:::UO:::

jesslinnn

fireflyrebirth said:

Either killing is wrong or...nope, killing is wrong.

You believe this for every situation?

TheOtherJacobsons

Emerald27 said:

SNIPPED

The immunological benefits of breastmilk are not tailored to your kid's needs if it's pumped milk. And it's about the relationship, not just about the milk. I nurse my 2.5 year old because he hasn't outgrown the need for it. I love the snuggles, the closeness, and he gets the added bonus of the nutrition within my milk that is formulated specifically to meet his unique needs. Breastmilk rocks and doesn't lose it's nutritional value at any arbitrary age:

I didn't know that. I am interested in the scientific reasoning behind that. I can use the Google, but if you happen to know, please share!

TheOtherJacobsons

jcsumm0 said:

It's one thing to say "Extending BFing is not for me."  It's another thing to say something that lots of women here do, something that is normal for many, many parts of the world, something that is biologically normal for human toddlers, is "weird."  IDK maybe I'm just feisty/sensitive today.  That just really rubbed me the wrong way.

It's ok. I have come to the realization that we are not going to be BFFs. I do apologize for being insensitive, however. I changed my wording a bunch and there wasn't another way to express myself.

persephonerose

I know I would kill someone if they threatened my family.   I would not hesitate.

I didn't used to think that way, but once I had my son I knew I would hurt anyone that hurt him.

ETA: perhaps I should have saved that for FFFC .

youngin12

TheOtherJacobsons said:

I can use the Google,

::giggle:: I really don't know why but this made me laugh. I will probably start staying this to people. Ha!

jcsumm0

@TheOtherJacobsons https://www.llli.org/faq/prevention.html

Basically your baby puts the germs that he's been exposed to on your breast while nursing and that signals your body to make antibodies towards those specific illnesses.

Emerald27

fireflyrebirth said:

Doesn't the WHO recommend breastfeeding through age two?

Yes. The WHO recommendation is to nurse for at least the first 2 years of life.

I honestly can't imagine life with a toddler who doesn't nurse. It's an instant cure for bonked heads and bruised knees, helps the toddler fall asleep, calms tantrums, and SLOOWS mom's busy schedule, making her take time to sit and snuggle her busy toddler. It's so valuable!

fireflyrebirth

mel689 said:

fireflyrebirth said:

Either killing is wrong or...nope, killing is wrong.

You believe this for every situation?

Everything but a kill-or-be-killed scenario (immediate self defense (or protection of loved one/s).  I am not sure how I personally would react in such a situation and I'm not going to pretend to guess.

But outside of such situations I firmly believe it is wrong.  I can't understand or agree with an eye for an eye.

Emerald27

TheOtherJacobsons said:

Emerald27 said:

SNIPPED

The immunological benefits of breastmilk are not tailored to your kid's needs if it's pumped milk. And it's about the relationship, not just about the milk. I nurse my 2.5 year old because he hasn't outgrown the need for it. I love the snuggles, the closeness, and he gets the added bonus of the nutrition within my milk that is formulated specifically to meet his unique needs. Breastmilk rocks and doesn't lose it's nutritional value at any arbitrary age:

I didn't know that. I am interested in the scientific reasoning behind that. I can use the Google, but if you happen to know, please share!

--------------------------------------

@TheOtherJacobsons:
Breastmilk contains antibacterial and antiviral properties anyway, BUT your breasts will produce immunological properties to fight specific viruses and infections that are present in your baby. The specific immunological and nutritional needs of YOUR baby are communicated to you via their saliva on your nipple. The milk then produced is specific to his needs.

Pumped milk is awesome! But it's more generic.

jcsumm0

TheOtherJacobsons said:

jcsumm0 said:

It's one thing to say "Extending BFing is not for me."  It's another thing to say something that lots of women here do, something that is normal for many, many parts of the world, something that is biologically normal for human toddlers, is "weird."  IDK maybe I'm just feisty/sensitive today.  That just really rubbed me the wrong way.

It's ok. I have come to the realization that we are not going to be BFFs. I do apologize for being insensitive, however. I changed my wording a bunch and there wasn't another way to express myself.

It's cool, you aren't the only one who said it was weird.  And you aren't in the minority.  I'm sure if you polled a cross-section of Americans, they'd say it was weird too.  And I think that's what bothers me--that so many people find it weird when it is biologically and anthropologically normal.  And a lot of women feel pressure to wean (or don't start BFing in the first place) because of that.

