The motherthread of hormonal bitching!!

CandEChicago

smack427 said:

CandEChicago said:

smack427 said:

Also, has anyone had issues with their MIL not being into shopping? Mine came with us earlier this week and did not buy a single thing for my child. Is there something you STMs can tell me about how your mothers were more into your LO than your MIL?

You are upset since MIL didn't buy anything for the LO? I would not expect my MIL to buy anything.

Maybe MIL wanted to spend quality time with you? Maybe MIL has something else planned? If people (parents, ILs, etc) want to give you a gift that is fine but it irks me that it seems you expected MIL to buy you/LO something during a shopping trip.

Just because she didn't buy anything does not indicate a lack of interest in your LO.

Maybe I should have mentioned that I had a pass for her to come with us to a market that I signed up for in July. She was my guest. She walked around without me for an hour or two and showed no interest the entire time. My mom and I showed her several things and she turned her nose up. My mom was offended too that she was acting very stand-offish and not participating in the market with us.

Not sure how to follow this. So because you invited her as your guest she was therefore required to buy something for the LO?

I invite friends out to join me at street fairs/specialty markets/sample sales (and vice versa) but there has not been an expectation that they needed to buy something for me since they were my guest. I invited them because I simply enjoy their company.

smack427

I guess what I'm asking is how my mother in law showed no interest in the market or spending time with us and looking through the clothes and other items. Maybe she just isn't into used clothes? It's not about her buying us things but she was looking for stuff for other peoples babies and even for her dogs. I don't get it. And she wants to take us to Dallas to buy the crib/nursery furniture/etc. So it has nothing to do with money... Maybe she just likes flashy things? I want to understand why she wasn't into it. It was awkward for us.

bowlwoman

Ok. DH promised me fun sexy times tonight, then he drinks a bunch of rum and cokes before hand and proceeds to talk through the entire thing. Shut the F up and get to business!

CandEChicago

smack427 said:

I guess what I'm asking is how my mother in law showed no interest in the market or spending time with us and looking through the clothes and other items. Maybe she just isn't into used clothes? It's not about her buying us things but she was looking for stuff for other peoples babies and even for her dogs. I don't get it. And she wants to take us to Dallas to buy the crib/nursery furniture/etc. So it has nothing to do with money... Maybe she just likes flashy things? I want to understand why she wasn't into it. It was awkward for us.

Maybe she was overwhelmed? Maybe (as you mentioned) she is not into used/consignment things? Maybe she has a different shopping style from you? Maybe she is not the type to go gaga over clothes and get you something more long term/permanent?

Maybe she she was already planning to buy you crib/nursery furniture and yet you still think she is not interested in your LO?

smack427

It could be. I just wish that she would communicate with me. It's hard for me to read her and I want to include her to do things like his but it makes me feel like she's not into it. I want to be close to her but I'm not sure what else to do. I think she is definitely not into clothes. She told my mom at a garage sale that we did together that "clothes don't matter until they are in jr high." I never said that my MIL wasn't interested, I just know that my mom is closer to me and she seems a lot more involved in the process.

smack427

bowlwoman said:

Ok. DH promised me fun sexy times tonight, then he drinks a bunch of rum and cokes before hand and proceeds to talk through the entire thing. Shut the F up and get to business!

I believe the last sexy time I had was 2 weeks ago. I am totally feeling it but we can't ever seem to make the timing work. Plus MH never wants to come to bed at the same time as me.

smack427

@bowlwoman‌ p.s. Why are you on TB while you are trying to get it on? Get off of here and get it done girl!

CandEChicago

smack427 said:

It could be. I just wish that she would communicate with me. It's hard for me to read her and I want to include her to do things like his but it makes me feel like she's not into it. I want to be close to her but I'm not sure what else to do. I think she is definitely not into clothes. She told my mom at a garage sale that we did together that "clothes don't matter until they are in jr high." I never said that my MIL wasn't interested, I just know that my mom is closer to me and she seems a lot more involved in the process.

Maybe you should sit down and ask. My MIL is excited but is trying to be respectful of my privacy, space, and the decisions DH and I are making for the baby. It's not an easy balance for mother's and MIL.

As you said your MIL was not that into clothes and/or the garage sale but she still attended this munchkin market which seems like a massive garage sale.

