Intimacy Indicator?

MrsCase1

OK, this typically proves for a good discussion and I like to know the types of ladies that I keep company with.

I have never farted in front of my husband. Ever. Not even after having a c/s. I am just not interested in introducing that aspect to our relationship. My mom has never farted in front of my dad, either. Besides, DH farts enough for the both of us. (I maybe even wish a little that he didn't fart in front of me but that's a whole 'nother Oprah!)

Anyway, I told this to a girlfriend and she was horrified. She reasoned that DH and I will never have true intimacy until I can "resolve" this. She reasons that bodily functions are related to fully letting our guards down. For what it is worth, she takes fatty dumps with the door open while conversing with her DH, ha!

So....where do you stand on this major life issue?

jshrop

Ummm. DH and I have been together for 14 years, and other than the occasional slip (which no one really acknowledges) we don't fart in front of each other. That being said, I wouldn't say there's any lack of intimacy. I think your friend is confusing being respectful for lack of being open with each other. Just because I'm not obnoxious and shit in front of my husband doesn't mean that he doesn't know all aspects of me.

JulieSmiles

jshrop said:

Ummm. DH and I have been together for 14 years, and other than the occasional slip (which no one really acknowledges) we don't fart in front of each other. That being said, I wouldn't say there's any lack of intimacy. I think your friend is confusing being respectful for lack of being open with each other. Just because I'm not obnoxious and shit in front of my husband doesn't mean that he doesn't know all aspects of me.

Absolutely! I understand that some couples are able to fart, poop, etc. in front of each other, but my DH and I don't. There is nothing lacking in our relationship or yours. Not every relationship is the same.

flerlgirl

I mean, sometimes the trumpet sounds whether I want it to or not. But I don't like fart in his face. I believe in letting my guard down but a girl has to keep a little mystery about herself. And since I am probably never shaving my legs again, the least I can do it let him think I hardly ever have gas. 

lellymine

I never do or have in front of DH. I got sick of him doing it so a few years ago I told him when he does that it makes me less attracted to him. He goes into another room ever since. We pee in front of each other but that's where the line is drawn.

babybean82

Yea I agree with pp I have only slipped a few times and farted in front of DH and those are ignored by both of us. I will not ever poo in front of him and I expect him to respect me enough not to do it in front of me. We are very close and intimate but I believe that there needs to be some mystery in a relationship to keep it interesting. 

rileymiller

DH def will let it rip and then laugh about it. Of course I always tell him it's disgusting! I never farted in front of him until I became pregnant! My first trimester was especially bad bc it was all the time! I'll def go back to not doing it in front of him, but for now I blame it on our baby boy! And we both enjoy our bathroom privacy. No peeing or pooping in front of each other. That's gross.

MrsCase1

JulieSmiles said:

jshrop said:

Ummm. DH and I have been together for 14 years, and other than the occasional slip (which no one really acknowledges) we don't fart in front of each other. That being said, I wouldn't say there's any lack of intimacy. I think your friend is confusing being respectful for lack of being open with each other. Just because I'm not obnoxious and shit in front of my husband doesn't mean that he doesn't know all aspects of me.

Absolutely! I understand that some couples are able to fart, poop, etc. in front of each other, but my DH and I don't. There is nothing lacking in our relationship or yours. Not every relationship is the same.

Oh, pft! I definitely don't think farting is going to add anything and I am not contemplating changing it, I was just amused at her correlation. She is hardcore about it! LOL!

MrsCase1

shannonliggett said:

Im a fatty dumper with the door open conversing with BF. Represeeeent! But I think her comment about lack of intimacy because you cant fart in front of him is stupid. Everyone is different.

Glad I'm not the only one! I remember the first time I farted in front of my then-BF and can laugh about it. We also don't always close the bathroom door. Who's to say if it makes us more or less intimate? It's just who we are as a couple and we both embrace it.

I give mad props to any person who is their authentic self.

