She stole from you and stuck around and lied about it. If you really think she'll care if there's a dozen pages flaming her or a dozen pages arguing about "petty" old drama, you're a fool.
She knew what she did was wrong. You've outed her so hopefully no one will trust her now and hopefully people will be cautious donating online inthe future. But you're not going to make her feel bad by flaming the shit out of her and keeping this thread on topic.
She hid this for months, right? Even when you asked questions? Yeah, she's not going to feel guilty and realize she's a bad person. Discussing past drama isn't taking away from shaming her.
First of all, I don't feel the need to apologize to Renon, if others do, then they can apologize to her on their own accord, and by whichever means they deem necessary (PM, new post, etc.), not when others demand.
So glad this is the hill you choose to die on, as opposed to the real situation.
The real situation is that you all put an internet stranger (and obviously a terrible person) on a pedestal, venerated and above reproach, and flamed some chick for calling her out. And now you (global you) are eating your words and have egg on your faces.
The single victim in all of this is the loss mom. Sorry, but to an impartial third party, this is absolutely how this all comes off.
And I can totally agree that we put her on a pedestal and are now eating crow, but coming in here demanding an apology and detracting from the real issue is counterproductive.
So it's impossible to apologize for being shitty while also continuing to deal with the issue at hand. Right. Because it's impossible to start another thread. Because nobody ever posts in multiple threads at the same time. Whatever. It's not counterproductive to own up to being shitty to that girl and taking responsibility for it. That's called MATURITY.
El oh fucking el at Parenting throwing around the word "sheepish" while all agreeing that theft from a loss mom is "meh, whatevs" and flaming a stranger talking out of her ass is a mortal sin. I'm done today. Have fun dissecting meaningless drama and burying your head in the sand to a disgusting criminal act.
Since you put "meh, whatevs" in quotes, I assume you can show where someone from parenting said that. @Empireceo
First, I want to say that this whole thing sucks. It sucks most for the loss momma, but it sucks for everyone - those who donated, who forged a friendship with assbear and for anyone who ever looks to do something nice in the name of another bumpie.
It's sad and disgusting that people would look at others misfortunes for gain and it scares me that my son will grow up in a world where people could be so terrible.
Now I want to call out something in regards to the glider thread - for everyone preaching karma - more specifically the poor shaming, pedestal pushing lot - wouldn't it be fair now to say karma IS a bitch. And possibly that when you treat people shitty, shitty things might happen back to you?
It's hurtful and embarrassing that this has happened on TB, but to some extent I have to say @HilarityEnsued is right in saying that this culture was created you. Even if it was my BMB and a regular posted something full of asshattery, they would be called on it the same way a newbie or a drive by would. Sometimes worse.
I really do hope that the B'S can permanently remove this bitch. I also hope one of you is friends with her on FB and publicly shame the fuck out of her.
“Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.” — The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
OMFG who are you @MrsBadKat and @HilarityEnsued! If you don't have anything nice to say.... well, wait, what would this BMB do? Say it over and over again? Insult poor people? Ask if you even go here after being invited to go here?
Guess what? May mom here, and I'm pretty fucking sick of the implication that because of what one or two angry people thoughtlessly said, that the culture of our BMB is insulting poor people, "do you even go here"...etc. Pretty insulting generalisation that YOU'RE making.
No, no one on this board is perfect. I didn't agree with the rocker thread so didn't contribute, however I would rather be one of the meanies who defended a friend even if I turn out to be wrong, and especially wish that I could take credit for being involved enough to try to commemorate the loss of one of our beloved May babies. (Because the women who you're calling out right now are pretty amazing, thoughtful people as a whole)
Pretty sure that you and to your forums of choice have participated in some undeserved flamings as well, (this is the Bump, every board has 'em) however the attacks that you are making right now are entirely devoted to shit stirring.
Also, *general note* seriously people, if you're going to weigh in about how heinous it is that those involved in trying to get that money back "aren't going to press charges", please read the whole damn thread and see the reasoning expressed by these ladies.
Holy shit, I cannot believe you people. You seriously still think you were in the right in that glider thread? You seriously don't think you owe that girl an apology?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Who are you?!? This is NOT about an apology over the glider post. There are bigger issues at hand here. If you want to focus on a post so small compared to something so large go start your own thread about it and get yor panties in a twist elsewhere.
It was YOUR board that posted all this drama on the other boards. You all wanted people involved and you got what you asked for! Unfortunately it also called attention to some of the shit you all would probably like to pretend didn't happen. Too bad! Why don't you untwist your OWN panties and quit glossing over the truth?? What was such a 'small post' to you was probably a much bigger deal to the girl you flamed. And you, and anyone else acting shitty like it was NBD and doesn't matter, makes you an asshole. it IS completely relevant to the whole situation.
