**FFFC 4/4**

Skeemer

shanicenicolle said:

zarkarella said:

I really hesitate to post this because I know how flameworthy it is here. But, this is my second child and my first is 6. I was absolutely not expecting a baby shower but then my best friend told me she was throwing me one. And I am so excited, I am not going to turn her down. In my defense, I didn't have any true girl friends my first time around. I met my best friends because I became a mother and joined a mom's group in town. So, yeah... flame away. 

Multiple baby showers are the norm in my neck of the woods. I think if people want to come, they will and whoever doesn't won't. Don't feel guilty, lol.

Same here. Enjoy yourself & celebrate!

drunkenhandstand

kay anthony said:

Here's mine: I'm really bothered by the "let's ogle at hot men" threads. I think some kind of warning should be posted on them like *people being objectified inside* so that I don't accidentally click on them. They really piss me off.

I'm not a prude, I like sex, I just don't like when people are turned into objects to be stared at. 

Skeemer

birthjunkie13 said:

kay anthony said:

Here's mine: I'm really bothered by the "let's ogle at hot men" threads. I think some kind of warning should be posted on them like *people being objectified inside* so that I don't accidentally click on them. They really piss me off.

I'm not a prude, I like sex, I just don't like when people are turned into objects to be stared at. 

The threads are called 'Man Crush Monday' and 'Woman Crush Wednesday.'  That's not enough of a warning? 

I just don't think "Personality Thursday" would go over very well.

ETA: When models/actors/singers take pictures in skimpy barely there clothes I'm pretty sure they doing it knowing they'll be turned into eye candy at some point.

ghostof5letters

kay anthony said:

Here's mine: I'm really bothered by the "let's ogle at hot men" threads. I think some kind of warning should be posted on them like *people being objectified inside* so that I don't accidentally click on them. They really piss me off.

I'm not a prude, I like sex, I just don't like when people are turned into objects to be stared at. 

Is t the title of the thread warning enough?

hgtvmom

jessa8907 said:

zarkarella said:

I posted this in the random thread the other day, but since none of you look at it, I will post it here. There is absolutely no reason to "catch up" with the random thread. It is just one long stream of consciousness. Just go to the last page and jump in, very rarely does a post even lead to a discussion. 

THIS!

By the time you decide to catch up, the oldest posts are basically obsolete. So just jump to the end and jump back in.

I totally get this. But, my brain tells me that I haven't earned my way in. I gots some brain issues. :-)

AMcLaws

Csltdk said:

I always have to check my tissue to look at my snot after I blow my nose. I don't know why!

I do too!!!

chevronseven

shanicenicolle said:

zarkarella said:

I really hesitate to post this because I know how flameworthy it is here. But, this is my second child and my first is 6. I was absolutely not expecting a baby shower but then my best friend told me she was throwing me one. And I am so excited, I am not going to turn her down. In my defense, I didn't have any true girl friends my first time around. I met my best friends because I became a mother and joined a mom's group in town. So, yeah... flame away. 

Multiple baby showers are the norm in my neck of the woods. I think if people want to come, they will and whoever doesn't won't. Don't feel guilty, lol.

Agreed. I don't see the problem with showers for subsequent children. If someone offers, they know you're not a FTM. No one is MAKING anyone come and/or buy you gifts, they can choose not to attend. Have fun at your shower!

hgtvmom

AMcLaws said:

Csltdk said:

I always have to check my tissue to look at my snot after I blow my nose. I don't know why!

I do too!!!

Well duh! If you don't check the tissue, how do you know what came out of you?? Is it clear? Green? Yellow? Bloody? I need to know these things.

Is there really anyone who doesn't check the TP after wiping? Especially while pregnant! I have to evaluate for any hint of pink that will cause a freak out.

Yup, I check pretty much whatever comes out of me to see what it looks like.

jensavicci

kay anthony said:

I'm not a prude, I like sex, I just don't like when people are turned into objects to be stared at. 

Michelle duggar likes sex but she's still a prude.

