As previous posts have said it might just take longer to sink in for them.
My DH is amazing, taking over all the chores before I even have a chance to do them and has been cooking dinners being very patient when I can't stand the smell of anything cooking. But I think me being so much worse in this pregnancy than my first might be why he can tell I really need the help..
Mine was great until recently. I've been throwing up pretty much nonstop, & he says I should have expected this and "you wanted this" so I should just suffer in silence and not bother him about it. He shouldn't get woken up in the middle of the night and he shouldn't have to tolerate my water bottle in the bed so I can drink little sips at night. Last night he walked out because I watch tv in the middle of the night when I'm sick and can't sleep. I don't know how to get him to understand - I want the baby, not the sickness. Some women don't throw up all day everyday, how was I to know I would? I'm on pelvic rest so he bitches & wants blow jobs but then I puke. If I don't like something he's said or done its "just hormones". I hope I dont kill him before the baby comes.
Last time I was pregnant, we would read books or the baby center emails together so he knew what baby was up to. It gave us time to be together and I think made him feel more connected to it from the beginning.
This time, we are in survival mode! He still remembers things from the last time, which helps. He hasn't been to an appointment yet, so I think it will help when he sees the baby.
Overall, he is awesome! He cooks dinners, helps with dishes& laundry, and cleans the litter box. I still have to do the regular cleaning, but he usually doesn't complain when it takes me forever.
I feel like I get sarcastic sympathy. Like I'll say I'm exhausted and I need a nap before we anything that takes a lot of effort and he'll give me a half second eye roll and say ok. This btw is a huge improvement from a couple of weeks ago when he told me to calm down because I told him we have a lot to do/go over before this baby arrives. But lately, he'll "joke" that its all in my head or that I'm exaggerating and when I call him out on it, he says " I was just kidding baby!" No you weren't...
Luckily my husband has been super understanding and thoughtful. He understands that I don't feel well pretty much all the time, and doesn't expect me to clean or work on the house (it's just a plus if I manage to do one load of laundry).
He also eats sandwiches for dinner every night without complaint (I can't stand the smell of anything cooking) and picks up the cleaning slack on weekends.
He'll also pick up whatever I am craving on his way home from work!
I can tell he's a little bit frustrated with the situation but he doesn't blame me for it or get mad. Very thankful for the man!
My husband says that since I've been pregnant he hasn't been feeling well at all. It's sympathy pregnancy symptoms lol. He's hoping they missed a twin so I won't have to be pregnant again since I refuse to have an only child.
Yes, these posts make me angry. I also don't really like the ones where women say that they're really grateful for their supportive spouse or lucky that their husband is actually excited/helpful/caring through the pregnancy. It's like thanking the dad for "babysitting" the kids. Nope - that's just their job. You don't get gold stars for doing what you're supposed to do. I'm very sorry to all the ladies out there with unsupportive partners. Were all these guys equal partners before the pregnancy and then just changed?
It's a mixed bag. My DH is great in a crisis, so when I'm super sick or puking (which is pretty rare), he's awesome. But when it's fatigue or low-level nausea he's less understanding. He cooks & we share chores, but he gets irritated when I'm not feeling up to doing my part (unless I look like I'm about to puke!).
I'm also on pelvic rest & he's super bitter about no sex. Honestly I couldn't care less b/c I feel so tired/cruddy most of the time, but he's not happy about that.
I'm not getting doted on but he's taking care of all the stuff I'll throw up doing. It's my 3rd kid so it really feels like struggle survivor mode to get through all the stuff we have to do to finish our days successfully.
I honestly don't think I could stay with someone who was cruel to me when I was pregnant. It really shows a lack of respect, and without respect, how can you have love?
I honestly don't think I could stay with someone who was cruel to me when I was pregnant. It really shows a lack of respect, and without respect, how can you have love?
It seems like there's a spectrum - from great, to somewhat clueless but trying, to a mix of understanding and yet not understanding, to totally insensitive, to complete a-holes. I think you can probably work through it with most of these types of behavior, but maybe not the last.
