@SPurp13
Tough love moment... You are torturing yourself over boobs and its interfering with your relationship with tour kid. I think your DH is right. You aren't letting anyone down by making a decision that provides everyone some rest and peace. I think at this point, you should seriously consider formula feeding for your own sanity and happiness. Audrey will never be worse for it and if anything, she will just be happier having her mama happy. And when she has kids and feels like she's failing, you can tell her about this and show her that love is what really matters. At the end of the day, its just food. Forgive yourself and your body, and let it go.
All of this purp. Your ability to be a mother is not measured by how you feed your baby. I was formula fed and I'm still pretty sure she's the best mom on the planet. ((Hugs))
@SPurp13 My heart aches for you. You are suffering so much. Big big hugs!!
When is your first postpartum follow-up? It sounds like you might benefit from talking to someone about how you're feeling - about feeling like you're not bonding with DD and about feeling like you're not a good mother. Your fears are significant and it could help so much to talk to someone.
You are a wonderful mother, and you and DD will bond. Sometimes it's not automatic. It takes time and even effort. Babies are a lot of work and they're draining. All we can ever do is our best. Sounds to me like you're loving DD just by doing your best for her! You might not feel all oogly over her yet, but you have given so much of yourself for her already. If that's not love, then I have no idea what is!
Maybe making an effort to hold her more, to pick up those books and read them to her, sit her on your lap and talk to her, carry her around the house and tell her what you see ("now we're in the living room, and here are your kitties! This one is orange, which makes him the best."), will help you attach to her. When you make the switch to formula, maybe it would actually help for you to remain her sole (or at least primary) source of food, that is, you can be the only one feeding her her bottles so that it remains a mother-daughter thing.
You can also feed LO using the "bottle nursing" technique, which is intended to strengthen attachment and bonding while bottle feeding. You can google it, or here's one explanation of how it works:
So MIL came by to check on us and was telling me about what she had for dinner and how good it was. Then asked if I had eaten and I said maybe half of a sandwich before DD started flipping out. So then she was here helping me with a fussy baby. Yeah she lasted an hour before it was like I'm sorry and went home. I guess at least I got to stuff the other half of the sandwich in my face?
I just killed my own spider. I pretty much have arachniphobia so that's kind of a big deal. That fucker was the size of a quarter. I left his dead spider body there incase any other spiders get the same idea. Try to eat my family and you die!
I just killed my own spider. I pretty much have arachniphobia so that's kind of a big deal. That fucker was the size of a quarter. I left his dead spider body there incase any other spiders get the same idea. Try to eat my family and you die!
@Nicb13 I try to give lo to dh and spend some one on one time with ds. I also make an effort to tell him I love him and give him hugs and kisses more than usual. Dd is older so she could care less if I pay attention to her.
Wow, Randoms thread. There was a lot of sadness and frustration and stress and love and real talk today. I love this board. I'll be praying for several of you tonight.
@ angeltennis3 I felt the same exact way after my last cs. I actually stayed in the hospital an extra day because I didn't know how I would get out of bed. I ended up sleeping on the couch sitting up with pillows all around me for a couple days. Then I moved to my bed with a step stool to get in and out of bed. Walking will help your recovery so much! Not long walks but just walking around your house or a little at the store. You don't want to over do it. If you are tired then rest. This time I got up and walking as soon as I could feel my legs and my recovery has been 1000% easier!
Thanks everyone. I need to do something, and I don't know what it is.
I met with my GP yesterday and the OB today. I told them both how I'm feeling. The GP said it was up to me whether we increased my medications, but we were both hesitant, because I'm trying to breastfeed AND, we don't know how much is true depression vs. hormones at this point. The OB was like "yeah, my daughter-in-law couldn't breastfeed after a c section either, but was able to after a vaginal birth." YEAH. I tried to TELL you that before the section, bitch. I KNEW this would happen, but that doctor loves to cut. I knew I was having a section from the moment I got pregnant. She SAYS I have a narrow pelvis and it was necessary, but we didn't know that at the time a c section was decided on, and who's to say I couldn't have done it? No one knows.
I have this crazy idea that if I pump every hour it might do something. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. My husband went to bed with the kid, and I'm on the internet trying to figure out how to make my boobs work.
So I know some spit up is totally normal and baby seems to be a "happy spitter"...but man she spits up a lot! The ones 45 min-an hour after feeding always confuse me.
Could it be acid reflex? Ds1 had acid reflex and spit up a lot and at random non feeding times.
