How do we not have a UO thread?

notkateanymore

Guess that's what we should have kept Hav around for...

Spill.

MomIn2013

I'm glad we don't do big birthday parties in our family, because there are 1000 other things I'd prefer to do with my weekends than sitting around making small talk with extended family and watching kids open presents.

magentawarped

Kimbus22 said:

Toddlers are way harder than newborns.

Amen to that.

magentawarped

I hate maxi skirts and wish they would die as a fashion.

minerswife17

MomIn2013 said:

I'm glad we don't do big birthday parties in our family, because there are 1000 other things I'd prefer to do with my weekends than sitting around making small talk with extended family and watching kids open presents.

This 100%. We did a big birthday party for DDs 1st birthday and she probably won't have another huge one until she's 13. ( depending on her attitude lol) but def 16. Other birthdays will be small with immediate family.

minerswife17

Kimbus22 said:

Toddlers are way harder than newborns.

I'm afraid to find out. :-SS

Andrewsgal

I don't think newborns are hard at all, but are extremely boring. I prefer toddlers.

Andrewsgal

There was a conversation on my BMB about how hard it is to shower, I judge that. If you have time to bump you have time to shower,

Andrewsgal

MomIn2013 said:

I'm glad we don't do big birthday parties in our family, because there are 1000 other things I'd prefer to do with my weekends than sitting around making small talk with extended family and watching kids open presents.

I love birthday parities of close family and friends. My idea of a perfect weekend involves sitting around drinking and bullshitting with those I am closest to. Birthday parties just give us an excuse to do that more often.

chelseymat

Andrewsgal said:

There was a conversation on my BMB about how hard it is to shower, I judge that. If you have time to bump you have time to shower,

This. I have never understood how people can't find five minutes to get in the shower so they aren't disgusting. Seriously it's 5 minutes. Even if the baby cries....it's 5 minutes. I swear these women just want to be martyrs.

minerswife17

Eww this reminds me. On my BMB, when our babies were a month old or so, one mom said she didn't have time to even put deodorant on for like 3 days! :-& there seriously is NO excuse for that!

magentawarped

Luckey4 said:

Eww this reminds me. On my BMB, when our babies were a month old or so, one mom said she didn't have time to even put deodorant on for like 3 days! :-& there seriously is NO excuse for that!

Barf.

minerswife17

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant with #3. Kim made an announcement before that she wants another baby right after their wedding. I think Kourtney maybe did it to steal the spotlight. I know no one cares about them but I had to get it off my chest.

magentawarped

LalaMama81 said:

cjcouple said:

LalaMama81 said:

magentawarped said:

Luckey4 said:

Eww this reminds me. On my BMB, when our babies were a month old or so, one mom said she didn't have time to even put deodorant on for like 3 days! :-& there seriously is NO excuse for that!

Barf.

I think you are overreacting. I forget to put deodorant on all the time when we are away at our family's cabin. I agree it's ridiculous to say you didn't have time to do it, but some people, shock, don't even wear deodorant. 

this has more to do with a persons body odor. I have really bad BO without deoderant.  


Sure. I just don't think it's a barf-worthy moment necessarily. 

Did you not have the post-baby BO? Because almost everyone I know did. Even if they were normally fine, hormones went crazy and we all stank for like two months. Deodorant was a necessity at that point.

MomIn2013

Agree that engagement parties are gift grabby.

I'll take it a step further: if you've lived on your own or together as a couple for years, and still have a shower, I think that borders on gift grabby too. The purpose is to shower a couple with what they need for their home together, so if they already have pretty much everything and still have a shower (I've actually seen people register for gift cards, honeymoons, etc.), I think that's tacky.

jensriot

I didn't even know that people gave gifts at engagement parties. To be fair, I don't think I've been to an actual official party, but a nice dinners out with a big group to celebrate the engagement instead.

I know it's not a UO here, but apparently it is IRL. Friends should not be obligated to buy your new direct sales product just because you are friends. It is also not "unsupportive" to not waste money on this stuff. I love my friends, I just don't want to buy the junk.

MomIn2013

If I was invited to a party for every kid, of all of my extended family, for every birthday, I'd be going to friggin' birthday parties almost every weekend. I'm sorry, it's nice that your kid is turning four (or five, or whatever), but it's just not as important to me as it obviously is to you. Immediate family I get, but extended family, no way.

notkateanymore

larkin220 said:

I think it is totally gift grabby when couples have $$$$ registries and they have been living together already, or they are 40yo etc. Surely they have plates and sheets, right? And I'm sure not buying a grown ass man a $550 All Clad crock pot.

Old people don't deserve wedding gifts? Odd.

magentawarped

amy052006 said:

Also, older maaried couples have better wedding registries because they most likely have grown to appreciate quality.  As opposed to the idiot 22 year old I know who had a registry that included a swiffer.