Someone else asked if these men were equal partners at home beforehand, and I would speculate, probably not. It seems like so many women bear the biggest brunt of at-home work willingly (if sometimes resentfully) that when they are unable to do that work their partners are bitter about it. This worries me for down the road, because the implication is that these women will then take on even more household work, when the baby is born.
I just don't have the time, energy or will to do it all at home. DH and I share household work. He's not perfect, and isn't always the most sensitive person, but there's never been an expectation in our house that I would do all the work, so there's no basis for him now to be pissed if I don't. We'll have to readjust again when the baby is here, but we began as we mean to continue - by sharing the load.
@carrieoz_76 I hope the gender politics are getting better. Personally, my husband and I keep things pretty balanced. I am the primary breadwinner, but he also works full time. We share all household chores. I cook because I enjoy it, he tends to do dishes and take out the garbage, we both clean together, and do our own laundry. This is also typical of almost all the couples we socialize with. I think men are "getting it" more these days. It frustrates me that there are still so many guys who seem stuck in the 50s. Personally, I wasn't ever attracted to a guy like that or wanted to be in a relationship with traditional gender roles. But, I respect the other women who want that homemaker role. I just worry that it results in the type of treatment women are posting on this thread. Hopefully there are plenty of men who view themselves as both the provider and nurturer of the wife/partner who is carrying their unborn child and keeping their home.
That's true. My husband has been the main cook for years (I cook 2/week typically) so it hasn't been a huge stretch for him to take on packing lunches and always cleaning up after dinner.
I think the most important thing is empathy. About 8 years ago my husband tore his ACL and had total reconstructive surgery. He's also broken his wrist twice...I stepped up and did what I needed to do to take care of him and keep things running when he wasn't able to do certain things. It was sometimes stressful, but it had to be done. And I loved him, so I wasn't mean about it. I view pregnancy as the same: temporary illness/disability type thing and you have to come together during that time.
Yes, these posts make me angry. I also don't really like the ones where women say that they're really grateful for their supportive spouse or lucky that their husband is actually excited/helpful/caring through the pregnancy. It's like thanking the dad for "babysitting" the kids. Nope - that's just their job. You don't get gold stars for doing what you're supposed to do. I'm very sorry to all the ladies out there with unsupportive partners. Were all these guys equal partners before the pregnancy and then just changed?
---end quote----- It isn't that I am giving him gold stars for doing things he should be doing (and I agree- he should be helping)... it is just a matter of being grateful for those things that I have in my helpful spouse when I see how others are being mistreated. I agree that my DH should be helping and filling in but I am appreciative that he does it so well. He is going the extra mile and I do thank him because he is making this so much better for me.
Yes, these posts make me angry. I also don't really like the ones where women say that they're really grateful for their supportive spouse or lucky that their husband is actually excited/helpful/caring through the pregnancy. It's like thanking the dad for "babysitting" the kids. Nope - that's just their job. You don't get gold stars for doing what you're supposed to do. I'm very sorry to all the ladies out there with unsupportive partners. Were all these guys equal partners before the pregnancy and then just changed?
---end quote----- It isn't that I am giving him gold stars for doing things he should be doing (and I agree- he should be helping)... it is just a matter of being grateful for those things that I have in my helpful spouse when I see how others are being mistreated. I agree that my DH should be helping and filling in but I am appreciative that he does it so well. He is going the extra mile and I do thank him because he is making this so much better for me.
Sorrynotsorry my DH is wonderful, loving, and supportive to me and baby. If you think that it is "just his job" then clearly we aren't reading the same thread. It seems a lot of the men mentioned don't think they are obligated to be there for their pregnant wife/partner.
Hell yeah I'm thankful for my husband and his help. I'm under no illusions, especially after reading a thread like this, that every husband is as helpful and kind as he is. I'm so glad we chose to go through life together. I think that's a good thing to feel thankful for your partner.
All good points on the being grateful for a supportive husband. I should have phrased my post differently. I don't think we should thank our husbands for being excited or "all in" on the pregnancy. That's what they signed up for. But, I am thankful that I have found such a good partner. And I definitely thank my husband for driving to the store at 8:30 at night to get me ice cream.
