # 2 Due: 5/17/2016
    karaelaine1991
  • amark11 said:

    FTM here, and I agree with you, OP.  Having a relatively easy pregnancy so far, knock on wood, definitely makes me want more - also the reality of being pregnant and realizing what it is and isn't.  I keep saying, "one, maybe two more" and DH keeps saying, "let's get through one and see how things go." 

    I will be 32 in a couple weeks, and we always said 32 was a good age to have kids - it worked out remarkably well.  Now I am wishing I was a bit younger so we could have two more before 35, but what can ya do.  Guess we still could, but whoa.  Life is what happens while we are busy making plans, right?

    I like how you said "the reality of being pregnant and realizing what it is and isn't". That's key to me too. I think I was always afraid of pregnancy and childbirth, and thought my body needed to be ultra pure from all junk food or whatever to support life...my image of it was rather unrealistic. Although I've tried to eat healthy, no one is perfect and being pregnant doesn't mean you have to give up everything you like for 9 months. Realizing pregnancy is a lot less scary and more like normal life than I previously thought, and seeing my DH come to accept the idea of my pregnancy and our impending parenthood, makes me wish I'd gotten an earlier start on having children. What was I so afraid of? It seems silly now that I thought it was so impossible. The obstacles have fallen away, at least so far, so I guess that's what makes me wish for more children, though at this stage of life, it's fine if this works out to be the only one. One is better than none!
    karaelaine1991obryana6219MixedCurlsXovirginiaunicorn11
  • I'm not a huge fan of pregnancy, but that's not why I am done after 2. Part of me would love 3, but I had a bad delivery experience with my first (read my first post, if you dare) and it's causing enough anxiety that sometimes I wish we stopped at 1. Maybe baby #2 will be easier. After DS, my husband told me "If you never want to go through that again, I will never ask you for more children." Clearly, it was traumatic for him too. Hopefully this time will be more joyful and I can entertain the thought of 3.
    karaelaine1991CillyMama
  • It also occurs to me that even though my pregnancy has been easier than I expected so far, parenthood may be harder than I expect! So I guess I'll have to hold off on making any big decisions until the baby is a little older and we can see the impact on our family.
    MixedCurlsXovirginiaunicorn11
  • It's seriously so hard to say with the hardest weeks still ahead. This pregnancy has been so easy in comparison to so many people i've known. That said, it's still very hard and takes a toll on me every day. I've always dreamed of having 4 and DH wants 2 (provided we had one of each). I've said a million times "ONE AND DONE" this pregnancy but I know i'll come back for more. My brothers are my best friends so i couldnt imagine my kid not having some siblings to play with. DH is one of 3 boys too so I know he wants to see our kids form friendships too. I'm hoping 3 will be the magic number. I'll be 31 in august so there's still some time to think it over
    karaelaine1991LaurenAnn0405
  • mellymar said:

    One and done. That's the mindset right now. I feel bad about the siblings part, but I'm also getting 'old' so unless I want to turn around and have another in the next 3 or so years... Not so much

    If I recall, I think you and I were in the same boat - not totally sure we wanted children to begin with? So for me, the decision was like, "zero kids? Or two kids?" So now it's like, I guess it's two (if everything goes fine healthwise).
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWindLaurenAnn0405virginiaunicorn11
  • I always wanted 4 and DH said either 3 or 4.  I'm a STM so I know what childbirth and parenting a toddler is about (for the most part since every child is different!) but it will be a new experience seeing what having more than one child will be like because before DH and I could just focus all of our attention on DD and now our attention will be split.  I love being pregnant and have been blessed with two easy pregnancies (so far) but I don't necessarily think that being pregnant has made me want to have more since I already knew I wanted more
    karaelaine1991orlakir
  • Being pregnant this time has done the opposite for me... LO will be IT (we also have a 12 year old daughter) very grateful for this little boy to come but let me tell you, pregnant at 34 vs 23 when I had my daughter has taken its toll. DH would like one more, I told him sure if he carries the next one
    Sammy K
  • Like OP, I definitely have baby fever. Does that make us crazy? X_X

    Like most of you ladies I thought preganancy would be so much different than it is. Now that I've experienced it (mostly) I now know how easy it actually is.

    @heidiiwa maybe our feelings for more kids is stemming from excitement to meet our LO? Idk. For me this pregnancy has brought on feelings of what it'll be like to be a family and my vision of our family includes more kids.

    Knowing that I'm going to be a mom of one brings on thoughts of when I'll have more. I really don't want my kids to be far apart in age, but a big reality of life is finances. I say if you can afford another & have established a routine with your family(work schedules, daycare, etc) go for it!

