FFFC 2/21

beff12

My FFFC: I stink. Like, literally smell. I thought it was one of my students, but went to the bathroom and discovered it is in fact ME that has body odor like a teenager. I've never had smelly armpits in my life until this morning. I didn't even realize I was sweating. Apparently, I need new deodorant. I texted DH and he laughed and said he's even more convinced I'm having a boy now! Pregnancy is beautiful.

Lhalliburton

I got completely grossed out after reading this https://www.oddee.com/item_97595.aspx

Apparently boys can get erections in the uterus. I forgot until DH reminded me yesterday when we found out we were having a boy. If this is true, I'm so grossed out.

Angeliquesmom

beff12 said:

My FFFC: I stink. Like, literally smell. I thought it was one of my students, but went to the bathroom and discovered it is in fact ME that has body odor like a teenager. I've never had smelly armpits in my life until this morning. I didn't even realize I was sweating. Apparently, I need new deodorant. I texted DH and he laughed and said he's even more convinced I'm having a boy now! Pregnancy is beautiful.

I have noticed my pits are stinkier than usual too!  After my current deodorant runs out, I'm going to get the clinical strength kind and see if it doesn't make a difference.  As we progress into the summer (and I'm in the South), I only see this problem getting worse.

Skeemer

 

kleMcK said:

cookieinva said:

cakebatter27 said:

Although I have every instinct this is gonna be a boy, I'm secretly hoping for a girl today. It's our first and we're not one and done, but I'm terrified of raising something with a penis. The thought of months of getting sprayed in the face with pee isn't exactly my cup of tea either.

Everything i hear from parents who have had both boy and girls ay girls are worse for this. With boys you can tell it is coming so you have warning (this is true in my experience with DS) but with girls there is no warning so it happens more often (no idea on that part as I have no daughters). Baby/toddler erections definitely still creep me out a little, even if it is perfectly normal and natural.

I have never had my daughter pee in my face. Ever. Ever, ever.

How is this even possible? Unless your baby girl is suspended mid air while you attempt to change the diaper. Or unless you're the person who posted the one legged girl penis sonogram pic a few days ago.

tealowl

jensavicci said:

AW post/DW report/ FFFC (It's a bit long!)

Ok, I told you guys I'd update you on my valentines day. I felt like it was FFFC worthy haha. Also, I know its really cheesy and cliche for something like this to happen on valentines day but, idegaf, it was incredible. The kids were at my MIL's btw.

(Major TMI Warning at the end so prepare yourself)

First, DW came home with my favorite flowers and a king size package of Reese's! Lol I love Reese's So then she drove me a little ways outside of Philly and took me to a spa! We got facials and I got a pre-natal massage. It was orgasmically good. Then, we came home and I noticed there were some lights in the house. So I freaked because no one was supposed to be home. But when I got inside there were candles everywhere and our favorite songs were playing on the stereo (she got her brother to come over and set things up). She also had a blanket sitting on the floor with sparkling apple cider and my fav lobster rolls! Then she got on her knee and started reading the vows she wrote for me on our wedding day. Ladies, it was so friggin amazing and magical I can't even describe the emotions I was feeling. DW is DEFINITELY  forgiven. So we ate our food and laughed like we were in high school again. Then we awkwardly slow danced to the music (my bump was in the way lol) and just enjoyed each other's company. 

Now, it's been about 2 months since I've had sex with her. I've had an itch that no toy can exactly scratch. So when we took things to the bedroom that night, I felt like a teenage virgin. Touched for the very first time. Well, we finally get down to business and its mind blowing. I'm talking about Broken bed, ripped sheets, neighbors know my name mind blowing. So, she's doing her thing and all of a sudden...there's a rumble in my stomach. I try to ignore it but it doesn't go away. So I'm closer and closer to climaxing and all of a sudden I jump up, run like hell to the bathroom and blow the toilet up

Soooo......basically, my wife Fucked the shit out of me Now you know. 

Lol I feel like this gif goes well with the overall night.

*STANDING OVATION*

Jbosarge85

I would quote but so many responded. Thanks for answering my  question, now if I have a boy I won't be as freaked out when it happens. 

