Heyyy Monday

tinyhumantoe

What's up? 

I have a nasty flu. 

MarisaKathleen

I've realized this month that the "memories" I'm trying to make with my kids during the holiday season are futile and stupid.

We went out to a German Christmas market a few weeks ago.  Nancy was miserable because her molars were bugging her.  She lasted an hour.

Last weekend we went to breakfast with Santa.  Nancy is afraid of Santa.

This weekend we went to this hotel and drove through this crazy light display.  Cal screamed 90% of the time and Nancy kept telling us she had to poop.  Mind you, we're trapped in this mile long display with no exit point except at the end and everyone is going 5mph.  She didn't really have to poop, but yea.  It was stupid.

My biological Father died at 32.  I keep thinking that if I die this year, my kids will have no idea who I was, and won't remember anything that I did with them.  I remember things about my first Dad, but don't know if they're my memories or if I just think I remember them because I've been told them for so many years.  It just breaks my heart to think of it, because I don't think DH would get as lucky as my Mom did and find someone who loves our kids like my 2nd Dad loved me.  I realize this is all totally illogical and that in reality, nothing will probably happen to me because aside from being overweight, I'm in perfect health, but still.  I'm having a hard time with 32.

Sorry for the novel.

kelbel527

MarisaKathleen said:

I've realized this month that the "memories" I'm trying to make with my kids during the holiday season are futile and stupid.

We went out to a German Christmas market a few weeks ago.  Nancy was miserable because her molars were bugging her.  She lasted an hour.

Last weekend we went to breakfast with Santa.  Nancy is afraid of Santa.

This weekend we went to this hotel and drove through this crazy light display.  Cal screamed 90% of the time and Nancy kept telling us she had to poop.  Mind you, we're trapped in this mile long display with no exit point except at the end and everyone is going 5mph.  She didn't really have to poop, but yea.  It was stupid.

My biological Father died at 32.  I keep thinking that if I die this year, my kids will have no idea who I was, and won't remember anything that I did with them.  I remember things about my first Dad, but don't know if they're my memories or if I just think I remember them because I've been told them for so many years.  It just breaks my heart to think of it, because I don't think DH would get as lucky as my Mom did and find someone who loves our kids like my 2nd Dad loved me.  I realize this is all totally illogical and that in reality, nothing will probably happen to me because aside from being overweight, I'm in perfect health, but still.  I'm having a hard time with 32.

Sorry for the novel.

Aw, hugs.  I can't imagine losing a parent so young.  Even if your memories of your Dad aren't real and are just because you've heard them over time, they're still great moments you had with him when you were little.  Your kids are lucky because you're an awesome Mom - and I imagine you will be around for many many more Christmases to come.  

I find that many traditions that I do are more for me than the kids.  I have also skipped ones that I would love to do, but I know won't be fun for the kids.  We did Candy Cane lane this weekend, but also sitting in a line of cars for awhile, decided to skip the last block to get the kids home.  They had enough fun and there was no reason to keep going (except for myself).

kelbel527

We started building our house 6 weeks ago.  We've already caught 3 mistakes in the process.  I'm thankful DH is there everyday, but a little frustrated that they've already eff'd up stuff.  Obviously they'll fix it and it doesn't cost us anything, but at some point, they need to get stuff right.

DH apparently bit his tongue this morning when walking through the house telling them to fix it, but I am hoping he's not so nice if this happens again.

On a positive note, we're getting windows this week.  Woohoo!

tinyhumantoe

@marisakathleen I think you're doing the right thing.  I try things with W and she is just too young.  I have no idea at what age she'll be old enough - it's probably very transitional spanning a few years.  I think I'd regret not doing things the year before if things went really well the first time I tried them.  Just keep doing these things and they'll start to click a little more each time.

smb+jab

This seems like a rough start to a Monday!

@tinyhumantoe i hope you feel better soon - its no fun being sick at this time of year

@marisakathleen sorry to hear you are having a tough time.  my grandmother lost all of her siblings at 50 (brothers and sisters) and she was convinced she was going to drop dead a 50 too.  It was a tough year for her too.  But i am sure you will make it 33 just fine,

And I am having some of the same problems with Grant with some of the holiday themed things I've tried to do with him.  Some things are wins (cookie baking others are epic fails)  Last year i did the advent book calender and he loved it.  So we've doing it again, but this year some nights he refuses to read the books.  He even told me he would rather donate them to some other kids  maybe next year ....  