Emerald27

@Nicb13‌ I think the issue is that when someone says that something is "not for me", that doesn't extend any judgment to those who do it. But when someone says something is "odd" or "weird", it suggests that whatever it is is actually not normal, or there's something wrong with it, of even that maybe it shouldn't be done.

If I said emeralds were not for me you wouldn't bat an eye, even if you wear them every day. But if I said "wearing emeralds is weird" you might feel that I disapproved of your wearing them. Make sense?

ETA: If you truly find it "weird," own it. That's your opinion. But I do think that we should try to speak precisely. Either you mean it's just not for you, or you think it's weird (or you aren't sure yet, or you love it if you're Emerald).

Emerald27

Nicb13 said:

Emerald27 said:

fireflyrebirth said:

Doesn't the WHO recommend breastfeeding through age two?

Yes. The WHO recommendation is to nurse for at least the first 2 years of life.

I honestly can't imagine life with a toddler who doesn't nurse. It's an instant cure for bonked heads and bruised knees, helps the toddler fall asleep, calms tantrums, and SLOOWS mom's busy schedule, making her take time to sit and snuggle her busy toddler. It's so valuable!

And I do all that for my toddler but without nursing. I feel just as close to him. Whatever works.

Oh, I know there are many other ways! We're discovering them now, as we're in the weaning process. I just have loved having breastfeeding as an easy way to do all these things, and have many a day felt grateful for the boobs!

MollyC20

SusieBW said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

I have an UO that I have been dreading posting and I am sure that I will get some flack for it. I know that it will offend some women on here, women that I respect and actually like. I am sorry in advance because I am not judging you, I just really don't understand it and I don't think I ever will. With that being said, my UO is that I don't understand extended BFing. Why not pump if you want to continue to provide the nutrients from your milk? It is not because I feel that BFing is in any way a sexual thing, but I do find the idea of BFing a walking talking human weird. I think it is a strange behavior and it creeps me out. I am not even sure why it does, but it does. I have probably felt this way my whole life. My mom didn't even have to wean me. I was something like 1 and I refused the breast. I decided that I was done and that was the end of that. 

Maybe I'll get lucky and the topic of capital punishment will be more interesting than this.

I agree with this too.  To each their own, but somehow I feel like when a kid is old enough to ask for it, they're too old to nurse.  But I only nursed until DD was about 5 months old and that's probably about all I'll do with this baby, too.  I don't mind it, but I certainly didn't love it, and I truly hated pumping.

@theresat858, you said you were glad your friend was still nursing her 18 month old because kids need more than a vegan diet can provide - like what?  I'm not sure any human NEEDS more than a vegan diet can provide, we just like it.  Personally, I often feel like I'd die without cheese, but I know for a fact that's not true.

Haha, I am breastfeeding my 2 yr old -- don't worry no offense!  I am very "to each her own"  With that said here are my reasons for doing it:

 I choose to nurse instead of pump because of how much easier it is to just feed her quickly rather than pumping.  She nurses literally 5 minutes, which I couldn't even clean and assemble the pump in 5 minutes.  I also think it's easier for her to nurse in case something like she gets hurt at the park and wants comfort, or we're at a family event and she wants milk... I don't want to be trapped to using a pump or not being able to give it to her and having her cry.

There are also a LOT of advantages to extended BFing.  Not knocking anyone who doesn't do it -- but just reading Dr. Sears it's beneficial for mom and baby. 

I never thought "oh I'm going to nurse until my baby is x years old" or "I want to do extended BFing", but I am very much about what my child wants/needs (within reason of course), and she's still loving nursing, so as long as her and I are happy with it, I'm OK with that.  I wouldn't be upset if my second child decided to wean at a year, or nurse until he/she is 3 (3 is probably my limit though)...

MrsSinner402

I vote we all take a ballot and elect @Emerald27 the official BMB "Mother". She's so damn sweet and understanding all the time.

jesslinnn

persephonerose said:

I know I would kill someone if they threatened my family.   I would not hesitate.

I didn't used to think that way, but once I had my son I knew I would hurt anyone that hurt him.

ETA: perhaps I should have saved that for FFFC .