As far as having a girl, I've never been peed on. And cleaning poop out of the crevices isn't horrible. DH is still freaked out doing it. 

Jandamay

Angeliquesmom said:

MY FFFC:  I have an older coworker that I only work every third weekend with (usually just on Sunday)..........and upon the word "bump" slipping out of my mouth she went all, "Don't say "bump", it's not a bump, it's a baby!" and had the most disgusted look on her face....like, wtf ever lady.  If I want to call my stomach a "bump" then I will and I don't give a shit how you feel about it.    So over it.

ETA:  she also said it was "disrespectful" to refer to my baby as a bump.  I can't even....

:-w

I wonder what she would think of me referring to my baby in the early days as 'the parasite'.

Skeemer

honeybee434 said:

BIL told us all that his GF was pregnant this week. I don't care for her, they have an awful relationship neither if them are happy in and he's been debating whether or not he should "get out of it" for over a year. (They've been living with earn other for their entire 4 years together, she has two kids he has one.) Well, now she's knocked up, he is not happy about it, and she's the type of person who we are all wondering if she stopped taking her BC pills to get pregnant on purpose to keep him around. He's stupid for staying in a relationship he didn't want for so long where this could happen and now she doesn't get why he hasn't done a 180 to become this super supportive SO out of nowhere. She also already "feels the baby all the time" and she is 11 weeks pregnant. She sent a picture of her u/s this week and MIL responded with "that's my youngest grandbaby." Which out of nowhere made me want to cry. Apparently our LO is already being pushed aside and the poor girl isn't even here, yet. My pregnancy emotions have been all over the place not wanting to share my pregnancy with her and this situation, even though I know that's stupid and irrational, but I'm having a mini pity party over here anyway.

I hate stuff like this. Also...I think you & I may be in the same family. DH & I are always having to hear something like your BIL's scenario from DH's family.

jensavicci

@SarahVol131

Thank you! Very sweet of you to say lol even the snorting!

Skeemer

Jandamay said:

I wonder what she would think of me referring to my baby in the early days as 'the parasite'.

I told DH that having this baby in my stomach hungry & experiencing m/s with it is like that scene from Alien where the alien pops out of Sigourney Weaver's stomach. So yes...parasite seems very fitting. Lol.

lindslalala

I am wishing this week away. Next week is our a/s, DS's 2nd birthday, SIL is having her new baby (c section so we know the date), and we find out if anyone is running against MIL for re-election(she's a county official). I seriously can't wait and feel like a kid on Christmas Eve.

acciovino

I've had at least a hundred professional massages, but last night I think I had the best one ever.

And I maaayy have gotten a little turned on by it....

">

Then I felt weird and guilty...but I scheduled another appointment anyway.

:>

kmawb

Skeemer said:

How is this even possible? Unless your baby girl is suspended mid air while you attempt to change the diaper. Or unless you're the person who posted the one legged girl penis sonogram pic a few days ago.

Oh it's possible, when she was only a few months old my DD soaked the front of my DHs shirt during a diaper change.  He had her legs bent up towards her tummy cleaning up some poop and she let loose a massive pee that shot straight out at him in a nice little stream.  I was across the room on the floor laughing of course.  Thankfully she never got me!

BW1088

OK, I may or may not be a little freaked out by the baby boy penis talk now.  :-S  I'm already having anxiety over the whole "to circ or not to circ" question.  Uuuuuuugh.   

DD has been pretty easy... no peeing on me (though not for lack of trying, just always managed to catch it) and all the little folds are really NBD.  I know DH is thrilled we're getting a little man, but I'm definitely more nervous than I thought I would be!  :-??

tourqeyes

Caitlinrj said:

I've had at least a hundred professional massages, but last night I think I had the best one ever.

And I maaayy have gotten a little turned on by it....

">

Then I felt weird and guilty...but I scheduled another appointment anyway.

:>

Man or woman?

ETA: And thank god women can't have boners because I have the mind of a teenage boy.

Skeemer

kmawb said:

Skeemer said:

How is this even possible? Unless your baby girl is suspended mid air while you attempt to change the diaper. Or unless you're the person who posted the one legged girl penis sonogram pic a few days ago.