Whoa. Step back with the name calling, sweetheart. If you go back and re-read the glider post you would notice that I didn't even participate in that joke of a thread. Like I originally said, I thought ErBear was shady from the start. We didn't go spewing this all over other boards for drama. This needed to be made public for the grieving mother and for those who donated and thought that there $$ went to a good cause. WHO KNOWS WHERE THE $$ WENT?! I'll say it again... This thread was not posted to apologize about the glider post, but to the loss mother and all involved. It's a very sad situation and I'm disgusted by it. If you're looking for an apology for something so caddy please start a new thread where you can amuse yourself elsewhere.
M14: Hey, Parenting, come join in on this drama filled thread on our BMB.
Parenting: Dude, that fucking sucks that the bitch stole the money, especially for the loss mom, but y'all need to apologize to this mom for flaming her for being poor when she was the only person in that thread with a backbone.
I am not going to touch on the petty drama that's taken over this thread. I would like to say that this makes me incredibly sad.
@ErBear1010, You stole from a grieving mom who just lost her son. You stole from women who gave money to help her out. I'm willing to bet some of them didn't have a ton of money to give in the first place and were borrowing from a budget to donate. Not all of us saved up to have a kid, some of us have surprise pregnancies, and every paycheck in the nine months of pregnancy goes toward making sure the baby has everything it needs when it arrives.
I hope you are ashamed of yourself. I hope you get called out in real life and exposed--if I still lived in your area I'd definitely make sure everyone knew what you've done. It's deplorable.
P.S. I told my H what happened and he said @ErBear1010 sounds "like a stupid whore that should be thrown in a male prison for a week." Which I guess is pretty accurate.
Not going to chime in with my opinion because it's already been stated ad nauseum, ad infinitum, but I am SO sorry for this horrible event. For all we know, the thief is really a 75 year old man who isn't pregnant and doesn't have any children and goes around making up identities and doing this to people. The internet is scary.
The internet is also FOREVER, and even if you don't want to go to the press out of respect for the grieving mom, let me introduce you to a website called www.GetOffMyInternets.com where they routinely expose scam bloggers and other internet frauds. I believe legal action has come out of some of the stuff they've exposed in the past.
Yours to do what you want with, but just thought I'd put it out there.
I hope that you all (WE all, all over TB), can learn from this and find ways to still help our loss moms without risk. Most charities will work wtih you to figure out ways to handle group donations, or if credit cards are used, payments can be stopped in cases of fraud. I would hate to see "the good guys lose" but also hope we can all be smarter about trusting "strangers" especially where money is concerned.
Hang in there everybody.
To the original loss mom - I am so sorry for your loss.
Ok, lurkers are right. While we've all seen posters called much worse for much less, shaming someone for a lack of money is heinous. While I didn't comment directly to the OP (bitchface ERbear) or to Rhen, or comment on what was said, I did comment in the thread and feel badly about it. I have messaged and apologized to Rhen. I know it's a too little, too late situation.
But do you know what I feel FAR worse about? That a mod, whether a poster of a couple crappy threads or not, took it upon herself to "earn" the trust of others and stab them in the back by stealing money graciously donated to a fellow May mom who very tragically lost her son. I feel FAR worse that she is, in light of this theft, STILL a mod and still a member of this community. We reached out in love and support, and she ruined it.
This hurts so much because there are so many of us that gave support having known the pain and agony of loss ourselves. We've seen PGAL and TTCAL and the loss boards come together before to do amazing and kind things for those in situations like this. And now all future attempts at doing so are ruined. It's sad, terrible not just for the mom for whom we gave, but for all moms that have lost in the past, and those to whom we would have given. The fact that anyone could steal from a mother who has lost their child is despicable and wretched in a way that very few things are.
I am in tears for this mom. I am in tears for the other loss moms that have seen this act unfold. I am in tears for those who gave in love and support and were betrayed. How dare she?!!?!?!
I know she probably won't care, feel sorry, or apologize. I know she won't make it right. I know shaming her here will only do so much, BUT it's the least we can do. She SHOULD be removed as mod. She SHOULD be removed from a member of this community. And it SHOULD be done right now.
So then, if you aren't going to press charges or go to the media, what do you want? For her to come back and say she's sorry, so you can call her white trash and post a some Ecard for another 10 pages?
For her to be removed as a mod. The process was dragging on too long through our original removal route.
So then, if you aren't going to press charges or go to the media, what do you want? For her to come back and say she's sorry, so you can call her white trash and post a some Ecard for another 10 pages?
For her to be removed as a mod. The process was dragging on too long through our original removal route.
Pretty sure I speak for all of Parenting when I say that we agree she needs her mod powers revoked, at the VERY least.