MrsKipper

So sorry @tinyhumantoe‌, I hope you feel better. I've got the post-flu cough that doesn't quit!

That's hard @MarisaKathleen‌ and completely understandable why you feel that way.

We haven't started anything Christmas related. It's not out of the morn for us, though. We always wait til the last minute. We have to get stuff done this week, though, because our first family Christmas gathering is this weekend. Still no tree. DH tried on Saturday but he couldn't find a stand and he'd ready been gone all day, so I just told him not to worry about it. It's whatevs at this point!

MRoxy0628

I'm sorry @marisakathleen.  I think everyone has those fears, myself included, but I understand that having a parent die young exacerbates it.  I try to remember there isn't a whole lot I can do to control it, other than take care of myself. 

I'm crabby today.  We had a pretty good weekend seeing Santa and I had a holiday party with my friends, but my H and I got into a few arguments and that put me in a bit of a mood.  Hoping I can snap out of it and that the day gets progressively better. 

tinyhumantoe

DH was frustrated with me yesterday because I took a nap and was kind of sloth-like.  When I woke up from my nap it was like I'd been hit by a train.  I feel like ass, but sore from laying down, sore from coughing... so I'm trying to make myself sit up for awhile.

Meanwhile this baby is killing me, moving and kicking way more than usual.  I wonder if my flu is affecting her?  I am trying to drink lots of water.

MarisaKathleen

Thanks ladies, I appreciate it. :-)

In less Debbie Downer news, remember the girl I went to high school with who is standing up in the Disney wedding?

OMG. 

The bridal shower was yesterday.  It was 'Frozen' themed.  Life size Elsa & Olaf cutouts in the room.  Bride to be wore a 'Frozen' inspired dress.  It was amazing.  I can't even stand how totally crazy this whole experience is, but I love that she doesn't have her profile private so I can see all this crazy unfolding.

tinyhumantoe

kelbel527 said:

We started building our house 6 weeks ago.  We've already caught 3 mistakes in the process.  I'm thankful DH is there everyday, but a little frustrated that they've already eff'd up stuff.  Obviously they'll fix it and it doesn't cost us anything, but at some point, they need to get stuff right.

DH apparently bit his tongue this morning when walking through the house telling them to fix it, but I am hoping he's not so nice if this happens again.

On a positive note, we're getting windows this week.  Woohoo!

Having just gone through this with our work building, you guys are doing the best thing by being there and catching mistakes.  I'm sure @bper can attest to that.  We had some screw ups that were really impossible to fix once they got so far along. 

willy_gert

Hey y'all!

We had a decent weekend.  DH is back at work for a few short weeks until he has his gall bladder surgery.  I'm kind of pissed at his work, because they contacted him and asked him what they could do to get him to come back because they knew his checks were way small and people there were getting burnt out.  I get it, but at the same time, he was on FMLA leave, they can't do that, and they totally pressured him, because he would have looked like a jerk if he said no.  So, now, despite having a central line, and despite the fact that any of a number of things could happen to him and it while on duty he is back.  I am trying hard not to think about it, but sometimes my worrying brain gets the best of me.

We got some amazing gifts given to us last week.  Seriously, God is looking out for us.  The firefighters gave our family money from their personal relief fund, they have never done that for anyone in EMS before.  Our church gave us two huge food boxes and a ham, and then a friend of ours got her work together and brought us a food box.  Seriously so overwhelming, and I just don't know what to do or say besides write a thank you note and pay it forward whenever I possibly can.

tinyhumantoe

Sat night I went to a 'ladies night.'  It was at a friend's house pretty far out bc she didn't have a sitter.  A couple ladies asked if I could take them home.  Sure.  I was dying to come home at around 10 (ok, let's be honest - 9), but everyone was drinking wine and having fun.  I got home at 1:15am because I was trying to accommodate everyone   Tiny person was in my room at 6am. 

