Unpopular Opinions

persephonerose

noonandj04 said:

So I just read this article that there's a proposed 76 million dollar plan to install a safety net under the Golden Gate Bridge to help drop the record-high suicide rate. This is bogus. I know I'm not from San Francisco so I don't really deserve a say in how the city spends its money, but really?? How about put $76 million towards programs to help people that actually want to live? If you stop dedicated people from jumping off the Golden Gate bridge, they'll just find some other way to kill themselves. This seems like such a waste of money that could be better spent elsewhere.

https://news.yahoo.com/golden-gate-bridge-suicides-san-francisco-jumpers-031118820.html

I would imagine it is not just about saving people who want to jumping. When a person jumps from a public bridge/building a lot of things happen. Traffic gets blocked off, they have to search for the person/body, and its probably a lot of man hours from cops/rescue teams. That stuff adds up quickly.

Emerald27

noonandj04 said:

...How about put $76 million towards programs to help people that actually want to live?...

Methinks suicide prevention is SUPER important, and whether or not a net under a bridge is a good way to work toward that is another question entirely. The attitude this UO expresses is extremely sad.

TheOtherJacobsons

Nicb13 said:

wildflower75 said:

crawford411 said:

crawford411 said:

Ill take it a step further than the no leggings in public rule and say that I have a strict rule against sweatpants in public unless you are actively exercising. I don't think it's so hard to toss a pair of jeans or shorts on. It just shows more respect to others when you get dressed. However, I have broken this rule once in the past several years... and it wad yesterday when I wore yoga capris to get a pedicure. Pregnancy is making me soft.

I don't think athletic apparel or yoga pants = sweat pants. I think it is fine for someone to wear their yoga pants or workout pants in public. How would you know if one is "actively" exercising? What if you are on your way to the gym and need to stop and pickup something at the store? Should they have to wear jeans just to walk into a grocery store? 
X_X

Nope. Its not that intense. I just mean that if you aren't wearing them for exercise, might as well toss on some other pants instead. I also realize that this is probably a personal quirk. I miss the days when people would get dressed up to go out to eat or to see a play. It seems like we've lost something by being so casual all the time.

THIS!
I really wish people would dress nicer when they go out to eat or to the theater or when they travel. Back in the day you got dressed up to go on a plane now it's all juicy couture sweat pants...UGH!

Why? I mean, for real, why do you care how someone else dresses? I don't get that.

I agree about the theater or the symphony. It is an event you dress up for. It's more a show of respect for the arts as well as showing good manners. It's not the movies, you shouldn't be wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Growing up, my mother took me to the symphony, opera, theater, etc. We would dress for the event. Now I really do think it is appalling what people wear to the theater. Seriously clutching my pearls here.  

pnwlover12

Emerald27 said:

...How about put $76 million towards programs to help people that actually want to live?...

Methinks suicide prevention is SUPER important, and whether or not a net under a bridge is a good way to work toward that is another question entirely. The attitude this UO expresses is extremely sad.

end quote --

I actually sort of agree with OP. That is a shit ton of money. and like OP said, there are many other ways to kill yourself. I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but it just seems like a drastic amount of money when it won't really solve "suicide prevention"

pnwlover12

fireflyrebirth said:

trisharenee0316 said:

UO: The amount of poor shaming in this thread is kind of repulsive.

Right there with you.  It's making me really uncomfortable...

No one has thrown out the term "welfare queen" yet but it feels like we are getting close.

I really hope no one thought what I said about improving the system was poor shaming. That was not my intention at all. I just know there are a TON of people who abuse the system regularly and it seems like something could be done to try and prevent that.

Food stamps or any other kind of assistance is very important and I have had to apply for temporary medical insurance through the state before (1st pregnancy, I got laid off from my job at 7 weeks pregnant).

That being said, I could give two shits what someone is wearing when they use their EBT card. But I also don't care what anyone wears in general, anyway

Emerald27

pnwlover12 said:

Emerald27 said:

noonandj04 said:

...How about put $76 million towards programs to help people that actually want to live?...

