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Natural Birth
mrsedwards8812
member
Homebirth
mrsedwards8812
member
I had decided long ago that I wanted to have natural childbirth with my next baby. Now, after reading and research and being SO tired of dealing with unnecessary BS from the medical field, my husband and I have decided to plan for a homebirth. We've hired 2 wonderful ladies that have partnered together to offer doula services and, now that we've officially made this decision, are narrowing down our options to chose a midwife.
I wasn't real thrilled about how some things were shaping up for this pregnancy and birth experience. Now that we have read, talked and agreed on this choice, I'm starting to get excited and I'm confident that we will be able to make this experience wonderful for the small, immediate family who will be involved! :-)
Any suggestions on reading material, birthing methods, etc?
And please, if you feel the need to make a negative comment, down my choices, or try to give me information to "scare" me away from my choices...I would appreciate you simply not involving yourself in this thread.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Homebirth
@sschwege
I actually read through a couple threads here that "went bad" somewhere along the line due to differing opinions and such so I just figured I'd throw that in there :-p
Thanks for the welcome and the suggestion! I'm actually looking into Hypnobabies. I've read about both and a grand majority of the reviews I've come across say that, while they did find hypnobirthing helpful, that Hypnobabies is more complete and answers things that hypnobirthing left unaddressed or unanswered.
I think my biggest hang up is my self confidence/self doubt, so I'm being very careful to make sure I have the right people around so that I have an adequate support system. I do know that I can do it...even without something like hypnobabies; I know I have incredible strength...I just might need reminding, depending on how things go :-)
Thanks again!
How where you able to ease you family's worry about HB? I still haven't told them. Only DH and I know. But this is really what is holding me back. I'm so strong and decisive but the thought of telling my mother has me not sleeping.
Good luck and I look forward to exchanging more messages.
One excellent book to read: Gentle birth, Gentle mothering.
I highly recommend Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon. With our first, we took a short natural childbirth class through our MW. That plus reading Natural Childbirth was more than enough preparation for us. Actually, it's the only book I read again to prepare for HB 2 and 3.
I definitely recommend keeping an open mind about what you'll want in labor. With J., I had a birth tub available but wanted nothing to do with it. The only thing that felt right was rocking in our Amish rocking chair. I also pushed on my back (yup, the "worst" position) because it felt right and was working. Then with A., I couldn't wait to get into the tub. She ended up being a waterbirth (which I hadn't thought I do). But when I announced it was time to push, I had only been in the water about 15 minutes and in no way, shape, or form wanted to get out.
Then with S. my water broke about 2 days before contractions started. And I finally started contractions at night. They were very short and very far apart. I stayed in bed and slept between them. When my body told me it was time to change positions, I decided it was time for DH to fill the birth tub. But before he could do that, I realized that my body was telling me to be upright for pushing. And that he needed to catch the baby instead of filling the tub.
That's the long way of saying, you don't know what will work for you until you are in labor.
Also, congrats and welcome.
@Nancy1250
Be confident in your decision. If you have done research and thought it through, just tell them. (And this comes from someone who knew her family wouldn't be supportive at first.) If you appear confident, you can just say "We've decided to have a HB. We have done lots of reading and research and decided that's what's right for us."
If they pressure you to not have a HB, share your research or say "this is no longer open for discussion."
@Nancy1250
I agree with @barnwife I have done a lot of reading and research and am personally confident in my decision, as is my husband. I am not one to linger on or care much about what other people think of my choices, though I do understand that some people depend on their families to be a support system (mine has never filled that role very well so I'm just not one of those people).
I really came to this decision rather quickly. I hadn't considered it much at first because I really dislike where we are right now and it's not intended to be a long term home; that just turned me off to the idea. After the troubles I've had with the medical profession, in general, as well as specifically during this pregnancy, I started looking at alternatives. I spent an entire day looking up stats and reading articles and peoples stories, watching videos and whatnot and all of that helped me realize my opinion and kind of "remember" what I already know:
Our bodies were created for this. It is a natural occurrence and process. The medical profession has a place, when needed but, in many instances, do more harm than good by getting in the way of the natural process. They also seemed to have tricked women, as a general population, into thinking that we can't handle this or don't know how. We all have instincts and we should be not only allowed but encouraged to use them.