It's kind of hard with this group of friends.  The only other one with kids was upstairs putting her girls to bed for an hour and a half.  I got to sit down there with these 30-42yo doctorate students that have never had jobs and don't plan on ever having kids....while they judged her parenting.  I mean, the friend with kids sits in the room with her 3yo until she falls all the way to sleep, otherwise she'll scream and wake up the 9mo old.  I don't think that's a sustainable solution, but I don't know the situation.  Maybe they've tried everything in the book. 

These other ladies just don't understand how you're just trying to survive sometimes.  And can I say how fucking boring it was?  I really needed to be drunk to handle the boredom.  They were bitching about how this person and that person only talk about work and kids.  I'm like....well.... I guess I won't be talking.  All they talk about is school, so I just LOL'd about that in my head.  People talk about their lives, so yah, it's going to be work or kids or school.  Why is school ok, but other things not?  I just wanted to scream, GET A JOB, you're 40! 

AKB090609

@willy_gert‌ I'm glad good things are happening for you!

Pokedot

@tinyhumantoe I hope you feel better. The flu is awful! Rest up and relax!

@MarisaKathleen I'm sure the memories you have of your dad whether true or not are great ones. Hold onto them. I understand what you mean though. DH lost his dad when he was 14 and all of his family on his dad's side passed away pretty young. He has the same fear about something happening young to him. I know it's constantly on his mind. It was worse after having Bennett.

We try to do things with Bennett that sound fun and I still haven't learned that whenever I have this magical idea of how things will play out it's a disaster. We did however take him to his first movie yesterday. While the experience wasn't all puppies and rainbows he actually did pretty good. Thank god because on the way home he dumped the bucket of popcorn DH insisted he could hold in the car, all over himself and the backseat.

He had an epic meltdown last night and I wanted to cry. I was so tired it kind of it me like a ton of bricks. I actually fell asleep on the couch while DH helped Bennett brush his teeth. Then when I went in his room I told DH I should of had him put B to sleep. He gave me this disgusted look. Then that a-hole decides to go to sleep the minute he leaves us in B's room. I was fuming mad considering he's home with him for 3 days this week and I'm up for work. I'm stil irrationally mad about it.

Unknown

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willy_gert

We haven't done a lot of Christmas things with Luci because she is at an incredibly defiant stage right now.  The most we have done is taken her to see Christmas lights and then we put up Christmas trees this weekend.  I wish I would have had the camera with me when she woke up Sunday morning, because it was too adorable for words!  I put a Christmas tree in her room and one in the living room.  She was full of wonder the minute she woke up.  

I am trying to be as laid back as possible with this Christmas because things are sparse, but we can still enjoy the smaller things.  Luci has helped me appreciate all of the small things this year, because they are what matter to her!

kelbel527

@tinyhumantoe - I hope you're feeling better soon.  And I give you so much credit for staying late to drive people home.  You're a much better friend than I am.  I would have told them they can have a ride if they want to leave by 10.    

Pokedot

We visited Santa yesterday too. He wouldn't go up to him unless I was with and got bribed to be close to him with a mini candycane. I have no shame! This was the best we could get even with his tongue out. It shows his personality pretty well though.

tinyhumantoe

So my mom told me that my littlest sister desperately begged for a kitchen aid mixer and that she had to pull some strings to get the color she wanted - bronze.  I thought it was really fucking bizarre that my sister wanted that.  She's in her last year of college, doesn't bake or cook, lives in an apartment the size of a shoe box, and bronze is not her style.

So I'm out with my sister on Saturday and she tells me that she's scared my mom is buying her a mixer.  I guess my mom asked what color she would want, and my sister told her she didn't care but that she's afraid it would never get used because she doesn't bake.   

So my mom's whole schpeal about how she begged for the mixer and really wanted bronze was all a lie.  I feel bad for my sister bc that will be her only gift. 