Oh it's possible, when she was only a few months old my DD soaked the front of my DHs shirt during a diaper change.  He had her legs bent up towards her tummy cleaning up some poop and she let loose a massive pee that shot straight out at him in a nice little stream.  I was across the room on the floor laughing of course.  Thankfully she never got me!

Wow. I never imagined! Lol. Good for you that you were out of tinkle range!

acciovino

tourqeyes said:

Caitlinrj said:

I've had at least a hundred professional massages, but last night I think I had the best one ever.

And I maaayy have gotten a little turned on by it....

">

Then I felt weird and guilty...but I scheduled another appointment anyway.

:>

Man or woman?

ETA: And thank god women can't have boners because I have the mind of a teenage boy.

It was a woman! She had the hands of a god though!

ETA: Also I was thinking the whole time, "damn I hope she can't read my mind" because I also have the mind of a teenage boy.

">

[Deleted User]

TKT17 said:

Also, I recently realized it's been a year since I had the oil changed in my car. DH would lose his mind, so I just took the sticker off the windshield.

Get that taken care of! I had to pick a friend up before work one day a few years ago because her car just completely died since she hadn't remembered to change the oil in a long time. 

katnipeverclean

Last Friday after we went and spent three hours in a design center picking all of our cabinets, finishes, granite etc for the new house I was starving and all I wanted was sushi. So we went and I ate all that I wanted even the raw stuff. DH thought I couldn't eat raw fish because it would cause some sort of horrible birth defects. I had to explain to him that, no. Just no.

I ate the crap out of spicy tuna roll. Mmmm. I am way more laid back about this pregnancy than with DD.

Also, I hate massages.

abundancenow

During my last pregnancy, I kidded that I finally grew some balls when I was pregnant with my son because I just did not give a crap about things that would normally bug me. This must just be a pregnancy thing with me, because even with having a girl this time, I just don't care what others judge about my life. I am enjoying pleasing myself and not being concerned with others opinions.
I don't give a crap that my house is a wreck. To anyone who does: I work full time, have a 4 y/o and am almost 5 months pregnant, if you want to do my dishes and fold and put away my laundry, please knock yourself out.
I don't give a crap that your feelings are hurt because you found out on facebook that I am having a baby and I did not tell you in person, we aren't close like that. Stop calling me now after 6 months of not returning my calls prior to my pregnancy.
I don't give a crap about how many food, pee and drink breaks I am taking at work. Your lucky I did not call out today.
I don't give a crap that I've thrown any fashion sense out the window, my feet are comfortable in clarks and at least my clothes fit.
Lastly, I don't give a crap that I'm getting the side eye for carrying my Mc Donald's bag of hotcakes and sausage every morning for breakfast, I like to be fueled up for my day.
My flame free friday confession, I just don't give a crap about so many things that bugged me before pregnancy and I love not caring what others want to judge about me.

abunai523

Skeemer said:

Jandamay said:

I wonder what she would think of me referring to my baby in the early days as 'the parasite'.

I told DH that having this baby in my stomach hungry & experiencing m/s with it is like that scene from Alien where the alien pops out of Sigourney Weaver's stomach. So yes...parasite seems very fitting. Lol.

Yeah... here's another confession. I totally considered recreating that scene as a costume for Comic Con this year. Bump-friendly costumes are hard y'all!

zellatrix

Just a FYI, you get used to the baby boner thing after a while. It still makes me and DH giggle like teenage boys sometimes, but it's not a shock anymore. My six year old still needs help getting dressed in the morning because he refuses to wake up and if I let him dress himself, he'd just lay in the floor and sleep for another 30 minutes and I would be late to work every day. Anyway, it's getting way more awkward now and sometimes it really bothers him that he has one. But, happens every morning after he wakes up. 

acciovino

SarahVol131 said:

Last Friday after we went and spent three hours in a design center picking all of our cabinets, finishes, granite etc for the new house I was starving and all I wanted was sushi. So we went and I ate all that I wanted even the raw stuff. DH thought I couldn't eat raw fish because it would cause some sort of horrible birth defects. I had to explain to him that, no. Just no.

I ate the crap out of spicy tuna roll. Mmmm. I am way more laid back about this pregnancy than with DD.

Also, I hate massages.

