First month on vitex

breezybee

I cannot stop laughing.  The irony of saying if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it all - WHILE SAYING NOTHING NICE and lecturing a bunch of women about how mean they are - WHEN NONE OF US had anything to do with the original thread. 
Hahahahaha, thanks @hkidwell

beachbunnyxo123

@hkidwell  so basically you searched for vitex, didn't find the answer you were looking for here and decided to blame your frustration on a group of innocent women for a post from over two years ago? 

@eggplantface me too! I thought to myself damn I was only busy at work the past two days how much have I missed? But then when I saw @PrimRoseMama I knew it was a zombie thread although it would've been nice to see prim stopping by!

garnetandgoldgrace

All these ladies were my girls!!! Miss them all so much and it's the reason I have showed up again This is such a lovely flashback. 

WitandWhimsy

hkidwell said:

Wow, I haven't posted here since I made my account years ago, but I do like to read forums from people who seem to be experiencing similar things to me.

After reading the comments to the OP here, all I thought of was "wow, what mean people." If you're here, you most likely know what it's like to be in a TWW where all you want is some encouragement or to hear about someone else's success story to compare yours to. If your response to someone's question is going to basically call that person stupid and insult them, what's the point in even responding? It makes you look ugly, spreads unkindness, and potentially hurts the feelings of someone who came here because they're struggling with the heartache of infertility. I legitimately was surprised at how mean, right out of the gate the responses were to this woman.

I do realize that this post is from a while back, but I really felt compelled to hi-light how unhelpful, unsupportive, and unkind some people are and how it's better to say nothing at all than look like a jerk and hurt someone's feelings for no reason.

Who the fuck are you?

EmilyLove25

So guys... should I take Vitex or what? 

Anna_1021

@beachbunnyxo123 @eggplantface Same here! I was like "ohm....missing the dailies and cosying in the IF thead for a while, and I don't recognize anyone anymore"  

hkidwell

.

WitandWhimsy

hkidwell said:

It was my hope that by saying something, it would point out how your words were coming off to some people as a bit harsh. When it comes to the "who even are you?"... I'm a member of this community and am obviously on a journey similar to yours; so I have just as much of a right to comment on things as anyone else does. Instead of reading what I originally said and thinking even more defensively, or trying to establish some sense of power, maybe you could turn inward and think "am I being a positive influence in this community? Did I say something harshly that I could have worded more compassionately?" I think the fact that my comment was greeted the way it was, only affirms my original sentiment. I have a master's degree in communication and have spent a great portion of my life looking at the ways in which our approach to communication effects our relationships. When I read some of the comments (not all of them), I felt sad for the original poster and felt moved to say something for their sake. I realized how old the post was, but that didn't change the emotion or the fact that it is a post that is still currently being brought forward by searching "vitex" on google. It may be old, but people still read it.

Have you ever heard the quote "When someone tells you that you hurt their feelings, you don't get to decide that you didn't"? Listening with the goal being to connect compassionately with someone else will only help everyone. Putting out good karma is always a good thing. I don't personally know anyone here, so I wouldn't make a claim to know who you are as people or generalize about whether or not you're one way or the other - my original comment was just specifically about comments here seeming unkind. There are ways that you can empathetically suggest that someone speak with their doctor other than basically telling them that they're stupid for posting a question here rather than go to the doctor.

*SIAB*

But there was literally NO point for you to comment on this thread. Almost all the original posters haven't been on TB in over 2 years. Don't give us shit for what was said FFS.

SoldiersMom

@hkidwell Buuuutttt....none of US had anything to do with the thread you commented on. A lot of us weren't even members then, so you're painting with a wide brush and making a generalization on this community as it is now based on how it was then?? How is that fair?

lund

I'm just gonna let the other ladies handle this. I mean, not that I don't feel that I should bow down to you for having a masters in communications or anything...  

Did your degree teach you anything about reading a group's rules, guidelines, and getting to know their culture? No? 

andplusalso...

