@redneckmomma25 I just called. Thanks for the advice. I always feel so dumb calling them but I'm just crying thinking about getting through the night.
ETA: they said tylenol lol. I can take more than I was taking so that is good.
@redneckmomma25 I just called. Thanks for the advice. I always feel so dumb calling them but I'm just crying thinking about getting through the night.
ETA: they said tylenol lol. I can take more than I was taking so that is good.
Ugh. I'm sorry. Wish they had given you the Tamiflu. Hope you are over it quickly.
@AKB090609 is there any way you could have a talk with H, before it blows up into a fight? The sooner you're able to do it, the better chance things will be smoothed over by the time Christmas is here!
I would try, but he will be at work late (like 9pm) most nights this week and then all the grandparents will be up by Sunday, so with all the things that actually need to happen by then I don't think there is time. I've also been attempting the whole 'lead by example' thing and attempted to tell him what I don't like in the moment. My hope is that we can get things back under control the week he is off work.
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We went to DH's family Christmas party yesterday. About 30 people total, it's hosted by DH's grandparents. DH is the oldest grandkid, the youngest is 13 and he's the only one with kids so far. Every year his grandparents pass out presents to every fucking person there EXCEPT FOR MY KIDS!!!!! It seriously pisses me off and I don't understand why they do that. DH is super non confrontational and has never said anything. I kept myself in check but I am not going next year. That is total bullshit. I hate watching my kids looking around at everyone opening gifts while they have nothing. They always put $50 in my present so I just tell the kids that's for them to pick something out. Everyone gets cash so they aren't doing it for my kids. I don't get it.
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
We went to DH's family Christmas party yesterday. About 30 people total, it's hosted by DH's grandparents. DH is the oldest grandkid, the youngest is 13 and he's the only one with kids so far. Every year his grandparents pass out presents to every fucking person there EXCEPT FOR MY KIDS!!!!! It seriously pisses me off and I don't understand why they do that. DH is super non confrontational and has never said anything. I kept myself in check but I am not going next year. That is total bullshit. I hate watching my kids looking around at everyone opening gifts while they have nothing. They always put $50 in my present so I just tell the kids that's for them to pick something out. Everyone gets cash so they aren't doing it for my kids. I don't get it.
That's so wrong. I don't blame you at all. I wouldn't go either.
@MarisaKathleen Even if it seems pointless now, traditions start somewhere. Someday they will look back on these things and be grateful that the holidays were so special. I mean, as long as you're not actually torturing them But what you're doing sounds like fun!
Sorry for all the sickness going around. Hope all of you ladies and babies feel better. My whole house is sick right now. We're suppose to go to DH's grandma's house on Saturday for Christmas. She's apparently "fading fast" (no medical problems, just old age), and everyone is suppose to be there to make the day special for her (no problem, but it's weird having that be part of the message). We were all sick and missed Thanksgiving, so I hope we can shake this crud in time to go Saturday.
@jenndub That sucks. Your kids are so awesome and sweet, I'm sure it's torture watching them get nothing. I wouldn't go next year, either. Poor kids.
I just spent $230 on Fisher Price's website. I'm a little pissed they don't do ebates
Oh yeah, FFMC/PSA: never encourage your kid to teach themself to whistle. Ethan taught himself a couple months ago, and that's all he does now. I'm proud that he wanted to learn, and he taught himself, but oh my goodness is it annoying now.
That is the saddest thing ever @jenndub So do they get your two littles anything?
Nothing for any of the kids. If they would have given gifts to the little ones and not the bigs I would have lost my shit. DH's mom is still on my shit list from Christmas 2012 when she kicked E and B out of the family picture.
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
That is the saddest thing ever @jenndub So do they get your two littles anything?
Nothing for any of the kids. If they would have given gifts to the little ones and not the bigs I would have lost my shit. DH's mom is still on my shit list from Christmas 2012 when she kicked E and B out of the family picture.