Ditto! I surely hope that's not a flameful confession.

fireflyrebirth

Nicb13 said:

Emerald27 said:

Doesn't the WHO recommend breastfeeding through age two?

Yes. The WHO recommendation is to nurse for at least the first 2 years of life. I honestly can't imagine life with a toddler who doesn't nurse. It's an instant cure for bonked heads and bruised knees, helps the toddler fall asleep, calms tantrums, and SLOOWS mom's busy schedule, making her take time to sit and snuggle her busy toddler. It's so valuable!

And I do all that for my toddler but without nursing. I feel just as close to him. Whatever works.

Definitely whatever works is the way to go!  I brought up the WHO recommendation just to point out that longer term BFing is not weird/abnormal at least if you look at the world as a whole and not just the culture in the US.  (And I'm not trying to say anyone here was calling it abnormal, I just get that vibe from our culture in general.)

Having never BF I am telling myself I hope to try to go at least a year and baby and I will play it by ear after that.  Of course it's all very abstract to me at the moment...

dana2die4

I should probably just keep my mouth shut, but having worked in a prison and being married to a homicide/sex crimes detective, I actually think MORE offenders should receive the death penalty. Yep I said it! Flame away!

ETA: typo

jcsumm0

jcsumm0 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

jcsumm0 said:

It's one thing to say "Extending BFing is not for me."  It's another thing to say something that lots of women here do, something that is normal for many, many parts of the world, something that is biologically normal for human toddlers, is "weird."  IDK maybe I'm just feisty/sensitive today.  That just really rubbed me the wrong way.

It's ok. I have come to the realization that we are not going to be BFFs. I do apologize for being insensitive, however. I changed my wording a bunch and there wasn't another way to express myself.

It's cool, you aren't the only one who said it was weird.  And you aren't in the minority.  I'm sure if you polled a cross-section of Americans, they'd say it was weird too.  And I think that's what bothers me--that so many people find it weird when it is biologically and anthropologically normal.  And a lot of women feel pressure to wean (or don't start BFing in the first place) because of that.

@Nicb13 does that clarify what I was feeling a bit for you? 

It's just something I'm really passionate about, but it's all good, I know everyone has their own opinions on the topic.

Emerald27

MrsSinner402 said:

I vote we all take a ballot and elect @Emerald27 the official BMB "Mother". She's so damn sweet and understanding all the time.

8-> you are too sweet!

Emerald27

@Nicb13 I should clarify...I didn't mean that YOU weren't owning it. I just see a lot of backpedaling in general around these parts, and I really think that especially in a UO thread, you should say what you mean and then stand your ground. ...and by "you" I mean people. Not you you. :P

jcsumm0

Nicb13 said:

Emerald27 said:

@Nicb13‌ I think the issue is that when someone says that something is "not for me", that doesn't extend any judgment to those who do it. But when someone says something is "odd" or "weird", it suggests that whatever it is is actually not normal, or there's something wrong with it, of even that maybe it shouldn't be done. If I said emeralds were not for me you wouldn't bat an eye, even if you wear them every day. But if I said "wearing emeralds is weird" you might feel that I disapproved of your wearing them. Make sense? ETA: If you truly find it "weird," own it. That's your opinion. But I do think that we should try to speak precisely. Either you mean it's just not for you, or you think it's weird (or you aren't sure yet, or you love it if you're Emerald).

Oh it makes perfect sense. I couldn't imagine my child nursing or asking for the boob at this age so in MY life, yes, it's weird to me.

I'm not sure how to word it any other way because it's a personal feeling and view. I'm not sorry for feeling this way. I've "owned" my posts regarding this plenty. Come on now.

And WTF people, I'm not the only one throwing around the word "weird" or even "odd". Why don't you get clarification from them or make them "own" it? Be proud of what you do, tell me to fuck off and be done with it.

 

 

 

I know I quoted you but I really was referred to everyone who said it was weird.

Here's the last thing I am going to say and then I really am going to try to shut the hell up.  It's a bit hurtful to me to say that it is weird because breastfeeding is so very personal and emotional to me.  You're talking about the way I cared for my child.  Wouldn't it bother you just a bit if someone said the way you hug your child is "weird"?  Or the routine you do with them before bed is "weird"?  Or whatever special way you have of nurturing your child?

I am honestly not trying to attack you I am just trying to show what got me so riled up. 

