It's time for the circumcision thread!

marajay6

@heisenberg - this is for you...

I am having a boy.  At my last OB apt, the doctor said that my husband and I need to decide on circumcision.  We have discussed a lot and I think we are going to skip it.  I found a really good article that explained the benefits and risks from a medical standpoint they pretty much cancel out.  So I don't think that there is a wrong decision.  Let me see if I can dig up that article...

marajay6

https://m.parenting.com/entry/view/id/7165

This article is a couple years old, but I thought it have some pretty decent unbiased information on the topic.

Dana633

We are having a boy and we are having him circumcised.  My DS is and so is my husband, so we decided it would be best to do it.  My DS healed very well and had no issues, so FX that this one will go just as smooth!

abbyful

We did not have DS circumcised, there's no good reason for it. Why would I want to chop off part of his penis "just because"?! They also say sex is better when the penis is left intact, circumcision removes a lot of nerves.

Article from the children's hospital in my city says "The risks and benefits are both too small to swing the vote either way. This is a parental decision, not a medical decision." - https://www.childrensmercy.org/PediatricAdvisor/Article.aspx?id=466

Watching a video of the procedure sealed the deal for DH & me. (Not a propaganda video either, it was a medical training video from the hospital I worked at, the same hospital linked above.)

jess123456

We are planning to have our son circumcised. We haven't even thought about not doing it but perhaps we should do more research.

Kehlepop

We're having a boy. Last night my mom called just to ask if we are circumsizing. I told her I didn't want to discuss it because I know she's against it. We are planning on it because I have taken care of boys with both and I personally thought that it was easier to keep clean and teach to clean circumsized boys. Also, DH wants it because, like father like son.

My reason: completely personal and subjective.

absolutelymaybe

I think we're all too nice and respectful and not BSC for this to turn into a shit show like it has on other boards. 

We won't circ our boy. On the medical side of things, we've done research and can't find a good enough reason to do it. On the social aspect, DH and I discussed his experiences growing up uncut and the possibly stigma that (I think is ridiculous) he may have felt. 

I've noticed this has been a UO on other boards, but I left the final decision up to DH because he is the one with the penis and I feel like, as long has we both do research and have an educated discussion, he has better insight on potential implications of the decision we make.  But we were leaning toward the same decision to begin with, so I can understand how it would be more difficult for a couple with more polarizing opinions on the matter. 

Edit: typo

marajay6

I visited with my family last weekend and we briefly discussed it.  With my nephew, my brother and his wife didn't put much thought into it. my brother is circumcised so they did it for their son. When I mentioned that we were leaning against it, my family gave us a weird look but didn't say anything...

mussalynn

abbyful said:

We did not have DS circumcised, there's no good reason for it. Why would I want to chop off part of his penis "just because"?! They also say sex is better when the penis is left intact, circumcision removes a lot of nerves. Article from the children's hospital in my city says "The risks and benefits are both too small to swing the vote either way. This is a parental decision, not a medical decision." - https://www.childrensmercy.org/PediatricAdvisor/Article.aspx?id=466 Watching a video of the procedure sealed the deal for DH & me. (Not a propaganda video either, it was a medical training video from the hospital I worked at, the same hospital linked above.)

Exactly this for me too.  I can't think of a single good reason why I would cut off a part of my son's penis.  We didn't for DS, and we won't for this one either.  

Also, I don't get the whole "the dad is circumcised so the baby should be too"..... why?  So they can sit around and compare penises? 

Melissa2216

DH is, DS is, this LO will be also. Just as many of you are NOT circumcised because "there is not enough of a reason to," I feel like there is not enough of a reason to NOT do it. For me, I think it looks better circumcised and it's easier to keep clean. Plus, if DH and DS are circumcised, it would be weird to not circumcise this one as well.

mexinugget

My husband is not circumcised, our ds is not, and if this lo is another boy we will choose to not circumcise him as well. My husband never had any problems healthwise or social. We didn't find it medically necessary. I don't care what other people choose to do. It's your kid and you make the best decision for your child.

MrsDL

American Academy of Pediatrics:

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/Newborn-Male-Circumcision.aspx

Basically what pp posted, the benefits outweigh the risks but not enough to recommend universal circumcision.