Meanwhile sister 2 just posted a photo of her bathroom remodel supplies, which is a gift from my parents.  It's about $3k minimum worth of supplies.  Mom told me not to tell my little sister, and that sister 2 paid for the majority.  Okayyyyy.  I'm sure the chic who asked to borrow $100 for utilities from me a week ago paid thousands for a bathroom remodel.  My mom is such a psycho liar who plays favorites.  She gave this ding dong sister their BMW claiming she bought it, and secretly gave my brother $15k for his down payment on his house - both siblings have since revealed the truth.  She is so fucked up.

tinyhumantoe

BunkinMama said:

 I am so emotional this morning! ( I'm crying again

What's going on?

melody921

Oh no @tinyhumantoe! I hope you feel better soon.

melody921

@marisakathleen, I think at this stage, you're doing the best you can to ensure your kids enjoy things in the moment. They might not remember year to year. They might not even appreciate all the holiday events. But you're spending time with them, which can't help but instill how important family is. I hope I don't die tomorrow, but if I do, my kids will know I love them, whether we were doing something formal as a family or just bumming around the house in our pjs. It's a hard thing to even think about because we all obviously want to be around to see our kids grow into adulthood.

kelbel527

loislayn said:

All 3 kids have RSV. We're doing neb treatments around the clock, plus I picked up 2 ER night shifts this weekend and I am exhausted. MIL is taking the kids for a couple days next week and I just want to call in sick to work so I can sleep.

That's miserable.  I hope you can get sleep soon.  

melody921

kelbel527 said:

@tinyhumantoe - I hope you're feeling better soon.  And I give you so much credit for staying late to drive people home.  You're a much better friend than I am.  I would have told them they can have a ride if they want to leave by 10.    

Seriously. I'm too old to stay up that late. Saturday night (Sunday morning) I got to bed after 1 too because it was our work Christmas party. Less than 5 hours of sleep makes for a grouchy mama. I felt like I couldn't really wake up all Sunday.

melody921

tinyhumantoe said:

So my mom's whole schpeal about how she begged for the mixer and really wanted bronze was all a lie.  I feel bad for my sister bc that will be her only gift. 

Could your mom not come up with another gift idea for her? It seems crazy to buy something so expensive for someone who doesn't even want it!

melody921

loislayn said:

All 3 kids have RSV. We're doing neb treatments around the clock, plus I picked up 2 ER night shifts this weekend and I am exhausted. MIL is taking the kids for a couple days next week and I just want to call in sick to work so I can sleep.

Oh no! I hope they start feeling better soon and you can get some rest.

melody921

DH and I seriously need to crack down and get a better budget for 2015. I feel like we're way too loose with our funds. There are projects I want to do around the house, and it would be nice to have the money for that and to build up a more appropriate savings, rather than wasting it on stupid small stuff (like food. I swear we eat most of our cash).

tinyhumantoe

loislayn said:

All 3 kids have RSV. We're doing neb treatments around the clock, plus I picked up 2 ER night shifts this weekend and I am exhausted. MIL is taking the kids for a couple days next week and I just want to call in sick to work so I can sleep.

WHAT?  That is terrible   Oh my goodness

tinyhumantoe

melody921 said:

tinyhumantoe said:

So my mom's whole schpeal about how she begged for the mixer and really wanted bronze was all a lie.  I feel bad for my sister bc that will be her only gift. 

Could your mom not come up with another gift idea for her? It seems crazy to buy something so expensive for someone who doesn't even want it!

My little sister is moving to NY in May and has so much stuff she needs, like a car repair, new tires, a nice set of kitchen pans, gift cards, etc.  It's not for lack of knowing.

I know exactly what happened.  Mom buys us things that she would want - there's no crime in that, it's a gift.  It's the sensational lies that she spins that bother me.  I just don't get it.  Like when she bought me the cedar chest for Christmas, she told my dad that I had begged for it.  Can someone tell me the psychology behind that?  I don't get it.

MarisaKathleen

Almost everything I buy for DH is somewhat self serving.  If he would give me any ideas at all about something he'd actually like at a designated gift time, it would be different.  My DH absolutely sucks to buy for.

I told him from now on I'm only buying him stuff he can eat because he just lets gifts sit forever without using/wearing them.

