Pregnancy brain...when it's not funny anymore

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missquela said:

you guys are cracking me up.

I'm in a virtual training class today and got called on to read, then forgot how to read. I work in finance and I couldn't remember how to read dollar amounts...so I read $16,781.43 as "Sixteen hundred, seven hundred eighty one and forty three dollars." I got a lot of "LOL"s from my considerate classmates who can't see the bump.

I just laughed way too hard at this. Tried to read it to DH and could barely get it out!

Ylvelill

Salsera29 said:

Ylvelill said:

TallMomma29 said:

@Ylvelill, I don't have a post-it, but I have noticed you have a tendency to write things in a way that make you sound douchey and sanctimommy.  If you are just generally a sarcastic person, you need to start working some winks into your statements to make the sarcasm more clear, because clearly a lot of the ladies here aren't sensing the sarcasm.  

Yeah, it is a problem I have, even out here irl. Plus a terrible tendency to want to stir the pot. I will work harder at my winking, thank you

Exactly. I suspected you were just responding to my "dare," but there were no indications you were being sarcastic and then you didn't come back...so this happened.

--------------------
Yeah that's totally my fault, I accept that.

@BoraBoraBaby‌
I appreciate you giving me the benefit of the doubt! I wasn't really excepting anyone to flip their lid over what I said I was totally just poking at the dare because I am like 12 and can't resist! It's a terrible character flaw I admit.

1982Babies

Kbelle24 said:

My biggest problem lately is my ability to speak.  I just can't articulate in full complete sentences anymore. 

I had this problem pre-pregnancy, but it's gotten way worse. I mainly make grunting noises when trying to talk to DH, and words that I do attempt come out as grumbles. Pre-pregnancy word mix-ups are still happening, for example "vacuuming the lawn" and "putting the pants in the dishwasher", instead of their respective appliances.... but now it would be more like "I need crackers" and DH would ask where and I would reply something like "grrrosnnoorr" (apparently, that means cupboard).

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BoraBoraBaby

@Ylvelill‌ lots of us act like we're 12. Use of sarcasm is totally fine and as one bumpie said in another thread, it's used far too infrequently on our board. But until people know that about you, it'd be helpful to add winks, gifs, something that shows a bit more of what you're really saying, otherwise it looks like you're being sarcastic towards us instead of with us. Nawmsayin?

yurmom

@BoraBoraBaby, you're killing me.  As others have mentioned she's posted multiple times things that are santcimommious or just douchey.  She's not funny, she's not sarcastic, she's just obnoxious. No amount of emoticons or gifs will help.

BoraBoraBaby

dlsexton said:

@BoraBoraBaby, you're killing me.  As others have mentioned she's posted multiple times things that are santcimommious or just douchey.  She's not funny, she's not sarcastic, she's just obnoxious. No amount of emoticons or gifs will help.

Sorry but there is no situation that a pic of a naked Adam Levine with my hands covering his junk can't help. Too bad I suck and can't post it from my phone. Just imagine it though.

BoraBoraBaby

@LiteraChick‌ is a crazy mo-fo! Girl has given me a noogie. She's the real deal, folks.

Palan

JEChester said:

I am running "borderline" red lights & keep forgetting to turn my headlights on at night, I'm like a sober drunk driver

Doing this all the time, it's like I can't be bothered stopping for a red light.

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jensavicci

So just to follow up......it was in fact douchey sarcasm. Gotcha.

No but seriously, I always thought there was something a little funky about yvellwhateverthefuckherSNis.

drunkenhandstand

LiteraChick said:

Ylvelill said:

Aww at least someone went and looked up other posts, I feel special. Yeah bed rest is boring however being in the hospital does not mean you have control of all your time. But since I apparently had already made my way onto some postits it is kinda pointless for me to continue to explain.

Your blasè attitude has been noted in the past and it's definitely not winning you any points now. I know you think you are being the bigger person and refraining from GBCB but really, you are just boring as fuck and coming off like a douchecanoe.

Good luck with your twins but don't expect a ton of support from women you obviously look down your sanctimonious nose at.

Edit: P.S. That is only my opinion. I won't speak for anyone else.

