Would like to meet similar TTCers :)

Brandiwine14

I posted in the newbie thread, but I decided to make a new post to meet other TTCers in my age group in similar life circumstances. Need some serious encouragement here!!

"Im 22 years old and just recently got married in June to my best friend and soul mate. I'm a servant of the Lord first and foremost, and I'm also a housewife, stepmother, small business owner, piano teacher, and a senior music student at a university. I have no children of my own, but I do have a 6 year old stepson who is very near and dear to me. DH and I have been TTC (sort of?) since we got married. We are currently on our 9th cycle... I say sort of because we don't track ovulation or use any fertility meds; we just bd every day and hope for the best. Unfortunately many of my friends and family around me have become pregnant during the time that we have been taking the if-it-happens-it-happens approach, neither "trying" nor preventing, and we are starting to get frustrated. I am a Christian, so I'm learning to leave this in God's hands, but I also know that The Lord helps those who help themselves, so here I am in the TTC forums trying to discover the secret to getting pregnant;) I was involved in some other TTC forums, but the environment was not very positive. I grew tired of seeing members gang up on another member and harass them continually for saying or doing something they were not in agreement with, so I came here. I hope the narrowed focus on TTC on these forums will help prevent a lot of the high school name calling and harassing that goes on when people disagree on broader issues.

So here I am!! I'm really hoping I find one or two friends on here who are my age and are going through a similar situation. It would be so encouraging to have someone to talk to who understands! "

janda426

Brandiwine14 said:

I posted in the newbie thread, but I decided to make a new post to meet other TTCers in my age group in similar life circumstances. Need some serious encouragement here!!

"This is my very first post in these forums, so I'd like to introduce myself first of all! Im 22 years old and just recently got married in June to my best friend and soul mate. I'm a servant of the Lord first and foremost, and I'm also a housewife, stepmother, small business owner, piano teacher, and a senior music student at a university. I have no children of my own, but I do have a 6 year old stepson who is very near and dear to me. DH and I have been TTC (sort of?) since we got married. We are currently on our 9th cycle... I say sort of because we don't track ovulation or use any fertility meds; we just bd every day and hope for the best. Unfortunately many of my friends and family around me have become pregnant during the time that we have been taking the if-it-happens-it-happens approach, neither "trying" nor preventing, and we are starting to get frustrated. I am a Christian, so I'm learning to leave this in God's hands, but I also know that The Lord helps those who help themselves, so here I am in the TTC forums trying to discover the secret to getting pregnant I was involved in some other TTC forums, but the environment was not very positive. I grew tired of seeing members gang up on another member and harass them continually for saying or doing something they were not in agreement with, so I came here. I hope the narrowed focus on TTC on these forums will help prevent a lot of the highschool name calling and harassing that goes on when people disagree on broader issues.

So here I am!! I'm really hoping I find one or two friends on here who are my age and are going through a similar situation. It would be so encouraging to have someone to talk to who understands! "

Oh dear. Well, welcome, I hope you lurk around a little (or a lot). Make sure you read the newbie blog linked in the newbie thread you mentioned.

JemmaWRX

I would spend some time lurking to see if this place is a good fit for you. There is some great information but the members here will give it to you straight. No nonsense, no bullshit. Best of luck to you!

CTbride79

Welcome!  One thing I will point out to you, is that you may be having too much sex (for TTC purposes) if you are doing it every single day?  I have heard it recommended that you only BD every other day during the time you are fertile, in order to increase sperm count each time you have sex.  

Brandiwine14

Thanks! I became a member a while back and have done some lurking, but never posted. I posted in the other forums I mentioned.

janda426

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months??

Ow.

gscoville

janda426 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months?? Ow.

I puckered as soon as I read that little tidbit, double OW!! X_X

Brandiwine14

I have heard this, too!! DH has agreed to try every other day this month, so we will see. Having sex everyday is not necessarily our TTC plan, that is just how it happens :-/

Brandiwine14

janda426 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months??

Ow.

Yes! Except during AF... Is that not normal? lol

gscoville

Brandiwine14 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months?? Ow.

Yes! Except during AF... Is that not normal? lol

Nope, it's extremely abnormal.

Brandiwine14

And we didn't have the "quoting" option in the other forums, so please forgive me as I try to get used to using it!

Brandiwine14

gscoville said:

Brandiwine14 said:

janda426 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months??

Ow.

Yes! Except during AF... Is that not normal? lol

Nope, it's extremely abnormal.

Someone besides me needs to tell that to DH!! ☺

Brandiwine14

tigger99 said:

I would make sure to check out the newbie blog. Also I would look into FertilityFriend.com and do the tutorials and maybe think about starting to temp.