Methinks suicide prevention is SUPER important, and whether or not a net under a bridge is a good way to work toward that is another question entirely. The attitude this UO expresses is extremely sad.




end quote --

I actually sort of agree with OP. That is a shit ton of money. and like OP said, there are many other ways to kill yourself. I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but it just seems like a drastic amount of money when it won't really solve "suicide prevention"


------------------------------------------------------
That's why I only commented on this one line. I agree that $76mil toward a net under a bridge isn't going to solve much, but I disagree with the opinion expressed that resources shouldn't be used on those who don't want to live.

pnwlover12

Emerald27 said:

Emerald27 said:

...How about put $76 million towards programs to help people that actually want to live?...

Methinks suicide prevention is SUPER important, and whether or not a net under a bridge is a good way to work toward that is another question entirely. The attitude this UO expresses is extremely sad.

end quote --

I actually sort of agree with OP. That is a shit ton of money. and like OP said, there are many other ways to kill yourself. I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but it just seems like a drastic amount of money when it won't really solve "suicide prevention"

------------------------------------------------------ That's why I only commented on this one line. I agree that $76mil toward a net under a bridge isn't going to solve much, but I disagree with the opinion expressed that resources shouldn't be used on those who don't want to live.

Gotcha. That makes sense

bennikki

MrsCunningham22 said:

Ok, I have one that has been bugging me this week. 

I dislike when I see parents make comments like "I just want my pediatrician to take care of the medicine part of things and stay out of our parenting choices" I have a family member that has been saying this to me due to some recommendations made by their pediatrician about their toddler. 

I don't think people realize how many parenting choices may have medical repercussions. I say this as a daughter of a pediatrician; when my dad practiced he did have suggestions to parents in regards to parenting choices, at the end it is the parents decisions but he would explain why certain practices could cause medical results. 

I.E Toddlers having bottles at night usually makes them vulnerable to ear infections. If you pediatrician tells you that, do not get upset. They are just trying to guide to you prevent more infections. 

 

I totally agree with this.  We don't go to a pediatrician, we go to a family physician, and he has such a strong philosophy about treating the whole family (knowing what's going on at home, knowing our diet/lifestyle, keeping up with outside stresses) that I really feel everyone in my family is getting the best treatment.  He's been my doctor since I was 13, and when we switched to a Paleo/Primal Lifestyle 3 years ago to help with our fertility struggles, he consulted other doctors about benefits/disadvantages and fully supported us instead of jumping to a conclusion that "we're doing the crazy caveman diet thing."  Because of his full knowledge of my family, when someone comes down with something, he's able to ask how others in the house are dealing with it. 

I agree there are doctors out there who don't take the time to truly understand their patients, and if that is your dr. then I think you are right to try and find another one, but educated and informed advice from a dr. should at least be considered before you write it off as "don't tell me how to raise my kids."

wildflower75

TheOtherJacobsons said:

Nicb13 said:

wildflower75 said:

crawford411 said:

crawford411 said:

Ill take it a step further than the no leggings in public rule and say that I have a strict rule against sweatpants in public unless you are actively exercising. I don't think it's so hard to toss a pair of jeans or shorts on. It just shows more respect to others when you get dressed. However, I have broken this rule once in the past several years... and it wad yesterday when I wore yoga capris to get a pedicure. Pregnancy is making me soft.

I don't think athletic apparel or yoga pants = sweat pants. I think it is fine for someone to wear their yoga pants or workout pants in public. How would you know if one is "actively" exercising? What if you are on your way to the gym and need to stop and pickup something at the store? Should they have to wear jeans just to walk into a grocery store? 
X_X

Nope. Its not that intense. I just mean that if you aren't wearing them for exercise, might as well toss on some other pants instead. I also realize that this is probably a personal quirk. I miss the days when people would get dressed up to go out to eat or to see a play. It seems like we've lost something by being so casual all the time.