My authentic self likes to fart in private. LOL!

kbellizio3

Yea I tried so hard not to fart in front of DH while we were dating and then one day we got into a tickle fight. That was the end of that. We'll leave the door open when using the bathroom but rarely will he come in or will I go in (we only have one bathroom so sometimes it's unavoidable) but its not that we're not comfortable it's just that it's more like leave me alone when I'm pooping. Farting doesn't bother me as long as its just us. But your friend is kinda silly for saying that.

bebemac

There are no closed doors or secrets over here. I even make DH check out my poops.

LegalLadyBug

We've been together for almost 13 years, married for almost 6. We don't leave the bathroom door open or anything like that but if we have to fart, we do. Heck, when I was recovering from major surgery during my pregnancy with DD he had to wipe my butt in the hospital because I just couldn't do it...he even helped me shower, and saw me poop while pushing DD out. We still love each other, I may even love him more for how sweet and helpful he was after my surgery. No secrets here :-/

puttyeast

I'm a gassy girl so it would be uncomfortable if I tried to never fart in from of my SO. I still remember when he told me in the first few weeks that we were dating that he knows a girl is comfortable when she farts in front of him. Like a "next step" in the relationship. We pee in front of each other but do not poop in front of each other (always closed doors).

With the pregnancy, we talk about my farting and pooping more. I remember one time, I said, "I hope I poop tomorrow, I haven't pooped in 5 days." He responded, "Oh, I hope so too," as if it was a totally normal conversation. And then he laughed, realizing how our conversations had changed because of the pregnancy.

LadyMacaron

Nope. I don't want to hear his farts (or smell them) nor would I ever want to see him poop. In 7 years, I've have never knowingly farted (I don't know what happens while sleeping! lol) in front of him. And he has never seen me use the bathroom. Although when I had my laparoscopy, he had to help me put my undies back on after...That's love. I like to keep some things private in our relationship, and my bathroom habits are one of them. After 7 years, I think after IF we are as intimate as you can get, I'm not aching for more.

MrsRahl

My mom told me early on when I started dating that the "freedom to fart" is definitely a must in a relationship!! haha however I grew up in a very open, walking around naked, farting, burping, etc. family.  I never farted in front of any of my boyfriends OR my family until I met my DH.  He is a farting machine, and one day I wanted to even the score.  Never looked back and we both find it funny and kind of oddly endearing!! haha

PinkPrettyKitty

>< We do that in front of each other all the time. Him more so. We've never had an issue with it. And then the dog joins in....The choice is yours! I don't see it as an issue if you do or not! Whatever you feel comfortable with.

Luna C

I think we were farting in front of each other by the six-week mark of dating. That just doesn't phase me. 

He will gladly piss or poop in front of me: Just after we moved in together I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom and he just waltzed in telling me a story and proceded to pee a foot away from me. I nearly died. He had no idea that was not cool. I have since learned to deal with his lack of boundaries in this area -- and he has learned to reel in it to "emergencies only" times. (If I'm in the shower and he really cannot wait to go downstairs to the other bathroom, he can pee and I won't freak out, for example.)

The one thing he will NOT do is wipe if I can see him. So he'll be in the powder room telling me a long complicated story while he's shitting, then say, "Oh, hold on, you can't see this." He'll close the door for two seconds, then open it up to flush and continue his story.  [smh]

I am not that free with him, although living with Mr. Exhibitionist has made me a little less guarded in this area. 

I will note too that he sleeps in the nude. Even for naps. I wear full PJs in all weather. I think some people are just hardwired not to care about this stuff while some of us ... def. care.