For us, DH is circumcised and wanted DS circumcised.  He still wants DS2 circumcised. Within the last 3 weeks we've been dealing with this issue - DS is 3 and will need a revision.  So I can provide some perspective on this - baby boys have fat pads so it is not uncommon for the provider to not take "enough" off.  DS pretty much looks uncircumcised.  I've always had an issue with thinking he didn't look circumcised, his pedi said he'd outgrow it as the fat pad thins - many do - but my little guy was not so lucky.  Because of this he has some penile adhesions (also very common).  Most kids outgrow them, but basically with DS, because they didn't take enough off, this will be unlikely.  We had to see a pediatric urologist - he suggested this not be done now (newly potty trained), but in a year or two.  So yep, my poor little toddler will need to be placed under anesthesia to have this revised and I do wonder if it was worth it for aesthetic reasons - actually makes me sick we have to put him through this.

I know this probably had nothing to do with it - but the OB practice I did belong to with DS had the NP do this (we didn't find this out until afterwards - they would not let us watch or be there).  I really would recommend parents insist on an MD/DO doing it (like your actual OB) and insist on being there.  I regret not doing this.  Also, research the aftercare, they didn't tell us too much about caring for it - Vaseline until the gauze came-off.  The adhesions issue would have been prevented if we did Vaseline or OTC cortisone a few times a week after bath time. 

I'm really not sold on doing it again with DS2, we'll have to talk more.  DS1 will be circumcised so it makes sense according to DH, but I do sort of wished we skipped it in the first place given the situation. Circumcision doesn't pose risks right out of the gate, but there are risks with anesthesia - so I guess this is a risk people don't discuss - from my research the need for a revision due to the issue above and/or adhesions is quite common and the 2nd time around, they do have to put your child under.

ProcessofBecoming

One of my very good friends is dating a man who was not circumcised and now, at 38 years of age, is having the procedure done as his foreskin is not retracting from the head of his penis as it should (bear with me on the specifics, I was cringing as she told me), and sexual intimacy is incredibly uncomfortable for him. This complication is most likely the exception rather than the rule, as these things go, but this poor guy is dreading the surgery like none other and I don't blame him. They are both preparing themselves for a very delicate recovery period.

That being said, my DS1 is circumcised, with no complications, and this baby will be as well. My husband was pretty vocal about this issue, and I deferred to his wishes as I figure he knows way more about what it's like to have a penis than I do. I do have a few friends who have chosen not to circumcise, and their reasons for it, and I respect their decision as I hope they respect mine.

SweetMelissa5

Just FYI for anyone who is planning to have it done, I recommend checking with your insurance provider to see if it's covered because we had it done with DS and were surprised by a ~$600 bill for the procedure. If I'd known ahead of time, I probably would have set some extra money aside in our flex spending account to pay for it.

terberell

If we have a boy we will not circumcise him. DH is circumcised but we feel that because it isn't a necessary medical procedure, it is just not something we are prepared to do if we have a son. My husband could not care less if his penis looks the same as his son's or not. 

Edit: words 

Dimples0101

I was honestly really hoping we'd have another girl so that we wouldn't have to make this decision.  When we found out we were having a boy, we decided we would circumcise, but reading these posts is making me think about the surgery more and I keep getting queasy.  I think we'll need to discuss it more and might still decide to circumcise, I just don't feel sold on the decision just yet. 

kimberly_ann81

Both my boys are circumcised. Neither one had any complications and they never cried/fussed when peeing like some people say they will right after having it done.  I also agree with @melissa2216 I don't see enough convincing evidence not to do it.  Having a girl this time so I don't have to worry about it.

abbyful

Another tid-bit: 1 in every 500 infants circumcised has serious side-effects.

sweetbabyrahe

We opted to circumcise DS and likely will if this baby is a boy as well. We researched it, weighed the options, and made the decision that I agree..is more personal than anything. DH is circumcized as well. I do work with mostly male veterans and have know issues to occur with some of our uncircumcized patients later in life with cleanliness and complications leading for a need for the surgery later in life. It is much tougher to recover of course as the guy ages.

Curlyfries851

< They also say sex is better when the penis is left intact, circumcision removes a lot of nerves.