So I am not sure why you were expecting a 180 change on her interest in clothes/garage sales but instead I would focus that while this is not an area of interest for her she still went to the event since it was one you were excited about...so that is a good thing.

Everyone has different interests and how they express themselves. If you want to be close to her maybe do something that is a little more in her comfort zone... sounds like thst trip to Dallas might be one of many opportunities you will have over the years.

smack427

@CandEChicago‌ that is wonderful that she is giving you space! Our in-laws are giving us space too which is very good. She is from a totally different background so that might have something to do with why she doesn't understand it.

I think you misunderstood about the garage sale... We were throwing it together and she hosted it at her house. So she isn't against selling used stuff obviously. I think you were right about her wanting to get us long term stuff.

I really didn't want to go on the trip next weekend because I would love to just go online or to a local place and get it but I am willing to go for MH (he's all excited about going). And to spend time with my in-laws. It is super generous for them to offer to take us and get our furniture and shop! They have also offered to get bedding and our travel stroller/car seat. I think it's way too much!!

CandEChicago

smack427 said:

@CandEChicago‌ that is wonderful that she is giving you space! Our in-laws are giving us space too which is very good. She is from a totally different background so that might have something to do with why she doesn't understand it.

I think you misunderstood about the garage sale... We were throwing it together and she hosted it at her house. So she isn't against selling used stuff obviously. I think you were right about her wanting to get us long term stuff.

I really didn't want to go on the trip next weekend because I would love to just go online or to a local place and get it but I am willing to go for MH (he's all excited about going). And to spend time with my in-laws. It is super generous for them to offer to take us and get our furniture and shop! They have also offered to get bedding and our travel stroller/car seat. I think it's way too much!!

Take Dallas as a time to build a memory with them. Besides wouldn't it be great to tell LO one day that their grandparents helped pick out their crib/furniture and you guys did a special trip to Dallas just for the LO?

Having a different background is not a bad thing and it allows for growth, learning about each other, and developing amazing memories. Practically speaking they could have asked for your registry and bought the items (or simply wrote you a check) but instead wanted to spend the additional time with you by doing a shopping trip (albeit to different stores and types if stores).

smack427

CandEChicago said:

smack427 said:

@CandEChicago‌ that is wonderful that she is giving you space! Our in-laws are giving us space too which is very good. She is from a totally different background so that might have something to do with why she doesn't understand it.

I think you misunderstood about the garage sale... We were throwing it together and she hosted it at her house. So she isn't against selling used stuff obviously. I think you were right about her wanting to get us long term stuff.

I really didn't want to go on the trip next weekend because I would love to just go online or to a local place and get it but I am willing to go for MH (he's all excited about going). And to spend time with my in-laws. It is super generous for them to offer to take us and get our furniture and shop! They have also offered to get bedding and our travel stroller/car seat. I think it's way too much!!

Take Dallas as a time to build a memory with them. Besides wouldn't it be great to tell LO one day that their grandparents helped pick out their crib/furniture and you guys did a special trip to Dallas just for the LO?

Having a different background is not a bad thing and it allows for growth, learning about each other, and developing amazing memories. Practically speaking they could have asked for your registry and bought the items (or simply wrote you a check) but instead wanted to spend the additional time with you by doing a shopping trip (albeit to different stores and types if stores).

I agree that the different background is a good thing. I married MH knowing that this would come up one day. I accept him and I am willing to learn more about his culture as things come up. We have been dating since 2006 so I know a lot but there's always room to know more!

smack427

CandEChicago said:

smack427 said:

@CandEChicago‌ that is wonderful that she is giving you space! Our in-laws are giving us space too which is very good. She is from a totally different background so that might have something to do with why she doesn't understand it.

I think you misunderstood about the garage sale... We were throwing it together and she hosted it at her house. So she isn't against selling used stuff obviously. I think you were right about her wanting to get us long term stuff.

I really didn't want to go on the trip next weekend because I would love to just go online or to a local place and get it but I am willing to go for MH (he's all excited about going). And to spend time with my in-laws. It is super generous for them to offer to take us and get our furniture and shop! They have also offered to get bedding and our travel stroller/car seat. I think it's way too much!!

