Wow....

MamaFantastic

i read her post with my "former family-building home visitor" glasses on   truth be told, i'm jaded enough from witnessing what i used to see as i went into dozens of high-risk homes on a weekly basis that i tend to immediately go to the fact-based, solution-oriented track when hearing about stories of this nature.  it's me pretending i still work at my old job

the details of the living situation are interesting to me, but are definitely not going to change my mind about what should have been done in the first place.  but i do want to learn more, partly because i'm just very curious at this point and it really sounds a lot like the families i used to work with, and partly because i know the more info i/we have, the easier it might be to give some situation-specific tough love in a constructive way.  many other posters have also done that...  but i'm being my usual bossy self and i want more information first

also, i know what it feels like to make a stupid decision and get royally reamed out by a bunch of internet strangers.  it sucks.  so i want to extend the olive branch a bit and see if maybe i or others can offer some helpful feedback on what to do better next time, and how to handle the ongoing parental and safety issues that seem to be looming large in that house (because clearly there are MANY).

snmetz7

Wow I don't care if you've changed a hundred docking diapers for this kid. It's an innocent child an you are purposely letting it suffer to prove a point. I second every comment on here and am sorry that I opene this post.

Medic99

People like you are part of the child abuse problem. Not my kid so I can't help them out of a horrible situation. I do not like name calling on the internet but for you I am going to make an exception. You are an asshat.

katieharpiceland

Self righteous immaturity runs strong with this one. 

mrscrcalli

Hours later.. I'm still pissed. :-w

MamaFantastic

i was thinking about this more, and i wanted to add...

i think i'm trying to withhold wrath because in the end, we're hearing a story about a diaper that's not actually about the diaper itself...  it's about a screwed up family with selifsh priorities and an at-risk baby whose adult caregivers aren't acting in his/her best interest presently.  if we can somehow shed some insight into the situation and empower/educate the person who (arguably) seems to probably have the best chance of being protective and proactive in that house, despite the current preponderance of poor decision making...  it's likely to pay dividends far greater than just a clean diaper in the moment.

i guess i just don't want to miss the forest for the trees, you know?  the dirty diaper is just a physical manifestation of a far deeper problem, and that's what i'm after here.

Grovecenter

If you don't have any polite encouraging words to say to this woman then keep your mouth closed. If you want to be trashy and call the woman a curse word or what not, then take it somewhere else.

Bluebird2318

Grovecenter said:

If you don't have any polite encouraging words to say to this woman then keep your mouth closed. If you want to be trashy and call the woman a curse word or what not, then take it somewhere else.

I always know a response like this is coming when I see that the most recent post is from a person whose name I have never seen. :-q

avidkeo

What really disturbed me is the references to "the child" as if he/she is an inanimate object. Shows a complete lack of empathy and compassion. No attachment what so ever.

Bluebird2318

@MamaFantastic FWIW, I think your perspective is awesome and I totally respect you for having and sharing it. I just take issue with the fact that someone would intentionally sit there and do nothing for that poor baby and instead post on an internet forum about it. It is hard for me to find sympathy for anyone but the baby in that case. Still, I am glad you can see it in as unbiased a way as possible. That is a good trait and I heart you for it!

Medic99

You do realize that the feces sitting in that diaper are also attacking that poor babies skin...right? It eats it away and causes bleeding and blisters. How uncaring and unsympathetic can you be towards a child....omg. Just plain horrible to do to a child. I just can't even......

Serenla

Grovecenter said:

If you don't have any polite encouraging words to say to this woman then keep your mouth closed. If you want to be trashy and call the woman a curse word or what not, then take it somewhere else.

Watch this

OP you are being a twat, whether you are a troll or are just being an AW.




World didn't end, go back to March.

LittleLady77

Grovecenter said:

If you don't have any polite encouraging words to say to this woman then keep your mouth closed. If you want to be trashy and call the woman a curse word or what not, then take it somewhere else.

People come to the boards to get honest realistic feedback. Sometimes it hurts but it needs to be said. Hopefully the OP learned a bit of a lesson and maybe she will learn even more if she comes back and chats with @mamafantastic

jessicaemms9

I really hope that one of the pregnant mothers on A14 or another board reads this and is a CPS Worker. I'd love to read in the news how the child was given a new happy home and you/cousins are charged with child abuse.

katieharpiceland

Someone white knighted this OP? Seriously??!

danamarie421

Oh my goodness! I honestly wish I never opened this post. This just makes me so angry! That poor baby!!!! How could anyone let a child suffer in the name of spite?! I understand that maybe we don't know the whole situation that lead up to this, but I don't know, that just doesn't seem like an excuse to me! I usually try to be diplomatic and see a story from all sides before judging, but this seems pretty clear cut. OP, you are absolutely no better than your crappy cousin that you're complaining about!! If anything, this post makes you look worse!

Megczapla

I can understand frustration toward the cousin for immaturity/neglecting her child. However, what I do not understand is why make the LO suffer? He is innocent in this game and does not deserve to be the pawn. I would have changed his diaper and then definitely had some words with the cousin. It upsets me to think OP would just sit back and watch it all happen, regardless of the underlying issues etc. Take action. Do something. This is a child we're talking about here.

katieharpiceland

Obviously this is more than one child we're talking about here. Grow up before you have children OP!!