My midwife even explained a correlation between circumcision and lube. She says Americans are #1 in both circumcisions and sale of personal lubricant. Apparently that extra bit of skin does a good job at making the girl wetter too, then keep that moisture around...it's a bit weird to consider my LO's future sex life with this decision, but hey, why not! Lol

JamieK1882

I had no idea there were so many uncircumcised men running around out there :-/
(<--naive)

ccam

DS is circumcised and we will do the same with this LO if it is a boy.

Dana633

@SweetMelissa5 - $600 is a lot to come up with when you aren't aware  My DS was $200 and this time it's $230.  I already paid it though.  At the hospital I go to, the OB does the circumcisions, so the office sets up payment plans to pay during the 9 months and that charge is included.  They refund the money if the baby is a girl.  So it's not a big chunk at one time.

momtojad

We circ. Hubs is Muslim and it is very important.  We have it done on day 10 by a mohel and are very happy with it.

hiketheworld

I'm firmly the in the opposed to circ camp. DH is jewish and circ is cultural important to the vast majority of jewish people, DH is no exception. Dealing with this issue was my number one fear about having a boy. I have no idea how we will resolve this difference. If I get my way, it will cause some serious family drama among the inlaws to boot!

However, I'm pretty stubborn about this particular issue because 1) I am against genital cutting generally, male or female. 2) there is no compelling medical reason to do the procedure, 3) I do not want to be the reason my baby suffers pain- circ is painful, it bleeds, it's uncomfortable for them. My friend said holding her son and watching him suffer was the worst moment of her life. I need a really compelling reason to justify it. 4) he can make the decision for himself when he is old enough if it is important to him. It is extremely difficult and often impossible to "undo" a circ. 5) medical complications occur, as pp noted above. 6) it can diminish sexual pleasure.

The only thing that gives me pause is whether my son will feel excluded from the jewish community because of it.

absolutelymaybe

Curlyfries851 said:

They also say sex is better when the penis is left intact, circumcision removes a lot of nerves. My midwife even explained a correlation between circumcision and lube. She says Americans are #1 in both circumcisions and sale of personal lubricant. Apparently that extra bit of skin does a good job at making the girl wetter too, then keep that moisture around...it's a bit weird to consider my LO's future sex life with this decision, but hey, why not! Lol

This is totally true! DH and I never have to use lube, but I have with previous guys who were not intact. The sex is amazing :-)

Of course I'm trying not to think of my future son's sex life. Ick. Ick. Ick. 

KMW08

I need to look into this as well, but off hand does anybody know when circumcisions became the "normal"

lisaren

abbyful said:

Another tid-bit: 1 in every 500 infants circumcised has serious side-effects.

Can you link this??

Having worked on the Peds unit for 9 years I've never seen or heard of this. Not saying it doesn't happen but I'm curious as to the serious side effects you're referring to??

krgriffin26

I don't have to make this decision yet because we are having a girl but we did talk this over with some family members before finding out what we were having. I agree that there is zero "need" to circ but I'm sure we would have. I've dated men that were and men that were not circ'd. No difference or preference for me. DH said he would like our possible future son to have it done and I can't see a reason not to let it happen. I know bad things happen and sometimes things can go wrong but I have never seen a case where it has.

To add a little side note: I have actually known several grown men who decided on their own to have it done later in life for various reasons. Even my own grandpa jumped in the convo with us women and exclaimed that I "better get it done for the kid when he is little" because he himself had the procedure done at 18 and said he is happy he did it. lol WAY more than I needed to know about my grandfather but it made me feel a bit better hearing it from a man that lived with it both ways.  

To each their own and I would never judge someone who didn't or did want to circ their son. It's a personal choice.

marajay6

KMW08 said:

I need to look into this as well, but off hand does anybody know when circumcisions became the "normal"

The article I linked on the first page doesn't have the exact answer to your question, but it states that circumcision has been around for 6,000 years.  In the 1950's, about 90% of American baby boys were circumcised.  In 1988, it was 61%.  Today (the article is dated 2011) it is 65%.

I didn't realize it was so low in 1988 - I was born in 1984 and all the guys I have ever been with a circumsized.

marajay6

lisaren said:

Another tid-bit: 1 in every 500 infants circumcised has serious side-effects.