I have hyperemesis and my husband has seen or heard me puke 10-30 times a day since I was 5 weeks (I am 12 weeks now) so he doesn't usually roll his eyes. He has on occasion made comments like "of course you are sick" when I can't attend an outing or something but I am trying to put it in perspective that he is likely as frustrated as I am with being so sick - things we normally used to do as part of our routine are super interrupted and non existent right now - and I am hormonal and sensitive.
I know it's hard for him to hear me complain all.the.time so I try to keep my griping in check. I also do my best to say lots of extra "thank yous" for the million ways he has pitched in since I have been so sick, because he is picking up all my slack.
It did help to have him sit in on an appointment with the doc where she reiterated a lot of what I was going through with the HG. Something about hearing it from a medical professional and not just "whiney me" made it more legit for him.
Worse comes to worse, have the kind of relationship where I can tell him if he is being an insensitive ars, and he usually apologizes.
I'm sorry that some of your partners aren't treating you ladies well. I hope it gets better because you don't deserve that.
Hubby has been very supportive and sympathetic so far. He isn't the best at maintaining the house like I would, but he does try. He has been a wonderful partner always and I am forever thankful to have him in my life. We have been together for 9 years now and are extremely in tune with each other, going through this together has brought us even closer, something I didn't even think was possible. I have been consciously trying to thank him and make sure that he knows I appreciate his patience and make him feel as loved as he is making me feel.
DH has been a little meh about this pregnancy (it was worse with DD, so I think he was a little bit "well, this is better than it was). But last night, he saw me throw up, pee my pants, and deal with horrible hip/leg cramps all at the same time. He suddenly became way more caring and sympathetic.
Marian Abigail :: born 9-16-2012 via emergency C/S
All of these responses are very saddening. My husband and I both planned on this pregnancy (our first). When we first ever talked about having kids, I told him we would try when he's ready to. We've been together 3 years, married two, and you could tell when he was ready, playing with our friends' kids. He finally told me and we got pregnant right away. He is nothing but supportive and loving. He fixes me snacks and gives me massages. He never ever treats me poorly and that has been since the beginning, always treating me like his queen. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful man who cannot wait for this baby. I'm sorry to hear so many men are barely supportive for all you wonderful women.
I'm so glad I found this thread! My DH is far from sympathetic, and I too get the "YOU wanted this", whenever I mention not feeling great. We both decided to try for a baby, but now he acts as though he's angry at me for becoming pregnant. He never talks to me unless I start up a conversation, he never touches me unless I touch him first, no hugs, no kisses. He makes up plans for weekends without talking to me about it, and I just found out that he will be away the entire weekend with his friends, and I didn't even find it out through him. I've tried talking to him about it, but he says everything's fine and that I'm being paranoid. Now I'm just trying to be smiley and happy and not thinking about it, but I just want to cry and shout at him.
To make matters worse, I live abroad, because of him. I have no family here and no close friends. One part of me just wants to take this baby and move back home, but I'm thinking that it might not be fair on the baby to not let him/her have the father close by.
He already has a son from a previous relationship, and he's always talking about him, being a proud dad and what not, how can he not connect that he will feel the same way about this baby and at least fake it until the baby comes?
I'm sorry some of your hubby's are being difficult. I really am. I've been there. But here's a few things to remember: -you are not sick. You are pregnant. -you might be puking, a lot, but you are not sick. You are pregnant! -husbands can't read minds, they need to be asked (nicely) to do specific things. -crying girls frighten men (and/or sometimes make them angry) so try to be calm while communicating with them. -they often feel left out. husbands need quality time with you to feel loved (No not sex, well sometimes) but I'm talking, foot rubs, back massages. I know what you're thinking ("she's f-ing joking right? I'm barfing and he needs a foot rub? Yeah right!") but I'm serious. they are way more willing to help you if you put in the effort to show you care about them (during a time when it's really all about you) -and lastly, don't complain too much. I had horrible morning sickness with my first and my third and trust me, men get tired of hearing that their wife puked all day. Don't text or call and complain how sick you are. Texting him and telling him you had your head in the porcelain throne all day and you were wondering if he could pick up dinner, Works so much better than "UGH!! So sick again. When will this end! This sucks!!!" Lol know what I mean? Hang in there ladies, it'll be July before we know it!
