UOs and Randoms

Hyaline

jenndub said:

Does anyone actually like peas? I hate them. I also really hate raisins, which is very upsetting to some people.

I love peas.  Peas plain, peas with pearl onions, peas in things.

But lima beans can die a slow death.

MRoxy0628

I remembered my real UO/confession.  I've never seen any of the Christmas Vacation movies nor do I have any desire to. 

edited my grammar

BeebopandBuddy

loislayn said:

MRoxy0628 said:

IndigoVader said:

MRoxy0628 said:

This probably isn't an UO, but I think you're an idiot and uneducated (and I'm usually right) if you post articles about white people being shot/killed by police with no rioting as a reason why people shouldn't get upset about the Michael Brown or Eric Garner situations. 

I don't think destruction and violence is ever the right path to take. 

I'm not advocating destruction or violence AT ALL.  I'm saying that there is a lot more behind why people are so upset about these deaths.  The people who are posting these articles come across as saying white people are killed by police too, so why are you upset and I don't think it's comparable.  Yes, police brutality against anyone is terrible, but African Americans are  disproportionately the victims of police brutality.  

True. UO? I don't think the Garner case is necessarily a racial issue.

I agree. I think it is a power issue and a law enforcement issue. It is getting lumped in with Michael Brown because it is another example of the a black man dying at the hands of an officer, however I take issue with the Garner case way more than I did with Michael Brown. Did you see the clip of Jon Stewart talking about it? I lurve him.

BeebopandBuddy

MRoxy0628 said:

I remembered my real UO/confession.  I've never seen any of the Christmas Vacation movies nor to I have any desire to. 

:-O You are missing out. HILARIOUS.

MRoxy0628

BeebopandBuddy said:

MRoxy0628 said:

I remembered my real UO/confession.  I've never seen any of the Christmas Vacation movies nor to I have any desire to. 

:-O You are missing out. HILARIOUS.

I don't like many "old" movies.  I think if I had watched it when I was younger, I might like it, but I've seen small bits and was not impressed. 

pharmer78

@MRoxy0628....16 Candles?

MRoxy0628

@pharmer78 I don't LOVE 16 Candles, but I have seen it and romantic comedies from that time are more up my alley.

@loislayn I like Breakfast Club and Weekend at Bernie's, but no to the others you've mentioned.

I love Girls Just Want to Have Fun.  Oh and has anyone seen Aspen Extreme?  I love that movie. 

Hyaline

I love reallllly old movies--like silent movies through 1940s.

I see your Breakfast Club and raise you anything with Buster Keaton.

Hyaline

IndigoVader said:

I also know parents that send their kids to bed without dinner as a punishment, that upsets me beyond belief. There has to be a better punishment than that.

I do see a difference between this (punishment unrelated to dinner) and the kid refusing to eat dinner so being told "This is dinner, choose to eat or choose not to." And more for older kids, not toddlers--if you're old enough to understand the concept of that choice, you're old enough to deal with the consequences.  No harm ever came from a healthy kid skipping one meal.

I have no issue with the latter, many issues with the former (how does withholding food teach a kid not to be a jerk to his sister, etc?)

hmp1

MRoxy0628 said:I remembered my real UO/confession.  I've never seen any of the Christmas Vacation movies nor do I have any desire to. edited my grammar

psst: there is only one Christmas Vacation

The Vacation movie is ok, the other Vacation movies in the series are not worth your time.

hmp1

IndigoVader said:

I still stand by the stance that I will not send my kids to bed hungry.Most of you have explained to me your thoughts and i can understand and somewhat agree with your position. If my kids decide that today they don't like green beans or carrots, and I know they aren't happy with the meat dish I am serving, I will make them something else- a sandwich or nuggets/something else.That is me, I obviously grew up differently than most of you and take things from a different POV. 

And nobody has a problem with that. I am surprised you would think that any of us, that choose to hang out on a parenting board for the past 3+ years, would be using the same bullying tactic that actually a lot of us grew up with. My parents didn't do it with food but I was forced to finish my glass of milk every night. Guess what, turns out I am lactose sensitive. Today, I don't make my kids drink their milk but if they don't drink it I don't give them juice. I just didn't think that anyone needed to clarify that they are serving multiple items at dinner for their child to pick from on their plate.

Hyaline

IndigoVader said:

Hyaline said:

IndigoVader said:

I also know parents that send their kids to bed without dinner as a punishment, that upsets me beyond belief. There has to be a better punishment than that.

I do see a difference between this (punishment unrelated to dinner) and the kid refusing to eat dinner so being told "This is dinner, choose to eat or choose not to." And more for older kids, not toddlers--if you're old enough to understand the concept of that choice, you're old enough to deal with the consequences.  No harm ever came from a healthy kid skipping one meal.