That's my labor buddy ^^ :::proud mama:::

Cristy1020

How's this one for you all. DH was away for work for a week an usually
Leaves his truck at My fathers house (our driveway is small)so we only use my car when he's home. He came home yesterday with his truck. I had to take DD to a doc apt an I was running
Late. I started the car, backed up as I normally do. SHIT. I just hit his truck. Dented the whole side, an now my gate to my car won't shut properly. "Didn't you see me parked behind you". DH tells me. Apparently not. Sorry I forgot. Oops. Try explaining this one to your insurance company. #-o

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TallMomma29

Bliss+Berry said:

I was shopping yesterday and handed my cell phone to the cashier instead of my debit card.  She looked at me like I was crazy. 

Last week I took a shower in my underwear.  It was like a full 3 minutes before I realized something was not right.

I keep doing various versions of this... handing a hotel room key to the TSA agent at the airport instead of my ID, handing an admission ticket to sea world to a parking lot cashier instead of my ticket from the parking garage, trying to swipe my ID instead of my credit card... basically I have a problem distinguishing cards or tickets of any kind lately.

LOL @ showering in your underwear!

mamatomp

I started the washing machine and washed a load... Of nothing. That's right, I put no clothes in. Just detergent. When it started beeping to tell me it was done, I was SO confused when I opened it to find that it was empty. Oops.

BoraBoraBaby

Had to leave urine specimen at prenatal checkup today. Started to walk out then realized I forgot to flush. Come on.

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Salsera29

LiteraChick said:

BoraBoraBaby said:

Had to leave urine specimen at prenatal checkup today. Started to walk out then realized I forgot to flush. Come on.

I'm so terrified I will poo and forget to flush and DH will see it. I've kept that nugget from him for 9 years and I'm not about to break that streak now.

Snort. Nugget.

I wonder what MY husband's excuse is because that's what I came home to yesterday! I so love all these stories!

jensavicci

I'm not quite at the level of most of you guys but, I forget my kid's names every day, lose my keys in my hands and walk into rooms completely forgetting why within seconds of entering.

TexasGirl81

Today a resident came in to pay May's rent. Then he asked me to write him up a receipt for the check. After I was done, I gave him his rent check back and said thank you! I put the receipt in my bank money zipper bag and he was like. Oh, ummmm you have it backwards. I was like "what?" Then he showed me his rent check, and I was like "oh my goodness". He just laughed and said "I have no problem taking my rent check back" LOL!! :-B

SuperTinkerham

I can't explain how to reorient pages in Word between portrait and landscape. I seriously do this ALL the time, and teach classes in Word and PowerPoint.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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abchittam

Cristy1020 said:

How's this one for you all. DH was away for work for a week an usually
Leaves his truck at My fathers house (our driveway is small)so we only use my car when he's home. He came home yesterday with his truck. I had to take DD to a doc apt an I was running
Late. I started the car, backed up as I normally do. SHIT. I just hit his truck. Dented the whole side, an now my gate to my car won't shut properly. "Didn't you see me parked behind you". DH tells me. Apparently not. Sorry I forgot. Oops. Try explaining this one to your insurance company. #-o

I backed into the garage door while pregnant with DS. Just forgot to open it.

JMSbaby2014

Today I had to do a presentation for work and the owner of the company I was presenting to had to sign a document acknowledging He understood everything in the presentation. In the letter/document I typed in who was in attendance, including my own name. I hand him the letter and he says "who's jerry?" Yeah.... My name is not jerry... Wtf was that about I have no idea...

corth830

I used to think it was fake too, there was this girl that I worked with that used to mess stuff up all the time when she was pregnant and we would all get so mad when we had to work with her and now I feel bad cuz I totally told someone my name the other day using my maiden name lol DH was like WTF?!?! I also sometimes have to ask him the same question multiple times before I actually get the answer it's like my brain won't accept that information! I've also got quite a bit of clumsiness going on which is not me at all, DH is super clumsy so it's bad when I drop more stuff than him!!

AMcLaws

Today at work, I typed in the incorrect cash amount while finishing a transaction. I had to grab a calculator to figure out his change, because I just COULD NOT figure it out in my head.


His change...?


$.02

SuperTinkerham

One of my staff said she bought $200 worth of groceries when she was pregnant, and paid for them. Left all the groceries at the store, and went home and took a nap. Woke up and realized she had left all the groceries at the store.

cookieinva

In the middle of the night last night when I got up to pee one time, I could not get out of my bedroom. I had to turn on a light to find the door.

katnipeverclean

I keep calling DD Peyton. DD's name is Evie. My youngest mini schnauzer's name is Peyton. I've been calling Peyton Leisl which was the name of my parents' mini schnauzer who died in 2010. I've also been running into everything. What do you mean that wall has been there ever since we've lived in this house?

