WWF14 Do? (NBR)

JackieP1023

I offered to throw a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee. We originally planned to do it Memorial Day Weekend, at my mom and dad's, because we will be up for my sister's high school graduation (Friday night). Since, we have realized that my cousin graduates on Saturday, and his party will be Saturday night (he is 4ish hours from my parents). We (bride and I) were still planning to have a shower, perhaps on Sunday afternoon, in bride's hometown (basically right in between my parents, and my cousin's). My mom is pushing to not have a shower at all. My sisters are indifferent, bride is still interested. WWF14 do? Having it another weekend isn't an option unless my sisters host and I don't attend-we are already stretching our financials with 2 trips next year.

JackieP1023

I feel weird about telling the bride 'sorry, other people don't think it will work out', when I am willing to do it. But, I also don't want to make my mom (and my dad, who is the 'peacemaker') mad.

narcissticbeaut

i understand not wanting to make mom and dad mad, but you already told her you'd do it. it seems like she's looking forward to it. so if you can still make it work, why not? it'll be a fun weekend of celebrations!

JackieP1023

This makes me feel better for wanting to stick with it! To be fair, my dad suggested a brunch with the girls (my sisters, my mom and me) instead. I was hoping to get a good 'family recipe' collection to give as part of the gift. Is it weird to send an invitation-type thing with 'in lieu of a shower, please send your favorite family recipe to be made into a book for the bride'? Then we could do brunch, and still get the recipes.

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shellbell3845

JackieP1023 said:

This makes me feel better for wanting to stick with it! To be fair, my dad suggested a brunch with the girls (my sisters, my mom and me) instead. I was hoping to get a good 'family recipe' collection to give as part of the gift. Is it weird to send an invitation-type thing with 'in lieu of a shower, please send your favorite family recipe to be made into a book for the bride'? Then we could do brunch, and still get the recipes.

I don't think this is weird...I don't know if you even have to talk about a shower. Send letters explaining what you're doing and why. Include a self addressed stamped envelope. I think it would be great!

My mom did a family cookbook for my sister and I for Christmas. There are recipes written by my great grandma and grandma, as well as by my mom. I treasure it.

JackieP1023

I wanted to convey a 'welcome to the family' type message by inviting our side of the family (which can admittedly be intimidating-I have 13 aunts). I am fine with only a handful showing up--in fact, I was thinking it would be easier to host a handful vs a big group!

iwubrory

JackieP1023 said:

This makes me feel better for wanting to stick with it! To be fair, my dad suggested a brunch with the girls (my sisters, my mom and me) instead. I was hoping to get a good 'family recipe' collection to give as part of the gift. Is it weird to send an invitation-type thing with 'in lieu of a shower, please send your favorite family recipe to be made into a book for the bride'? Then we could do brunch, and still get the recipes.

Are you saying you want people to send recipes instead of throwing the shower for her?

JackieP1023

Not necessarily 'instead of'-poor choice of words on my part. But sort of as a happy medium (between having and not having). I am so conflicted over this! I want to continue with it, and feel like it is the right thing to do. The problem lies in the fact that I live 12+ hours away, so bringing anything together without (relatively) local help will be difficult.

ramfan05

Could you do a small brunch at someone's house or at a restaurant and still invite the people you were planning to ask for recipes? them maybe ask that if they can't attend that they still send a recipe to be part of the celebration?

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iwubrory

JackieP1023 said:

Not necessarily 'instead of'-poor choice of words on my part. But sort of as a happy medium (between having and not having). I am so conflicted over this! I want to continue with it, and feel like it is the right thing to do. The problem lies in the fact that I live 12+ hours away, so bringing anything together without (relatively) local help will be difficult.

I wouldn't feel like a collection of recipes is a happy medium, especially if someone had already offered to throw me a shower. Are your sisters unwilling to help? It seems kinda odd to me that your mom doesn't want her future DIL to have a shower.

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shellbell3845

I didn't mean to do the recipes in place of a shower.

JackieP1023

Okay, here is an update on this whole situation. Apparently, the bride DOESN'T want the shower, at least as we have it right now (memorial day weekend, with 2 graduations). She was too afraid to say anything to me, so she made my brother call my dad, who called me. So this info isn't coming from my mom as I originally thought (which is shocking). I tried to call my brother to say 'it's okay, you should have just talked to me instead of going through Dad', but he won't answer. I'd also like to know if they flat don't want a shower at all, or if they just don't want it that weekend. My other 2 sisters might (possibly) host on a different weekend, I just won't be able to be there, which isn't a huge deal.

Ugh. Drama.

JackieP1023

@golfergirl08‌ My dad actually talked to my brother, and told him to call me, so I did finally talk to him. The whole thing was just weird, in how it was all handled. I'm really not a scary person!! It sucks a little bit, not being able to do this, especially being so far away, and not around much, but I get it. We'll do something else small, with just my sisters and mom, like a brunch or a few hours shopping or something. I'm thinking I'll still write a letter to my aunts and have them send recipes, and make that part of their wedding gift.

This whole thing sure caused a lot of inner turmoil for me today, and apparently for no reason!