Thursday Randoms ***

golfingdarwinfish

Cantisa said:

Whenever LO's head is near my boob his mouth opens and he move towards my nipple.  I feel so bad because they're empty!  Poor guy was promised food there and there's none!

^#(^

Hugs! It's not your fault!! Tell yourself it's just his reflexes

I just wish I had something for him!

He occasionally does it to DH and so DH pulled his shirt up the other day...  8-|   The skin to skin is good, but I felt like he was teasing him! 

savicke2009

Prayers for you & Alex @Syllessa‌!

Emerald27

golfingdarwinfish said:

Whenever LO's head is near my boob his mouth opens and he move towards my nipple.  I feel so bad because they're empty!  Poor guy was promised food there and there's none!

^#(^

Don't feel bad! It's instinct. And he is so secure in your love. You can feed him his bottle while holding him skin-to-skin as though you were nursing him. That's a great way to bond through feeding.

Emerald27

@Cantisa She's yours! Take her back and feed her. Happens here too, but my family learned about my mama bear side with DS1. If emerald thinks her baby is hungry, nobody stands in her way.

Seriously, though. You can say "it's time for me to feed her. I'll bring her to you when she's all done." Whether or not you give her back is entirely up to you!

AmandaJean12

Cantisa said:

@Cantisa She's yours! Take her back and feed her. Happens here too, but my family learned about my mama bear side with DS1. If emerald thinks her baby is hungry, nobody stands in her way. Seriously, though. You can say "it's time for me to feed her. I'll bring her to you when she's all done." Whether or not you give her back is entirely up to you!

I think part of it is the fact that my family is not very knowledgable about breastfeeding too. "Oh she can't be hungry again! She just ate! Give her a paci." "You don't hold her all day do you?!" Oy vey.

I get that too, because no one else in my family breastfed. I mentioned to my mom that she must be in a growth spurt because she wants to eat every 2 hours, and my mom's response was "just don't let her." Um... Thanks for trying to give advice mom, but starving my baby wasn't quite what I had in mind. 

golfingdarwinfish

Cantisa said:

@AmandaJean12‌ ugh I know! Like the people who ask why isn't your 3 week old STTN the night yet? ;-)

Wait, do people actually ask that?

MuffinMom14

golfingdarwinfish said:

Whenever LO's head is near my boob his mouth opens and he move towards my nipple.  I feel so bad because they're empty!  Poor guy was promised food there and there's none!

^#(^

Same. She's taken to trying it on my husband. THAT is hard to watch.

erinchrisitne424

ashie0610 said:

Emerald27 said:

theresat858 said:

Emerald27 said:

Nicb13 said:

I feel so much guilt these days like the baby takes away from my time with my son. It makes me sad.

Any tips from other moms with multiple kids?

Feeling the same way! Need those tips. I also feel like I have no time to connect with baby either!

I have no tips except daycare and the grandparents are saving my life. Dd1 did say "I miss you, mommy" again yesterday, and wants me to do everything -- like put her to bed every night, when DH did that 4-6 nights a week pre baby.
I did manage to read to both of them this morning. I hold dd1 while nursing dd2 with Mickey Mouse on when it is just the three of us.

I always feel so guilty when I'm feeding LO and DS1 won't sit with me and color or read a book with me or do some activity that I can easily manage with him. He asks me over and over to do stuff that I can't do while nursing LO.

And the acting out is getting extreme. Running down the sidewalk and turning corners without waiting, despite me telling him to stop. Not coming when called. Kid does not listen at all and it makes me fear taking him anywhere! I guess I'm just not good at parenting a toddler with my arms full.

I could have written this myself @emerald27. I didn't expect him to be the hardest part of having a second child.

I third this post. My 4 year old has turned into a spazz. He is like Tazmanian devil he just never slows down. Love him dearly and he was hard to keep up with before but now that my hands are full its 10xs worse.

LightBright515

I'm ready for this pedi appointment Monday. I think I have a colic baby.

And my mom is gone until next Saturday. Cue all the tears...

LightBright515

I'm supposed to be napping, but I hear my baby wailing with SO.

pnwlover12

crawford411 said:

I'm trying to figure out whether to wake up DD and feed her before the trick or treaters come in a half hour. I'm also trying to decide if it's too cold to just sit outside with her so I don't have to get up 47,000 times.  DH is working until 6:30, so he won't be home until a little after 7. Trick or treat is from 6-8.

Trick or treaters? A day early?

cmac6186

Found out my substitute teacher was BSC and was writing conspiracy theory quotes on my board and having my senior law students do things like writing an essay entitled "I am special". Um WTAF. Thankfully he is canned and a new sub (proven to have done a good job) started yesterday.

golfingdarwinfish

I decided to e-mail my psychiatrist to start meds because I think I'm starting to develop an unhealthy level of anxiety that there's something wrong with LO.  Today I'm obsessing because it's harder for me to bicycle one of his legs because he likes to keep it bent, and he's incredibly stubborn about unbending it when I try to do it, he has to do it on his own.  There's also more resistance period when I try to manipulate that leg.  