:-O

That makes me sad for you. They are like my favorite thing ever! I even went to massage school so I've done them myself many many times. I love everything about them!

Csltdk

I keep expecting to read a really good FFFC like someone going crazy and confessing they aren't pregnant, or someone thinking they are pregnant with a puppy instead of a baby, or maybe even someone confessing they are a cheater. Can I get anyone to admit they shit the bed? SOMETHING!?

And this friday it's about baby piss and boners.



jensavicci. That one made me giggle.

And no, I have no confession of my own, I will try to come up with a good one

cakebatter27

Lhalliburton said:

I got completely grossed out after reading this https://www.oddee.com/item_97595.aspx

Apparently boys can get erections in the uterus. I forgot until DH reminded me yesterday when we found out we were having a boy. If this is true, I'm so grossed out.

If this is true I'm beyond terrified.

runrinserepeat

Caitlinrj said:

SarahVol131 said:

Last Friday after we went and spent three hours in a design center picking all of our cabinets, finishes, granite etc for the new house I was starving and all I wanted was sushi. So we went and I ate all that I wanted even the raw stuff. DH thought I couldn't eat raw fish because it would cause some sort of horrible birth defects. I had to explain to him that, no. Just no.

I ate the crap out of spicy tuna roll. Mmmm. I am way more laid back about this pregnancy than with DD.

Also, I hate massages.

:-O

That makes me sad for you. They are like my favorite thing ever! I even went to massage school so I've done them myself many many times. I love everything about them!

Yeah... no. The only people who touch me are my husband and my child. I'm weird about that, but anyone who knows me knows that this is pretty much the case. Massages weird me out.

ETA: but holy hell, I could eat the hell out of a spicy tuna roll right now

TallMomma29

I have a depressing one. I'm pretty new to the whole military spouse thing and this is my first time dealing with a deployment ... I am pretty sure I would not feel any connection to my husband if I wasn't currently carrying his baby.

And this isn't even a real deployment. He's just on a boat in the ocean somewhere and I'll have been able to see him 3 times in his 5 month deployment. I don't think I could handle a real one :-(

zellatrix

SarahVol131 said:

Last Friday after we went and spent three hours in a design center picking all of our cabinets, finishes, granite etc for the new house I was starving and all I wanted was sushi. So we went and I ate all that I wanted even the raw stuff. DH thought I couldn't eat raw fish because it would cause some sort of horrible birth defects. I had to explain to him that, no. Just no.

I ate the crap out of spicy tuna roll. Mmmm. I am way more laid back about this pregnancy than with DD.

Also, I hate massages.

I like massages but have a hard time laying there and enjoying them and not thinking, "This better be worth $75."

katnipeverclean

cakebatter27 said:

I got completely grossed out after reading this https://www.oddee.com/item_97595.aspx

Apparently boys can get erections in the uterus. I forgot until DH reminded me yesterday when we found out we were having a boy. If this is true, I'm so grossed out.

If this is true I'm beyond terrified.

If this is true I am glad I am team green. I'm not scared of baby penises. I've changed and bathed my Godson enough to know how to handle baby boners and pee streams and all that, but a mini erection in my ute? That creeps me out. Not sure why. I'd just rather not know about it.

katnipeverclean

Caitlinrj said:

SarahVol131 said:

Last Friday after we went and spent three hours in a design center picking all of our cabinets, finishes, granite etc for the new house I was starving and all I wanted was sushi. So we went and I ate all that I wanted even the raw stuff. DH thought I couldn't eat raw fish because it would cause some sort of horrible birth defects. I had to explain to him that, no. Just no.

I ate the crap out of spicy tuna roll. Mmmm. I am way more laid back about this pregnancy than with DD.

Also, I hate massages.

:-O

That makes me sad for you. They are like my favorite thing ever! I even went to massage school so I've done them myself many many times. I love everything about them!

I don't like to be touched at all. I've had two in my life and I couldn't enjoy either because I was so uncomfortable with the whole half naked OMG there is a STRANGER touching me thing.

Salsera29

Now I am terrified of baby boners too.

I called out of work today. I said I had a migraine, but it's not a migraine, just a headache. I knew if I went in and spent the morning dealing with my classes if would just get worse. I wasn't up for sucking it up today.