[Deleted User]

@hkidwell how are you a member of the community when you only have two posts on here?  I seriously know nothing about you and you know nothing at all about any of us.

It blows my mind that you allegedly have a master's in communication but the words "none of the original posters are active here anymore" is just somehow way beyond your grasp.

You are literally that crazy person on the street screaming at no one in particular.

eggplantface

None of the original posters are still here! How many times do we have to tell you this? And further, the OP and responses happened before the mass exodus of January 2015, when the Bump culture changed quite a bit. Tell me with your master in communications, what about this are we not communicating effectively to you?



I have an idea, since you're so fired up about this: Send a PM to each of the people who responded in 2014 and tell them how awful they are. Then PM the OP because you clearly feel terrible for her and I'm sure 2.5 years later she's still upset about it and could use your kind words of support, then let this thread die. Again.

JennyColada

For someone who wants to point out how our "words are coming off", you sure don't seem to be open to getting feedback on how your own words come across.

lulu1180

@BumpAdmin Can we please get this thread closed to keep it from repeatedly being resurrected by @hkidwell?

justkeepswimming8

WitandWhimsy

Come on guiseeez she's a super cereal member 

lund

hahahaha, and the DD. Good catch with the QFP @WitandWhimsy

doula-mama

hkidwell said:

It was my hope that by saying something, it would point out how your words were coming off to some people as a bit harsh. When it comes to the "who even are you?"... I'm a member of this community and am obviously on a journey similar to yours; so I have just as much of a right to comment on things as anyone else does. Instead of reading what I originally said and thinking even more defensively, or trying to establish some sense of power, maybe you could turn inward and think "am I being a positive influence in this community? Did I say something harshly that I could have worded more compassionately?" I think the fact that my comment was greeted the way it was, only affirms my original sentiment. I have a master's degree in communication and have spent a great portion of my life looking at the ways in which our approach to communication effects our relationships. When I read some of the comments (not all of them), I felt sad for the original poster and felt moved to say something for their sake. I realized how old the post was, but that didn't change the emotion or the fact that it is a post that is still currently being brought forward by searching "vitex" on google. It may be old, but people still read it.

Have you ever heard the quote "When someone tells you that you hurt their feelings, you don't get to decide that you didn't"? Listening with the goal being to connect compassionately with someone else will only help everyone. Putting out good karma is always a good thing. I don't personally know anyone here, so I wouldn't make a claim to know who you are as people or generalize about whether or not you're one way or the other - my original comment was just specifically about comments here seeming unkind. There are ways that you can empathetically suggest that someone speak with their doctor other than basically telling them that they're stupid for posting a question here rather than go to the doctor.

SITB 
@hkidwell I bolded a really key points in your illogical argument:

1 - Not a single one of us was involved in the original post so please, go ahead and explain how we hurt anyone's feelings? In fact, in my original response to you, I pointed out that you accusing the current community of being a bunch of mean girls was in fact hurtful to some of us - and yet you get to decide that you aren't? 

2 - You said that you don't know us and don't generalize, but in your original post you said the following

hkidwell said:

I do realize that this post is from a while back, but I really felt compelled to hi-light how unhelpful, unsupportive, and unkind some people are and how it's better to say nothing at all than look like a jerk and hurt someone's feelings for no reason.

You literally said that some people here were unhelpful, unsupportive and unkind - based on the words of posters from two years ago! If that isn't a generalization, I'm not sure what is! 

Dialogue and disagreement is one thing - see some of this week's threads as perfect examples... But expecting all of us to take responsibility for things said by a different group of women two years ago, while not taking responsibility for your own? You seem to just be posting inciting comments, while not responding to any of the valid dialogue that some of us are trying to engage in. 

kiki75

This is one heck of a zombie. If only I could mobile gif. Insert zombie in riot gear. 

Reading comprehension isn't your strong suit, is it?

sunniegrly

BumpAdmin

This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s unwelcoming tone. Continuing to create threads related to this topic will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.

Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.

To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.