JessieAlbin

So. Much. Damn. Hate. Glad I slept through this one. Agreed with PP, you have no "atta girl" on this one. Way to suck at life and broadcast it to the Internet. Get your priorities in line, lady. If a child is being neglected in front of you, it IS your job as a decent human being who knows better to do something about it. Before a fucking hour goes by. "Sorry kid, your parents suck so MY kid gets a bath while you sit in feces for an hour." I can't even fathom what kind of callous attitude your kid is going to grow up with. Would it have killed you to change that diaper and come in here bitching "I just changed ANOTHER shitty diaper because these people suck?" A few minutes of your life. Ugh. I can't. %-(

edoliesmom

@klscas I'm interested in your response to @MamaFantastic You don't have to let us know you're letting your guard down, but please, for the sake of your baby cousin, read all the positives and realize that you can be a blessing in that baby's life by being his voice and doing for him what his parents won't. He didn't choose his parents. He doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.

mrscrcalli

The white knight flagged me twice in this thread?!?!?!?! %-(

AriaAmante143

mrscrcalli said:

The white knight flagged me twice in this thread?!?!?!?! %-(

M14 here. We don't claim the idiot white knight. Continue to bash away, you guys are totally in the right

mrscrcalli

Dirty pirate hooker!!!

Serenla

mrscrcalli said:

The white knight flagged me twice in this thread?!?!?!?! %-(

Wow she is a twat as well.

1983sas

I also am wondering whose house they are at...if it is OPs house, why not just throw out the game system?  I sure wouldn't be okay with adults playing a stupid game while an infant is just what...watching them play video games, sitting in a dirty diaper?  Sounds like a real pair of winners.  

Poor baby sitting in that mess for so long

Serenla

Disclaimer

Not all gamers are like this.


Carry on.

AcaAwkward

Well this was fun to see on my Saturday afternoon check in.

Way to give zero fucks about an innocent child, OP.

Christ on a cracker.

Medic99

All I can say at this point is I really really really hope this is MUD and did not really happen. Still makes me sick to think about. OP how about trying to be part of the solution instead of being part of the problem. Your lack of actions put you on the same low level as the mother ignoring her child in a time of need.

maelic

OP, if you weren't a shitty human being you'd call CPS on the parents yourself.

But apparently you're a lazy douche about that too.

Twiggymommy

This HAS to be mud.
Please tell me this is mud.

*goes to happy place*

no but really. I have a 3 year old step son so by the op's logic does this mean I should just let him sit in his own filth while dh is at work.? Seriously Wtf op

BiggerinRealLife

I don't think it's MUD. Mud usually comes back to keep stirring the drama. OP honestly seemed surprised and defensive that we weren't on her side. Sad sad sad sad sad.

Edrami

I agree with one of the PPs she should've just changed the diaper and thrown it in the mothers lap or at least disconnected the damn game. The same thing happened when my cousin from out of town came to visit and brought her child. She let my aunt take care of him while she drank and let him do whatever. You best believe we put her in her place. She was so pissed but shit she wanted to be a parent right?

PrimRoseMama

OP you seem like a piece of shit human being. It frightens me that you would let an innocent child sit around in it's own filth because you can't be bothered. If the kid's parents are shitty then that is on them. You knew there was an issue and you allowed it to continue because you are upset with this baby's mother? How lacking in compassion can you be?

I normally don't jump on the "omg you are a bad mom" train, but JFC, appearing to be (note for TOS purposes yo) shitty excuses for human beings when it comes to helpless minors must run in your family.

Call CPS please. Your kids probably need help too.

Holy hell.

dontgiveupnomatterwhat

Chiming in...I'm not quite sure what you expected people to say to this post, but it's pretty fucking inhumane to leave a child in a dirty diaper. Do you have a fucking heart at all? I'm sorry, I don't find it inconvenient to give any child, mine or not, food, diaper or clothing changes...let alone a smooch or a hug. It's a fucking baby, not an ex husband. You don't live it to fiend for itself. There are people who would do ANYTHING just to have one child, and here you are with your thumb up your ass neglecting the welfare of a child because you are trying to prove a point.
What a gem.

PrimRoseMama

@grovecenter : abuse of the flag button will get you banned. Stop it.

janastephanie

Change the diaper. YOU. Period. Goodbye.

valstulas

Dude, if you're not willing to help with an obviously neglected kid, why don't you call CPS instead of wasting time bitching about it on here. Also, please don't refer to the baby as "it."

Sisimama10

dontgiveupnomatterwhat said:

Chiming in...I'm not quite sure what you expected people to say to this post, but it's pretty fucking inhumane to leave a child in a dirty diaper. Do you have a fucking heart at all? I'm sorry, I don't find it inconvenient to give any child, mine or not, food, diaper or clothing changes...let alone a smooch or a hug. It's a fucking baby, not an ex husband. You don't live it to fiend for itself. There are people who would do ANYTHING just to have one child, and here you are with your thumb up your ass neglecting the welfare of a child because you are trying to prove a point.
What a gem.

Lmao at the ex husband comparison. Nailed it.

tcwink

You complaining about the situation instead of actually doing something about it puts you on the same level as this kids parent. Way to go you! =D>

kwolslager

I called CPS on my BIL and his wife before. They have a crap ton of kids. They don't do anything all day but sit around and watch TV. The older kids constantly talk about how they don't have any clothes that fit them, that they don't have soap for showers, or eye glasses to participate in school.
There's old food and filth on every surface of the house and the two youngest who are under a yo are always sick from eating rotten things off the floor. The kids always have lice. They sleep on bare mattresses that are riddled with bed bugs. The older kids skip school sometimes so they can take care of the younger ones while the parents take naps, watch TV, or read.
Do I say "not my kids not my problem?" No. These kids are not even my blood and I do everything I can to help. My MIL and I spent a week while the parents were vacationing, cleaning their house, treating for lice, etc. I coupon for personal hygiene and care products and give it to the older girls. I volunteer to watch the younger ones so I can give them a proper bath.
I love and care for them, and that's why I do it. And calling CPS was actually a great experience to get the parents to snap back into reality.
You make me sick for not helping that poor baby. He can get blisters you know. Causing extreme pain and discomfort. How does that prove your point?