Would a shower be tacky?

MommyOfAMiracle

Have a poptart.

No...really...HAVE ONE....

foxslaw

I've had the same thoughts, @jaztastic‌! Thanks for putting that on the table & make *some* use over this never ending thread.

jaztastic

CrazyCornball said:

jaztastic said:

Sarcasm/snark free... Out of curiosity. Does a welcome to motherhood shower, only matter in regards of biological children? 

Ive seen comments (on other similar threads) where woman who may have missed a shower for whatever reason on baby #1, was still flamed for having a shower for baby #2. Because she is already a mother, so she cant be welcomed to motherhood again. 

So what are the rules about that. 

Stepmother raising spouses children, now having her own child gets a shower?

Mother of adopted children, having her first biological child can have a shower?

Legal Guardian of child since they were a newborn now having biological child gets a shower? 

Mom who never had a shower for #1, now having #2 can not have a shower? 

And showers are completely sexist? The man doesnt matter...

He gets a shower for each child with a different woman because its HER first. 

But if its his first, and she already has children then no shower is allowed.

Thoughts/Opinions??

This is too much deep thinking for me. Shall I call the BSB back here to give their opinions? I have no idea. For my wedding, I had to print out an etiquette guide and refer to it before I made any decisions. 

Im sorry... I just have so many questions. Who makes the rules? The modern family is so different now. Dont even get me started on my same sex relationship shower rules, is the shower for the mom who is giving birth? IDK man Im so confused. And are same sex relationship men having a baby allowed to have a shower?  

chickyclg

AlyssaPaige2 said:

A baby shower is NOT to welcome a mom to motherhood. A mom is welcomed to motherhood when she finds out she's pregnant a baby shower is everyone around you and yourself welcoming that baby to the world and a father is welcomed to fatherhood when he sees his baby. The baby shower is NOT about the mom at all it's about the baby!

@AlyssaPaige2 I don't understand what you mean by a father isn't a father until he sees his baby.  This statement is just so fucking ignorant.  My husband is so fucking excited for our babies, that not only does he baby shop online just as much as I do, but he reads to the babies every night, and he reads 2 stories because he feels each baby deserves their own special time.  He is just as much a Dad as I am a Mom at this point, and its comments like yours that belittle first time dads to be.  Don't spread your ignorance to make yourself feel better if your SO is not as involved.

HerHighness

Hey look a cute kitten

MommyOfAMiracle

chickyclg said:

**SNIP** 

but he reads to the babies every night, and he reads 2 stories because he feels each baby deserves their own special time.  He is just as much a Dad as I am a Mom at this point, and its comments like yours that belittle first time dads to be.  Don't spread your ignorance to make yourself feel better if your SO is not as involved.

Uhm. That's just effing adorable.
:x

chickyclg

HerHighness said:

Hey look a cute kitten

And this just brought my anger down a bit,  I love cute kittens!!!!

foxslaw

jaztastic said:

CrazyCornball said:

jaztastic said:

Sarcasm/snark free... Out of curiosity. Does a welcome to motherhood shower, only matter in regards of biological children? 

Ive seen comments (on other similar threads) where woman who may have missed a shower for whatever reason on baby #1, was still flamed for having a shower for baby #2. Because she is already a mother, so she cant be welcomed to motherhood again. 

So what are the rules about that. 

Stepmother raising spouses children, now having her own child gets a shower?

Mother of adopted children, having her first biological child can have a shower?

Legal Guardian of child since they were a newborn now having biological child gets a shower? 

Mom who never had a shower for #1, now having #2 can not have a shower? 

And showers are completely sexist? The man doesnt matter...

He gets a shower for each child with a different woman because its HER first. 

But if its his first, and she already has children then no shower is allowed.

Thoughts/Opinions??

This is too much deep thinking for me. Shall I call the BSB back here to give their opinions? I have no idea. For my wedding, I had to print out an etiquette guide and refer to it before I made any decisions. 

Im sorry... I just have so many questions. Who makes the rules? The modern family is so different now. Dont even get me started on my same sex relationship shower rules, is the shower for the mom who is giving
birth? IDK man Im so confused. And are same sex relationship men having a baby allowed to have a shower?  

