I just found out that I'm 5 weeks pregnant but we'd like to wait til I'm at least 10 weeks before telling people. I'm wondering what white lies others have told their friends/family/coworkers to explain why they're not drinking during social gatherings?? We have a few family parties coming up and I'm always someone who indulges in a few glasses of wine normally, so people will definitely notice I'm not drinking. I'm looking for some easy, believable, white lies that I can use so people won't be suspicious! Any suggestions/feedback welcome!! Thanks!
I was out in Vegas for a business trip with my boss and a couple other coworkers when I first found out that I was pregnant. I told only one of my coworkers who helped me hide my secret. We alternated getting drinks for the group and the bartenders were really good about making the drinks virgin. It worked out pretty well. Plus the others were drinking so much that they didn't really pay attention to what I was drinking. some of my go-to drinks were cranberry with 7-up; or just sparking water with a couple of limes in it to look like a vodka tonic.
Even if they suspect that you are pregnant is it the end of the world? They don't know for sure and you can just say you don't feel up to it tonight. I never understood the drama of trying to hide pregnancy.
Its easy to pretend...get a glass of wine and pretend to sip, bring it to the bathroom and pour some down the sink. If DH is with you he can take sips of it while no one is looking.
If you are going to a restaurant, get there a bit early and talk to the waiter about subbing out your beer for a NA one. Order club soda and have them put it in a glass like its a real drink with a lime.
Its easy to pretend...get a glass of wine and pretend to sip, bring it to the bathroom and pour some down the sink. If DH is with you he can take sips of it while no one is looking.
If you are going to a restaurant, get there a bit early and talk to the waiter about subbing out your beer for a NA one. Order club soda and have them put it in a glass like its a real drink with a lime.
A
All this! The taking the bartender aside and doing the water in a glass with a lime is what I did at my company Christmas party and no one was the wiser. For the rest of the night I held a glass of wine and pretended to take sips every now and then - by that point everyone else was totally trashed and could not have cared less what I was doing! As far as a house party/family party I agree that you can share with your hubs and put a bit in the sink each time you go to the restroom. Or if you're a beer drinker, pour it down the sink and replace with water.
I've been to several holiday parties so far and honestly not one person has even asked why I'm not drinking. One event I sipped on cranberry juice with lime, the others just water. If someone asks just say you're the DD or something.
The other night my DH washed out some beer bottles (brown glass) and filled with ginger ale and sprite. Then we put the twist caps back on with a mark on the cap to show it was "mine". Worked like a charm and helped with my nausea- Especially with all the food and smells! Good luck and happy holidays!
When I was newly pregnant we had a ton of weddings coming up. I drank seltzer with lime and told everyone is was vodka/soda (they asked because I'm normally a wine drinker).
All of the tips so far work great! I really thought it was going to be a -lot- harder than it has been. I just carry around the same drink all night and dump some when I'm in the bathroom. Or get a fake one. A couple of times I didn't even have a drink and didn't even worry about it. No one said anything, but I think a few were suspicious. They will find out soon enough!
This is tough when u do have coworkers and friends and family who know you... I have a work meeting for 5 days at the end of January, and hopefully if I make it that long with being pg, I can tell people at the end of Tri 1. If I'm not drinking with my coworkers, that's the first thing they'll ask me. Last meeting when Was 5 weeks but subsequently miscarried, someone asked me why no drinking and I told them I was on some new meds and couldn't mix them. It went over just fine! But the water with a lime deal works best. What sucks is when you're at a table and waiter is taking orders, etc.... That's a tough one to fake.yesterday I used the excuse that I tied one on the night before. That also worked well!