WHAT?????!!!!? That would make me kick DH in the nuts for not standing up for his kids. .
That sounds so awful @tinyhumantoe
That is the saddest thing ever @jenndub So do they get your two littles anything?
Nothing for any of the kids. If they would have given gifts to the little ones and not the bigs I would have lost my shit. DH's mom is still on my shit list from Christmas 2012 when she kicked E and B out of the family picture.
oh not cool. I would definitely bring that up every chance I got.
and, piggybacking off of what @PenelopePond said, don't ever think it's a good idea to get your 2yr old a harmonica (wuhhhm'oca). It's the absolute worst thing I've ever done.
I wonder if the grandparents were thinking they wouldn't do gifts for all the grandkids in the future because the cost is too high? But honestly, even if that were their take on the situation, it's bullshit. Dollar store the little kid gifts. As the kids get too old for dollar store gifts, maybe their 40yo adult parents don't need $50 and that money can be spent on the kids.
Are there any adults that look at blended families and think, wow- I really want to make those little kids feel like they are family and know that we embrace them. It doesn't matter if they're around for one Christmas, five, or every Christmas forever. They are babies. Grow up, people!
That sounds so awful @tinyhumantoe
That is the saddest thing ever @jenndub So do they get your two littles anything?
Nothing for any of the kids. If they would have given gifts to the little ones and not the bigs I would have lost my shit. DH's mom is still on my shit list from Christmas 2012 when she kicked E and B out of the family picture.
Just a suggestion on how he could say something in a non-confrontational way: In DH's family his parents always got something for all of their grandkids. They have 15 grandkids so we knew it would start to get difficult financially for everyone to keep adding and adding people. Once the grandkids started having kids, we all said that, once you have a kid, they automatically start getting the gift and you stop getting anything. So your DH may want to tell them that, instead of getting him something, he would rather they get gifts for the children or at least one fun gift they could all share.
Are there any adults that look at blended families and think, wow- I really want to make those little kids feel like they are family and know that we embrace them. It doesn't matter if they're around for one Christmas, five, or every Christmas forever. They are babies. Grow up, people!
My IL'S have done a wonderful job. My BIL married SIL who is 7 years older than him with a 10 year old son. They treat him just as equal. He is their grand child. They really make sure he feels that way too.
I remember when we got my Dad and his one sister was shitty to my Mom. I'm pretty sure my Mom expected that--my Dad was married to his first wife for 25 years before he married my Mom, so there was a lot of history there. The only time anyone was ever a jerk to me was when my stupid Aunt told my niece that I wasn't really her Aunt because I'm not really part of the family.
I was 10 at the time. 10. And even at that age, I had too many balls for my own good and told her that my Dad picked us to be his family and that made me as much a member as it did her who he didn't even like.
I was sort of a dick when I was younger....I was seriously lacking in tact. But, it got the point across and if she's ever said anything else about me or my Mom, I've never heard about it.
Also, my FIL gives each of the adults $200 for Christmas and never gets the kids anything. Not even my niece who is 8. He's a dick. Christmas is for the kids, not for adults. I don't need your $200, but my 2 year old doesn't understand why she doesn't get any presents from you. @jenndub, I hope for your sake you don't have to ever attend another Christmas with those people.
Since we have always talked to Nancy like we talk to each other, she frequently tells me "I'm being irrational!" when she's crying over something stupid. And when I tell her to stop doing something, or raise my voice, she looks at me and says "I just try to help..." and then I feel bad. :-(
My favorite thing of all time that she says is "Daddy, you futz and putz too much!" because she's heard me say it. My DH DOES futz and putz and the easiest of tasks take him 3x longer than they take me, but sometimes I don't consider the things she's going to pick up.
I'm pretty sure we're married to the same man. DH can not multitask whatsoever. I could run circles around him when doing things. It drives me insane. I actually told him last night maybe I should put B's train table together otherwise we end up divorced.