SusieBW

Nicb13 said:

Emerald27 said:

@Nicb13‌ I think the issue is that when someone says that something is "not for me", that doesn't extend any judgment to those who do it. But when someone says something is "odd" or "weird", it suggests that whatever it is is actually not normal, or there's something wrong with it, of even that maybe it shouldn't be done. If I said emeralds were not for me you wouldn't bat an eye, even if you wear them every day. But if I said "wearing emeralds is weird" you might feel that I disapproved of your wearing them. Make sense? ETA: If you truly find it "weird," own it. That's your opinion. But I do think that we should try to speak precisely. Either you mean it's just not for you, or you think it's weird (or you aren't sure yet, or you love it if you're Emerald).

Oh it makes perfect sense. I couldn't imagine my child nursing or asking for the boob at this age so in MY life, yes, it's weird to me.

I'm not sure how to word it any other way because it's a personal feeling and view. I'm not sorry for feeling this way. I've "owned" my posts regarding this plenty. Come on now.

And WTF people, I'm not the only one throwing around the word "weird" or even "odd". Why don't you get clarification from them or make them "own" it? Be proud of what you do, tell me to fuck off and be done with it.

Nic, I think you said before that my comment about this was exactly how you felt, and this time, the feeling is mutual.  I couldn't imagine nursing a toddler and that makes it weird for me.  I couldn't imagine my kid strolling up to me in a restaurant and asking for my boob.  I think I'd be a little mortified by that, actually. 

jcsumm0

Nicb13 said:

 

jcsumm0 said:

 

I know I quoted you but I really was referred to everyone who said it was weird.

Here's the last thing I am going to say and then I really am going to try to shut the hell up.  It's a bit hurtful to me to say that it is weird because breastfeeding is so very personal and emotional to me.  You're talking about the way I cared for my child.  Wouldn't it bother you just a bit if someone said the way you hug your child is "weird"?  Or the routine you do with them before bed is "weird"?  Or whatever special way you have of nurturing your child?

I am honestly not trying to attack you I am just trying to show what got me so riled up. 

That really, really puts this all in a totally different light. I actually feel stupid for not seeing it this way and I can admit when I get narrow minded and feel like I'm stuck defending myself so the blaringly obvious slips by.

I'm not even kidding, I have a lump in my throat and feel like I could cry. I'm totally blaming my hormones.

And I'm sorry. I would be totally hurt and upset if someone said that kissing my son on the mouth or rocking him before bed was "weird" at this age.

 

Now *I'm* going to cry!  Let's hug it out....

lrobi13

 

Nicb13 said:

 

jcsumm0 said:

 

I know I quoted you but I really was referred to everyone who said it was weird.

Here's the last thing I am going to say and then I really am going to try to shut the hell up.  It's a bit hurtful to me to say that it is weird because breastfeeding is so very personal and emotional to me.  You're talking about the way I cared for my child.  Wouldn't it bother you just a bit if someone said the way you hug your child is "weird"?  Or the routine you do with them before bed is "weird"?  Or whatever special way you have of nurturing your child?

I am honestly not trying to attack you I am just trying to show what got me so riled up. 

That really, really puts this all in a totally different light. I actually feel stupid for not seeing it this way and I can admit when I get narrow minded and feel like I'm stuck defending myself so the blaringly obvious slips by.

I'm not even kidding, I have a lump in my throat and feel like I could cry. I'm totally blaming my hormones.

And I'm sorry. I would be totally hurt and upset if someone said that kissing my son on the mouth or rocking him before bed was "weird" at this age.

 

Who knew that UO would give me the warm and fuzzies!  This is the reason why it should be ok to debate issues because sometimes it does lead to very thoughtful insight!  Love tits for all!

SusieBW

jcsumm0 said:

Here's the last thing I am going to say and then I really am going to try to shut the hell up.  It's a bit hurtful to me to say that it is weird because breastfeeding is so very personal and emotional to me.  You're talking about the way I cared for my child.  Wouldn't it bother you just a bit if someone said the way you hug your child is "weird"?  Or the routine you do with them before bed is "weird"?  Or whatever special way you have of nurturing your child?

I'm sorry that you were hurt, and I know that my comments were among those to use the words weird or odd.  I honestly meant no offense.

