Am I Crazy For Wanting To Start Gathering Baby Stuff?

jennalking2013

I am new to The Bump, and have already posted a question about TTC. As some of you may already know, this is my first time TTC. 

So, my new question is: 

Is it too soon for me to start gathering baby things (a crib, stroller, high chair, changing table, etc.)?

I just have this uncontrollable urge to go ahead and start gathering these things (non-gender specific, of course) right away. Has anyone else had this trouble, or "urge"? Or is it just me? And, is it unreasonable to go ahead and start on it? Or should I just wait, and stop being so impatient?

Thanks ladies!(: Any help is greatly appreciated!<3

Sicheyanne

No, not crazy for wanting to. But it's definitely a bad idea. Someone gave us all of their old baby stuff when they heard we were TTC. We accepted because we thought we would get pregnant right away. It was a bad idea and now we regret it. 

Walking past the would be nursery is just to hard.

ClaireHuxtable

Yes, I think it's too soon. Just wait and stop being so impatient. 

abbyful

Just wait. Everything will still be available. I recommend waiting until 2nd trimester even, just in case something bad happens.

If you want to pass the time "shopping" for baby stuff, make a private Amazon wishlist of the stuff you want to buy in the future.

sparklesandcream

I agree with pp's, too soon. You'll regret it if you don't get pregnant soon

jennalking2013

Thank you ladies for your help!(: I think I will go with the Amazon wishlist idea, it's just so exciting to me! I'm lucky enough to have the privilege of being a stay at home mom once I finally have my first child, so needless to say, I'm always at home right now. Maybe I should just occupy myself with couponing in the mean time, distract myself from all of this excitement(: I definitely didn't think about having to walk past a nursery every day, even if/when I don't conceive for awhile. It would hurt to look at it /: Thank again girls! I love all of the support I get on this site!<3

Daisylola11

Yeeeah I think it's too soon, but totally understand the urge, I like the idea of the wish list pp mentioned, but also Pinterest!!!! Nothing wrong w window shopping

Emerald27

Way too soon. Styles change with the season, yo. Don't buy until baby is on the way and you can get the latest and greatest. Not to mention, you'll have nearly 10 months to stock up. Patience.

catmagick

Yes.

jennalking2013

Thanks ladies!(: I am loving all of the positive support and advice! I wish I wasn't alone in how I feel, but I really do appreciate all of the great advice that y'all are giving me!(:

Emerald27

Oh, you're not alone in how you feel. And as soon as you see those 2 lines, you'll have to practice some serious, I mean near-impossible, restraint. It's tough because this is so exciting!!! But trust us, it's too early. You'll end up wishing for different things or find that pampers fit LO better than huggies and you'll be stuck with ten thousand diapers that leak. :P

Sicheyanne

jennalking2013 said:

Thanks ladies!(: I am loving all of the positive support and advice! I wish I wasn't alone in how I feel, but I really do appreciate all of the great advice that y'all are giving me!(:

Don't worry. I don't think you're alone in how you feel. I can't wait to get to the point where I can start buying for the baby, and I was super excited when I first started TTC as well. A lot of us just know from experience that it's not a good idea, especially if it takes a while to get pregnant (hopefully it doesn't take you long). I do spend a lot of time window shopping on pinterest, though. If I get sad and down and don't want to see baby stuff I just don't log on. Easy as that. Good luck

dogperson11

I starred an Amazon wish list (private and non searchable by others) as soon as husband and I made our TTC timeline. Some may think that's nuts, but I'm a planner and a researcher and it helps me to focus on one thing at a time and organize my thoughts in lists like that. The only baby items I've purchased are cloth diapers that I got insane deals on, and they're boxed up in a closet we don't use so I don't see them. You're not alone :-)

mcsojoss

I keep telling myself that shopping for baby will be so much more special once I am KU. It helps me a lot. I read a few books about TTC and Pinterest. I also run a business and am a potter. So I stay busy with other stuff. And I redid my office so I could nest without doing baby stuff.