I have no issue with the latter, many issues with the former (how does withholding food teach a kid not to be a jerk to his sister, etc?)

See, I disagree with you on that. I am living proof. Does it hurt you physically? No, but it fawks with your head.

ETA:Actually, yes it does hurt you physically, at least for the time being. It hurts like a mother fawker to go to bed hungry and try to force yourself to go to sleep and stop crying.

From what you've said, though, IV, this wasn't a one-time thing.  If this was the ONLY excessive punishment you received as a kid, once, I have a feeling your reaction would be different.  As part of a pattern of behavior? Yeah. No.  THAT is what fucks with your head.  I was sent to bed at least once without dinner because I refused to eat what my mom made, but I don't recall much about it.  I do remember learning my parents were serious about "This is what's for dinner," though.  If it had been part of a bigger picture control and emotional abuse issue? I'd remember and it would affect me, probably.

Temporary hurt like feeling hunger pains doesn't count as "harm" to me.  Harm means lasting damage. 

watercolor5

I love peas.  I can't stand beets or lima beans... I don't think I like brussel sprouts, but it's been forever since I've had any, so I'd try them again before ruling them out.

Sophia's food rules are usually that she has to take 2 bites of everything I offer.  She's almost always offered either something she's eaten before and liked, or something with ingredients she has eaten and liked.  If I give her something new and she doesn't like it after trying it, then she doesn't have to keep eating it.

After she has eaten a couple bites of everything, if she just doesn't like the meal that day but is still hungry, then I will offer her a substitute in the same food group.  If she won't eat her baked chicken, she can have a piece of turkey deli meat.  If she doesn't like her pasta, then she can have bread and cheese.  I'm not cooking a second meal, and this doesn't happen daily.  If she likes her food, but is just taking FOREVER to eat, then she can eat three more bites of X and two more bites of Y and be done.  I give her a goal amount to eat to be finished so that I think she's getting an appropriate amount to be full.

So, all that to say... we play it by ear?  I'm not trying to force feed her or make her clean her plate, I'm not sending her to bed with an empty belly, but I'm doing my best to make sure her food is well-balanced and that she eats enough to be full, without turning into a tyrant who tells me what to cook.  Man, feeding little people is hard.

watercolor5

I just got a gift card in the mail for $25 from Boden.  So excited.  I bought a new dress for Sophia and only paid 3 bucks

tyrannasaurusjess

Hyaline said:

I love reallllly old movies--like silent movies through 1940s.

I see your Breakfast Club and raise you anything with Buster Keaton.

I do too.... so what did you think of The Artist?

hmp1

loislayn said:

What about 1 spanking? Is that harmful?

I just don't know where to draw that line between harmful and not harmful.

How did I know this would cycle down to spanking. And I do not think refusing to give my kid a pb&j sandwich every night for dinner is the same as spanking my kid. We don't spank our kids but I'm not going to go down the road of if you spank you are forever harming your child. I was spanked a few times and I am totally fine. It just isn't the type of punishment I find to be effective To me, spanking my kid is teaching him to fear me. And I don't want that. I'm not worried about my kid fearing me because I refuse to make a sandwich when he has eaten all day and is now not eating his already made dinner.

hmp1

watercolor5 said:

I just got a gift card in the mail for $25 from Boden.  So excited.  I bought a new dress for Sophia and only paid 3 bucks

I have been checking for mine all week. This one seems to be going out to more people than their usual free promo cards.

tyrannasaurusjess

Can I be an AW for a second??? I just finished up a doll I made for Briar for Christmas, and I'm super proud of how human good it turned out!! 

(as always, sorry for the giganticness of the pictures I post) I have no clue how to make it smaller. 

MarisaKathleen

Since yesterday when you guys found me that mermaid quilt for Nancy's new room I have found like 187 different mermaid things I want to put in her room.  Sigh.  I also had the idea that since I know how to paint, I can just make her some art.  

I'm probably going to just my favorite one off Etsy and call it a day.

BeebopandBuddy

I think most people that spank, or enforce certain eating rules or whatever they choose to do as parents are not doing so with the intent of harming their child. They do so to teach a kind of respect for rules, to reinforce social norms or to establish some sort of order on their home. Can people go overboard and cause harm? Sure. People can also go overboard and cause harm by not teaching their children respect for rules and discipline. Everyone is trying to walk a fine line to teach their child as best they can and to fight the battles they believe are worth fighting. I think we are all doing things with the best of intentions.

BeebopandBuddy

In summary, parenting is hard, yo.

PenelopePond

Stella

tyrannosaurusjess said:

Can I be an AW for a second??? I just finished up a doll I made for Briar for Christmas, and I'm super proud of how human good it turned out!! 

(as always, sorry for the giganticness of the pictures I post) I have no clue how to make it smaller. 

That is awesome!! Great job!

tyrannasaurusjess

@MarisaKathleen is is this one???