THIS!
I really wish people would dress nicer when they go out to eat or to the theater or when they travel. Back in the day you got dressed up to go on a plane now it's all juicy couture sweat pants...UGH!

Why? I mean, for real, why do you care how someone else dresses? I don't get that.

I agree about the theater or the symphony. It is an event you dress up for. It's more a show of respect for the arts as well as showing good manners. It's not the movies, you shouldn't be wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Growing up, my mother took me to the symphony, opera, theater, etc. We would dress for the event. Now I really do think it is appalling what people wear to the theater. Seriously clutching my pearls here.  

TheOtherJacobsons Exactly! Agreed!

SusieBW

pnwlover12 said:

wildflower75 said:

THIS!
I really wish people would dress nicer when they go out to eat or to the theater or when they travel. Back in the day you got dressed up to go on a plane now it's all juicy couture sweat pants...UGH!

But flying used to be sort of luxurious.  Now it's really just expensive public transportation.  Like riding the city bus, but on a much larger scale.  I see no reason to dress up to travel anymore.  Like someone else said, planes have become so uncomfortable and miserable (assuming you're flying coach), you might as well at least be comfortable.

Seriously. Women also used to wear dresses every single day. No one on the plane cares

I tried to cut down that quote, hope I didn't mess it up.

But I wanted to add - I'm not saying I think it's fine to be slovenly, because that's not what I mean at all.  By all means, wear your yoga pants or track pants or whatever, but make a little effort, kwim?  I don't think it's alright to roll out in your dirty spongebob jammie pants and slippers.

MrsSinner402

I just think its hilarious that this thread is so long and mainly about yoga pants in public. :-q

TheOtherJacobsons

Nicb13 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

Nicb13 said:

Why? I mean, for real, why do you care how someone else dresses? I don't get that.

I agree about the theater or the symphony. It is an event you dress up for. It's more a show of respect for the arts as well as showing good manners. It's not the movies, you shouldn't be wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Growing up, my mother took me to the symphony, opera, theater, etc. We would dress for the event. Now I really do think it is appalling what people wear to the theater. Seriously clutching my pearls here.  

I never go to either of these but I would think that those who do, dress accordingly right? I mean, how fancy do they have to be??

You'd be surprised. I am not saying that they have to go full on Pretty Woman, but it should be as nice as a dinner date and can be as formal as black tie. It really depends on where you're going and what you are going to see.

[Deleted User]

Emerald27 said: Emerald27 said: ...How about put $76 million towards programs to help people that actually want to live?...
Methinks suicide prevention is SUPER important, and whether or not a net under a bridge is a good way to work toward that is another question entirely. The attitude this UO expresses is extremely sad.

end quote --

I actually sort of agree with OP. That is a shit ton of money. and like OP said, there are many other ways to kill yourself. I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but it just seems like a drastic amount of money when it won't really solve "suicide prevention"
------------------------------------------------------ That's why I only commented on this one line. I agree that $76mil toward a net under a bridge isn't going to solve much, but I disagree with the opinion expressed that resources shouldn't be used on those who don't want to live. -------------------------whoooopsquotequotequote---------------------------------

I definitely get what you're saying, and I'm sure that line of mine came off as pretty heartless. I agree that suicide prevention is important. I guess what I meant is that that money could go to other methods of prevention, like support programs for those contemplating suicide. There are many people who consider suicide their only option, and they need help, but they don't really want to die. But for those who've made up their minds about it, a net isn't going to stop them. They will find another bridge, another method. 