sparklesandcream

I wanted to agree that Pinterest is great for this, I have a secret board with baby stuff/ideas. It's fun!

augusta17

My mom friends all say "don't go buying crazy until after your shower"...I guess I'll eventually find out what they mean.

jennalking2013

babylawyer said:

Thank you ladies for your help!(: I think I will go with the Amazon wishlist idea, it's just so exciting to me! I'm lucky enough to have the privilege of being a stay at home mom once I finally have my first child, so needless to say, I'm always at home right now. Maybe I should just occupy myself with couponing in the mean time, distract myself from all of this excitement(: I definitely didn't think about having to walk past a nursery every day, even if/when I don't conceive for awhile. It would hurt to look at it /: Thank again girls! I love all of the support I get on this site!<3

Serious question: when you say you're always at home right now, do you mean you don't work? If so, what do you plan to do if it takes you a year or two to conceive, or if (hopefully not but still) you end up unable to conceive? If I was you I would start working on some outside interests that are not totally baby focused - working even part time or volunteering or picking up hobbies. Even if you do get pregnant straight away it's a long time to spend at home alone. Personally I have picked up sewing, which is great even if I end up child free but will be great if I do have kids, too.

My whole life doesn't revolve around this. DH makes enough money where I do not need to work (lucky me) but we don't have a second car yet. I just got out of trade school (I was living on campus there for over a year) and I am just finally starting to get back into the community again. I actually crochet and coupon and write music and play piano and write poetry. I clean the house and manage our finances and pay our bills. It's not like I spend all day obsessing over having a baby. I really hope that's not the impression I am giving off to all of you. My life doesn't totally revolve around becoming a mom. Please don't mistake me on that(: 

I definitely have things to keep me occupied, it's just that we are FINALLY ready to start TTC, and of course it's any woman's dream to have a beautiful, happy healthy family. After all, that's why little girls like to carry around baby dolls and stuffed animals and treat them like their own babies, because every girl dreams of it even from an early age. This is just an overwhelming amount of excitement for me, so naturally I want to think about it a lot right now. I am going to obsess over making sure I am healthy and doing the absolutely best a human can do to make sure that nothing goes wrong. I am a planner, I love to plan ahead and go ahead and work things into my budget. I am a little OCD in that matter. I am constantly making lists and budgets of things (I should have been an accountant! haha) That's just how my personality is. I hope I didn't come off as a woman with absolutely no life, and a strange obsession with being a mom(:

Valancyy

Another reason not to buy right away:  safety guidelines change, especially on cribs.  Car seats expire.  If you plan on having more than 1 child, I'd buy the car seat as close as possible to the baby's birth, to get maximum use out of it.

For my first child I only bought a crib before my shower.  I had a lot of fun making registries.  I used the completion coupon from my registry to buy the rest of what I needed. 

obxlaurak

jennalking2013 said:

babylawyer said:

Thank you ladies for your help!(: I think I will go with the Amazon wishlist idea, it's just so exciting to me! I'm lucky enough to have the privilege of being a stay at home mom once I finally have my first child, so needless to say, I'm always at home right now. Maybe I should just occupy myself with couponing in the mean time, distract myself from all of this excitement(: I definitely didn't think about having to walk past a nursery every day, even if/when I don't conceive for awhile. It would hurt to look at it /: Thank again girls! I love all of the support I get on this site!<3

Serious question: when you say you're always at home right now, do you mean you don't work? If so, what do you plan to do if it takes you a year or two to conceive, or if (hopefully not but still) you end up unable to conceive? If I was you I would start working on some outside interests that are not totally baby focused - working even part time or volunteering or picking up hobbies. Even if you do get pregnant straight away it's a long time to spend at home alone. Personally I have picked up sewing, which is great even if I end up child free but will be great if I do have kids, too.