Angeliquesmom

Skeemer said:

Jandamay said:

I wonder what she would think of me referring to my baby in the early days as 'the parasite'.

I told DH that having this baby in my stomach hungry & experiencing m/s with it is like that scene from Alien where the alien pops out of Sigourney Weaver's stomach. So yes...parasite seems very fitting. Lol.

They totally are parasites.  And @Jandamay:  I might do a test to see the next time I work with her.  :P

Skeemer

TallMomma29 said:

I have a depressing one. I'm pretty new to the whole military spouse thing and this is my first time dealing with a deployment ... I am pretty sure I would not feel any connection to my husband if I wasn't currently carrying his baby. And this isn't even a real deployment. He's just on a boat in the ocean somewhere and I'll have been able to see him 3 times in his 5 month deployment. I don't think I could handle a real one :-(

(((hugs)))

I wish I had stellar advice for you to help you deal with this transition. I can't imagine a harder job for a wife than to be a military wife or likewise deal with an immense amount of traveling. I really hope it gets better for you & you feel connected to him.

Skeemer

abundancenow said:

During my last pregnancy, I kidded that I finally grew some balls when I was pregnant with my son because I just did not give a crap about things that would normally bug me. This must just be a pregnancy thing with me, because even with having a girl this time, I just don't care what others judge about my life. I am enjoying pleasing myself and not being concerned with others opinions.
I don't give a crap that my house is a wreck. To anyone who does: I work full time, have a 4 y/o and am almost 5 months pregnant, if you want to do my dishes and fold and put away my laundry, please knock yourself out.
I don't give a crap that your feelings are hurt because you found out on facebook that I am having a baby and I did not tell you in person, we aren't close like that. Stop calling me now after 6 months of not returning my calls prior to my pregnancy.
I don't give a crap about how many food, pee and drink breaks I am taking at work. Your lucky I did not call out today.
I don't give a crap that I've thrown any fashion sense out the window, my feet are comfortable in clarks and at least my clothes fit.
Lastly, I don't give a crap that I'm getting the side eye for carrying my Mc Donald's bag of hotcakes and sausage every morning for breakfast, I like to be fueled up for my day.
My flame free friday confession, I just don't give a crap about so many things that bugged me before pregnancy and I love not caring what others want to judge about me.

Abso-stinkin-lutley! Good for you OP!!

 

kmawb

Not really a FFFC (but it's not pee or erection related) but my plan at work this afternoon is to watch the Canada vs USA men's hockey game streaming video on my computer while "pretending" to do work.  GO CANADA GO!!

alygoo615

BPaws said:

@jessa8907
I'm the crazy one. It's true.

I locked myself in the bathroom yesterday with a bowl of confetti "cake batter". It's not even real batter. It's just powdered cake mix and milk. No regrets. It was amazing and I got 15 minutes to myself. I just realized I ate it with DS's spoon.

Then I felt sick all night.

I do that with brownie mix and water. So good!

helloblueeyes

My DH deserves knighthood and sainthood and all the sexual favors i can muster after this morning. 

We had an argument this morning, in which i was the bad guy. 

Fast forward 20 min and I've finished getting ready, and had my breakfast. 

Except here comes a sudden urge to vomit. 

And ...

ALL OVER THE BATHROOM. Everywhere. It's a mess. Projectile vomit on everything. 

After checking that i was okay, my DH goes and grabs some stuff and starts to clean, after i tell him i would take care of it, he tells me he will take care of it so i'm not late for work. 

After i change and get cleaned up, i go to say bye to him and find him putting all the towels and stuff out with the dirty laundry that he is starting. 

The laundry i told him i would start this morning. 

Wife fail. I'm now sitting at work, with a new breakfast and feeling icky wondering how i will make it up to him. 

Skeemer

@helloblueeyes So sorry you feel like garbage. Kudos to you for marrying a keeper. I hope you feel better. I'm sure he owes you some favors anyway so try not to feel too guilty over it.

TallMomma29

In less depressing news, that "bump" i posted in HDBD? Totally a poop baby. Like literally enough to be a baby. I'm back to practically nothing today.

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