This might meander a bit off-topic, but I think our nation in general doesn't take mental illness seriously until something big happens and it's too late, and then it's brought up in conversation and forgotten again until the next tragic event. Perhaps we should focus more money and effort into properly identifying and treating these people before it ever gets to that point. How, though? I have no idea.

wildflower75

pnwlover12 said:

Seriously. Women also used to wear dresses every single day. No one on the plane cares

I think I may have put this in a UO before... I do wear dresses everyday
(and I also hate it when people wear flip flops on city streets (that are not beach towns)) 

Part of the problem IS that people don't care... and that's why you see people wearing pajamas to Walmart! By no means do I expect anyone to dress up to go to Walmart but it's this attitude of not caring that is carrying over to going out to dinner and a show or on a plane etc...

pnwlover12

wildflower75 said:

pnwlover12 said:

Seriously. Women also used to wear dresses every single day. No one on the plane cares

I think I may have put this in a UO before... I do wear dresses everyday
(and I also hate it when people wear flip flops on city streets (that are not beach towns)) 

Part of the problem IS that people don't care... and that's why you see people wearing pajamas to Walmart! By no means do I expect anyone to dress up to go to Walmart but it's this attitude of not caring that is carrying over to going out to dinner and a show or on a plane etc...

I get what you are saying. But you choose to wear dresses everyday - no one expects you to. Also, I think there is a huge difference in going out somewhere nice (Theatre, ballet, a nice restaurant, etc) and going to the freakin' grocery store to buy food. I would never go out in athletic or sweat pants to a nice place. But for a walk around town with my kid and then run some errands? Hell yes. Yoga pants for the win.

lilmissfancy

In regards to sweatpants/pjs in public. I can't even check the mail or take out the trash until my hair is done and I'm dressed in a nice outfit. I know I have a serious issue lol. I was raised that way and it has become a habit. I just like when I see people dressed nice in public.

persephonerose

I am sure I am in the minority, I do actually care what I look like, but soft pants are my friend. I am sure I am not the only one who has skin sensitivity issues and select clothing based upon the fabric it is made of instead of how fashionable it looks.  For a long time I wore pj pants out of the house. Why? Because they were the only thing in my size that the fabric did not feel like it was going to flay me alive.  

I know I got a lot of strange looks but at least I was covered, the other option was to go nude. I am sure that would have been worse.

pnwlover12

lilmissfancy said:

In regards to sweatpants/pjs in public. I can't even check the mail or take out the trash until my hair is done and I'm dressed in a nice outfit. I know I have a serious issue lol. I was raised that way and it has become a habit. I just like when I see people dressed nice in public.

You can't check your mail without your hair being done? I'm not trying to be a bitch but that is crazy to me.

ladybug0088

UO but I son think we should have welfare longer than a couple of months. Other countries don't do this and they either let family take care of them or work. I think er have too many people that are abusing the system and enabling the pattern to repeat.

I also don't believe in a free lunch at school. As a teacher, I'm sad to see my rich kids parents lie and say they don't make a lot just so they can abuse the system. My dad had to work for his lunch by cleaning off tables, etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with a kid earning his lunch or breakfast. Giving handouts to capable kids bothers me. Some kids also have this entitlement like oh in didn't eat and thew away my lunch because no just don't like it. So I ask why they don't pack their lunch and they look at me like km crazy. Meanwhile they have their Nike shoes on and their iPhone and beats.

I know not everyone abuses the system, but the number is sadly growing. People just aren't honest.

wildflower75

pnwlover12 said:

wildflower75 said:

pnwlover12 said:

Seriously. Women also used to wear dresses every single day. No one on the plane cares

I think I may have put this in a UO before... I do wear dresses everyday
(and I also hate it when people wear flip flops on city streets (that are not beach towns)) 

Part of the problem IS that people don't care... and that's why you see people wearing pajamas to Walmart! By no means do I expect anyone to dress up to go to Walmart but it's this attitude of not caring that is carrying over to going out to dinner and a show or on a plane etc...

I get what you are saying. But you choose to wear dresses everyday - no one expects you to. Also, I think there is a huge difference in going out somewhere nice (Theatre, ballet, a nice restaurant, etc) and going to the freakin' grocery store to buy food. I would never go out in athletic or sweat pants to a nice place. But for a walk around town with my kid and then run some errands? Hell yes. Yoga pants for the win.

Totally agree!