Also if you started trying in June how is this your 9th cycle? unless your cycles are really short?

Welcome and good luck.

I keep a calendar and have counted my cycles. I was half way through my cycle when we got married so I'm counting that and I just started my 9th cycle yesterday They are usually between 27-29 days, so pretty normal.

amberhoothoot

Brandiwine14 said:

Brandiwine14 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months?? Ow.

Yes! Except during AF... Is that not normal? lol

Nope, it's extremely abnormal.

Someone besides me needs to tell that to DH!! ☺

Woah even at 22 and being a newlywed that sounds exhausting...lol.

Also curious on the 9th cycle thing.

TeeJ526

Brandiwine14 said:

::SNIP

I am a Christian, so I'm learning to leave this in God's hands, but I also know that The Lord helps those who help themselves, so here I am in the TTC forums trying to discover the secret to getting pregnant;) I was involved in some other TTC forums, but the environment was not very positive. I grew tired of seeing members gang up on another member and harass them continually for saying or doing something they were not in agreement with, so I came here. I hope the narrowed focus on TTC on these forums will help prevent a lot of the high school name calling and harassing that goes on when people disagree on broader issues. So here I am!! I'm really hoping I find one or two friends on here who are my age and are going through a similar situation. It would be so encouraging to have someone to talk to who understands! "

Welcome!

I'm trying to figure out which other TTC sites had members gang up on each other. I thought all of the other well known sites were all about baby dust and "Squee! You're totes pregnant!".

Brandiwine14

tigger99 said:

Brandiwine14 said:

tigger99 said:

I would make sure to check out the newbie blog. Also I would look into FertilityFriend.com and do the tutorials and maybe think about starting to temp.

Also if you started trying in June how is this your 9th cycle? unless your cycles are really short?

Welcome and good luck.

I keep a calendar and have counted my cycles. I was half way through my cycle when we got married so I'm counting that and I just started my 9th cycle yesterday They are usually between 27-29 days, so pretty normal.

1-June
2-July
3-August
4 September
5 October
6 November
7 December....

Am I counting wrong? Not trying to be bitchy or anything I am just confused.

also sorry about CD1. I really would look into temping at this point to figure out your FW.


No, you are not counting wrong! I double checked: cycle I was on when I got married + June 21+July17+Aug 14+ Sep 10+ October 6 + nov 3 + Nov 30. That makes 8 so obviously I had lost count. Sorry!

Brandiwine14

Also, I'm going to try OPKs this month. Is temping better?

ngolimento

I'd get a flyswatter and chase H off if he tried to have sex with me daily. Well...maybe it has to do with style differences. I'm always sore for a day when we're done swinging from the chandeliers.

Brandiwine14

amberhoothoot said:

Brandiwine14 said:

gscoville said:

Brandiwine14 said:

janda426 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months??

Ow.

Yes! Except during AF... Is that not normal? lol

Nope, it's extremely abnormal.

Someone besides me needs to tell that to DH!! ☺

Woah even at 22 and being a newlywed that sounds exhausting...lol.

Also curious on the 9th cycle thing.

It is for me... I don't get a chance to crave it and it bugs me. DH knows this, but I just try to keep up.

Brandiwine14

Peledreamsofrain said:

I'd get a flyswatter and chase H off if he tried to have sex with me daily. Well...maybe it has to do with style differences. I'm always sore for a day when we're done swinging from the chandeliers.

Me, too, but it hurts his feelings when I say no and that's even worse to me. I'm a people pleaser, I admit.

amberhoothoot

Brandiwine14 said:

Brandiwine14 said:

Brandiwine14 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months?? Ow.

Yes! Except during AF... Is that not normal? lol

Nope, it's extremely abnormal.

Someone besides me needs to tell that to DH!! ☺

Woah even at 22 and being a newlywed that sounds exhausting...lol.

Also curious on the 9th cycle thing.

It is for me... I don't get a chance to crave it and it bugs me. DH knows this, but I just try to keep up.

Is DH young too? Cause my DH is 29 and even he was exhausted after I ovulated late one month and we ended up doing it 13 days in a row. 

Stinks he isn't hearing you on wanting more time between.

ngolimento

Brandiwine14 said:

I'd get a flyswatter and chase H off if he tried to have sex with me daily. Well...maybe it has to do with style differences. I'm always sore for a day when we're done swinging from the chandeliers.

Me, too, but it hurts his feelings when I say no and that's even worse to me. I'm a people pleaser, I admit.

Wait, he gives you grief if you are in pain and don't want sex?  Real men know how to think beyond selfish needs and just take care of themselves occasionally.  Think about it in reverse, what if he was hurt, and you didn't care and forced him to do something that physically hurt?  You'd be a massive bitch.  Same standard, both ways.