Anyways, my FFFC

Just this morning I pulled my bra strap down because my boobs just needed some freedom and a good scratch. However, as I got up to go speak with my employees, I'd forgotten I pulled my bra down. And I'm still BFing and pumping. So I leaked a little......I was getting mad because none of them would make eye contact with me when I spoke to them too. So finally one person gave me that "girrrrl, look down" look and when I did, I froze. I don't handle embarrassing situations well so I laugh/snorted my ass out of there. I haven't been out of my office since.

zellatrix

Pup4gdb said:

zarkarella said:

I posted this in the random thread the other day, but since none of you look at it, I will post it here. There is absolutely no reason to "catch up" with the random thread. It is just one long stream of consciousness. Just go to the last page and jump in, very rarely does a post even lead to a discussion. 

THIS!

By the time you decide to catch up, the oldest posts are basically obsolete. So just jump to the end and jump back in.

I totally get this. But, my brain tells me that I haven't earned my way in. I gots some brain issues. :-)

It's not like we keep up with who has been posting and who hasn't.

kay anthony

Bliss+Berry said:

*snip for length*

Well, if the people being ogled were worried about being "objectified" they probably wouldn't be posing for the pictures or you know acting or modeling.  

*and now I'm stuck in the grey*

I think that we are defining the term "objectification" in different ways. I believe that you are seeing it as being two (or more) consenting adults (viewer and viewed) agreeing to engage in an act, in which no one is hurt because both parties have agreed to this use of the image. Please correct me if I have misunderstood you.

I agree, to a certain extent that on an individual level, there is nothing wrong with this type of scenerio. 

The problem becomes when a lot of viewers are looking at one other group as objects or in a proprietary manner that the problems come in. Historically, it has been men looking at women this way, and has contributed to an innate gender-imbalance in our society which continues to effect us to this day. It leads to members of one sex believing that they can, for example, call women who use birth control "sluts". 

I find the historical gender-reversal of women objectifying men uncomfortable and debasing to both sexes. I don't think I'm going to effect a societal change on the Bump by expressing this opinion, I'm just saying I wish those posts had warnings on them so I didn't have to look at what I view as gross and unethical behavior.

 Edited for conciseness. 

zellatrix

kay anthony said:

Bliss+Berry said:

*snip for length*

Well, if the people being ogled were worried about being "objectified" they probably wouldn't be posing for the pictures or you know acting or modeling.  

*and now I'm stuck in the grey*

I think that we are defining the term "objectification" in different ways. I believe that you are seeing it as being two (or more) consenting adults (viewer and viewed) agreeing to engage in an act, in which no one is hurt because both parties have agreed to this use of the image. Please correct me if I have misunderstood you.

I agree, to a certain extent that on an individual level, there is nothing wrong with this type of scenerio. For example, there are times when my husband and I use each other in just such a way. We live on opposite coasts. We send dirty pictures to each other. I've done the same with exes as well, long before I was ever married -- I'm not at all making a "within the bonds of marriage" argument. I think that on the individual level this type of behavior is fine.

The problem becomes when a lot of viewers are looking at one other group as objects or in a proprietary manner that the problems come in. Historically, it has been men looking at women this way, and has contributed to an innate gender-imbalance in our society which continues to effect us to this day. It leads to members of one sex believing that they can, for example, call women who use birth control "sluts". 

I find the historical gender-reversal of women objectifying men uncomfortable and debasing to both sexes. I don't think I'm going to effect a societal change on the Bump by expressing this opinion, I'm just saying I wish those posts had warnings on them so I didn't have to look at what I view as gross and unethical behavior.

 

By what you posted, I can imagine what your degree is in. I am not saying this in a derogatory way at all, but I work at a University and I have actually had these discussions before with professors that I know. 

ETA: I do have to agree with previous posters, the titles should be warning enough. "Man Candy Monday" is pretty self explanatory unless you assumed it was men made of candy. 

kay anthony

birthjunkie13 said:

kay anthony said:

The threads are called 'Man Crush Monday' and 'Woman Crush Wednesday.'  That's not enough of a warning? 

No always. There was one just this week that was not called that and had all kinds of Tatum Channing mostly undressed pictures. 

jensavicci

kay anthony said:

birthjunkie13 said:

kay anthony said:

The threads are called 'Man Crush Monday' and 'Woman Crush Wednesday.'  That's not enough of a warning? 