I would totally buy the Swiffer. $15 wedding gift? Done. I'll even throw in extra pads.

raraavis28

LalaMama81 said:

magentawarped said:

Eww this reminds me. On my BMB, when our babies were a month old or so, one mom said she didn't have time to even put deodorant on for like 3 days! :-& there seriously is NO excuse for that!

Barf.

I think you are overreacting. I forget to put deodorant on all the time when we are away at our family's cabin. I agree it's ridiculous to say you didn't have time to do it, but some people, shock, don't even wear deodorant. 

I do think the barf-worthiness is situation-dependent, though I will agree w/ OP that the premise that having a newborn makes one too busy to put on deodorant is BS. Martyr city going on over there. Oh, and night showers FTW!

MomIn2013

amy052006 said:

MomIn2013 said:

If I was invited to a party for every kid, of all of my extended family, for every birthday, I'd be going to friggin' birthday parties almost every weekend. I'm sorry, it's nice that your kid is turning four (or five, or whatever), but it's just not as important to me as it obviously is to you. Immediate family I get, but extended family, no way.

See, I don't think it is a big deal to say no to a party.  We do it all the time. We send a gift, and life goes on.

I'd feel guilty saying no unless we really couldn't make it. I guess that might just be me, though.

MomIn2013

I think if you've been living as a couple for years but have a wedding shower because you want "newer, nicer home things" = Having a 2nd (3rd, etc.) baby shower even though you've already had one because you want "newer, nicer baby things".

Andrewsgal

MomIn2013 said:

I think if you've been living as a couple for years but have a wedding shower because you want "newer, nicer home things" = Having a 2nd (3rd, etc.) baby shower even though you've already had one because you want "newer, nicer baby things".

Seriously? Who thinks like this? So odd.

raraavis28

amy052006 said:

I can tell this will be another UO where I want to hug my mice, normal, non bitter and ridiculous family and friends.

Just don't hug the mice too hard....don't want to squish them.

I've been trying to muster an opinion about all these party issues.....but I can't. Do what makes you happy, and what's normal in your family and friends circle, and who else cares? Boring UOer as usual... :-P

bumpuser8448316

I have been to several engagement parties. No one brought gifts. I think complaining about being gift grabby is weird. You're totally cool with your friend and family until you might possibly have to spend $$ and then OMG rude! Gift grabby!

spring_time

I think it is gift grabby to invite someone to your wedding who you have had no contact with in 20 years. None.

My sisters and I just got invited to a wedding of a girl I babysat a few times when I was 12. We haven't even seen her parents in 15 years, and only saw them recently because we attended a funeral they were also at. I am currently buying a shower gift and wedding gift for a girl I would not know if she stood in front of me. Damn
etiquette!

In theory I do not think you should have a shower of you have been living together for years, or if you have been married previously. However, then my friends do it and I find perfectly good reasons to justify it. I need to revise my theory.

Rink08

Where does the age line fall for those who believe age is/should be a factor?

rosesandpetals

I hate wedding/baby showers. I have no problem getting a gift but I just don't like going to them.

I am a huge registry judger. I try not to but... Really, I know this girl who made a huge deal about how her and her FI waited so long to get married and they were so responsible and sounded a lot like Amy#s (kids shouldn't get married, etc). Then she registered for dish towels and an oven mitt. Like $4 dish towels.

MomIn2013

No age limit for showers. If you already have what you need, though (for home or baby), it's grabby to ask for more.

Definitely no age limit for weddings at all - I think getting married deserves a gift. For the first time anyway - after that, it depends on the situation.

magentawarped

CnAmom said:

You know what's weird?

What's weird is when your post-baby BO smells like maple syrup because you're taking fenugreek.

I have that issue too. It grosses me out and makes me hungry at the same time.

Rink08

Direct sales parties are the worst.

Andrewsgal

Rink08 said:

Direct sales parties are the worst.

Nope I would say forcing a 12 year old to kill so he can eat meat is worse than a direct sales party.

Rink08

Andrewsgal said:

Rink08 said:

Direct sales parties are the worst.

Nope I would say forcing a 12 year old to kill so he can eat meat is worse than a direct sales party.

It's not something that I agree with. It's just something that DH believes in which is why I posted it in FFC. As in, this is what I married.

Andrewsgal

MomIn2013 said:

No age limit for showers. If you already have what you need, though (for home or baby), it's grabby to ask for more.

Definitely no age limit for weddings at all - I think getting married deserves a gift. For the first time anyway - after that, it depends on the situation.

So basically 18 year olds are the only people that can have showers in your life. I lived in my first apartment at 19, and had everything I needed. So by your definition I should never have had a shower at 25 when I got married,

spring_time

cjcouple said:

spring_time said:

I think it is gift grabby to invite someone to your wedding who you have had no contact with in 20 years. None.