P.S. I told my H what happened and he said @ErBear1010 sounds "like a stupid whore that should be thrown in a male prison for a week." Which I guess is pretty accurate.
So rape is now an acceptable form of punishment these days? Fan-fucking-tastic. I wouldn't actually wish that on anyone. What the actual fuck is wrong with you people?
As they throw around the term Karma like a snowball.
“Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.” — The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Holy shit, I cannot believe you people. You seriously still think you were in the right in that glider thread? You seriously don't think you owe that girl an apology?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Who are you?!? This is NOT about an apology over the glider post. There are bigger issues at hand here. If you want to focus on a post so small compared to something so large go start your own thread about it and get yor panties in a twist elsewhere.
It was YOUR board that posted all this drama on the other boards. You all wanted people involved and you got what you asked for! Unfortunately it also called attention to some of the shit you all would probably like to pretend didn't happen. Too bad! Why don't you untwist your OWN panties and quit glossing over the truth?? What was such a 'small post' to you was probably a much bigger deal to the girl you flamed. And you, and anyone else acting shitty like it was NBD and doesn't matter, makes you an asshole. it IS completely relevant to the whole situation.
Whoa. Step back with the name calling, sweetheart. If you go back and re-read the glider post you would notice that I didn't even participate in that joke of a thread. Like I originally said, I thought ErBear was shady from the start. We didn't go spewing this all over other boards for drama. This needed to be made public for the grieving mother and for those who donated and thought that there $$ went to a good cause. WHO KNOWS WHERE THE $$ WENT?! I'll say it again... This thread was not posted to apologize about the glider post, but to the loss mother and all involved. It's a very sad situation and I'm disgusted by it. If you're looking for an apology for something so caddy please start a new thread where you can amuse yourself elsewhere.
Not going to reread that ridiculous glider thread, sorrynotsorry. If YOU reread MY post, I was talking about the 'collective' you, not ONLY you, and I didn't say you participated in the thread, I said it was shitty that you (again, collective you, not just you personally) were acting like the uncalled for flaming was NO BIG DEAL. I didn't call you any names. I pointed out that the BEHAVIOR was shitty. Because, IT WAS.
Yeah, the flaming on the glider thread WAS 'catty' (i'm sure that's what you meant instead of 'caddy', right?) so I'm glad you admit that! In which case why don't YOU start a new thread to apologize. If you can't see why people are bringing up the glider thread in this thread ( because it is, in fact, totally relevant) than perhaps you should go back and reread, well, pretty much EVERYTHING.
1) we posted to parenting. We get what we get, end of story.
2) if anyone apologized now, it would be said that the apology only happened because we were shamed into it. That's happened a dozen times before. No point. No winning.
3) who should we apologize to? Someone who hasn't been on TB since January and will never see said apology? Again, no point.
4) I'm not entirely sorry. I made one slightly shitty comment, but never said anything about her ability to purchase or not purchase a crib. Should we go back in the bowels of TB and apologize to everyone who has ever received a less than deserved flaming? Don't pretend you (general you) have never participated in such an action.
5) I would defend a "friend" against a random trying to flame her again. Even if it happened today, because the culture of friendship is what I cultivate, not "clique" mentality, as it has been said. And if she were, in fact, being a douce (as Erin definitely was), I'd tell her so in private. I'm not in the business of publicly calling out my friends. That doesn't mean I don't expect them to check themselves (or vice versa).
Re: A Very Special Thursday Night Confession
She knew what she did was wrong. You've outed her so hopefully no one will trust her now and hopefully people will be cautious donating online inthe future. But you're not going to make her feel bad by flaming the shit out of her and keeping this thread on topic.
She hid this for months, right? Even when you asked questions? Yeah, she's not going to feel guilty and realize she's a bad person. Discussing past drama isn't taking away from shaming her.
It's sad and disgusting that people would look at others misfortunes for gain and it scares me that my son will grow up in a world where people could be so terrible.
Now I want to call out something in regards to the glider thread - for everyone preaching karma - more specifically the poor shaming, pedestal pushing lot - wouldn't it be fair now to say karma IS a bitch. And possibly that when you treat people shitty, shitty things might happen back to you?
It's hurtful and embarrassing that this has happened on TB, but to some extent I have to say @HilarityEnsued is right in saying that this culture was created you. Even if it was my BMB and a regular posted something full of asshattery, they would be called on it the same way a newbie or a drive by would. Sometimes worse.
I really do hope that the B'S can permanently remove this bitch. I also hope one of you is friends with her on FB and publicly shame the fuck out of her.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Pretty insulting generalisation that YOU'RE making.