MrMrsandBaby

MrsSinner402 said:

I just think its hilarious that this thread is so long and mainly about yoga pants in public. :-q

That is overly generalized...more like appropriate dress and caring what you look like.  Semantics...

persephonerose

ladybug0088 said:

UO but I son think we should have welfare longer than a couple of months. Other countries don't do this and they either let family take care of them or work. I think er have too many people that are abusing the system and enabling the pattern to repeat. I also don't believe in a free lunch at school. As a teacher, I'm sad to see my rich kids parents lie and say they don't make a lot just so they can abuse the system. My dad had to work for his lunch by cleaning off tables, etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with a kid earning his lunch or breakfast. Giving handouts to capable kids bothers me. Some kids also have this entitlement like oh in didn't eat and thew away my lunch because no just don't like it. So I ask why they don't pack their lunch and they look at me like km crazy. Meanwhile they have their Nike shoes on and their iPhone and beats. I know not everyone abuses the system, but the number is sadly growing. People just aren't honest.

Oh...
and Child labor laws...

wildflower75

ladybug0088 said:

UO but I son think we should have welfare longer than a couple of months. Other countries don't do this and they either let family take care of them or work. I think er have too many people that are abusing the system and enabling the pattern to repeat. I also don't believe in a free lunch at school. As a teacher, I'm sad to see my rich kids parents lie and say they don't make a lot just so they can abuse the system. My dad had to work for his lunch by cleaning off tables, etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with a kid earning his lunch or breakfast. Giving handouts to capable kids bothers me. Some kids also have this entitlement like oh in didn't eat and thew away my lunch because no just don't like it. So I ask why they don't pack their lunch and they look at me like km crazy. Meanwhile they have their Nike shoes on and their iPhone and beats. I know not everyone abuses the system, but the number is sadly growing. People just aren't honest.

People aren't honest so we should penalize the people that really need it??
The free lunch at school program started because there was/ is a need for it.
I think the better thing to do would be to find a way to make sure peopel don't abuse the system rather than get rid of it completely.

trisharenee0316

Florida already did drug testing for welfare recipients and it cost the state more than it saved.  Sounds like a huge ass waste of money to me.  Because what are we saying is the point here: that we want to save money, or that we want to punish poor people who make bad choices?  If the former, the testing doesn't work.  If the latter, that's a jacked up priority to have at the expense of everyone else.

fireflyrebirth

jalara48 said:

fireflyrebirth said:

trisharenee0316 said:

UO: The amount of poor shaming in this thread is kind of repulsive.

Right there with you.  It's making me really uncomfortable...

No one has thrown out the term "welfare queen" yet but it feels like we are getting close.

Allow me.

That would be my birth mother. She's the Welfare Fucking Queen of Canada. She had me at 18 and, to this day, has never had a job. She has, however, been involved with multiple gangs, never once been sober or off of drugs, manipulated every single system, used my 2 half brothers to help her do it and no one has. ever. monitored what she spends her money on.

Drugs. Alcohol. And cigarettes ofcourse.

Two years ago she moved in with my grandmother. Hasn't paid for a damn thing bill since.

She's the Welfare Queen.

Call that whatever you want. But I stand by my opinion. Social assistance needs to be highly monitored because people like her exist.

I am not saying that there aren't a handful of people who abuse the system.  I am not saying the system is anywhere near perfect.  But people piling on anecdotes and judgments about welfare queens and the like is not useful.  It's classism and I am not comfortable with it.

I guess I really started to grow uncomfortable when the following two discussions progressed side-by-side:

A) How dare adults who work at fast food chains strike?  Why should they demand a living wage so they can support their families?  Shouldn't they be happy to have a job (or two or three)?  And P.S. why can't they even do their job right and take some pride in their work?

with

You know tons of people on public assistance are getting manicures and buying iPhones right?  And they're just getting booze and cigarettes and not feeding their eight children, who they don't even care about by the way.

Like...how are people supposed to win?