No always. There was one just this week that was not called that and had all kinds of Tatum Channing mostly undressed pictures. 
------------sexy quotes-----------

Even I'm not offended by an undressed Channing tatum. Channing could get it....just saying.

abundancenow

zarkarella said:

I really hesitate to post this because I know how flameworthy it is here. But, this is my second child and my first is 6. I was absolutely not expecting a baby shower but then my best friend told me she was throwing me one. And I am so excited, I am not going to turn her down. In my defense, I didn't have any true girl friends my first time around. I met my best friends because I became a mother and joined a mom's group in town. So, yeah... flame away. 

Enjoy celebrating with those who care for you and are excited about your new baby. I make no defense for my excitement that there will be a 'Sprinkle' in my honor to celebrate the new baby coming. I have no Martha Stewart type people in my life who would question me being excited and sharing in that excitement with me and a party, not focused on gifts, but on our shared joy that my family is expanding.

Skeemer

Now I just want to look  get to know politely speak to Channing Tatum.

zellatrix

abundancenow said:

zarkarella said:

I really hesitate to post this because I know how flameworthy it is here. But, this is my second child and my first is 6. I was absolutely not expecting a baby shower but then my best friend told me she was throwing me one. And I am so excited, I am not going to turn her down. In my defense, I didn't have any true girl friends my first time around. I met my best friends because I became a mother and joined a mom's group in town. So, yeah... flame away. 

Enjoy celebrating with those who care for you and are excited about your new baby. I make no defense for my excitement that there will be a 'Sprinkle' in my honor to celebrate the new baby coming. I have no Martha Stewart type people in my life who would question me being excited and sharing in that excitement with me and a party, not focused on gifts, but on our shared joy that my family is expanding.

I will refrain from posting on Facebook like someone else I know that is pregnant right now. "For baby shower invites, send me a message!!" Uhhhh, nope. 

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

emy730

I'm far too concerned with how my cats are going to react to the baby. My anxiety goes full steam ahead when I think about it too much.

I'm fully aware this inches me closer and closer to crazy cat lady status.

emy730

shanicenicolle said:

I feel like I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum as you when it comes to these things. I feel like wanting to show your body off, or even being promiscuous is a personal choice. If you feel comfortable with your choices then more power to you. The problem lays more in the language. Being called promiscuous shouldn't be an insult. WANTING to be viewed as a sex symbol/object of sexual pleasure shouldn't be frowned upon.

That may not be the life choices I make but why should me being a very private person when it comes to sex and my body affect what others wish to do with theirs?

I'm not arguing your point at all. I think we want two different means to the same end.

=D>

I think I love you.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Deleted User]

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AKbadwolf

shanicenicolle said:

livelaughlove88 said:

I have been waiting all week for this! I have a few confessions: 1. I still take hot showers. I know we're not supposed to, but I can't stand lukewarm water. 2. #1 actually only happens on the rare occasions I can even be bothered to take a shower. A couple times a week usually, these days. If I don't smell bad or my hair doesn't look greasy, I don't want to deal with getting wet and having to brush and dry my long hair.

My OB sucks. I keep finding out stuff we're not supposed to be doing randomly. She hasn't told me jack squat and the papers she gave me basically only talk about back pain and medicine I can take.

The opinion on hot showers is an OB by OB basis. My OB has recommended hot showers, hot baths, and hot tub time for my hip pain. She just has me monitor my temperature to ensure it doesn't get too high and says to get out when I start to feel too hot.

Skeemer

 

shanicenicolle said:

emy730 said:

I'm far too concerned with how my cats are going to react to the baby. My anxiety goes full steam ahead when I think about it too much.

I'm fully aware this inches me closer and closer to crazy cat lady status.

How many cats do you have?

   :P

jensavicci

FFFC 2

Ya know, I joke a lot about me not minding having sex with a celebrity guy but truth of the matter is, I wouldn't know wtf to do with a man if I had one LOL I mean I know where it goes and all, but I wouldn't want it touching me EVER. So, I guess we'd just have to have some really hot and sexy chest humping haha.

abundancenow

I called out sick due to feeling tired and a stomach bug yesterday and dh started in about me using up my sick time. I explained it to him before that the sick time I do not use will be applied to my temp disability leave prior to baby's delivery. I get 2/3rds pay through disability regardless, or I can be paid for a full day if I use sick time saved up. I don't value the 1/3rd pay as much as I do the time off and the money is not going to break us. I called out again today and haven't said anything to my husband yet, and am not sure if I will tell him I stayed home today bc I'm feeling too lazy to fight over it.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

TallMomma29

To the people who are annoyed by the random thread: it's ok if you are overwhelmed by it and choose not to participate, but if your complaint is that it makes the rest of the board boring.... nobody is stopping you from starting your own damn threads!! Is the complaint that you wish the ladies who contribute to the random thread would instead start separate threads so you could be entertained without having to put forth any effort? Go forth and post your own topics, all ye bored people!

emy730

shanicenicolle said:

emy730 said:

I'm far too concerned with how my cats are going to react to the baby. My anxiety goes full steam ahead when I think about it too much.