Etsy print

MarisaKathleen

@tyrannosaurusjess, I love this one, but feel like I shouldn't put anything in the room of a toddler that makes mention of finding a mate.  Dude.  She's 2.  I just really like this print:

I'm going to attempt to make this one though, because I know I can do it and make it similar colors to her room.

and I love sequins.

jenndub

melody921 said:

jenndub said:

Jimmy Fallon has a new baby girl and they named her Francis but call her Frannie. So now he has Winnie and and Frannie. I love it!!!!!

I would love it more if he had spelled it right for a girl -- Frances  :-O

Balls, I have no idea how he and his wife spelled it, my husband told me about it. That's how my aunt spells it so I could have it wrong. Too lazy to google.

Hyaline

loislayn said:

hmp1 said:

loislayn said:

What about 1 spanking? Is that harmful?

I just don't know where to draw that line between harmful and not harmful.

How did I know this would cycle down to spanking. And I do not think refusing to give my kid a pb&j sandwich every night for dinner is the same as spanking my kid. We don't spank our kids but I'm not going to go down the road of if you spank you are forever harming your child. I was spanked a few times and I am totally fine. It just isn't the type of punishment I find to be effective To me, spanking my kid is teaching him to fear me. And I don't want that. I'm not worried about my kid fearing me because I refuse to make a sandwich when he has eaten all day and is now not eating his already made dinner.

I know, and I understand. I really do. Your kid not getting a PB&J sandwich for the 3rd meal in a row is not at all the same as a spanking. I was speaking more to the "if it's just done once it isn't harmful" notion. I do think there's a difference between "no soup for you" and finding something else the kid will eat so he doesn't just eat nothing.

I was not trying to say that "nothing done once can be harmful." Duh, some things that are done once can be harmful--like shaking your baby.  I was saying that a pattern of parenting behavior in which withholding food is a form of control and emotional abuse is very different from "you're making a choice not to eat what's in front of you" one time, or even multiple times.  Basically, effects are situational.  Which is kind of a duh statement but there you go.

melody921

IndigoVader said:

I also know parents that send their kids to bed without dinner as a punishment, that upsets me beyond belief. There has to be a better punishment than that.

I don't think withholding food is an appropriate punishment, nor do I think using bedtime as a punishment is wise. DS already is a monkey at bedtime, getting up and down with a million questions. I don't need him associating bedtime with something negative.

jenndub

tinyhumantoe said:

I'm really at a loss for what to name this baby.  I want to go super old - his grandma was Florence I love Flossie!   DH is stuck on Stephanie or Jennifer.  I'm not really sure what meeting in the middle would be, maybe Rosie?  I'm just not in love with any of the names, even Edie which was my 100% choice a few weeks back.

I am making a work thing way harder than it needs to be.  I've been putting it off for a week.  I keep toggling back here because I'm so tired.

Jennifer is a great name...

Name her June so I don't have to have another baby just to use it! I will live vicariously through you.

melody921

MRoxy0628 said:

I remembered my real UO/confession.  I've never seen any of the Christmas Vacation movies nor do I have any desire to. 

edited my grammar

@MRoxy0628, this is blasphemy! The Christmas one is the best of all of them. Cousin Eddie. Enough said.

melody921

tyrannosaurusjess said:

Can I be an AW for a second??? I just finished up a doll I made for Briar for Christmas, and I'm super proud of how human good it turned out!! 

(as always, sorry for the giganticness of the pictures I post) I have no clue how to make it smaller. 

That is ADORABLE and you should be selling them.

Stasi

Hyaline said:

I love reallllly old movies--like silent movies through 1940s.

I see your Breakfast Club and raise you anything with Buster Keaton.

Buster huh?

melody921

BeebopandBuddy said:

In summary, parenting is hard, yo.

This exactly. And a lot has changed over the years regarding what's acceptable/not accepting societal norms when it comes to parenting. And for the most part, that's a good thing.

Stasi

IndigoVader said:

Hyaline said:

I was not trying to say that "nothing done once can be harmful." Duh, some things that are done once can be harmful--like shaking your baby.  I was saying that a pattern of parenting behavior in which withholding food is a form of control and emotional abuse is very different from "you're making a choice not to eat what's in front of you" one time, or even multiple times.  Basically, effects are situational.  Which is kind of a duh statement but there you go.

But do you see what I have been trying to say? Doesn't it all start somewhere? Maybe as a lesson that you will eat what is in front of you-(even if you don't like it) or go hungry this one time that leads to another times, so on and so forth? It very well could be one of us that would go to that extreme, even if we choose to believe it won't be.

I think it's more like "you can choose to eat what is in front of you, or go hungry this one time...." Not forceably making them eat food that's gross to them.