Oh geez.. My husband and I have gone to bed the last couple nights fighting because I'm so sick of him acting like he has been. He's mad that he can't spend money on Magic the Gathering cards, and that my boobs are ruined (I got breast implants 6 weeks before finding out I was pregnant), and he's showed zero interest in the baby or pregnancy at all..
My husband doesn't even go to bed with me, he sits up playing computer games until the early hours of the morning even though he has a job to go to. Escaping reality, much?
Dh asks me "what can I do for you baby" so much it's almost sickening and that's how EVERY husband should be. If he acted like most of these husbands did I'd have his ass in a sling. And @crazyhappymommy I hope you're kidding.
I'm 23 and DH is 45(widower)and has 2 teenagers. So this isn't his first time, but I'm a FTM. He's been really supportive and I hardly do anything. He loves to cook, doesn't let me clean or use chemicals, and the boys have taken on a few more chores. Sometimes I feel like I really should empty the dishwasher or clean the bathroom, but if I start one of them always stops me.
I think DH is more at a loss emotionally. My hormones are all over the place, and he knows it's from pregnancy. But he says 1st wife wasn't emotional so he doesn't know how to help me sometimes. I told him He just needs to hold me, and let me cry.
The first time we heard the heartbeat DH cried, so maybe that gives you some insight on what he's like...(crap, the "I want him now" hormones are kicking in)
My DH has been very supportive to the point where he has had sympathy pains (which I didn't think existed, but they do!). During the first few weeks of my pregnancy we noticed it. I didn't have m/s where I was vomiting...but he did. He says he has food aversions now, and eats less like I eat less. He has been helping out more around the house, encourages me to rest and eat/drink water,etc. He has gone to every doctor appointment. He's even trying to encourage me to BF, which I'm still very much on the fence about.
I'm fortunate, but I do remember to stay appreciative and say "hey babe, thanks so much for (insert something I didn't want to do here)." I think for some men, they have to see the changes in your body and how it's affecting you. For my husband, it didn't happen completely until he actually saw a baby on the screen, heard her heartbeat and saw another living person in my body. It clicked then.
I'm sorry some of your hubby's are being difficult. I really am. I've been there. But here's a few things to remember: -you are not sick. You are pregnant. -you might be puking, a lot, but you are not sick. You are pregnant! -husbands can't read minds, they need to be asked (nicely) to do specific things. -crying girls frighten men (and/or sometimes make them angry) so try to be calm while communicating with them. -they often feel left out. husbands need quality time with you to feel loved (No not sex, well sometimes) but I'm talking, foot rubs, back massages. I know what you're thinking ("she's f-ing joking right? I'm barfing and he needs a foot rub? Yeah right!") but I'm serious. they are way more willing to help you if you put in the effort to show you care about them (during a time when it's really all about you) -and lastly, don't complain too much. I had horrible morning sickness with my first and my third and trust me, men get tired of hearing that their wife puked all day. Don't text or call and complain how sick you are. Texting him and telling him you had your head in the porcelain throne all day and you were wondering if he could pick up dinner, Works so much better than "UGH!! So sick again. When will this end! This sucks!!!" Lol know what I mean? Hang in there ladies, it'll be July before we know it!
Yeah... just no. Sorry, but my husband is a big boy and if I'm crying he can just deal with it.
I'm sorry some of your hubby's are being difficult. I really am. I've been there. But here's a few things to remember: -you are not sick. You are pregnant. -you might be puking, a lot, but you are not sick. You are pregnant! -husbands can't read minds, they need to be asked (nicely) to do specific things. -crying girls frighten men (and/or sometimes make them angry) so try to be calm while communicating with them. -they often feel left out. husbands need quality time with you to feel loved (No not sex, well sometimes) but I'm talking, foot rubs, back massages. I know what you're thinking ("she's f-ing joking right? I'm barfing and he needs a foot rub? Yeah right!") but I'm serious. they are way more willing to help you if you put in the effort to show you care about them (during a time when it's really all about you) -and lastly, don't complain too much. I had horrible morning sickness with my first and my third and trust me, men get tired of hearing that their wife puked all day. Don't text or call and complain how sick you are. Texting him and telling him you had your head in the porcelain throne all day and you were wondering if he could pick up dinner, Works so much better than "UGH!! So sick again. When will this end! This sucks!!!" Lol know what I mean? Hang in there ladies, it'll be July before we know it!