MrsSinner402

MrMrsandBaby said:

MrsSinner402 said:

I just think its hilarious that this thread is so long and mainly about yoga pants in public. :-q

That is overly generalized...more like appropriate dress and caring what you look like.  Semantics...


And it was also a joke. Lighten up.

ashie0610

Nicb13 said:

bennikki said:

 

 

I totally agree with this.  We don't go to a pediatrician, we go to a family physician, and he has such a strong philosophy about treating the whole family (knowing what's going on at home, knowing our diet/lifestyle, keeping up with outside stresses) that I really feel everyone in my family is getting the best treatment.  He's been my doctor since I was 13, and when we switched to a Paleo/Primal Lifestyle 3 years ago to help with our fertility struggles, he consulted other doctors about benefits/disadvantages and fully supported us instead of jumping to a conclusion that "we're doing the crazy caveman diet thing."  Because of his full knowledge of my family, when someone comes down with something, he's able to ask how others in the house are dealing with it. 

 

You are quite lucky because physicians like this are rare IMO and I work in healthcare.

Most GP's and even Pediatrician's give out textbook advice like, "your baby is 4 months old, time to start rice cereal and let them CIO at night". Lots of people go home with that info, don't question it and just start trying, only to find out that the textbook advice they were given doesn't work for their baby and then they are frustrated.

It's sad how rushed and impersonal healthcare can be these days and you are truly lucky if you find a provider you can relate to on a personal level that actually cares about you and your family.

**I love our Pedi by the way but I take her advice with a grain of salt and apply certain advice to my son and ditch the rest.

AMEN.

TheOtherJacobsons

ladybug0088 said:

UO but I son think we should have welfare longer than a couple of months. Other countries don't do this and they either let family take care of them or work. I think er have too many people that are abusing the system and enabling the pattern to repeat. I also don't believe in a free lunch at school. As a teacher, I'm sad to see my rich kids parents lie and say they don't make a lot just so they can abuse the system. My dad had to work for his lunch by cleaning off tables, etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with a kid earning his lunch or breakfast. Giving handouts to capable kids bothers me. Some kids also have this entitlement like oh in didn't eat and thew away my lunch because no just don't like it. So I ask why they don't pack their lunch and they look at me like km crazy. Meanwhile they have their Nike shoes on and their iPhone and beats. I know not everyone abuses the system, but the number is sadly growing. People just aren't honest.

It is a bigger problem than this. It's not really that people are abusing it, it is that the income cut off for supplying these services still less than it costs to care for your family. It really isn't a matter of enabling people. It is that the system is near impossible to escape.

Now, I don't think people should just pop out kids to stay on welfare, which is what some of the people who do abuse the system do, but I do think that there is a genuine need for the system. 

As for lunches, this is how I ate my lunch at school. My mother was a single mom and we were really happy to receive this service. I was able to use it from grade school all the way through middle school. I did not have fancy shoes or an iPhone or any number of other things you think make a child less worthy of food. I am glad that my mother could use the money she was not spending on school lunches to pay for things like shoes, school supplies, and a roof over my head.

I did make mention to going to the theater growing up. Obviously these things stopped once my mother could no longer afford it and was the sole supporter of our family. 

lilmissfancy

pnwlover12 said:

lilmissfancy said:

In regards to sweatpants/pjs in public. I can't even check the mail or take out the trash until my hair is done and I'm dressed in a nice outfit. I know I have a serious issue lol. I was raised that way and it has become a habit. I just like when I see people dressed nice in public.

You can't check your mail without your hair being done? I'm not trying to be a bitch but that is crazy to me.


Yeah, my husband says the same thing. I know it's crazy lol. As long as people are covered up idc what they wear. I hate sagging pants.

ladybug0088

I'm not talking child labor at all. The kids that need a lunch can earn it though. Why give handouts when they are capable? People are so stuck on not making other kids feel "different."