Brandiwine14

amberhoothoot said:

Brandiwine14 said:

amberhoothoot said:

Brandiwine14 said:

gscoville said:

Brandiwine14 said:

janda426 said:

Also, you've had sex every day for 9 months??

Ow.

Yes! Except during AF... Is that not normal? lol

Nope, it's extremely abnormal.

Someone besides me needs to tell that to DH!! ☺

Woah even at 22 and being a newlywed that sounds exhausting...lol.

Also curious on the 9th cycle thing.

It is for me... I don't get a chance to crave it and it bugs me. DH knows this, but I just try to keep up.


Is DH young too? Cause my DH is 29 and even he was exhausted after I ovulated late one month and we ended up doing it 13 days in a row. 

Stinks he isn't hearing you on wanting more time between.

He's 27. I just hang on to the fact that he won't always have so much drive and try to let him enjoy it. What would suck is if I'm wrong and he is always this way lol!

Brandiwine14

.

Brandiwine14

DarcyHermione said:

TeeJ526 said:

Brandiwine14 said:

::SNIP

I am a Christian, so I'm learning to leave this in God's hands, but I also know that The Lord helps those who help themselves, so here I am in the TTC forums trying to discover the secret to getting pregnant;) I was involved in some other TTC forums, but the environment was not very positive. I grew tired of seeing members gang up on another member and harass them continually for saying or doing something they were not in agreement with, so I came here. I hope the narrowed focus on TTC on these forums will help prevent a lot of the high school name calling and harassing that goes on when people disagree on broader issues.

So here I am!! I'm really hoping I find one or two friends on here who are my age and are going through a similar situation. It would be so encouraging to have someone to talk to who understands! "

Welcome!

I'm trying to figure out which other TTC sites had members gang up on each other. I thought all of the other well known sites were all about baby dust and "Squee! You're totes pregnant!".

This is concerning, we are pretty no nonsense over here and I thought they all considered us the "mean girls". Maybe we have competition?



No nonsense is a good thing. Being blunt is even a good thing in a lot of cases. But when something someone says follows them around in every thread they post in and they can never live it down, that is when it is over the top. But I realize that is just how people are... it might even be here. I just needed a change of scenery.

Brandiwine14

Not necessaril

Peledreamsofrain said:

Brandiwine14 said:

Peledreamsofrain said:

I'd get a flyswatter and chase H off if he tried to have sex with me daily. Well...maybe it has to do with style differences. I'm always sore for a day when we're done swinging from the chandeliers.

Me, too, but it hurts his feelings when I say no and that's even worse to me. I'm a people pleaser, I admit.

Wait, he gives you grief if you are in pain and don't want sex?  Real men know how to think beyond selfish needs and just take care of themselves occasionally.  Think about it in reverse, what if he was hurt, and you didn't care and forced him to do something that physically hurt?  You'd be a massive bitch.  Same standard, both ways.

Not necessarily... he's a sweetheart and we've discussed how I feel about it and he understands. Trust me, it has gotten better... don't want to give TMI on that note. But yeah, you are right, he makes me feel guilty and he knows that's wrong, too. He has actually talked to someone about having a sexual addiction so I just feel bad for him and don't want to fight him about it.

janda426

Brandiwine14 said:

Not necessaril

Brandiwine14 said:

I'd get a flyswatter and chase H off if he tried to have sex with me daily. Well...maybe it has to do with style differences. I'm always sore for a day when we're done swinging from the chandeliers.

Me, too, but it hurts his feelings when I say no and that's even worse to me. I'm a people pleaser, I admit.

Wait, he gives you grief if you are in pain and don't want sex?  Real men know how to think beyond selfish needs and just take care of themselves occasionally.  Think about it in reverse, what if he was hurt, and you didn't care and forced him to do something that physically hurt?  You'd be a massive bitch.  Same standard, both ways.

Not necessarily... he's a sweetheart and we've discussed how I feel about it and he understands. Trust me, it has gotten better... don't want to give TMI on that note. But yeah, you are right, he makes me feel guilty and he knows that's wrong, too. He has actually talked to someone about having a sexual addiction so I just feel bad for him and don't want to fight him about it.

If he's a sex addict then that's a battle he'll have to keep working on, not just have one or two. conversations about. It's not fair to you that it's so one sided. If it keeps up that way you'll start to resent him..

ngolimento

Brandiwine14 said:

Not necessaril

Brandiwine14 said:

I'd get a flyswatter and chase H off if he tried to have sex with me daily. Well...maybe it has to do with style differences. I'm always sore for a day when we're done swinging from the chandeliers.

Me, too, but it hurts his feelings when I say no and that's even worse to me. I'm a people pleaser, I admit.