I don't have the words for the amount of bullshit this post contains. Please no one take this advice. There are tons of wonderful supportive partners and you shouldn't have to censor yourself so they can be "okay" with your pregnancy.
I'm sorry some of your hubby's are being difficult. I really am. I've been there. But here's a few things to remember: -you are not sick. You are pregnant. -you might be puking, a lot, but you are not sick. You are pregnant! -husbands can't read minds, they need to be asked (nicely) to do specific things. -crying girls frighten men (and/or sometimes make them angry) so try to be calm while communicating with them. -they often feel left out. husbands need quality time with you to feel loved (No not sex, well sometimes) but I'm talking, foot rubs, back massages. I know what you're thinking ("she's f-ing joking right? I'm barfing and he needs a foot rub? Yeah right!") but I'm serious. they are way more willing to help you if you put in the effort to show you care about them (during a time when it's really all about you) -and lastly, don't complain too much. I had horrible morning sickness with my first and my third and trust me, men get tired of hearing that their wife puked all day. Don't text or call and complain how sick you are. Texting him and telling him you had your head in the porcelain throne all day and you were wondering if he could pick up dinner, Works so much better than "UGH!! So sick again. When will this end! This sucks!!!" Lol know what I mean? Hang in there ladies, it'll be July before we know it!
I don't have the words for the amount of bullshit this post contains. Please no one take this advice. There are tons of wonderful supportive partners and you shouldn't have to censor yourself so they can be "okay" with your pregnancy.
Bull shit!? LOL. All I have to say is "your poor husbands!!!" Lol. Seriously ladies suck it up! It's pregnancy, not cancer! I don't blame them for being mean you all sound miserable. Suck it up!
I am so sorry for those of you haveing a rough time of this without the full support of your SO.
I have to admit that I am completely shocked at how great my bf has been. We had only been dating for 2mths when I found out I was pregnant. I was crying when I told him because I half expected him to leave. But he has been so great and supportive and done so many little things to try and ease my ms like leaving cracker and water by the bed for me and helping out with my son. It's been a lot for him to take on with this being his first kid and because we both work full time and I've been so sick and now we have to tackle trying to move in together when my lease ends. I only hope things are still this great after the baby comes.
To those of you whose SO just don't get it I agree with some of the previous posts on here that you should try getting him a book. I got my bf "dude you're gonna be a dad". It is hilarious but also super informative and with some of the stuff my bf does I can tell he learned it from the book
Dh asks me "what can I do for you baby" so much it's almost sickening and that's how EVERY husband should be. If he acted like most of these husbands did I'd have his ass in a sling. And @crazyhappymommy I hope you're kidding.
I'm not kidding at all. Jeepers, let's all come here and bash our husbands? No thanks, Imagine if your husband was complaining to a bunch if people about what a whiney over dramatic little girl you're being? Wouldn't feel very nice would it?
Mine has no clue what is going on haha he is trying to help but is running around in circles like a lost puppy. He is supportive but has no clue what to do to help. It's better than being arrogant but I just think understanding or not, males really have no clue haha.
All I'm saying is. I have a 3&4 year old pregnant with my 3rd. I've been horribly sick the majority of the pregnancy so far, my husband runs 3 businesses, and when he can be home he appreciates a happy wife when he walks through the door. He knows I'm not feeling well, but complaining and fighting about stupid things doest make any of it better. Cheer up! You're friggen pregnant! I know tons of women who would love to be in your shoes and can't. So go throw up, Brush your teeth and shut up about it. And I'm sure your husband will be a changed man! Lol
I'm sorry some of your hubby's are being difficult. I really am. I've been there.
But here's a few things to remember:
-you are not sick. You are pregnant.
-you might be puking, a lot, but you are not sick. You are pregnant!
-husbands can't read minds, they need to be asked (nicely) to do specific things.
-crying girls frighten men (and/or sometimes make them angry) so try to be calm while communicating with them.