Anyway, I haven't spoken to my psych since he weaned me off meds in Dec so that we could trying TTC in January.  I love that the first line of his response was, "Congratulations  !!!  You made my day"

Thanks, doc.  He also wants me to bring him to my appointment, which I appreciate.

gooberdoofus95

Unfortunately when I read the random thread I have a pen and paper to write everyone's names down that I want to respond to. However we had our first pedi appointment this morning and everything was fine expect for her color. So they sent us to the hospital for blood test to see how high her bilirubin was. Got a call back about noon and it was 21 and toxic to her so now we have been at the hospial getting phototherapy done and will be staying the night! I feel so bad for her and I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open while she sleeps.

bumpuser10309732

@gooberdoofus95‌ awe, baby girl gettin her tan on. I hope she feels better soon so you can get some sleep, you know better than thE 30 minutes crap in the hospital

vrj0522

@syllessa - hugs! T&Ps for Alex!

@LightBright515 - I'm sorry baby is going through a rough time! Hoping it's not colic but just a few hard days!

[Deleted User]

@gooberdoofus95‌ T&Ps for you!

vrj0522

Went to the pedi today. My poor baby got poked on the heel and broke my heart while she screamed in pain. She's now been napping for almost 3 hrs. I think it all was too exhausting for her.

On a good note, she is now 2 oz over birth weight! I've been a nervous wreck because of my supply issues with DS but this baby is breastfeeding like a champ! Insert sigh of relief. 

LightBright515

Ugh. I can't handle a heel prick at next weeks appointment.

LightBright515

All I do is freaking cry. I'm hoping my diet isn't the cause of possible gas pains. The freaking food modifications are my entire diet...

MrsSinner402

@gooberdoofus95‌ aww, shes so precious in the little shades and tanning booth. FX all turns out well and you get some sleep!

bumpuser10309732

I hate the baby heel pricks too. When we were in the hospital they were training someone to do labs and they were dicking around with it and her cry was so sad. I wasn't allowed to get out of the bed yet I started crying too and I flipped out!! They poked the bear. I'm dreading the two month check up with shots.

MuffinMom14

The nights are the worst. I normally melt down around this time. I just told my husband the two of them would be better without me and I meant it.

I've looked at these same walls for all of October, except when I was at the hospital.

Syllessa

FI and I had to help hold Alex down for more blood draws. By the end, all 3 of us were crying. Other than that, it's just been hurry up and wait around here.

windwithfingers

The witching hour has begun.

MrsSinner402

SPurp13 said:

The nights are the worst. I normally melt down around this time. I just told my husband the two of them would be better without me and I meant it.

I've looked at these same walls for all of October, except when I was at the hospital.

Purp..

bumpuser10309732

@Syllessa‌ ((creepy Internet hugs))

pnwlover12

Syllessa said:

FI and I had to help hold Alex down for more blood draws. By the end, all 3 of us were crying. Other than that, it's just been hurry up and wait around here.

My heart is aching for you. Stay strong momma.

bumpuser10309732

@SPurp13‌ I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. The nights will get better. ((Hugs)) You'll get there, give yourself some time to get comfortable. This shit is hard and DH and that baby love you!

bumpuser10309732

windwithfingers said:

The witching hour has begun.

Yeah LO turns into one of these

MuffinMom14

I just tried to feed my baby and she wouldn't stop screaming so I had my husband take her and I came upstairs and cried while I listened to her scream. He is begging me to just formula feed at this point. The guilt I feel at not being able to do this is unreal, but I don't think I can even like her, let alone love her, if I keep trying to breastfeed. My baby is going to eat out of a can, because I can't get my shit together long enough to bond with her. I honestly think that's it. I think my brain would be having the same reaction to trying to breastfeed a wild racoon. It's not working because psychologically, I don't think I have a baby. Reading all the bf struggles on the board actually really makes me sad. Cluster feeding and up all night. I don't make enough to deal with that, so it's just crack open a can and stuff it in her mouth while I pump .5 of an oz. I pump all day for one bottle. When is it not worth it?

I feel like I'm letting down all the people who have been so helpful and supportive, like the LC who has caked me every night and seen me three times, my husband's aunt who was off the week I was in the hospital but cane every day to help (and talk the pediatrician on call into letting me take her home, since the nurse called my doctor to say she didn't think the baby would be cared for at home and shouldn't be released to me). All of that, and I just quit.

windwithfingers

@SPurp13‌ I have legitimately thought I should just leave DS with my mom and run away because she can calm him better and is more patient and knows what she's doing. It took me weeks to look at DS and think "I love you and am glad I had you." I am still awkward with him, especially when it comes to talking to him. I cry almost every night when he wakes up because I have no idea what he wants/needs. I often think MH would be doing a much better job with him if he were here.

So what I'm trying to say is you're not alone in your feelings.