EDIT: words are hard, yo.

Hadynimogen

Aww me im really struggling with this, i keep finding keys in the freezer, milk in the pantry etc.  I forget appointment, to pay bills. its shocking. 

darkangel42

I've always been a bit of a ditz but it's got so much worse lately - plus I'm tired so my brain is mush.

My OH had a brain injury a few years ago and hasn't been quite right since so between us, we're a right pair.

The other day, I was sat on the bed using my laptop when he shouted up to see if I could bring him the lasagna he left on the bed. I picked up the book at the side of me and brought him it then he left... much to the confusion of his mother who heard him say lasagna and saw me give him a book. He meant book and I heard book even though we all have a clear memory of him saying lasagna. At least we make sense to each other.

Trying to tell the OH which button he needed to press on the controller, words completely failed and after saying every word BUT the one that meant that button, I just pointed at it instead.

Still can't remember what I wanted from Rite-aid (decided I wanted something a month ago) and its bugging the whole family because there was definitely something - I said specifically that I needed to go to Rite-aid but didn't say what for.

I'm allergic to cat hair but have a cat so take allergy tablets. Got confused and tried to give the tablet to the cat who wasn't impressed.

Got in my car (smart-key entry, push button start so having the key NEAR the car opens and starts it), put my bag down, couldn't remember where I'd left my keys. Left my bag in the car and ransacked the house looking for the key. The key was in my bag, obviously, or I wouldn't have been able to get in the car in the first place.

Been calling my OH Danny for days. His name is nothing like Danny. 

Frequently use the wrong word. Thankfully, OH's brain injury means he responds as though I used the right one. Everyone else just looks at me funny.

Trying to write something on my shopping list, I had the pen to the paper, knew what I wanted and could say the word but couldn't remember how to write it.

Had a shower, got out, realised the shampoo was still in my hair and had to get back in.

The number of things I put in the fridge is shocking. Keys, spoons, glasses, phone, sugar jar, oven-mitt that had just come out the wash...

I keep losing drinks because I'll pour it, take it with me then put it down while I do something and forget to take it with me again so there are half-finished coffees and glasses of water all over the house.

This is just recent ones. I'm a danger to myself and others.

Pinksundrops

corth830 said:

I used to think it was fake too, there was this girl that I worked with that used to mess stuff up all the time when she was pregnant and we would all get so mad when we had to work with her and now I feel bad cuz I totally told someone my name the other day using my maiden name lol DH was like WTF?!?! I also sometimes have to ask him the same question multiple times before I actually get the answer it's like my brain won't accept that information! I've also got quite a bit of clumsiness going on which is not me at all, DH is super clumsy so it's bad when I drop more stuff than him!!

Ended up in tears after my fourteen year old got so frustrated with me asking him the same question umpteen times because I simply didn't remember I asked him before or what he answered. I've resorted to having him, my DH, and 13 year old DS write down answers to important things so at least they can remind me to reference the email or text rather than repeat themselves a hundred times over.

bewilderingstar

I've asked my husband a question, he'll answer it then I'll ask again 2mins later.

I put a tub of ice cream in the cupboard... It was a complete mess and I cried for the loss of my yummy treat.

chrinikki1

Ahhhh filling out paperwork and I cannot remember how old I am.

darkangel42

Remembered MIL's birthday this morning while at the store (convenient, right?), got her a card and flowers, got back in the car, fastened belt...nothing.

I'd forgotten how to drive so just sat staring in confusion at the steering wheel for ages. I was moments away from calling the OH to come get me when I remembered how the car works. I shouldn't be let out unsupervised.

Hadynimogen

We were at a poultry sale at the weekend it was very crowded i went off to get a biding card as hubby wanted to bid on a few of the lots and he went to see them.  So i was walking back up through the lots thinking wowzer that guys is really handsome and he is staring and smiling at me in that way that kinda make you giddly

yip it was my husband, apparently i went all pink too hehe

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Hadynimogen said:

We were at a poultry sale at the weekend it was very crowded i went off to get a biding card as hubby wanted to bid on a few of the lots and he went to see them.  So i was walking back up through the lots thinking wowzer that guys is really handsome and he is staring and smiling at me in that way that kinda make you giddly

yip it was my husband, apparently i went all pink too hehe

That is adorable! Reminds me of the video of the guy who woke up from surgery and didn't remember his wife but kept going on and on about how beautiful she was and that her husband was so lucky.