I've been on so many field trips where the kids say they can't pay and they want their money back after they've already turned in the money. They say oh, I forgot I'm on free lunch so I don't have to pay. Parents don't realize that schools only get $20 for field trips per free student for the whole year. These kids think they should get free overnight trips and all the field trips free. It puts the schools in a difficult situation as well as the teachers and principal.

I've had kids shower at school, bought clothes for them, took them to get school supplies with my own money of money from the school, etc.

I'm not against helping them, but I think they are getting a sense of entitlement.

I also don't think it's the schools job or the governments job to raise kids by feeding, providing clothes, parenting them, and teaching them.

pnwlover12

ladybug0088 said:

UO but I son think we should have welfare longer than a couple of months. Other countries don't do this and they either let family take care of them or work. I think er have too many people that are abusing the system and enabling the pattern to repeat. I also don't believe in a free lunch at school. As a teacher, I'm sad to see my rich kids parents lie and say they don't make a lot just so they can abuse the system. My dad had to work for his lunch by cleaning off tables, etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with a kid earning his lunch or breakfast. Giving handouts to capable kids bothers me. Some kids also have this entitlement like oh in didn't eat and thew away my lunch because no just don't like it. So I ask why they don't pack their lunch and they look at me like km crazy. Meanwhile they have their Nike shoes on and their iPhone and beats. I know not everyone abuses the system, but the number is sadly growing. People just aren't honest.

WTAF. I think that is so messed up. Yes, let's penalize the 8 year old child whose parents cannot afford to buy lunch for him. That should really help him make friends too.

persephonerose

ladybug0088 said:

I'm not talking child labor at all. The kids that need a lunch can earn it though. Why give handouts when they are capable? People are so stuck on not making other kids feel "different." I've been on so many field trips where the kids say they can't pay and they want their money back after they've already turned in the money. They say oh, I forgot I'm on free lunch so I don't have to pay. Parents don't realize that schools only get $20 for field trips per free student for the whole year. These kids think they should get free overnight trips and all the field trips free. It puts the schools in a difficult situation as well as the teachers and principal. I've had kids shower at school, bought clothes for them, took them to get school supplies with my own money of money from the school, etc. I'm not against helping them, but I think they are getting a sense of entitlement. I also don't think it's the schools job or the governments job to raise kids by feeding, providing clothes, parenting them, and teaching them.

Yes because being poor and having to ask for hand outs gives you a HUGE sense of entitlement.

And children having to work for food... Im sorry that is just wrong on so many levels and there is a reason why we do not allow children under a certain age to have jobs in this country.

Emerald27

I am stunned at the turn this thread has taken. Children working for their meals? Sometimes the only meal they get that day?

I have no words... :-O

ladybug0088

I think until you see it and experience it you may have a different opinion. It is very prevelant among the rich kids living in half a million dollar homes next to my school and there is nothing we can do about it currently.

bumpuser10309732

Nicb13 said:

MrsBabe614 said:

Littledeer84 said:

What are people with ebt cards suppose to look like? Must they look sloppy for it to be acceptable for them to use the benefits they qualify for? I get my name brand cloths through second hand stores or sites like liketwice.com. I don't understand judging by appearences.

definitely not! but having your nails done, with your brand new phone and your kid isn't dressed equally as well- not ok. Which I've witnessed quite a bit working at a grocery store through high school/college. I know there are always instances where sometimes you need a little help in life, I've definitely been there myself. I've also had friends who were on food stamps and I've done things like take them to the grocery store so I'm sure I got the side eye for all of my expensive crap!

This is crap. Plain BS. My son often ends up looking like a slob when we are out because he's a messy toddler, as much as I'd like for him to stay clean that's not always possible. And I paint my own nails. I don't go get manicures even though I can afford them.

There is so much judgment here it's making my head spin. GRRRRRR

And if someone with an EBT card wants a fucking Red Bull then let them have a fucking Red Bull. Jesus people.