MuffinMom14

windwithfingers said:

@SPurp13‌ I have legitimately thought I should just leave DS with my mom and run away because she can calm him better and is more patient and knows what she's doing. It took me weeks to look at DS and think "I love you and am glad I had you." I am still awkward with him, especially when it comes to talking to him. I cry almost every night when he wakes up because I have no idea what he wants/needs. I often think MH would be doing a much better job with him if he were here.

So what I'm trying to say is you're not alone in your feelings.

I feel stupid talking to her. She doesn't understand. I have all these books I was going to read to her. I hardly pick her up. I held her once today other than holding her down to force her to try to breastfeed. I'm sitting here pumping while my husband holds her.

My MIL fed her today. That was supposed to be the one thing I could do for her. Now a homeless person off of the street could do it. My MIL is amazing with her. She's the toughest broad I've ever met but she melts for this baby and I'm scared she will realize I'm not fit to be a mother. She already has said that about my sil. And I agreed. Until I Had this baby and realized I suck even worse. At least she breastfed for three months. I made it 2 days without supplementing, and if I quit today, 2 weeks total.

LightBright515

windwithfingers said:

@SPurp13‌ I have legitimately thought I should just leave DS with my mom and run away because she can calm him better and is more patient and knows what she's doing. It took me weeks to look at DS and think "I love you and am glad I had you." I am still awkward with him, especially when it comes to talking to him. I cry almost every night when he wakes up because I have no idea what he wants/needs. I often think MH would be doing a much better job with him if he were here. So what I'm trying to say is you're not alone in your feelings.

thank you for this. I'm literally a ball of tears when my mom is better with her than me. I'm hoping that after my mom gets back from vacation, I'll feel more comfortable.

windwithfingers

@SPurp13‌ I wish there was more I could say to help. Or if we lived closer, we could talk face to face. We have similar feelings, minus the formula vs. breast. I hate that you got off to a bad start and I know that logic isn't exactly something that penetrates sometimes. It feels like this stage will never end, like we'll go on forever stuck with a baby who can't understand us and won't sleep and can't communicate. Or that's how I feel anyway. I'm so glad you have your husband because he sounds great. I think the best I can do is remind myself that I'll eventually be able to cope better and then hope that that's actually true.

>:D<

pnwlover12

Gavin's bilirubin level went from 16.7 (I could have sworn the mw said 16.9 on the phone but I saw the labs so for sure it was 16.7) to 15.8 today. So, good news that it's going down, but I need to get him checked again tomorrow. That will make the 5th heel prick since he was born. Poor guy.

savicke2009

pnwlover12 said:

Gavin's bilirubin level went from 16.7 (I could have sworn the mw said 16.9 on the phone but I saw the labs so for sure it was 16.7) to 15.8 today. So, good news that it's going down, but I need to get him checked again tomorrow. That will make the 5th heel prick since he was born. Poor guy.

Glad its going down- but sorry he has to go back again

savicke2009

Im trying to find cute holiday clothes for my kids that aren't a. super matchy and/or b. tacky.. the struggle is real..

Also, prayers for baby alex and his mama and dad..

And purp, I wish you wouldnt beat yourself up so much about how you feed your baby. . 20 years from now shes not going to hate you because she got formula.. my oldest was formula fed from a few months old and im pretty sure hes smarter than I am.. and he loves his mom more than anything in the world..you will make so many choices as a parent that this is really a drop in the bucket! ♥

Emerald27

@knittymeggy How old is he?

Lots of skin to skin, and take advantage of the rooting. When he bobs his head on your chest or roots, guide him to your breast and tickle his lips with your nipple to encourage him to open his mouth. Then try to latch him. If he becomes frustrated, pause and return him to your chest and start over once he's calm and happy.

Is he getting bottles now? One thing you can do is bottle feed shirtless, with his cheek against your breast. During the feeding, remove the bottle and offer your breast instead. See if he'll latch.

If his cord has fallen off, you can take a warm bath with him (when you have extra helping hands around - wet babies are slippery). Warm water and skin to skin are often like a magic reset button for babies and nursing. So many babies who reject the breast at all other times will nurse in the bath. It can be great practice for bringing them back to the breast.

Lastly, and this is super important - contact an IBCLC or LLL Leader for support, encouragement, and help getting Parker nursing. Sometimes it can be too much to try to do on your own, and my cookie-cutter, generic advice won't work for every mother-baby pair. Better to talk to someone about YOUR baby and YOUR specific situation, to get tailored help and provide the best outcome.

Also, sorry the folks at the hospital were no help: boo

angeltennis3

I have been terrible at keeping up with what is going on with everyone...but hugs to everyone who needs it. These tiny humans are hard and every woman on this board is pouring her heart and soul into doing what they hope is best for their LO. That is what we should all focus on. We WILL get through the newborn stage. We WILL get through the recovery from our birth experiences. We WILL get past these hurdles in our LO health.

>:D<