I had no idea what everyone on the board was going through until today. By starting this thread I feel like I was able to catch up a lot. Thoughts and my sincerest prayers to all who are going through a rough patch. @SPurp13 my prayers are with you. I have been thinking about you through the day every time I check back on the thread. You are a great mom and it shows in your concern with bonding with your daughter. All the joy in the world is being sent your way. @Emerald27 thank you for sharing your wisdom on BFing I have just been expressing and trying to learn the nursing thing. Eli is doing well with it. I just am having issues with comfort with it, same as I did with my first.
@SPurp13 breastfeeding doesn't make you a good or bad mom. Your baby needs to eat and you are being a good mom by feeding her whatever you need to feed her whether it happens to be breast milk or formula. I think the pressure you feel to breastfeed is putting unnecessary stress on you. Being a new mom is stressful enough without added stress. What if you start slowly by supplementing and still give her any milk you do make?
I'm pretty sure this is a uo but I could care less if dh plays video games as long as there isn't important stuff we need to be doing. If we are both relaxing or I'm just doing little things, he could play as long as he wants. I even watch him play some of the games. They are kind of fun to watch.
I'm pretty sure this is a uo but I could care less if dh plays video games as long as there isn't important stuff we need to be doing. If we are both relaxing or I'm just doing little things, he could play as long as he wants. I even watch him play some of the games. They are kind of fun to watch.
One of my favorite pastimes was heckling DH while he played Dragon Age. Watching him play video games was a nightly thing in our house. I enjoyed it.
Me: 30 | DH: 4/12/85 - 6/16/14 | Quinn Patrick born 9/28/14
@SPurp13 How frequently are you pumping now, and how much do you get? How often do you nurse?
@Emerald27 Until last night, I was nursing, then using a sns system, then pumping every 3 hours. Most of the time the baby won't do anything at the breast. She latches well. But she only gets around .5 of an oz every feed so we have to supplement. She's taking anywhere from 1-3 oz of supplement in a feeding. I get anywhere from .5 to 1 oz at a time.
I honestly think it's a combo of my not producing and her not transferring.
Re: Thursday Randoms ***
All of this purp. Your ability to be a mother is not measured by how you feed your baby. I was formula fed and I'm still pretty sure she's the best mom on the planet. ((Hugs))
When is your first postpartum follow-up? It sounds like you might benefit from talking to someone about how you're feeling - about feeling like you're not bonding with DD and about feeling like you're not a good mother. Your fears are significant and it could help so much to talk to someone.
You are a wonderful mother, and you and DD will bond. Sometimes it's not automatic. It takes time and even effort. Babies are a lot of work and they're draining. All we can ever do is our best. Sounds to me like you're loving DD just by doing your best for her! You might not feel all oogly over her yet, but you have given so much of yourself for her already. If that's not love, then I have no idea what is!
Maybe making an effort to hold her more, to pick up those books and read them to her, sit her on your lap and talk to her, carry her around the house and tell her what you see ("now we're in the living room, and here are your kitties! This one is orange, which makes him the best."), will help you attach to her. When you make the switch to formula, maybe it would actually help for you to remain her sole (or at least primary) source of food, that is, you can be the only one feeding her her bottles so that it remains a mother-daughter thing.
You can also feed LO using the "bottle nursing" technique, which is intended to strengthen attachment and bonding while bottle feeding. You can google it, or here's one explanation of how it works:
https://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2092
Badass!!
I met with my GP yesterday and the OB today. I told them both how I'm feeling. The GP said it was up to me whether we increased my medications, but we were both hesitant, because I'm trying to breastfeed AND, we don't know how much is true depression vs. hormones at this point. The OB was like "yeah, my daughter-in-law couldn't breastfeed after a c section either, but was able to after a vaginal birth." YEAH. I tried to TELL you that before the section, bitch. I KNEW this would happen, but that doctor loves to cut. I knew I was having a section from the moment I got pregnant. She SAYS I have a narrow pelvis and it was necessary, but we didn't know that at the time a c section was decided on, and who's to say I couldn't have done it? No one knows.
I have this crazy idea that if I pump every hour it might do something. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. My husband went to bed with the kid, and I'm on the internet trying to figure out how to make my boobs work.
@SPurp13 my prayers are with you. I have been thinking about you through the day every time I check back on the thread. You are a great mom and it shows in your concern with bonding with your daughter. All the joy in the world is being sent your way.
@Emerald27 thank you for sharing your wisdom on BFing I have just been expressing and trying to learn the nursing thing. Eli is doing well with it. I just am having issues with comfort with it, same as I did with my first.
I honestly think it's a combo of my not producing and her not transferring.