 

There's a definite difference between that and a messy kid in my opinion. I'm not saying your kid needs to be well bathed every time you go out into public. I'm simply sharing something that I have seen in my own experience working at a grocery store. The couple of instances I'm referring to I saw on a regular basis and was always the same. It doesn't mean everyone on food stamps is that way, at all. Like I said before I've had plenty of friends on food stamps and honestly could've qualified for them myself more than once, I'm just lucky enough to have parents to help fill in the gaps when I had those times where I couldn't make ends meet.

ladybug0088

Sorry, not true. Backpack meals, breakfast and lunch, after school free snacks...we have a summer program setup too.

I'm not talking about the small portion of kids who actually need it. I'm talking about the majority that are abusing this.

persephonerose

ladybug0088 said:

I think until you see it and experience it you may have a different opinion. It is very prevelant among the rich kids living in half a million dollar homes next to my school and there is nothing we can do about it currently.

I have lived it and experienced it, both growing up and working in the public school system and with foster children.  But you are talking about punishing poor children because rich kids act like pricks and the system is broken. Your frustration should be directed at looking at ways to fix the system in your area instead of dwelling on children starting to feel entitled.

pnwlover12

ladybug0088 said:

I think until you see it and experience it you may have a different opinion. It is very prevelant among the rich kids living in half a million dollar homes next to my school and there is nothing we can do about it currently.

Hmm, well I think maybe a better course of action would perhaps be making the parents provide proof of income. You want your child to have free lunch? We will need to see your paystubs to determine if you qualify. Or maybe the parents who sign up for free lunch should need to do some volunteering with the school to help offset costs somewhere. But making a child go hungry, or work for a shitty $3 meal is ridiculous and insulting.

ladybug0088

I totally agree with you. This was just my opinion... I don't have a solution.

[Deleted User]

fireflyrebirth said:

jalara48 said:

fireflyrebirth said:

trisharenee0316 said:

UO: The amount of poor shaming in this thread is kind of repulsive.

Right there with you.  It's making me really uncomfortable...

No one has thrown out the term "welfare queen" yet but it feels like we are getting close.

Allow me.

That would be my birth mother. She's the Welfare Fucking Queen of Canada. She had me at 18 and, to this day, has never had a job. She has, however, been involved with multiple gangs, never once been sober or off of drugs, manipulated every single system, used my 2 half brothers to help her do it and no one has. ever. monitored what she spends her money on.

Drugs. Alcohol. And cigarettes ofcourse.

Two years ago she moved in with my grandmother. Hasn't paid for a damn thing bill since.

She's the Welfare Queen.

Call that whatever you want. But I stand by my opinion. Social assistance needs to be highly monitored because people like her exist.

I am not saying that there aren't a handful of people who abuse the system.  I am not saying the system is anywhere near perfect.  But people piling on anecdotes and judgments about welfare queens and the like is not useful.  It's classism and I am not comfortable with it.

I guess I really started to grow uncomfortable when the following two discussions progressed side-by-side:

A) How dare adults who work at fast food chains strike?  Why should they demand a living wage so they can support their families?  Shouldn't they be happy to have a job (or two or three)?  And P.S. why can't they even do their job right and take some pride in their work?

with

You know tons of people on public assistance are getting manicures and buying iPhones right?  And they're just getting booze and cigarettes and not feeding their eight children, who they don't even care about by the way.

Like...how are people supposed to win?

Here's what kind of irks me about this thread. It's called UO, we're expected to bring up our unpopular opinions. If we play it too safe, everyone's bored and says so. But if we bring up something that sparks actual debate/discussion, then we have people who are offended/uncomfortable. Why? I don't feel like anyone here has said anything disrespectful. People should be able to voice their opinions without being made to feel like we're shitty "poor-shamers". I feel like having an opinion that leans even slightly right of center automatically gets you stamped with the "judgmental a$$hole" label, and it can be tiresome. I think people who brought up points in the A) and subjects you mentioned above did so with valid reasoning behind it. One side is not all right here, and one side is not all wrong. There are good points on each; things aren't just black and white. People are going to stop sharing their opinions if all they get for it is flame.