*******

That's why I was getting upset earlier for people's compete lack of cultural/social sensitivity. What is "polite" is a vague set of arbitrary rules
anyway dictated by some white invisible aristocrats forever ago. There have to be adjustments and considerations made for people & their different walks of life. It is why we give people the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone has the same values, and I think the same sex thing shower thing that @jaztastic‌ brought up was a incredibly valid point.

Sahara6971

@AlyssaPaige2 I don't understand what you mean by a father isn't a father until he sees his baby.  This statement is just so fucking ignorant.  My husband is so fucking excited for our babies, that not only does he baby shop online just as much as I do, but he reads to the babies every night, and he reads 2 stories because he feels each baby deserves their own special time.  He is just as much a Dad as I am a Mom at this point, and its comments like yours that belittle first time dads to be.  Don't spread your ignorance to make yourself feel better if your SO is not as involved.

Ummmm, seriously??? Could you send him over my way to maybe influence my husband just a little bit? That is pretty cute.

CogDis

I think a lot of what is going on here is sexist and heterosexist. But, it sure is fun to watch these people burn each other! Lol

crunchymamaof2

Very good points. Should be a welcome to parenthood party vs. motherhood. IMO how you become a parent doesn't make a difference. A couple who is adopting their first child isn't any less 'deserving' (for lack of a better word) than a couple having a biological baby. The second shower rule would also apply to them.

To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about someone having a shower for their second, etc child if they didn't have one for their first. I guess circumstances would come Into consideration for my opinion to be formed,

HerHighness

MaddScientist

round and round and round we go....

thegoodpotato

MaddScientist said:

round and round and round we go....

You're my favourite so far, @MaddScientist.  Cute AND relevant! 

HerHighness

As my 4 year old just said..... Awwwww sleepy kitty! Soooo cute!

MaddScientist

well I thought the call went out for animal gifs and why not be relevant

jaztastic

My goal is to get this thread to 10 pages... I would feel accomplished. 

@ChickeOnSunday its an interesting conversation now. I seriously need answers, Im no longer debating the view point. My feelings will not change and Im sure Im not persuading anyone to my side. I just need to know what the etiquette book says. 

MommyOfAMiracle

Sahara6971

MaddScientist said:

well I thought the call went out for animal gifs and why not be relevant

FUCK THE SHOWER, I want the puppy!

chickyclg

All of this etiquette talk 

 

hollyisaunicorn

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

MommyOfAMiracle

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

jaztastic

ollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

CatLadyTX

MommyOfAMiracle

 

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

thegoodpotato

This is the thread that never ends
Yes, it goes on and on, my friends. 
Poor OP started writing it, not knowing the response,
and now we just keep reading it, forever, just because........

chickyclg

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

srcr2011

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Whatever, mom :-@

CatLadyTX

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

jennjilljo

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

I keep seeing these types of responses. Serious question here: are these people only getting their opinions from highly debated threads? Do they skip over the fun threads about clothes, shopping, randoms, appointments and the like? I mean if you're judging a whole forum by 1 thread that has less than probably 50 out of thousands of forum members responding then you should be ashamed of yourself.

HerHighness

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

chickyclg

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

HerHighness

I'm ashamed that she has 5 posts and thinks she can handslap regulars.

Sorrynotsorry

bhjones1980

but but but.... she's a UNICORN!

chickyclg

bhjones1980 said:

but but but.... she's a UNICORN!

I caught that too, BC might be more her style.

Izzy0927

hollyisaunicorn said:

I can't believe how many rude "adults" are in this group. Unreal. I came here for the support as I am a first time mom to be....I didn't realize it would be full of snarky, rude and miserable people. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

dacora

bhjones1980 said:

but but but.... she's a UNICORN!

erobbins09

I wasn't sure how I'd spend the last bit of work today... This has been fun..

MommyOfAMiracle

From now on, I'm only going to answer those types of posts with gifs. No words. Just gifs.

I'm excited for the next one...

jennjilljo

ChickenOnSunday said:

Maybe she was just trying to derail the post and we all fell for it? Are we the newbs?!?!?

Taking a shun break does not constitute as derailed. We can pick up the typical when we're done. Jaz did bring up great points on etiquette rules applying to modern society that would make for great discussion.

SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!