No, no one on this board is perfect. I didn't agree with the rocker thread so didn't contribute, however I would rather be one of the meanies who defended a friend even if I turn out to be wrong, and especially wish that I could take credit for being involved enough to try to commemorate the loss of one of our beloved May babies.
(Because the women who you're calling out right now are pretty amazing, thoughtful people as a whole)
Pretty sure that you and to your forums of choice have participated in some undeserved flamings as well, (this is the Bump, every board has 'em) however the attacks that you are making right now are entirely devoted to shit stirring.
Also, *general note* seriously people, if you're going to weigh in about how heinous it is that those involved in trying to get that money back "aren't going to press charges", please read the whole damn thread and see the reasoning expressed by these ladies.
Whoa. Step back with the name calling, sweetheart. If you go back and re-read the glider post you would notice that I didn't even participate in that joke of a thread. Like I originally said, I thought ErBear was shady from the start. We didn't go spewing this all over other boards for drama. This needed to be made public for the grieving mother and for those who donated and thought that there $$ went to a good cause. WHO KNOWS WHERE THE $$ WENT?! I'll say it again... This thread was not posted to apologize about the glider post, but to the loss mother and all involved. It's a very sad situation and I'm disgusted by it. If you're looking for an apology for something so caddy please start a new thread where you can amuse yourself elsewhere.
The internet is also FOREVER, and even if you don't want to go to the press out of respect for the grieving mom, let me introduce you to a website called www.GetOffMyInternets.com where they routinely expose scam bloggers and other internet frauds. I believe legal action has come out of some of the stuff they've exposed in the past.
But do you know what I feel FAR worse about? That a mod, whether a poster of a couple crappy threads or not, took it upon herself to "earn" the trust of others and stab them in the back by stealing money graciously donated to a fellow May mom who very tragically lost her son. I feel FAR worse that she is, in light of this theft, STILL a mod and still a member of this community. We reached out in love and support, and she ruined it.
This hurts so much because there are so many of us that gave support having known the pain and agony of loss ourselves. We've seen PGAL and TTCAL and the loss boards come together before to do amazing and kind things for those in situations like this. And now all future attempts at doing so are ruined. It's sad, terrible not just for the mom for whom we gave, but for all moms that have lost in the past, and those to whom we would have given. The fact that anyone could steal from a mother who has lost their child is despicable and wretched in a way that very few things are.
I am in tears for this mom. I am in tears for the other loss moms that have seen this act unfold. I am in tears for those who gave in love and support and were betrayed. How dare she?!!?!?!
I know she probably won't care, feel sorry, or apologize. I know she won't make it right. I know shaming her here will only do so much, BUT it's the least we can do. She SHOULD be removed as mod. She SHOULD be removed from a member of this community. And it SHOULD be done right now.
DD born 2/3/03
BFP 3/21/13 w/ EDD 12/02/13, C/P 3/29/13.
BFP 9/18/13 w/ EDD 5/26/14,
Beta #1 @ 14-16dpo = 375, progesterone 33.6
Beta #2 @ 20-22 dpo = 8,782!
Beta #3 @ 27-29dpo = 44,230, dx subchorionic hemorrhage/ threatened mc
Beta #4 @ 29-31dpo = 72, 080
Grow, little one, grow!
***** All AL Welcome *****
What did your H mean by that? What exactly does he want to have happen to her when she is thrown into a male prison for a week?
Holy shit. Your comment is a special brand of horrifying. What.the.fuck.
As they throw around the term Karma like a snowball.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Thank you. Middle of the night reading fail.
Yeah, the flaming on the glider thread WAS 'catty' (i'm sure that's what you meant instead of 'caddy', right?) so I'm glad you admit that! In which case why don't YOU start a new thread to apologize. If you can't see why people are bringing up the glider thread in this thread ( because it is, in fact, totally relevant) than perhaps you should go back and reread, well, pretty much EVERYTHING.
1) we posted to parenting. We get what we get, end of story.
2) if anyone apologized now, it would be said that the apology only happened because we were shamed into it. That's happened a dozen times before. No point. No winning.
3) who should we apologize to? Someone who hasn't been on TB since January and will never see said apology? Again, no point.
4) I'm not entirely sorry. I made one slightly shitty comment, but never said anything about her ability to purchase or not purchase a crib. Should we go back in the bowels of TB and apologize to everyone who has ever received a less than deserved flaming? Don't pretend you (general you) have never participated in such an action.
5) I would defend a "friend" against a random trying to flame her again. Even if it happened today, because the culture of friendship is what I cultivate, not "clique" mentality, as it has been said. And if she were, in fact, being a douce (as Erin definitely was), I'd tell her so in private. I'm not in the business of publicly calling out my friends. That doesn't mean I don't expect them to check themselves (or vice versa).
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