Take Dallas as a time to build a memory with them. Besides wouldn't it be great to tell LO one day that their grandparents helped pick out their crib/furniture and you guys did a special trip to Dallas just for the LO?

Having a different background is not a bad thing and it allows for growth, learning about each other, and developing amazing memories. Practically speaking they could have asked for your registry and bought the items (or simply wrote you a check) but instead wanted to spend the additional time with you by doing a shopping trip (albeit to different stores and types if stores).

I agree that the different background is a good thing. I married MH knowing that this would come up one day. I accept him and I am willing to learn more about his culture as things come up. We have been dating since 2006 so I know a lot but there's always room to know more!

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

LaxMOM44

My sister just got married and gave a heartfelt emotional thank you to EVERYONE! Even my mom who was negligent and emotionally abusive while we were growing up. When it came to my turn she told an incredibly embarrassing story about me from our childhood. Like involving pooping in an inappropriate place. So not only did I not get a thank you or any kind of appreciation (p.s. I planned her entire wedding in 3 months and found her a new dress a week before the wedding). I also got to spend the entire night talking to everyone about my bowel movements when I was 4! Oh and guess what I wake up to? A Facebook feed full of comments on how hilarious her speech was and how embarrassing it must be to be me.

Like what the actual fuck?

Ahhhh that feels better.

bowlwoman

smack427 said:

@bowlwoman‌ p.s. Why are you on TB while you are trying to get it on? Get off of here and get it done girl!

We were done with round one, contemplating round two, and I was pee bumping on the toilet. Afterwards, I went back in the bedroom and we both proceeded to pass out.

MaineMama

@Slaps, I'm just getting caught up on here, but I'm so sorry about your stupid ex!

path75

gradschoolmom1234 said:

Okay I'm bringing this thread back, because I want to bitch.

My husband's cousin invited us over to watch football and grill tonight. We took this to mean we'd be having a relaxing evening watching TV and eating food... Not so much. When we arrived he had his sister and mom upstairs cleaning his kids room (I'm not even kidding), and asked me if I wanted to help. Seriously? You think I want to clean up your kid's room? Well, since all the women were in there I went ahead and joined the party and helped a bit. I have NEVER seen a child's room this dirt, cluttered, and with so much crap in it. After about an hour and a half/two hours, we had filled 2 giant trash bags, and made a small pile of give-away items. When the cousin came in to see what we had done, he looked at the give away and said that he didn't want any of it going! Apparently his daughter would be upset if she saw things going to good-will. She's freaking 7 years old, she should be able to give away BOARD BOOKS without throwing a fit. And, on top of that, why is the parent bowing to the child's will on this? Who cares if she throws a fit? She's not the grown up, she doesn't get to decide everything! And sure enough, his daughter found the give away pile and had a total and complete melt down. The father responds by assuring her that she doesn't have to give anything away and she can keep it all, and "don't cry baby." Ugh. His sister was obviously pissed, but it wasn't worth making a big deal about. 

Anyway, when I came back down from helping clean his child's room, he asked me if I would finish cooking the bacon for him for the burgers! Shouldn't he have had SOME of the food prepared before he invited everyone over? He had my husband and I working literally the entire night. The only time we got to relax was literally while we were eating, during which time his daughter was yelling and demanding attention non-stop.

I'm so annoyed by the whole evening. Plus my husband is grumpy because his team isn't winning the stupid game, which is just serving to piss me off more. Ugh. what a night. 

My husband's cousin is notorious and her mom as well when she was alive for putting people whom they invited over to work. Unfortunately this was every time we visited and it was the women helping to cook. My husband would get pissed and say don't help but since all the women were doing it I felt obligated. We don't visit hardly any more because it is just plain rude. I am sorry but if I am hosting the guests are resting. It takes nerve to ask a pregnant woman to work. 

bowlwoman

LaxMOM44 said:

My sister just got married and gave a heartfelt emotional thank you to EVERYONE! Even my mom who was negligent and emotionally abusive while we were growing up. When it came to my turn she told an incredibly embarrassing story about me from our childhood. Like involving pooping in an inappropriate place. So not only did I not get a thank you or any kind of appreciation (p.s. I planned her entire wedding in 3 months and found her a new dress a week before the wedding). I also got to spend the entire night talking to everyone about my bowel movements when I was 4! Oh and guess what I wake up to? A Facebook feed full of comments on how hilarious her speech was and how embarrassing it must be to be me.