ETA: The line we tell Kate (almost daily) is "you don't have to eat" I encourage her to take a bite of everything, but I'm not going to make a huge battle out of it because I don't want her to have a negative viewpoint of dinner. I'm just not going to cook a different meal for her either. If that makes sense.

Hyaline

IndigoVader said:

Hyaline said:

I was not trying to say that "nothing done once can be harmful." Duh, some things that are done once can be harmful--like shaking your baby.  I was saying that a pattern of parenting behavior in which withholding food is a form of control and emotional abuse is very different from "you're making a choice not to eat what's in front of you" one time, or even multiple times.  Basically, effects are situational.  Which is kind of a duh statement but there you go.

But do you see what I have been trying to say? Doesn't it all start somewhere? Maybe as a lesson that you will eat what is in front of you-(even if you don't like it) or go hungry this one time that leads to another times, so on and so forth? It very well could be one of us that would go to that extreme, even if we choose to believe it won't be.

I do see what you're saying.  There's a key word, though, IV: Start.  Start implies the beginning of a pattern or the first step in something that goes to extremes. Choosing to believe has nothing to do with it--making consistent and loving choices in the long-term does.  And those choices means that the thing you're afraid of *starting*, won't.

hmp1

loislayn said:

hmp1 said:

loislayn said:

What about 1 spanking? Is that harmful?

I just don't know where to draw that line between harmful and not harmful.

How did I know this would cycle down to spanking. And I do not think refusing to give my kid a pb&j sandwich every night for dinner is the same as spanking my kid. We don't spank our kids but I'm not going to go down the road of if you spank you are forever harming your child. I was spanked a few times and I am totally fine. It just isn't the type of punishment I find to be effective To me, spanking my kid is teaching him to fear me. And I don't want that. I'm not worried about my kid fearing me because I refuse to make a sandwich when he has eaten all day and is now not eating his already made dinner.

I know, and I understand. I really do. Your kid not getting a PB&J sandwich for the 3rd meal in a row is not at all the same as a spanking. I was speaking more to the "if it's just done once it isn't harmful" notion. I do think there's a difference between "no soup for you" and finding something else the kid will eat so he doesn't just eat nothing.

And if this is my child's choice, I have no problem with it. Like I said, my kids are not kicking and screaming on the floor that they are hungry when they don't eat dinner so I don't sweat the no eating. If someone needs the peace of mind in feeding their kid a pb&j sandwich because they know they will eat it, fine. I don't need that. Even if James doesn't eat dinner, I know for a fact he will eat a cookie if I gave it to him. Doesn't mean he is hungry or needs to eat.

hmp1

loislayn said:

Isn't "you'll eat what I put in front of you or you won't eat at all" controlling? I can't tell you how many times I heard that, along with "I brought you into this world, I'll take you out of it." K, cool. Now I fear you but I don't respect you.

I have no problem controlling my kids.

hmp1

IndigoVader said:

Ok, cool. You do your parenting thing and I will do mine. My kids won't go to bed hungry,period. 

How many times to I have to type that my kids do not ask for more food. Not eating =/= hungry ffs.

hmp1

IndigoVader said:

hmp1 said:

IndigoVader said:

Ok, cool. You do your parenting thing and I will do mine. My kids won't go to bed hungry,period. 

How many times to I have to type that my kids do not ask for more food. Not eating =/= hungry ffs.

FFS not everything is about you!!

Ok cool. Sure looked like it was in response to my post.

melody921

hmp1 said:

IndigoVader said:

hmp1 said:

IndigoVader said:

Ok, cool. You do your parenting thing and I will do mine. My kids won't go to bed hungry,period. 

How many times to I have to type that my kids do not ask for more food. Not eating =/= hungry ffs.

FFS not everything is about you!!

Ok cool. Sure looked like it was in response to my post.

Hyaline

loislayn said:

Isn't "you'll eat what I put in front of you or you won't eat at all" controlling? I can't tell you how many times I heard that, along with "I brought you into this world, I'll take you out of it." K, cool. Now I fear you but I don't respect you.

Picking a food you know your kid won't eat and then saying this? Insisting that the kid eat EVERYTHING on his or her plate regardless of whether or not he or she is hungry? Yeah, emotional control because you're trying to assert control over an outcome you already know.

Picking longtime favorites or including a food the kid likes with a new dish, and the kid decides to test the boundaries by announcing "I HATE lasagna?"  No, telling the kid that "you can choose to eat this, or you can choose to sit quietly while we eat" is not emotional control.  It's discipline.  And I have no issue with a parent asserting discipline.

FFS, this isn't even an issue in our house, nor will it be.  I've taken a proactive route on this in our house by instituting a bedtime snack so that we don't compromise on "this is for dinner" but no one goes to bed hungry.  It's not like there are no options aside from "eat or go hungry" or "I'll make you WHATEVER you want."