MissBHaven1024

DH and I have been together for 10 years this May (married for 3 in May), and I have never farted in front of him either, not even during childbirth. It's just something I can't bring myself to do. I don't think we are lacking in intimacy because of it. I'll pee in front of him, burp and belch, and cuss like a sailor...but farting?? I just can't do it! He appreciates that too!

allrightmeow

We fart, we burp.  I like my private bathroom time.  

hscoggins

I understand people's preference for privacy, but I'm an open book. I think I farted in front of my H like 2 weeks into our relationship 10 years ago and instead of being horrified (I'm sure he was a little surprised), he laughed and I knew we would have longevity. Hell, my friends, their husbands, H and I all fart in front of each other. Maybe we're a strange breed, but we've been friends since childhood so it's just second nature.

My H and I talk about our poops often. But I'm also a nurse so bodily functions are part of my job. No shame in our house!

MamaTree17

I think the tie to intimacy is just silly. My husband has serious digestive issues and while I wish he farted in front of me less mostly because it smells horrendous, it's not like I'm thinking about it during sex. That said, I was even the one to fart in front of him first when we were dating - by accident - but it broke the ice I guess.

nunzchucks

Natalie78W said:

We fart, we burp.  I like my private bathroom time.  

This is us!

babygabe614

Nope, not us. Neither DH nor I will (intentionally) fart around each other and most definitely do not use the bathroom and keep the door open. I think he has gone pee like once or twice while I was in the shower and we were at a hotel so we had to share one bathroom. He got out of there as fast as he could because I started talking his ear off and the man just wanted a peaceful pee, lol! At home we have 3 bathrooms and only 2 people living in the house so there's no reason why either of us would ever barge in on the other.

We have had friends think it's weird that we don't do this stuff in front of each other, but to us it's a level of respect we have for each other not to do it. Plus, when my DH slips it clears a room so I'm glad he holds it in around me.

mjdavies

DH broke the fart barrier when we moved in together. Now that I'm so gassy, I just let them rip too. Sometimes I wish the farting wasn't so open because it can get pretty smelly. Peeing, yes. Pooping is off limits.

Kinipela7

I have never farted in front of DH either and he hasn't in front of me!   Also, when I have to poop, I make that my shower time and I turn on the shower while I'm pooping.  Yes, I'm weird!  I do however burp all the time in front of him.

katekat8721

I'm a gassy gal. The first night DH (just BF back then) and I slept together I totally farted a big, loud, trumpet like fart in my sleep right next to him. It was so loud it woke us both up. After that, little toots here and there were not embarrassing to say the least.

I do like my private bathroom time, but DH is annoying as hell and always wants to talk to me. If it's not him, it's the dogs whining outside the door. Leave me alone people!

jshrop

Haha!! @Kinipela7 my husband does the same thing!!! I don't necessarily want to know what's going on in there but I'm like "why are you wasting all that water?!"

hubbs173

DH and I have farted in front of each other but a lot of times if we can help it, we'll go in another room to fart. Especially now being pregnant, I'm a lot more gassy so I just let em rip! We like to call each other out when one of us farts in our sleep! That usually makes for lots of laughs, especially the other night when I had to wake DH up cuz his fart was so nasty!!! We totally pee in front of each other but pooping stays behind closed doors! I don't think there's any lack of intimacy in our relationship at all!!

snowpants

Grading anyone's intimacy based on if they pee/fart/poop etc in front of their SO is dumb.  Everyone had different preferences and it doesn't make one couple better or worse than another.

I, personally, would feel less intimate with my DH if we did all those things in front of each other on purpose because it would make our relationship feel more like a college guy friendship or something.  Again, that's how it would feel TO ME.  If it works for you then go on with your badass peeing/farting/pooping self! 

zolastele

Our only rule is no farting at the dinner table...gotta keep some level of decency in this house! Everything else is fair game. Personally I think farting in front of each other is fun, but I totally agree that every couple is different and that it is definitely not an indicator of level of intimacy.

FAWKES81

mtgrizgirl said:

Im a fatty dumper with the door open conversing with BF. Represeeeent! But I think her comment about lack of intimacy because you cant fart in front of him is stupid. Everyone is different.