I found out I was pregnant the day of my work holiday party. I swung by the bar a little in advance and talked to the bartender. I told him that I couldn't drink but I also didn't want to have my co-workers know. He said it was no problem and the entire night I was drinking "rum and coke's". He pretended to pour rum in my coke while keeping his finger over the spout. In addition, as a precaution, he told me he would put 2 sliced limes on my cup so I knew it was a non-alcoholic drink. When I paid for my drinks at the bar, he said out loud the cost of the alcoholic drink, while giving me back the change for a regular soda. I was thoroughly impressed with this bartender and the staff in the restaurant.
You'd be surprised! I'm 4 weeks and walked around at a holiday party this Saturday with a glass of wine. Put it down to take a picture and overheard a cousin (inlaws) say 'She isn't drinking!'.
My family is one to notice if I am not drinking. This summer my mom got married and then later had a larger reception. When I arrived at the party I said hello to everyone and was really thirsty so I asked where the drinks were kept. My aunt pointed out where the wine was, but I was looking for water or sprite even though I wasn't pregnant at the time. She looked at me strange when I opted for water instead. They are nosy and will definitely ask why I'm not drinking at Christmas dinner. I am only 4 weeks and I know its early, but I am sure I will share the wonderful news.
T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
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I'm five weeks pregnant, and was just at a New Years party so people definitely wanted to know why I wasn't drinking! I said that lately alcohol had been making me really sick and giving me bad hangovers, so I was taking a break. Everyone understood, and someone else was also not drinking - with the same story as me
At Christmas we told my family I was on an antibiotic and couldn't drink (which was true - was taking a z-PAC). I'm not a wine drinker and there's only 1 kind I like and my family gets it for me, so they definitely noticed. While I agree it's not anyone's business's, I do feel like its a normal thing for people to notice.
Why can't you just get one glass of wine and walk around with it all night? I feel like so many people freak over this question and their white lies or dancing around it just make it more obvious. Get a beverage, walk around like all is normal. If you act normal, no one will notice that you aren't actually drinking it.
@joy2611 did I miss your BFP?! I've been stalking TTGP!
I had a work trip right after I got BFP, my coworkers know I'm a beer and wine drinker when we're on business trips. I played it off like I had been sick and was on meds that I couldn't mix with alcohol, worked like a charm. A few weeks later we were at a get together and I walked around with a glass of wine and my SO would swap me when his got low, I also used the trying to cutback at another get together. Now we've shared the news but it was hard to keep it on the DL because our friends know how I normally am. Good luck!
We were waiting for a positive test at Thanksgiving (got a bfn instead) and while I was doing dishes with my sister she offered me a glass of wine but I didn't take it. Then she said "You didn't drink last night either." I said, "Are you kidding? That wasn't tea in my mug it was Baileys!" That calmed her down!
I know it may seems like nobody's business but seriously, if you are the person who always brings the wine, or has a new cocktail recipe to try at every family gathering people notice when you are not drinking.
My boss is taking me out to happy hour after a meeting next week-- I'm only 4 weeks pregnant now, and not ready to tell, so I can't quite figure that one out!
Some onset people just notice everything and need explanation. I agree that is easier to tell them you are antibiotics. Then you will get the next question "for what?" Then just say you have a near infection or something and you can't mix alcohol!
If anyone asks me at BIL's birthday tomorrow, I am planning to say that my back hurts (which it does) and I took a muscle relaxant (which I obviously didn't) so I don't want to mix drugs with alcohol.
FYI the best way to tip people off is to offer an explanation before they ask, or worse, if your DH/SO tries to tell them as well. If he's all like "NO DON'T GIVE HER THAT DRINK SHE IS TAKING ANTIBIOTICS" they are going to be like "wtf, why is he even telling me this? She must be pg."
I went to lunch with my brother at an Irish pub and I usually drink with him and he kept insisting to buy me a drink. All I could think of was my stomach was hurting. Lol. Totally need to come up with a better excuse
Honestly, I would just claim that my stomach was upset from something I ate earlier and I didn't want to irritate it further. At that point I would let them think what they will.
“Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.” — The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Whilst I am not religious, most of the people in my circle are Mormon, so it isn't really an issue for me, however before I moved here I had a social circle that was quite the opposite, and was legitimately on medication that prevented drinking for well over 6 months. People accept it very easily and don't get suspicious at all - it's rather common. Heck, if you wanted to add to the charade, you can always put tic tacs in a pill bottle
I don't know how you feel about it, but what about the alcohol free wine? Sutter Home Fre? It actually doesn't taste bad. Just pour 1 glass and take a sip or two and carry it around.
Mom to Abigail & Liliana -- Identical Twin Girls -- April 2008 Baby #3 due September 12, 2014!
All of my friends knew that we are/were going through fertility treatments so they know my husband and I aren't drinking because of that...we're just keeping up the act (for him) a little while longer until we're further along in the pregnancy. You could just say you made a new year's resolution to be healthier.
If you're with someone that knows (SO, Hubs, BFF, whoever), you can do the beer switcharoo (may I suggest pounders, as they aren't see through). I've even had my Hubs take mine, dump it in the bathroom and fill it with water. Hiding and hydrating! When I'm out with just friend, I'll just order one and hold on to it or order a few (yes, the money aspect here kind of sucks) and throw them away myself so now one knows. I went out last night and told the bartender what was up. I had sprite/cran with a lime- looks like a vodka/cran. You could use tonic or soda water too.
I know a lot of people say folks are being nosy and it's none of their business and they're 100% right but honestly, lots of family and friends have good times that include a beer or 2 (or more! Hah!) and not having one will make people raise an eyebrow. Just the way some groups work! I'll be happy when I can drop the front!
Antibiotics or UTIs work as an excuse. I had a lot of events like this in my early pregnancy and I drank cranberry juice with club soda, which looked like cranberry and vodka.
When we told one of our friends we were expecting, his reaction was "OMG! She hasd VODKA last night". DH had to explain my sneaky tactics.
At one of the functions, I just didn't drink AND I had to throw up several times. I was certain someone would say something, but no one did. People are far less perceptive than we think.
Poured out my beer at a house party on Saturday and refilled it with Perrier... It was certainly interesting being the only sober one by the end of the night, watching all the drunkos do their thing... :-P
Re: Too early to share pregnancy news: what do I tell people for why I'm not drinking!!??
Personally if I'm not drinking: I don't feel obligated to explain myself. But if someone asks you could say:
Savannah Mommy and Daddy can't wait to meet you.
-I dont feel like it tonight
- just get of my case yo!
Married DH 9/30/2011 - TTC #1 since 11/2012
BFP 5/30/2013 EDD 2/8/2014 M/C blighted ovum 7/5/2013 8 weeks 3 days
BFP 11/16/2013 Beautiful, perfect heartbeat 12/9/2013 EDD 7/31/2014 Please be our rainbow baby!
This!
Baby Boy due October 2017
Baby Boy due October 2017
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
FYI the best way to tip people off is to offer an explanation before they ask, or worse, if your DH/SO tries to tell them as well. If he's all like "NO DON'T GIVE HER THAT DRINK SHE IS TAKING ANTIBIOTICS" they are going to be like "wtf, why is he even telling me this? She must be pg."
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Baby #3 due September 12, 2014!
BFP #3 on 7/23/16 EDD 3/30/16
When I'm out with just friend, I'll just order one and hold on to it or order a few (yes, the money aspect here kind of sucks) and throw them away myself so now one knows.
I went out last night and told the bartender what was up. I had sprite/cran with a lime- looks like a vodka/cran. You could use tonic or soda water too.
I know a lot of people say folks are being nosy and it's none of their business and they're 100% right but honestly, lots of family and friends have good times that include a beer or 2 (or more! Hah!) and not having one will make people raise an eyebrow. Just the way some groups work! I'll be happy when I can drop the front!
DD: 8/20/14; DS: 11/13/16; DD: 5/3/19; DD: 8/31/21; Baby #5 (team green) due 3/24/24