    I knew the timing of this pregnancy was perfect & I'm sure I'll know again in the future.


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    heidiiwa
  • This is my 6th and FINAL pregnancy!!!! I was good with the 5 I already had, but life has a funny way way working out sometimes. I am forever grateful that I get to be pregnant one last time...with a BOY! My oldest is nearing 14, and up until this point was the only boy. He got super lucky and had 4 sisters that followed him, ha. I am one of 3, and my fiancé has a sister. While my children are not his, he does have a daughter of his own. So, collectively we will have 7 kiddos, and we are pretty content with what we have. I feel like physically, my body can't handle anymore.
    karaelaine1991heidiiwa
  • This pregnancy has totally drained me........ But I know I don't want my child to be an only. I just mostly worry about paying student loans....... Should probably start hitting those hard!
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWindheidiiwa
  • I always wanted 2 and we are expecting boy/girl twins so that has worked out. But now I find myself wanting an age difference so we will probably have another ( ask me in 2 months when I'm probably ready to die) Everyone seems to have a baby and then when the baby is 1.5 the itch for the second one shows up. I'm 29 and wasn't expecting to have 2 kids by this age that's for sure- life has a funny way of working out sometime. People are having children much older these days because things like careers take the front seat. You will know if you want another one when the time is right- I think ;)

    I think if I had a singleton with my first, I would be happy with 2.  And honestly, we could have been happy with our two boys. But I always had a feeling of one more. I had my twins at 28. They will be 4.5 years old when my girl is born. My boys were hard! It was around 3.5 years old when I thought to myself that I could do it again. Plus, I always wanted to enjoy a singleton. I felt like twins were a whole different ballgame than a singleton that I didn't get to enjoy a lot of things...like cuddling or holding a baby for hours on end, or breastfeeding. I was just so busy with keeping the twins, feed, diapered and happy. I hope this doesn't mean to scare you at all! My twins are the best things to ever happen to me and I love seeing their friendship develop. 
    karaelaine1991Mommaswizz
  • I'm only 23, so I still have plenty of time to decide how many. Some days, I feel great and am like, "oh yeah! Let's do this thing. Pregnancy is awesome. I could totally keep up with the Duggars" and there are days (like today) where I'm like, "Oh heck no!"

    I'll probably have one or two more and be done.
    karaelaine1991virginiaunicorn11
  • btm013 said:

    FTM and this pregnancy has been rough. It's made me want to be one and done as well. Who knows though once the baby is here.

    I feel you on that...

    As soon as we found out we were having a little boy, though, I was like "oh, okay... Now I need a little girl to complete my set."

    Haha!

    I think I'll be more prepared next time and not try to tough things out with HG, and give myself a break more often with my job and career goals. It'll be hard, but worth it I think.
    :-)
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWind
  • When I met my husband 15 years ago we always said we wanted a big family, because both of us come from big families. But now having a 5 year old and another on the way and me in my mid thirties and him in his early 40s, I'm not really wanting anymore. He on the other hand wants one more. I have intentions of having my tubes tied after I deliver, but really want DH to be supportive of the decision so there is no resentment later. So, now I don't know what to do.

  • Yes, I'm in a somewhat similar situation, except DH is definitely more into being One and Done. I like the idea of only one and agree it makes sense at our age and with our lifestyle. I even used to lurk on TB OAD board (which hasn't been too active lately), to read all the positive stories. 
    But I've warned DH that the biological clock tends to override that kind of logic. I too have found pregnancy to be pretty mellow and it makes me a little sad that this could be my only experience. And I've found myself feeling kinda sentimental over things like sibling baby announcements. 
    I also would like to avoid unecessarily hoarding maternity clothes and baby items, so hopefully it won't be too long before we have clarity on what direction to go. :)
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    KaLikeAWindheidiiwa
  • With first baby I knew we would have more, after second baby I still felt like our family wasn't "complete", but pregnant with this one has left me really tired. I might brave one more, but I don't have that incomplete feeling like before :).
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  • I hate being pregnant! For me it is absolutely a means to an end. DH and I only planned on having 2. Since I am not allowed to get my tubes tied while I am in for my c/s DH will eventually get the snip snip done...The next 5 weeks are going to be torture. I am so uncomfortable...I have GD (again) and just generally miserable. I can't imagine doing this again...if we decide we really do want another down the road we will adopt.

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  • Maybe it is the hormones, but I can't stop thinking about getting pregnant again and the next baby. My son just turned 2. He is very active and a real handful, but also a joy. Is it crazy that I am thinking of TTC 6-9 months after this one to have a closer age gap between #2 and #3?

    DH and I are both only children raised by single moms and I am not sure if that makes us both want a big family. 
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