Like what the actual fuck?

Ahhhh that feels better.

Sister love is a very special thing. I think the 8th circle of Hell is reserved for it.

I'm sorry you got to be the butt of the joke all night. If it's any consolation, I appreciate the work you did on your sister's wedding. I did something similar for my sister's wedding 10 years ago and it's just a pisser, even thinking about it now.

CandEChicago

@ashtonkitty1 - That is just not fair.  

leoandethansmom

@ashtonkitty1 there are several OCD people in the world who would probably have legit breakdowns about that, myself included!

CandEChicago

Seems like my normal stores don't have maternity jackets or fleece coats in yet.  The sales associate suggested that buying one size up **might** work.  Nope that didn't work..it's not a vanity thing it's a size and fit thing.  

arynras

gradschoolmom1234 said:

Okay I'm bringing this thread back, because I want to bitch.

My husband's cousin invited us over to watch football and grill tonight. We took this to mean we'd be having a relaxing evening watching TV and eating food... Not so much. When we arrived he had his sister and mom upstairs cleaning his kids room (I'm not even kidding), and asked me if I wanted to help. Seriously? You think I want to clean up your kid's room? Well, since all the women were in there I went ahead and joined the party and helped a bit. I have NEVER seen a child's room this dirt, cluttered, and with so much crap in it. After about an hour and a half/two hours, we had filled 2 giant trash bags, and made a small pile of give-away items. When the cousin came in to see what we had done, he looked at the give away and said that he didn't want any of it going! Apparently his daughter would be upset if she saw things going to good-will. She's freaking 7 years old, she should be able to give away BOARD BOOKS without throwing a fit. And, on top of that, why is the parent bowing to the child's will on this? Who cares if she throws a fit? She's not the grown up, she doesn't get to decide everything! And sure enough, his daughter found the give away pile and had a total and complete melt down. The father responds by assuring her that she doesn't have to give anything away and she can keep it all, and "don't cry baby." Ugh. His sister was obviously pissed, but it wasn't worth making a big deal about. 

Anyway, when I came back down from helping clean his child's room, he asked me if I would finish cooking the bacon for him for the burgers! Shouldn't he have had SOME of the food prepared before he invited everyone over? He had my husband and I working literally the entire night. The only time we got to relax was literally while we were eating, during which time his daughter was yelling and demanding attention non-stop.

I'm so annoyed by the whole evening. Plus my husband is grumpy because his team isn't winning the stupid game, which is just serving to piss me off more. Ugh. what a night. 

Ohhhh hell no.

smack427

@Slaps‌ no it definitely came out wrong. It is a long story and I wrote out some of it after my original post. I would never assume someone was going to buy something just because I brought them to a market. I just wanted to understand why she showed zero interest the whole time. I have a hard time communicating with her like I do my mom and I was wondering if anyone else had this problem. I know mother in laws have a bad rep for being pushy and everything. My MIL has actually given us a lot of space! By the way, she is getting the longer term stuff for us which is awesome! I just don't know why she wasn't involved in shopping with my mom and I, like she wandered off and turned her nose up at some of the stuff we showed her. I was trying to connect with her and we actually went back to the market after going to the pre-sale the night before so she would get a chance to look around. I guess you would have had to be there and know her to understand the whole story. In a nutshell, I want to know if I should invite her to things like this in the future because I don't want it to be awkward again.

arynras

feeshah said:

DH wants to "Do it" again

(

At least he wants to! I have become a completely non sexual being to him. He's like "it's only a few more months." Ummm yeah and then 6 weeks after that and then finding time with a baby who needs your attention 24/7 after that. I want him all the time and he is totally just not into pregnant sex. And it doesn't help that I get totally turned on when he starts wearing his winter clothes (no idea why, I just find him so sexy in them) and he will be starting to wear those in a couple months and I won't be able to do anything about my raging hormones! UGHHH. Thank goodness for vibrators at least.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

momtoE25

Last night DH, DS and I attended a party for our friends sons first bday. It was a cute little party where most of the guests were family and a few of us were friends or coworkers. She invited some friends of ours who are extremely nice and are fun to hang around with but their children are another story. They have a 5 yo and 3 yo. The 2 kids spent the entire evening fighting over the 1yo's gifts and body slamming and punching each other in the face. Their parents ignored most of the issues and never really said anything to the kids. I saw the dad get after the 3yo once and the son told the dad to shut up and he walked off. It took everything everyone had not to say something to the parents. It got to be absolutely ridiculous. The little boy almost ran over my 9 mo niece with one of those walkers because he was running back and forth while pushing it and thought it was funny to crash into people. His mom was sitting next to me the entire time and just laughed as he did it. The 5yo little girl would throw the biggest fits every time she didn't get her way. By fits, I mean she would stomp her feet and scream at her parents infront of everyone at the party. When they finally left, everyone had a sigh of relief because the level of chaos dropped about 50 notches. It was absolute insanity. No one wanted to say anything to the kids because it's not our place and no one would say anything to the parents because they are friends but geez. Sorry it's so long but I've never been or seen a group of people so frustrated with the behavior of children.

abcmom12

Let me preface: I hate football.  I find it boring and slow.  If I have to suffer another weekend with football on the tv from the first game to the last, Sat through Sun, I will be a single mom by Monday, nuff said.

end rant.

I don't mind if he watches a broncos or giants game, because those are his teams, but why do we have to suffer all the rest, even the ones he hates?!

arynras

abcmom12 said:

Let me preface: I hate football.  I find it boring and slow.  If I have to suffer another weekend with football on the tv from the first game to the last, Sat through Sun, I will be a single mom by Monday, nuff said.

end rant.

I don't mind if he watches a broncos or giants game, because those are his teams, but why do we have to suffer all the rest, even the ones he hates?!

Amen sister.

bowlwoman

Anna930 said:

@abcmom12 - luckily my hubby started giving up college football a few years back and is now completely off of it.  Sundays on the other hand are football from 1-8:30 (unless the cowboys play the night game (his team) then we watch that one too).  It makes for a long day but I've come to enjoy it.  I get a ton of stuff done on Saturday/Sunday morning then just relax for the afternoon on Sunday - eat yummy snacks and usually do a craft or something to keep myself entertained.

On top of that we have Red Zone - so the TV changes between all of the games - makes watching very confusing but at least it's constant action instead of watching a slow game or a blow-out!

Red Zone drives me crazy. But, DH is in two fantasy football leagues, so he has to keep up with all his players.

Sucks for him this week. Two of his players got injured, and he has both Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson on his teams. His FF teams are doomed!

bowlwoman

Anna930 said:

@bowlwoman - my husband also has AP in one of his leagues so he was not impressed to say the least.  His other players played but didn't have a very good day - seemed like every bad thing that would happen he'd say "And that's the nail in the coffin on this week!" and then say it again 10 minutes later.  Grumpy fantasy player yesterday.. he's in I think 5 leagues but claims he only cares about 2.  Who knows!

@Anna930 DH has RGIII, who is injured until at least November, and quite possibly the whole season. To add insult to injury, I totally ragged on him for rooting against SF last week (he's from the Bay Area, so it's been his team for the past 43 years), so he benched his guys playing SF this week so he could still root for the 49ers. Apparently the guys he benched would have gotten him 50+ points, and the guys he played instead got him 8.

I am no longer allowed to complain about his FF picks anymore. The week he tries to appease me, he gets creamed.

bowlwoman

Anna930 said:

@bowlwoman - my husband likes to list off a few players and ask which one he should play... I've learned not to play that game!  I always choose the one that gets hurt or in a game-time decision doesn't end up playing.

They zoomed in on/slowed down RGIII's ankle dislocation or whatever it ended up being - and ankles are NOT supposed to bend like that! BLECH!

@Anna930 No, they're not. I luckily wasn't watching the screen at the time, but DH let out a big OW and proceeded to describe his ankle in graphic detail. 

DH is all about RGIII, since DH was doing his MBA at Baylor when RGIII won the Heisman.

Cheekers2010

Major TL:dr and feeling pathetic and sorry for myself vent.  Sorry.