I'm fully aware this inches me closer and closer to crazy cat lady status.

How many cats do you have?

Just two 

zellatrix

TallMomma29 said:

To the people who are annoyed by the random thread: it's ok if you are overwhelmed by it and choose not to participate, but if your complaint is that it makes the rest of the board boring.... nobody is stopping you from starting your own damn threads!! Is the complaint that you wish the ladies who contribute to the random thread would instead start separate threads so you could be entertained without having to put forth any effort? Go forth and post your own topics, all ye bored people!

Amen Sista... I post all the time on any thread I find interesting. The random thread does not stop me from participating elsewhere. 

lindslalala

TallMomma29 said:

To the people who are annoyed by the random thread: it's ok if you are overwhelmed by it and choose not to participate, but if your complaint is that it makes the rest of the board boring.... nobody is stopping you from starting your own damn threads!! Is the complaint that you wish the ladies who contribute to the random thread would instead start separate threads so you could be entertained without having to put forth any effort? Go forth and post your own topics, all ye bored people!

True, but I think right after the random thread was created there was a lot of "this belongs in the random thread" responding happening. Maybe I'm wrong though.

zellatrix

lindslalala said:

To the people who are annoyed by the random thread: it's ok if you are overwhelmed by it and choose not to participate, but if your complaint is that it makes the rest of the board boring.... nobody is stopping you from starting your own damn threads!! Is the complaint that you wish the ladies who contribute to the random thread would instead start separate threads so you could be entertained without having to put forth any effort? Go forth and post your own topics, all ye bored people!

True, but I think right after the random thread was created there was a lot of "this belongs in the random thread" responding happening. Maybe I'm wrong though.

That got shut down pretty quickly. I think I only saw this comment once or twice and they were promptly told to shut up. 

jensavicci

TallMomma29 said:

To the people who are annoyed by the random thread: it's ok if you are overwhelmed by it and choose not to participate, but if your complaint is that it makes the rest of the board boring.... nobody is stopping you from starting your own damn threads!! Is the complaint that you wish the ladies who contribute to the random thread would instead start separate threads so you could be entertained without having to put forth any effort? Go forth and post your own topics, all ye bored people!

Here here!

I actually like the random thread because I think of it as a scavenger hunt lol sometimes it is hard to keep up with but hey, if you're bored, catching up should unbore you at least a little. I also like it because it's kind of a chat for me since I don't go on the actual chat. But hey, it's not for everyone.

TallMomma29

@Zarkarella, while I think it is ridiculously tacky and side-eye worthy for someone to request their own baby shower or throw their own baby shower ever, I do not think it is tacky at all if someone wants to throw you a shower for a subsequent baby, especially when it's SIX YEARS later. I really think the etiquette queens need to unclutch their pearls a little with that one.

Skeemer

birthjunkie13 said:

kay anthony said:

Bliss+Berry said:

*snip for length*

Well, if the people being ogled were worried about being "objectified" they probably wouldn't be posing for the pictures or you know acting or modeling.  

*and now I'm stuck in the grey*

I think that we are defining the term "objectification" in different ways. I believe that you are seeing it as being two (or more) consenting adults (viewer and viewed) agreeing to engage in an act, in which no one is hurt because both parties have agreed to this use of the image. Please correct me if I have misunderstood you.

I agree, to a certain extent that on an individual level, there is nothing wrong with this type of scenerio. 

The problem becomes when a lot of viewers are looking at one other group as objects or in a proprietary manner that the problems come in. Historically, it has been men looking at women this way, and has contributed to an innate gender-imbalance in our society which continues to effect us to this day. It leads to members of one sex believing that they can, for example, call women who use birth control "sluts". 