-they often feel left out. husbands need quality time with you to feel loved (No not sex, well sometimes) but I'm talking, foot rubs, back massages. I know what you're thinking ("she's f-ing joking right? I'm barfing and he needs a foot rub? Yeah right!") but I'm serious. they are way more willing to help you if you put in the effort to show you care about them (during a time when it's really all about you)
-and lastly, don't complain too much. I had horrible morning sickness with my first and my third and trust me, men get tired of hearing that their wife puked all day. Don't text or call and complain how sick you are. Texting him and telling him you had your head in the porcelain throne all day and you were wondering if he could pick up dinner, Works so much better than "UGH!! So sick again. When will this end! This sucks!!!"
Lol know what I mean?
Hang in there ladies, it'll be July before we know it!
I don't have the words for the amount of bullshit this post contains. Please no one take this advice. There are tons of wonderful supportive partners and you shouldn't have to censor yourself so they can be "okay" with your pregnancy.
Bull shit!? LOL. All I have to say is "your poor husbands!!!" Lol. Seriously ladies suck it up! It's pregnancy, not cancer! I don't blame them for being mean you all sound miserable.
Suck it up!
Go back and read my first post. I said my husband is awesome.
Also, some of these woman are suffering from Hyperemesis and have been hospitalized due to severe sickness. Your comments are insensitive to them.
Your advice reads like you got it from a women's magazine published in 1949. Any man that is afraid or angered by your crying is at best an asshole.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one going through this , we're pretty young so my finace's friends haven't been supportive at all and I feel like that is weighing on him a lot . He always calls me a drama queen and says I'm faking it and that my gagging is getting on his nerves & that just makes me more emotional. He refuses to read the book I got him and always asks me why I don't look pregnant (12wks) and this is our first baby so I know just about as much as he does . It's so hard to stay positive and keep my head up with all this fighting recently. I just hope soon it comes around , my biggest fear is that we're going to end up having a girl and he'll hate every minute of it because he wants a boy .
I'm being super sweet to my husband. I always ask him how he's doing, and if there's anything I can do for him, I ask about his job, about his car and I make food for him, play with his son so he can get some alone time, and I do not complain about how I am feeling except for when it gets too much. He never returns the favour. For me, if someone asks how you are doing, you say "and you?" afterwards, but no. He makes coffee/tea for himself, but doesn't even ask me if I want a
cup. Sure, he will do me favours if I ask him to, like helping me go to the grocery store in this crappy weather (ice and slush and really windy). It's not so much that he's not there for me in this pregnancy, it's that he's not there for me as a husband, as a friend, or as a partner.
Re: Husbands -are they going through this with you?
My DH is amazing, taking over all the chores before I even have a chance to do them and has been cooking dinners being very patient when I can't stand the smell of anything cooking. But I think me being so much worse in this pregnancy than my first might be why he can tell I really need the help..
This time, we are in survival mode! He still remembers things from the last time, which helps. He hasn't been to an appointment yet, so I think it will help when he sees the baby.
Overall, he is awesome! He cooks dinners, helps with dishes& laundry, and cleans the litter box. I still have to do the regular cleaning, but he usually doesn't complain when it takes me forever.
He also eats sandwiches for dinner every night without complaint (I can't stand the smell of anything cooking) and picks up the cleaning slack on weekends.
He'll also pick up whatever I am craving on his way home from work!
I can tell he's a little bit frustrated with the situation but he doesn't blame me for it or get mad. Very thankful for the man!
I'm also on pelvic rest & he's super bitter about no sex. Honestly I couldn't care less b/c I feel so tired/cruddy most of the time, but he's not happy about that.
I think the most important thing is empathy. About 8 years ago my husband tore his ACL and had total reconstructive surgery. He's also broken his wrist twice...I stepped up and did what I needed to do to take care of him and keep things running when he wasn't able to do certain things. It was sometimes stressful, but it had to be done. And I loved him, so I wasn't mean about it. I view pregnancy as the same: temporary illness/disability type thing and you have to come together during that time.
---end quote-----
It isn't that I am giving him gold stars for doing things he should be doing (and I agree- he should be helping)... it is just a matter of being grateful for those things that I have in my helpful spouse when I see how others are being mistreated. I agree that my DH should be helping and filling in but I am appreciative that he does it so well. He is going the extra mile and I do thank him because he is making this so much better for me.