That said, it wouldn't bother me in the least if someone said that the way I cared for my child was weird.  I do what works for me, and you do what works for you, and I don't really care what other people think of my ways.

RachelLily

I can't stand when people refer to their newborn or infant as a champ. "She nurses like a champ." "He slept through the night like a champ since the day he was born." Sorry but that doesn't make them a champion or any better than any other baby. I feel like that is just the start of the mompetitions and thinking your kid is better than all others.

SusieBW

You guys, this was fun.  I had a fun afternoon.  Now it's time for me to leave work, so I'm out.  I hope tomorrow's FFFC provides as much quality procrastination material as this.  Good work, everyone!

jcsumm0

Gah my gif doesn't work.

LightBright515

TicketTuesday said:

Regarding whoever said that murderers have family too (and therefore should not be executed to save that family from pain) I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that having a family member who murdered someone causes infinitely more pain than losing said murderous family member to execution. That person already caused more pain to their family by committing a heinous crime than anything else could possibly do. I'm sorry they caused that kind of pain and trauma to their own family, but don't for one second blame anyone else, including the government, for those consequences. They screwed both whomever they murdered's family and their own family. So screw them. Clearly I'm in a very loving mood right now...

Whoa, me pointing out that murderers have families too wasn't me trying to say they shouldn't be punished. I'm just offering another view.

Emerald27

Nicb13 said:

I should save my judgments for things that really matter like not returning shopping carts to the cart return.

This really grinds my gears. And there are like 3 race car carts at Wegmans, and they're ALWAYS all taken.

Also, I can't stand that on rainy days, all the carts are wet.

Emerald27

I wish I had a good UO. I never do, and they're always food related. :P

lrobi13

@RachelLilly@ Is it ok if I say that I slept like a champ?  (I haven't in quite some time but I used to

)

TheOtherJacobsons

I go to lunch and you all are having a group hug. I want one!

persephonerose

I think all parents should be familiar with the CDC milestone chart.  It drives me nuts to talk to a parent who has no clue about their child's developmental stages.

jesslinnn

Nicb13 said:

I should save my judgments for things that really matter like not returning shopping carts to the cart return.

Oh hell yes! Lazy assholes. 

duckr

theresat858 said:

persephonerose said:

I think all parents should be familiar with the CDC milestone chart.  It drives me nuts to talk to a parent who has no clue about their child's developmental stages.

::runs off to google CDC milestone chart::

I did this too Now I know!!

imagine7696030614

noonandj04 said:

When I see debates like this, I always wonder what tune the people who are against capital punishment would be singing if it were their own young child who was brutally raped/tortured/murdered by one of these criminals. Would they be feeling so righteous then? Of course, I hope we never get a chance to find out. It's just easy to say "Think of the criminal's family!" when you are not one of the poor victim's family who is going through unspeakable suffering due to the choices and actions of said criminal.

This is basically my argument for why I am pro capital punishment. The thought of someone intentionally hurting my child like that puts me over the edge and the only justice in my eyes would be death for the perpetrator. Extremely violent and sadistic people rarely can be rehabilitated anyway so I think that death is preferable to their enjoying food, tv, and sometimes, free sex reassignment surgeries in prison. I do think that evidence has to be irrefutable (sp?) to hand down the death sentence though. I'm talking solid DNA evidence, eye witnesses, etc. The fact there have been innocent people executed is terrifying but I think the advances in DNA technology should really minimize this.

pinkshades05

On the topic of extended breastfeeding, there is newer research that links the longer your breastfeed your first child, your chances of getting breast cancer are greatly reduced. Makes me feel better about nursing Nat closer to 2 years (we stopped at 21 months). I wish I could find that research article, but I think it's one you have to pay to have access to.

Emerald27

pinkshades05 said:

On the topic of extended breastfeeding, there is newer research that links the longer your breastfeed your first child, your chances of getting breast cancer are greatly reduced. Makes me feel better about nursing Nat closer to 2 years (we stopped at 21 months). I wish I could find that research article, but I think it's one you have to pay to have access to.

The last number I remember reading was that mothers who breastfeed a minimum of 18 months (total, so not necessarily 1 kid) have a 33% reduced risk of breast cancer. That may be old info, though. Time to check my numbers.

ohioloveyou

My UO is that I looked at most of this thread, thought tl;dr and moved on.  I'm sure some lovely insights were made, but I just did not have time today.