First I'd like to say, Please don't judge me. I understand that their are lots of people that are dealing with or have dealt with fertility struggles. I hope that those people also understand that though I do have kids that I too am hurting. My history is: son born 4/2002, m/c at 6 wks 10/31/2007, son born 4/2009 and a son born 9/2012. I got a positive test on 3/27 and cramped the whole time until pink tinged mucus yesterday and bad period like cramps and heavy bleeding today. The test still shows positive, which I think is worse because it's like its rubbing it in. I am thankful for my children, that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm hoping that by the time my EDD arrives I'll be so distracted by the holidays that it won't hit as hard. Every year, as it is, I remember Halloween as the day we lost our first baby together (my oldests dad and I divorced when he was 3). My husband just keeps saying we can try again but I've now lost 2 out of 5 pregnancies and I don't know if I can do it again. I'm not getting any younger, lets be honest here. I know that my risks of m/c and abnormalities increases the older I get. Thanks for letting me vent. I know I didn't really make any real points, I just needed to vent.