Of course, we (or at least I know I will) need a good support system to get through this experience. For me that will be my husband, my son, and a team of midwives and doulas (which is already 7 people). I may ask my aunt (my late-mother's sister) or a family friend (my mother's best friend) if one of them would like to be present. I've told the family friend that we're planning a homebirth and she was supportive. I've also told my father. His first response was, "Well, don't take any unnecessary risks." I explained my logic and that as long as no problems arise prior to labor, there should be no issues with being at home and if a problem should arise, the nearest hospital is only a few minutes up the road. after I said my piece, he's been completely supportive of the idea. (so far anyway...he has been known to flip flop a bit but if you knew my relationship with my father, you'd realize how much I just don't care!)
It is completely appropriate and within your right to tell anyone outside you and your husband that it's none of their business, not open for discussion, etc. especially if they choose not to be supportive. This is your and your husband's decision- no one else's!
And @barnwife
Thank you for sharing! I definitely plan to keep an open mind. I am of the opinion that it's better to have too many options than not enough. My husband is already helping to brainstorm about how we'll have to rearrange furniture and get some kind of tub/pool in here. (I do love that man- always so concerned with making sure I get not only what I need but what I want) I'm planning to have the water available for me to sit in simply because warm baths are something I use regularly anyway to help ease stomach pain from IBS as well as back pain from disk and nerve problems in my lower back. Also, so many women that I've read and watched in videos say that the warm water really helps just to deal with the pain/pressure/everything going on. Even if I don't stay in it for the birth, it just seems like a good idea. We'll also have our bed or an alternate bed available.
With my son, I was numb from my ribs down, for the delivery, so I don't know what felt right since I didn't feel anything! I usually find comfort in rocking/swaying on my hands/elbows and knees when my back pain flairs up real bad, so I imagine that might come into play at some point.
We have a while to sort through all the details though (EDD: 6/12) I'm sure we'll have everything we can ironed out in plenty of time! :-)
@joules235
Thanks for the input! I will definitely look into that book and I've told my father to get me the Hypnobabies home study course for my big Christmas gift this year. I've read so many good things about it and it seems like a great option for pain management.
As stated above, I definitely plan to have some kind of tub/pool available and I've seen right many women say they really liked using a birthing ball so I plan to look into that as well!
The trusting myself and my body I generally don't have a problem with...like I said, I know I can do this...I know I have more than enough strength... I also suffer from depressive symptoms and PTSD. Little things have the possibility to distract me or trigger certain feelings...self doubt happens to be a big one for me. This is a big reason for making sure I have the right support system around me for this experience and making sure that I am really building and setting us up for a truly good experience. At least, as much as I/we have control over. Hopefully with some extra self dedication and work over the rest of the pregnancy, I'll at least have started overriding some of the negative reinforcement that is stuck in my mind and I won't have many problems. Hell, I may not have any problems at all...I am VERY maternal. Once my instincts kick in, this may be a mute point anyway!
@joules235
lol "birth junkie"...I like it! What you said does indeed make sense to me. I know exactly what you mean. Even though I was numb for the delivery of my son, once everything was all said and done and I looked back over the pain I had felt and dealt with and just dealing with the whole situation being as young as I was, it was the most empowering feeling I had felt, to that point in my life. I think there's something just so powerful and moving about the whole idea of giving birth...perhaps we all become 'superior to our prior selves'.
By the way, your daughter (that's what DD is right?) was born on my birthday :-)
Yes, time certainly does fly! I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact that I will officially be the mother of a teenager in just a couple months!
Thanks and birthday hugs to the little one :-)
@Nancy1250
Feel free to PM me, if you'd like to talk!
@LOVEmyLUTZS
Thanks, I'll look into those! I'll have to email my doulas about all the book recommendations I'm getting and see if they have them available for me to borrow!
I'm sorry your husband can't seem to get on the same page with you...that's upsetting. I was actually kind of surprised my husband hasn't had more to say about it. I mean, he's always supportive of me and my choices, I guess I just was expecting at least more questions or something. He said his only concern was if I tear or something (his son was over 9lbs and 13" across his shoulders) my research and our doulas have assured him of all the preventative measures they take and the time allotted/considered appropriate for getting stitches...aside from that all I've gotten is, "You're the one that will be most at risk, I leave that decision to you." I guess he just really trusts my judgment..?
I will definitely post updates! It's so nice to have a place like this to be able to share what's going on and have people actually care and be supportive! I don't have much of that out here so it's nice to know I can find it somewhere!
Everyone that I've spoken to does have some sort of emergency plan; the doulas, for helping to make sure things stay on track as Mom would like and midwives, because everyone has to acknowledge that it is possible for things to go wrong or not as planned.
Personally, my doulas and midwives have already told me that they will stay with me through the entire process, no matter what that might turn out to be.
I can't wait to hear how things go for you! Prayers for a wonderful experience for you and baby!