Sorrynotsorry my DH is wonderful, loving, and supportive to me and baby. If you think that it is "just his job" then clearly we aren't reading the same thread. It seems a lot of the men mentioned don't think they are obligated to be there for their pregnant wife/partner.
I know it's hard for him to hear me complain all.the.time so I try to keep my griping in check. I also do my best to say lots of extra "thank yous" for the million ways he has pitched in since I have been so sick, because he is picking up all my slack.
It did help to have him sit in on an appointment with the doc where she reiterated a lot of what I was going through with the HG. Something about hearing it from a medical professional and not just "whiney me" made it more legit for him.
Worse comes to worse, have the kind of relationship where I can tell him if he is being an insensitive ars, and he usually apologizes.
But here's a few things to remember:
-you are not sick. You are pregnant.
-you might be puking, a lot, but you are not sick. You are pregnant!
-husbands can't read minds, they need to be asked (nicely) to do specific things.
-crying girls frighten men (and/or sometimes make them angry) so try to be calm while communicating with them.
-they often feel left out. husbands need quality time with you to feel loved (No not sex, well sometimes) but I'm talking, foot rubs, back massages. I know what you're thinking ("she's f-ing joking right? I'm barfing and he needs a foot rub? Yeah right!") but I'm serious. they are way more willing to help you if you put in the effort to show you care about them (during a time when it's really all about you)
-and lastly, don't complain too much. I had horrible morning sickness with my first and my third and trust me, men get tired of hearing that their wife puked all day. Don't text or call and complain how sick you are. Texting him and telling him you had your head in the porcelain throne all day and you were wondering if he could pick up dinner, Works so much better than "UGH!! So sick again. When will this end! This sucks!!!"
Lol know what I mean?
Hang in there ladies, it'll be July before we know it!
Married 4/13/13
Loss at 6 weeks 5/4/2013
Loss at 9 weeks 12/2013
Healthy baby boy 7/12/15
Due 1/6/18
I think DH is more at a loss emotionally. My hormones are all over the place, and he knows it's from pregnancy. But he says 1st wife wasn't emotional so he doesn't know how to help me sometimes. I told him
He just needs to hold me, and let me cry.
The first time we heard the heartbeat DH cried, so maybe that gives you some insight on what he's like...(crap, the "I want him now" hormones are kicking in)
My DH has been very supportive to the point where he has had sympathy pains (which I didn't think existed, but they do!). During the first few weeks of my pregnancy we noticed it. I didn't have m/s where I was vomiting...but he did. He says he has food aversions now, and eats less like I eat less. He has been helping out more around the house, encourages me to rest and eat/drink water,etc. He has gone to every doctor appointment. He's even trying to encourage me to BF, which I'm still very much on the fence about.
I'm fortunate, but I do remember to stay appreciative and say "hey babe, thanks so much for (insert something I didn't want to do here)." I think for some men, they have to see the changes in your body and how it's affecting you. For my husband, it didn't happen completely until he actually saw a baby on the screen, heard her heartbeat and saw another living person in my body. It clicked then.
**clapping hands slowly** good for him.
Bull shit!? LOL. All I have to say is "your poor husbands!!!" Lol. Seriously ladies suck it up! It's pregnancy, not cancer! I don't blame them for being mean you all sound miserable.
Suck it up!
I have to admit that I am completely shocked at how great my bf has been. We had only been dating for 2mths when I found out I was pregnant. I was crying when I told him because I half expected him to leave. But he has been so great and supportive and done so many little things to try and ease my ms like leaving cracker and water by the bed for me and helping out with my son. It's been a lot for him to take on with this being his first kid and because we both work full time and I've been so sick and now we have to tackle trying to move in together when my lease ends. I only hope things are still this great after the baby comes.
To those of you whose SO just don't get it I agree with some of the previous posts on here that you should try getting him a book. I got my bf "dude you're gonna be a dad". It is hilarious but also super informative and with some of the stuff my bf does I can tell he learned it from the book
So go throw up, Brush your teeth and shut up about it. And I'm sure your husband will be a changed man! Lol