@jenndub my grandparents were different too. Our family is very small. They had 2 kids and there are 5 grandkids total, 1 great grandchild. Before DH and I got married I got $175/Christmas and DH would get like $50. Once we got married, we shared my $175. Then when B came along we got less and he got some of the money. Ok no big deal except my cousin's got more. It was a very twisted way of thinking.
I know too many families that are blended and the "non-grandchildren" aren't treated as grandchildren. It's so not fair. If that were DH and I I'd make DH say something. It's just not right. If it's a financial thing why can't his gift be passed to the kids?
My brother is engaged to a woman who already had a son. At first it was an adjustment and I'll admit it was kind of shoved in our face that he was our nephew even though they are not married and very recently got engaged. After some time (and reflection on our own) we're accepted him as our nephew. My parents have done a wonderful job of calling him their own grandchild as well.
Are there any adults that look at blended families and think, wow- I really want to make those little kids feel like they are family and know that we embrace them. It doesn't matter if they're around for one Christmas, five, or every Christmas forever. They are babies. Grow up, people!
I texted my brother last night to let him know his son's gift is arriving from Amazon tomorrow and his SD's gift will be early next week. I was terrified they would think I only got his son something (this is the first Christmas with the SD).
Also, my FIL gives each of the adults $200 for Christmas and never gets the kids anything. Not even my niece who is 8. He's a dick. Christmas is for the kids, not for adults. I don't need your $200, but my 2 year old doesn't understand why she doesn't get any presents from you. jenndub, I hope for your sake you don't have to ever attend another Christmas with those people.
I don't think there is anything wrong with this. I see it as him giving $200 to each family which is very generous. Everyone always complains on here that their kids have too much stuff. This allows for a fun family day adventure, or paying off Christmas debt the parents took on, or money in the college funds. It is only jerky if the parents blow the money on themselves instead of the family. MIL doesn't give birthday gifts, she buys savings bonds. The kids have never noticed that they didn't get a toy from her and one day when they are older they will understand that cash in savings is a way better gift.
Also, my FIL gives each of the adults $200 for Christmas and never gets the kids anything. Not even my niece who is 8. He's a dick. Christmas is for the kids, not for adults. I don't need your $200, but my 2 year old doesn't understand why she doesn't get any presents from you. jenndub, I hope for your sake you don't have to ever attend another Christmas with those people.
I don't think there is anything wrong with this. I see it as him giving $200 to each family which is very generous. Everyone always complains on here that their kids have too much stuff. This allows for a fun family day adventure, or paying off Christmas debt the parents took on, or money in the college funds. It is only jerky if the parents blow the money on themselves instead of the family. MIL doesn't give birthday gifts, she buys savings bonds. The kids have never noticed that they didn't get a toy from her and one day when they are older they will understand that cash in savings is a way better gift.
DH's grandmother gave him a savings bond every year for Christmas until her death. FIL just recently handed them over to him. Most haven't reached maturity yet, so they're sitting in our safe...it will be a very nice some of money eventually. DH is thankful to have that money in adulthood rather than spent on a toy as a child. Of course that's looking back with a different mind set, but yeah, saving bonds are cool gifts.
DH's grandmother did the same thing. They paid for our entire down payment and closings costs for our first house. It was awesome. DH's mom just had them in a book on her bookshelf, lol. Glad they are electronic now and I don't have to keep up with it.
I wonder if the grandparents were thinking they wouldn't do gifts for all the grandkids in the future because the cost is too high? But honestly, even if that were their take on the situation, it's bullshit. Dollar store the little kid gifts. As the kids get too old for dollar store gifts, maybe their 40yo adult parents don't need $50 and that money can be spent on the kids.
Anyway, this is really bothering me.
This is what I would think. At some point, the gifting shifts to the younger ones. I certainly don't expect that our families, who have always been very generous, should have to buy for us and our kids. If they want to do anything, they can focus on the little ones. I'm a grown up with a job, I can buy for myself.