My sisters and I just got invited to a wedding of a girl I babysat a few times when I was 12. We haven't even seen her parents in 15 years, and only saw them recently because we attended a funeral they were also at. I am currently buying a shower gift and wedding gift for a girl I would not know if she stood in front of me. Damn
etiquette!

In theory I do not think you should have a shower of you have been living together for years, or if you have been married previously. However, then my friends do it and I find perfectly good reasons to justify it. I need to revise my theory.

No way would I go to those.  I would send a nice card with best wishes and a regret 

I am not going, but still need to send a gift... Right? Etiquette (and my mom) say a gift is required.

Andrewsgal

Rink08 said:

Rink08 said:

Direct sales parties are the worst.

Nope I would say forcing a 12 year old to kill so he can eat meat is worse than a direct sales party.

It's not something that I agree with. It's just something that DH believes in which is why I posted it in FFC. As in, this is what I married.

So because you know it is barbaric and ridiculous you are Not going to make your son do it right?

MomIn2013

Andrewsgal said:

MomIn2013 said:

No age limit for showers. If you already have what you need, though (for home or baby), it's grabby to ask for more.

Definitely no age limit for weddings at all - I think getting married deserves a gift. For the first time anyway - after that, it depends on the situation.

So basically 18 year olds are the only people that can have showers in your life. I lived in my first apartment at 19, and had everything I needed. So by your definition I should never have had a shower at 25 when I got married,

I guess there's a difference between you having what you needed to live in your apartment alone, and a couple who's lived together for years who has already purchased everything they need for their home together.

Actually, DH and I didn't move in together until well after we were married, but I still didn't have a shower because I felt that we would have pretty much what we needed once we combined our separate apartments. In my case, it would have felt grabby to me to have a shower. To each their own, though.

I guess one factor is how people view showers. To me, the point is to shower the couple with what they need. I know a lot of people view them as a "celebration" of sorts, so I can see people not wanting to miss out on that. I just happen to feel like that is really secondary, I can celebrate with my mom, grandmother, etc. without having to have someone host a big shower with a bunch of extended family, friends, etc. that will basically come just to drop off their gift.

rosesandpetals

spring_time said:

spring_time said:

I think it is gift grabby to invite someone to your wedding who you have had no contact with in 20 years. None. My sisters and I just got invited to a wedding of a girl I babysat a few times when I was 12. We haven't even seen her parents in 15 years, and only saw them recently because we attended a funeral they were also at. I am currently buying a shower gift and wedding gift for a girl I would not know if she stood in front of me. Damn etiquette! In theory I do not think you should have a shower of you have been living together for years, or if you have been married previously. However, then my friends do it and I find perfectly good reasons to justify it. I need to revise my theory.

No way would I go to those.  I would send a nice card with best wishes and a regret 

I am not going, but still need to send a gift... Right? Etiquette (and my mom) say a gift is required.

I wouldn't send a gift. Just send back the rsvp and maybe mail a card saying congratulations.

notkateanymore

spring_time said:

spring_time said:

I think it is gift grabby to invite someone to your wedding who you have had no contact with in 20 years. None. My sisters and I just got invited to a wedding of a girl I babysat a few times when I was 12. We haven't even seen her parents in 15 years, and only saw them recently because we attended a funeral they were also at. I am currently buying a shower gift and wedding gift for a girl I would not know if she stood in front of me. Damn etiquette! In theory I do not think you should have a shower of you have been living together for years, or if you have been married previously. However, then my friends do it and I find perfectly good reasons to justify it. I need to revise my theory.

No way would I go to those.  I would send a nice card with best wishes and a regret 

I am not going, but still need to send a gift... Right? Etiquette (and my mom) say a gift is required.

I do not think you have to send a gift if you aren't attending.

lexusolsen

I think it's crazy that people spend hundreds of dollars on photo shoots for every special occasion/ holiday throughout the year... Valentine's day, Easter, Christmas, birthday. Holy crap! Buy a camera already!

Rink08

Andrewsgal said:

Rink08 said:

Andrewsgal said:

Rink08 said:

Direct sales parties are the worst.

Nope I would say forcing a 12 year old to kill so he can eat meat is worse than a direct sales party.

It's not something that I agree with. It's just something that DH believes in which is why I posted it in FFC. As in, this is what I married.

So because you know it is barbaric and ridiculous you are Not going to make your son do it right?

I wouldn't and won't make them base their decision of what they eat based on whether or not they hunt but if they WANT to hunt with DH and most of the family, we will be eating whatever they get. Since DH does view it as a survival skill (based very heavily on his childhood), I'm sure that he'd be disappointed if they chose not to ever learn it much as you have stated that you will be if your daughter chooses not to go to college.