Can you link this?? Having worked on the Peds unit for 9 years I've never seen or heard of this. Not saying it doesn't happen but I'm curious as to the serious side effects you're referring to??

That stat is a bit incorrect.  From the article I posted on the first page (https://m.parenting.com/entry/view/id/7165/pn/all/p/0/?KSID=8bd8067d97c855c939907e32abd9f3b7):

"About 1 in 500 boys will have complications from the surgery, most minor and short term, including moderate bleeding, pain, irritation, and infection."

jac409

We are having a boy and he will be circumcised. DH is circumcised as well as all of the other male members of our families. Also, from what I understand, it is a lot easier to keep clean. There is really no discussion or issue over it for us.

Allisonville

Like some others have mentioned, this is one of the reasons that I thought having another daughter might be me nice. Alas, this one's a boy.

My husband wants him circumcised, but for no other reason than that he is himself and that's just what you do. I told him that we're not having surgery on our son arbitrarily and that I will absolutely respect his opinion once he's done some research.

As for me, none of the guys in my family are circumcised. I have no problem having my son circumcised, if that's what we decide, however it's not this foreign concept like it is to my husband.

So thanks for the links ladies, I'm saving them and we will both be reading them. I just wish that the AAP would tell me what to do instead of being all wishy washy on the subject!

AbbeyH

I was extremely stressed about this topic and even had a hormonal cry attack (at home) when we found out LO was a boy for this exact reason. DH is adment not to circ where I wanted to. My reasons were petty and you ladies have made me feel at ease.

mander82

We will have it done.  

lizgrace03

I told DH it was ultimately up to him, since he's the one with the penis so he understands the situation firsthand.  He is learning towards wanting to do it, but we haven't made a final decision.  

Edits, my mind is not working properly today and I keep forgetting entire words.

wallygirl

We're team green so we don't know whether it will be a relevant issue for us or not. There is really not enough evidence medically either way to sway. We still need to discuss with our pediatrician. However that being said I had to watch and "assist" (try to calm the baby) during one while I was in nursing school and it was one of the worst things I did/saw the entire time. So, since it isn't a huge difference medically my vote is no. However, I will most likely leave the final decision up to my husband.
I am with pp that you need to make sure if you choose to have it done that you express that only a physician do it. No residents, no np's etc... If we decided to I would have our pediatrician perform the procedure.

HappyToBeHere

If we have a boy, he will be circumcised.  That being said, a good friend of mine chose not to have her DS circumcised, and I don't think there will be a stigma one way or another in the future (in terms of being bullied if you're not, etc.).  I didn't grow up with boys, so I really let DH decide this one.

My mom is an MD and says while it truly is a preference thing, hygiene is a big factor, and she says she does hear of cases where adult men are having to get the procedure done later in life.  But she had girls and didn't have to make the decision so ...

Anyway, I really do like reading all the opinions on this, since it is something that I often think about should a bouncing baby boy come out in November!

AnnieRoo13

Definitely not circumsizing my LO. DH isn't circumsized and to be honest I have been with both men who are and who aren't and I prefer men who are not. It wasn't even really a conversation we needed to have as neither of us feel that it's medically necessary or that it is something that I want to impose on my infant son.  

abbyful

lisaren said:

abbyful said:

Another tid-bit: 1 in every 500 infants circumcised has serious side-effects.

Can you link this??

Having worked on the Peds unit for 9 years I've never seen or heard of this. Not saying it doesn't happen but I'm curious as to the serious side effects you're referring to??

It's mentioned here: https://www.childrensmercy.org/PediatricAdvisor/Article.aspx?id=466
"Problems with surgery. Problems that may occur are skin or bloodstream infections, bleeding, gangrene, scarring, and various surgical accidents. One study showed that 1 of every 500 circumcised newborns suffered a serious side effect."

I'm on my phone right now, so can't hunt for the original study.

There are lots of articles on PubMed about circumcision complications.

maebee87

We are not circumcising our son. Our doctor told us in our area (Ontario Canada) it was done only 30% of the time and it was mostly for religious reasons. The risks involved in the surgery far outweigh the benefits in our opinion. We will teach our son how to clean himself. This is our personal choice and luckily both DH and I agree on it.