Needing Support

ebrumini9782

I'm needing some support from non-pregnant parents right now. I went to the doctors today for a routine visit and when asking questions was asked if I had any children. I told her no, but was expecting. She asked if I was pregnant and I answered telling her no my partner is. In reply she told me Oh, you're that kind of parent I pray for that child. I have never been so disrespected and discriminated against since I came out when I was 13. I know this is something we must deal with each day but I don't know how to handle the hurt and pain from this visit. 

firstcomeslove2013

Did this response come from a doctor's office staff member? First of all I am so sorry this happened. Secondly, if this was someone from the office (and it were me) I would address this comment with someone within that office immediately. Not only is this not acceptable it is also untrue. Those of us who are not currently carrying our children or that do not have a genetic tie are no less of a parent that our spouses or partners. It is important that your doctor's office remains an advocate for you and your family and this includes your emotions. I am so sorry this happened to you!

ATXmommas

That's shocking and I'm sorry it happened to you. Do you have a network of LGBT friends or acquaintances who can recommend a LGBT friendly doctor in your area? It certainly won't take the hurt away from this experience, but may give you piece of mind moving forward.

And as the gestational parent of a new little boy, I can tell you that our little one knows (as much as an 8 week old can know) that he has two mommies. He and my wife already have a special kind of fun that does not involve me when they dance around the house together. Fears are natural, but when your child is here, it will all fall into place.

AmandaG47

Wow, that must have been just awful, I am so sorry you had to go through that. As a non-pregnant expecting mom I know that if that were me, I probably would have burst into tears on the spot! What a terrible thing for a doctor to say. I would also report it to her supervisor if I were you. I would add in the email that this is the reason you are finding a new doctor (and then find a new doctor).

I am really sorry, I know how emotional it can be on this side of thing and she was not only out of place but dead wrong. Hoping you have a better weekend ☺

GoaliesWife123

I just have to say that had a doctor or anyone in that kind of position said something like that to me, there would have been serious words. Not only is that NOT any of her business, it is unprofessional and disrespectful. I can guarantee that if this was said to my wife (who will be the non-carrying parent) there would hell to pay. 

I'm sorry that your doctor made this ridiculous statement to you, but do not let it go. Write a letter, write a review on the doctor, go to the office and discuss this with the doctor...make a statement! 

ebrumini9782

Thank you so much for all of your support. This comment didn't come from our OB but it came from my primary doctor. I immediately reported this to the Patient Representative, whom told me " We cannot give you any information regarding this matter due to confidentiality" I preceded to file a complaint with the Office of Civil Rights as there was a lot more that went on I'm just feeling too lazy to type it all. 

Being in the LGBT community and now the LGBT parenting community is tough, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I know our child will love me and my partner just the same and will receive more love than any other child.  

ebrumini9782

@Flygirl1228 I love your suggestion about writing a letter and burning it. I did the same thing in my therapy and it was so therapeutic for me.