This is me too!  For any other fatty dumpers out there PooPourri really does work! See the hilarious commercial here!

 

PinkKEL9

I'm surprised at how many women have never farted in front of their SO! How do you live with someone and not let that happen?? Not trying to be snarky at all but I just cant imagine holding it in. 

We definitely both fart in front of each other. Not on purpose but it happens and we both laugh. We only have one bathroom too so sometimes I will be in there getting ready while DH is popping. Or he will shower while I poop. We leave the door open sometimes too. I don't know, to us it just isn't a big deal at all. 

lcseip

I'm also one who using the bathroom/farts in front of the hubby and vice versa. I defiantly don't think that your relationship lacks intimacy because you choose not to.

Susanrush13

rileymiller said:

DH def will let it rip and then laugh about it. Of course I always tell him it's disgusting! I never farted in front of him until I became pregnant! My first trimester was especially bad bc it was all the time! I'll def go back to not doing it in front of him, but for now I blame it on our baby boy! And we both enjoy our bathroom privacy. No peeing or pooping in front of each other. That's gross.

Saaaaaame. I never ever did it but since being pregnant, I apparently do it all the time when I sleep. He knows it's baby related but I like having that bit of mystery, so we don't do bodily functions in front of each other. When he does fart, he usually says something or hopes I don't notice.

erind228

If I didn't fart in front of my husband I would explode. I'm more gassy than he is. I don't think it has anything to do with intimacy though.

nflan16

I can't imagine feeling like I can't fart in front of my husband. I don't intentionally let them rip in his direction, but when I'm home, I don't hold it in by any means. We've been together since age 17, and I think the first farting incident happened in college when he was staying over. Now that we live together, we are completely comfortable doing anything in front of each other. Last year I had major stomach issues and would have to run to the toilet even if he was in the bathroom, and he never stopped loving me haha

I should note that my husband is the only one I feel comfortable ripping ass in front of. I hold it in if I'm not home. But just last week, one slipped out in front of my sisters new boyfriend. It was so embarrassing. Luckily I could use the 'the baby made me do it' excuse. But still so humiliating haha

amackattack

The toots happen. Mine are generally loud but smell like nothing. His are silent and AWFUL!!!! The other day I was pooing at work and he texted me to ask if I had read an email he sent me. I said, I'm on the toilet. He said, I'm pooing too!!! Haha we thought it was hilarious we were both pooing at work at the same time. I always pee in front of him and he pees in front of me too. Pooing we try to keep the door closed. It would be interesting to know if he thinks I'm gross for these things. I know he would never admit to preferring I don't do these things.

ElTrain5

My bf in college and I would fart/pee in front of each other all the time, and it got to feel like there was absolutely NO mystery whatsoever. I prefer the way DH and I have it. We'll occasionally fart in front of one another, but it's alwsays a cute kind of thing..like I'll blame it on the dog, and he'll ask me if I also heard the tiny elephant run across the room. He still turns around when he changes pants in front of me, which I find hilarious. It's nice to have that kind of "privacy" even though we've obviously each seen each other naked. I've never pooped in front of anyone. I don't even think I could poop in front of a doctor if there was a medical need to do so.

arekeweg

When DH and I were dating we had a "talk" about farting in front of each other and ever since then, we both do it.  DH definitely does it more often than I do.  We will pee in front of each other but poop with a closed door.  I have no desire to see that happening!

Sareynoo

I'm sure the ladies on here that don't release gas around their DH do it unintentionally while sleeping! They hear it. Farting around him is the least I can do to pay him back for all that stink he lets out around me.

CrysW08

Dh & I don't fart in front of each other. My parents don't but his do. The 1st time he purposely did in front of me I was like "NOPE, we are not going to be one of those couples!" I think it's disgusting and unattractive. We already see each other at our worst, we don't need to add ass-stank to the list. I know anything can happen during birth but that's an exception.