*Ticker Warning* Intro

HoneyBBurns

First I'd like to say, Please don't judge me. I understand that their are lots of people that are dealing with or have dealt with fertility struggles. I hope that those people also understand that though I do have kids that I too am hurting. My history is: son born 4/2002, m/c at 6 wks 10/31/2007, son born 4/2009 and a son born 9/2012. I got a positive test on 3/27 and cramped the whole time until pink tinged mucus yesterday and bad period like cramps and heavy bleeding today. The test still shows positive, which I think is worse because it's like its rubbing it in. I am thankful for my children, that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm hoping that by the time my EDD arrives I'll be so distracted by the holidays that it won't hit as hard. Every year, as it is, I remember Halloween as the day we lost our first baby together (my oldests dad and I divorced when he was 3). My husband just keeps saying we can try again but I've now lost 2 out of 5 pregnancies and I don't know if I can do it again. I'm not getting any younger, lets be honest here. I know that my risks of m/c and abnormalities increases the older I get. Thanks for letting me vent. I know I didn't really make any real points, I just needed to vent.  

KingLED

No one here will judge you for having children. You have just as much right to grieve as anyone else. I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this situation again.

stephy1221

*ticker warning*

So sorry for your loss. 

Please know we give and receive support here and don't judge based on IF or living children etc. A loss hits all mamma hard.

AprSnow59

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself ((hugs))

HoneyBBurns

Thank-you ladies. I think I'm doing ok. With my first loss I was a total wreck. I mean, 6 months of on and off depression (it always hit around ovulation and when my cycle started again), we started TTC again  right away with doctors approval which looking back was probably not a great idea and is probably why I got so bad when I started each month. This time I think we'll just take the let it happen if it happens and leave it at that approach.  

girlnextdoornco

I'm so sorry for your pain. You have every right to be hurting and to express that here. We all tend to use different things to help us heal, but thought I'd share this book with you in case you'd like to find a copy. https://bit.ly/Pd3AFv Blessings and prayers, HoneyBBurns

ambmama

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs!

nohalo21

I'm sorry for your loss. The women here are very supportive. I hope that you are able to find some comfort here.

jneden

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have every right to grieve and feel pain even if you have other children. I also have a daughter and I'm so grateful she is healthy and I have her, but I also grieve for the sibling she never got to know.