I'm so furious at my DH and it's really not fair.  He has been working non-stop on a project for about 4 months now.  We're talking at least 14 hour days including weekends.  If we're really lucky we get a block of a few hours on the weekend to spend together.  It's completely ruined the last few months.  No fun family outings.  No DH at any baby related appts.  He wasn't there for the fetal echocardiogram or the growth u/s or really anything except the anatomy scan.  Not to mention that the to do before baby gets here list gets longer every day.  I'm insanely jealous of those of you that have someone taking care of them or showing them a little more consideration because they're pregnant.  I have no one.  I'm taking care of everything (poorly) by myself including my 3 year old who has had a stomach virus (which he gave to me) and a horrible viral fever and cold for the last two weeks.  I'm getting by on about 3-4 hours of interrupted sleep per night because my poor little guy has been sick and I'm so exhausted.  I feel so angry and frustrated and don't know what to do with myself.  I know my DH is beyond exhausted, too.  And, that he doesn't really have any choice.  But, I pretty much hate this.

sueellencabral

I feel so bad for bitching at my SO! We're always joking around, but today my hormones weren't up for it.

We were at my oldest son's soccer practice and as I'm walking to the car he starts singing "waddle baby" the kids found it hilarious and after a while so did I. But at that moment I was infuriated and didn't talk to him all day. I started crying like a baby when he hugged me said sorry and kissed me goodnight, mostly because I knew he didn't do anything wrong.

I guess I'm not used to being so moody! But I feel like a horrible person today.

feeshah

I'm just gunna leave this here.

I'm in a quiet rage right now. DH went to give me a kiss and stuck his tongue in my mouth. Not in any type up sexy way. (Actually, sexy doesn't exist in my world anymore)

I feel like I'm going to puke. I fucken hate that. He knows I fucking hate that.

I Am LIVID

stejjy

My friend is expecting a baby girl in March, and is throwing her baby shower early December. I mentioned to her that due to my blood condition I'll be getting induced, so I may or may not be able to attend but I'm excited for her shower and will help in any way I can.

Fast forward 2 days later, and I get a message from a mutual friend asking why I wasn't invited to our friends shower, as he didn't see me on the list. (Facebook invites).

I'm confused and really hoping that she simply forgot ( I love baby showers!

mgk207

jessblair101 said:

So up until last week I have been seeing my family dr and just recently start seeing an Obgyn. Well up until this point I was under the impression that my pregnancy was progressing well, I wasn't gaining to much weight about 4ilbs a month all my tests were coming back good including my GTT! I was happy with this well after seeing my Obgyn I'm being told that my BMi went up 8 % and I'm already over weight to start! But ingot lectured about this and told I can't eat bread.pasta, rice,potatoes basically anything starchy no sweets just fruits vegetables and meat!! Well then I got lectured about my weight and about how I'm at risk for gd and that I'm the perfect candidate for needing a c section because of my weight or that baby could be to big and have problems bein delivered resulting in the drs breaking a shoulder to get it out well then after telling me all this proceeds to say oh I better heck your blood pressure! Of corse it was elevated I mean really after all that whos wouldn't be? So she sends me in my way telling that she wants me to lose weight and to keep my BMi at the same or lower for the baby's sake confused at how to do this she tells me again about the things I can't eat and baby will gain and I won't! Whatever then I get a call that she wants me to re do my GTT because I didn't pass with a good enough number for her !!! So now I have to do the damn 2 hour ( yes I know it's about my baby now not me) but fuck all I want is some ice cream or pasta or pop corn hell of settle for a baked potato at the moment I feel for the next 8 weeks of my life I'm in hell

I am enraged on your behalf! I, too, was overweight prior to becoming pregnant, but not once has any doctor in my practice treated me poorly as a result of it. I would encourage you to speak candidly with your doc, if you're up for it, or to start looking for a new one. Good luck!

agsgrrl

I knew this thread would make a comeback in the third tri!

kirstey728

At work today and all I can think about is how absolutely irritated I am to deal with the public, my coworkers, and even being away from the hubby!

The I feel guilty because none of these people have donee any wrong so I get mopey.

I do have to say my coworkers are pretty understanding. thank god for that.

efgallarday

I want chocolate, damnit!

mgk207

Good luck!!!