Wait, he gives you grief if you are in pain and don't want sex?  Real men know how to think beyond selfish needs and just take care of themselves occasionally.  Think about it in reverse, what if he was hurt, and you didn't care and forced him to do something that physically hurt?  You'd be a massive bitch.  Same standard, both ways.

Not necessarily... he's a sweetheart and we've discussed how I feel about it and he understands. Trust me, it has gotten better... don't want to give TMI on that note. But yeah, you are right, he makes me feel guilty and he knows that's wrong, too. He has actually talked to someone about having a sexual addiction so I just feel bad for him and don't want to fight him about it.

Awesome, that's really good he's working on it, and recognizing that it's not ok to make you feel guilty.  This is especially important if you do get pregnant, and need him to leave you the heck alone for six weeks after delivery.

Brandiwine14

Yes, Im thankful that he is willing to talk to someone when he knows he has a problem. Not a lot of men will do that... he has toned it down a notch which is why I thought once a day was probably the norm. I guess not? I've asked about it before and everyone just told me I should enjoy it while I can.

ngolimento

Everyone is different, tbh.  I personally don't like to have sex more often than a couple times a week (especially while on BC, that stuff ruins the libido).  

I had a BF once that almost wanted it daily, but even he was more of an every other day kinda guy.  

Brandiwine14

Thank you ladies for all of the advice. I really appreciate it!

jamjoyful

I just want to say welcome and good luck! I think everyone else covered the rest

TheBorg7of9

Although usually, every day would be fine. You might want to try every other day, since every day is not working for you.

mikescutie7

Hi I'm not in the same boat as you as we've only started TTC but I too am just learning about charting and stuff. I am a Christian as well and if you need a friend I'm here

Brandiwine14

mikescutie7 said:

Hi I'm not in the same boat as you as we've only started TTC but I too am just learning about charting and stuff. I am a Christian as well and if you need a friend I'm here

Awe thanks, girl! I hope getting a BFP happens quickly for you. I hate this waiting game! Is this for baby #1??

mikescutie7

Brandiwine14 said:

mikescutie7 said:

Hi I'm not in the same boat as you as we've only started TTC but I too am just learning about charting and stuff. I am a Christian as well and if you need a friend I'm here

Awe thanks, girl! I hope getting a BFP happens quickly for you. I hate this waiting game! Is this for baby #1??

Definitely feeling like this cycle is long! Yes this will be #1 for us, we've been married for nearly 2 years and feeling like the time is right.

Brandiwine14

funnibunni80 said:

DH and I have the opposite problem as you, OP.  He tried to meet me in the middle, which I appreciate, and I try to understand when he's dog tired.  Compromise is muy importante in a marriage.  Although, Since we've been TTC, I've been getting a lot more action, which makes me happy.    

Anyways, as far as having sex too often hurting your chances, According to the video "The Great Sperm Race", which is a FANTASTIC hour long informative you tube vid, it suggests that every 2- 3 days is the best frequency to have sex because you don't have a buildup of dead sperm from not ejaculating, nor a depletion of sperm from too much ejaculation.

You can watch the video here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SFOpHiS-tA

Good luck! 

P.S. I'm a June bride as well!  I was married on June 21st, was that your wedding day, or CD 1 for you?  

Thank you for the video! I saved it to watch later because it is so long and I
do not have access to wifi right now
, but it looks like something me and DH should watch. My wedding was on the 1st of June

MrsMac613

Welcome! June 1st bride here too! Happy 6 months today! Good luck on TTC!

luvmygirls22

Wait, he gives you grief if you are in pain and don't want sex?  Real men know how to think beyond selfish needs and just take care of themselves occasionally.  Think about it in reverse, what if he was hurt, and you didn't care and forced him to do something that physically hurt?  You'd be a massive bitch.  Same standard, both ways.

This. If you don't want to have sex one day he needs to respect that. Making you feel guilty for not doing it is very wrong.

agree with this ^^

Brandiwine14

Yay!! Happy six month to you, too! I didn't even realize it

Brandiwine14

luvmygirls22 said:

Wait, he gives you grief if you are in pain and don't want sex?  Real men know how to think beyond selfish needs and just take care of themselves occasionally.  Think about it in reverse, what if he was hurt, and you didn't care and forced him to do something that physically hurt?  You'd be a massive bitch.  Same standard, both ways.

This. If you don't want to have sex one day he needs to respect that. Making you feel guilty for not doing it is very wrong.



agree with this ^^


Yes... but as I stated earlier, my husband had a sexual addiction in addition to several other addictions all of which he has quit since we got married, so the fact that we are only having sex once per day is a forgivable offense lol Plus, I can't complain much because he is the best DH ever (mushy post of the day).