Also, my FIL gives each of the adults $200 for Christmas and never gets the kids anything. Not even my niece who is 8. He's a dick. Christmas is for the kids, not for adults. I don't need your $200, but my 2 year old doesn't understand why she doesn't get any presents from you. jenndub, I hope for your sake you don't have to ever attend another Christmas with those people.
I don't think there is anything wrong with this. I see it as him giving $200 to each family which is very generous. Everyone always complains on here that their kids have too much stuff. This allows for a fun family day adventure, or paying off Christmas debt the parents took on, or money in the college funds. It is only jerky if the parents blow the money on themselves instead of the family. MIL doesn't give birthday gifts, she buys savings bonds. The kids have never noticed that they didn't get a toy from her and one day when they are older they will understand that cash in savings is a way better gift.
My grandfather always only bought savings bonds when we were younger. I don't remember it ever bothering me. In fact I came to expect it in a good way.
I just set up an account to buy savings bonds. Since I can't get them at the bank anymore, I always forget about them! :-) My Grandma gave me mine when we were getting married, which was really helpful.
In the past, I've taken my money from FIL & put 1/2 in Nancy's account. I'll do the same this year and split it between the 2 of them.
Re: Heyyy Monday
ETA: they said tylenol lol. I can take more than I was taking so that is good.
Hope @tinyhumantoe @loislayn @BobKat22 and anyone else with sickies gets better soon.
We went to DH's family Christmas party yesterday. About 30 people total, it's hosted by DH's grandparents. DH is the oldest grandkid, the youngest is 13 and he's the only one with kids so far. Every year his grandparents pass out presents to every fucking person there EXCEPT FOR MY KIDS!!!!! It seriously pisses me off and I don't understand why they do that. DH is super non confrontational and has never said anything. I kept myself in check but I am not going next year. That is total bullshit. I hate watching my kids looking around at everyone opening gifts while they have nothing. They always put $50 in my present so I just tell the kids that's for them to pick something out. Everyone gets cash so they aren't doing it for my kids. I don't get it.
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
Sorry for all the sickness going around. Hope all of you ladies and babies feel better. My whole house is sick right now. We're suppose to go to DH's grandma's house on Saturday for Christmas. She's apparently "fading fast" (no medical problems, just old age), and everyone is suppose to be there to make the day special for her (no problem, but it's weird having that be part of the message). We were all sick and missed Thanksgiving, so I hope we can shake this crud in time to go Saturday.
@jenndub That sucks. Your kids are so awesome and sweet, I'm sure it's torture watching them get nothing. I wouldn't go next year, either. Poor kids.
I just spent $230 on Fisher Price's website. I'm a little pissed they don't do ebates
I didn't even think that way. Is she not getting anything for all four kids, or just not the oldest two?
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
Anyway, this is really bothering me.
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
I'm pretty sure we're married to the same man. DH can not multitask whatsoever. I could run circles around him when doing things. It drives me insane. I actually told him last night maybe I should put B's train table together otherwise we end up divorced.
@jenndub my grandparents were different too. Our family is very small. They had 2 kids and there are 5 grandkids total, 1 great grandchild. Before DH and I got married I got $175/Christmas and DH would get like $50. Once we got married, we shared my $175. Then when B came along we got less and he got some of the money. Ok no big deal except my cousin's got more. It was a very twisted way of thinking.
I know too many families that are blended and the "non-grandchildren" aren't treated as grandchildren. It's so not fair. If that were DH and I I'd make DH say something. It's just not right. If it's a financial thing why can't his gift be passed to the kids?
My brother is engaged to a woman who already had a son. At first it was an adjustment and I'll admit it was kind of shoved in our face that he was our nephew even though they are not married and very recently got engaged. After some time (and reflection on our own) we're accepted him as our nephew. My parents have done a wonderful job of calling him their own grandchild as well.
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
My grandfather always only bought savings bonds when we were younger. I don't remember it ever bothering me. In fact I came to expect it in a good way.
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14