I find the historical gender-reversal of women objectifying men uncomfortable and debasing to both sexes. I don't think I'm going to effect a societal change on the Bump by expressing this opinion, I'm just saying I wish those posts had warnings on them so I didn't have to look at what I view as gross and unethical behavior.

 Edited for conciseness. 

I'm just going to go ahead and say that I don't think it's necessary to try and intellectualize women (mostly) posting half naked pictures of men (mostly) on a pregnancy forum.  There's a time and a place for the discussion you want to have, and this isn't it.  We're not going to post a *Warning: hot guys ahead* because YOU feel uncomfortable with the objectification that occasionally happens in a post.  If you're that offended, this probably isn't the best place for you.

Just out of curiousity OP, what happens when you Google & a random image of a half naked hottie comes up? There's generally no warning bells for that.

I realize ^this^ sounds very sarcastic & I'm honestly not trying to be. I'm just asking.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Skeemer

TallMomma29 said:

@Zarkarella, while I think it is ridiculously tacky and side-eye worthy for someone to request their own baby shower or throw their own baby shower ever, I do not think it is tacky at all if someone wants to throw you a shower for a subsequent baby, especially when it's SIX YEARS later. I really think the etiquette queens need to unclutch their pearls a little with that one.

***Loss sort of mentioned***

It surprised me how many people asked me when our baby shower for this LO is going to be. DS will turn 3 in August. But I also think that a lot of people know this is our rainbow & they are just very excited to celebrate with us! I honestly don't care what we get (a few friends are going in together to get us a new car seat & extra base which I think is extremely generous). I'm just excited to have a fun party with my friends to celebrate my baby love.

A close friend offered to have a small shower at her house. She said, "We're all buying gifts anyway so we may as well make a party out of it!" I would never ask for my own shower but it's very kind that people are so happy for us & want to celebrate with us.

All that to say, I completely agree with @tallmomma29 - If your friends want to celebrate & buy things for your LO then cut loose & enjoy yourself. You didn't ask for a shower/sprinkle but enjoy people's kind heartedness & generosity.

emy730

shanicenicolle said:

shanicenicolle said:

emy730 said:

I'm far too concerned with how my cats are going to react to the baby. My anxiety goes full steam ahead when I think about it too much.

I'm fully aware this inches me closer and closer to crazy cat lady status.

How many cats do you have?

Just two 

I don't think you can claim crazy cat lady until you have at least 4... Or you dress them up and have tea parties. Whichever comes first lol :P Eta: punctuation

#-o

Yeah I definitely don't do that! However, I'm sure there are tons of people that do… and I hope I never meet them.

coybig

kay anthony said:

Well, if the people being ogled were worried about being "objectified" they probably wouldn't be posing for the pictures or you know acting or modeling.  

*and now I'm stuck in the grey*

I think that we are defining the term "objectification" in different ways. I believe that you are seeing it as being two (or more) consenting adults (viewer and viewed) agreeing to engage in an act, in which no one is hurt because both parties have agreed to this use of the image. Please correct me if I have misunderstood you.

I agree, to a certain extent that on an individual level, there is nothing wrong with this type of scenerio. 

The problem becomes when a lot of viewers are looking at one other group as objects or in a proprietary manner that the problems come in. Historically, it has been men looking at women this way, and has contributed to an innate gender-imbalance in our society which continues to effect us to this day. It leads to members of one sex believing that they can, for example, call women who use birth control "sluts". 

I find the historical gender-reversal of women objectifying men uncomfortable and debasing to both sexes. I don't think I'm going to effect a societal change on the Bump by expressing this opinion, I'm just saying I wish those posts had warnings on them so I didn't have to look at what I view as gross and unethical behavior.

 Edited for conciseness. 

how is this unethical?

chrinikki1

FFFC#1 I have to drink my glucose juice in 9 min. Fine. But I have chocolate covered raisins in my purse, a cupcake on the counter and a Wendy's frosty planned for afterward! I've been DYING the whole week- especially after I stupidly tried a new lemon-vanilla cake (it had white chocolate frosting!!) and I couldn't eat more than a sliver. Had to give it away.

FFFC#2 I have been exaggerating my inability to bend over so DH will pick up dog poop. Karma got me: he left off business and my 100lb dog got sick. Mushy poop for me.