MarisaKathleen

Being on this depo shot is making me crazy.  I'm starving ALL the time.  And I'm eating good stuff like fruit/vegetables, but all I really want to eat is 3 loaves of bread.  I've been on this before and never felt like this.  I've gained 8lbs in a month.  Dude.  Who gains weight AFTER having a baby?!

willy_gert

@loislayn I hope all the kids get better quickly and that you get rest!  I say call in sick and rest, because otherwise you are going to get sick too!  

willy_gert

melody921 said:

DH and I seriously need to crack down and get a better budget for 2015. I feel like we're way too loose with our funds. There are projects I want to do around the house, and it would be nice to have the money for that and to build up a more appropriate savings, rather than wasting it on stupid small stuff (like food. I swear we eat most of our cash).

I am always amazed when I work on budget.  We have cut down majorly since DH got sick, but it is amazing to me how if I don't pull money immediately it just goes away...  I swear I am going to make a separate savings account that DH knows nothing about just so we can actually save up some money. 

willy_gert

Random question:

Doesn't someone here work in the mortgage industry?  Our social worker has been talking with us about programs where you can prolong your mortgage or get some forgiveness, etc., for DH's disability...  

After this whole mess I feel like I need a much better plan going into DH's transplant....

kdsmith43

MarisaKathleen said:

Being on this depo shot is making me crazy.  I'm starving ALL the time.  And I'm eating good stuff like fruit/vegetables, but all I really want to eat is 3 loaves of bread.  I've been on this before and never felt like this.  I've gained 8lbs in a month.  Dude.  Who gains weight AFTER having a baby?!

That's why I had to go off of it. It made me gain weight like a maniac. I constantly felt like a ravaged beast.

BeebopandBuddy

It's my first day at my new job. I really like it so far and I think it will be a good fit. Plus they are having a pharmaceutical rep bring free lunch. Yay! @loislayn‌ I hope the kids feel better soon. That sounds awful. We did Santa pics yesterday and also got through with no tears, so I'm super happy, even though the pic was still awkward. Oh well.

kdsmith43

So you guys know I am all in to essential oils. I made an oil concoction for a lady who contacted me about her daughter having trouble in school with attention (ADD/ADHD). She contacted me last week and told me that it has absolutely worked wonders and that she gave my number to someone who was also interested. That person just happened to be one of our states congressmen and previous state senator! I was slightly nervous to meet her, but I am so excited.

tyrannasaurusjess

@loislayn that's a big bummer. I hope everyone starts feeling better soon, and you're able to catch up on sleep.

@beebopandbuddy that's great that you're liking your new job! And, free lunches from a rep are always nice... that was one of the best things about my last job!

We were supposed to go see Santa this weekend, but H ended up having to work on Saturday, so no go. I am hoping to go this coming weekend, even though I know it's going to be a bust because Jasper has serious stranger danger. 

Also, I just found a dead mouse in my laundry room, so the rest of my day will be spent being totally skeeved out and cleaning. Two of my least favorite things. 

melody921

BobKat22 said:

DD threw up in the car as we pulled in the driveway Thursday night. She continued to puke all night and half of Friday. That was real fun. Now DH came down with it last night and I have a Sinus infection that is making me feel crappy. Sickness sucks. We got the nanny I really liked! I'm so excited! Notices will be turned in to both daycares tomorrow. I was all fired up to be a real bitch to DD's psycho blogger bitch of a sitter, but it's lost its lustre since I've had to hold out for awhile. Now, I'm not sure how I want to approach it.

@BobKat22, as long as you post a link to her blog when all is said and done, it's all good ;-)

MarisaKathleen

BobKat22 said:

DD threw up in the car as we pulled in the driveway Thursday night. She continued to puke all night and half of Friday. That was real fun. Now DH came down with it last night and I have a Sinus infection that is making me feel crappy. Sickness sucks. We got the nanny I really liked! I'm so excited! Notices will be turned in to both daycares tomorrow. I was all fired up to be a real bitch to DD's psycho blogger bitch of a sitter, but it's lost its lustre since I've had to hold out for awhile. Now, I'm not sure how I want to approach it.

@loislayn, where's that graphic you posted that she has to use?!

Read the blog again.  I guarantee you'll be pissed at the things she said about you guys and DD enough to come up with something witty. :-)