My whole life doesn't revolve around this. DH makes enough money where I do not need to work (lucky me) but we don't have a second car yet. I just got out of trade school (I was living on campus there for over a year) and I am just finally starting to get back into the community again. I actually crochet and coupon and write music and play piano and write poetry. I clean the house and manage our finances and pay our bills. It's not like I spend all day obsessing over having a baby. I really hope that's not the impression I am giving off to all of you. My life doesn't totally revolve around becoming a mom. Please don't mistake me on that(: 

I definitely have things to keep me occupied, it's just that we are FINALLY ready to start TTC, and of course it's any woman's dream to have a beautiful, happy healthy family. After all, that's why little girls like to carry around baby dolls and stuffed animals and treat them like their own babies, because every girl dreams of it even from an early age. This is just an overwhelming amount of excitement for me, so naturally I want to think about it a lot right now. I am going to obsess over making sure I am healthy and doing the absolutely best a human can do to make sure that nothing goes wrong. I am a planner, I love to plan ahead and go ahead and work things into my budget. I am a little OCD in that matter. I am constantly making lists and budgets of things (I should have been an accountant! haha) That's just how my personality is. I hope I didn't come off as a woman with absolutely no life, and a strange obsession with being a mom(:

Ha!  I never played with babydolls.  I was more a matchbox cars kind of girl. 
In fact, the reason my best friend from HS and I are no longer friends is because her husband told me that all I want to do with my life is "pop out babies", cuz that's tooootally why I got my Master's Degree.  To pop out 'dem babies!

Anyway, back to the original post...I think it's OK to drool over baby stuff but I would not start hoarding things just because you plan to have a baby.  It could take years or it could never happen (hopefully it will though!).  Make secret pinterest boards, bookmark things you like, but don't actually buy.  Plus, once you do get that BFP, you're going to want to buy all the things anyway and what fun would it be if you've already done all that stuff?

obxlaurak

And I'm confused.  In an earlier post you said your "boyfriend" and now he's DH? 

Emily.Thorne

Not sure why you'd want to do that to yourself. God forbid it does take "longer" than you plan, then your'e left staring at all of these baby items.  

EmeJay

I bought some stuff durin the first months. 17 months later, that box haunts me. I might put it on fire soon

mmb248

I agree with all of the previous posters. Not only would having all that stuff around the house be depressing, but you would miss out on new technologies, new designs, and what if you change your mind?

Like previous posters, I have a secret pinterest board for baby stuff that I want to remember. Since you like to plan, that would give you an opportunity to do so without going crazy.

Weezy56

I don't think you are crazy for wanting to buy baby stuff,  I browse online sometimes when I'm bored, but I still wouldn't buy anything. Enjoy spending money on yourself while you can. 

EmeJay

Oh and for the record, in the next 5 years I should be making more than my SO and this oddly excites me.

jennalking2013

obxlaurak said:

And I'm confused.  In an earlier post you said your "boyfriend" and now he's DH? 

Is there a difference? Like I said, I'm new to all of this. I used context clues to figure out what all of these crazy abbreviations stand for. I thought DH and boyfriend are the same thing. No one ever bothers to explain it to anyone. Lol.

ADH0906

jennalking2013 said:

  I definitely have things to keep me occupied, it's just that we are FINALLY ready to start TTC, and of course it's any woman's dream to have a beautiful, happy healthy family. After all, that's why little girls like to carry around baby dolls and stuffed animals and treat them like their own babies, because every girl dreams of it even from an early age. This is just an overwhelming amount of excitement for me, so naturally I want to think about it a lot right now. I am going to obsess over making sure I am healthy and doing the absolutely best a human can do to make sure that nothing goes wrong. I am a planner, I love to plan ahead and go ahead and work things into my budget. I am a little OCD in that matter. I am constantly making lists and budgets of things (I should have been an accountant! haha) That's just how my personality is. I hope I didn't come off as a woman with absolutely no life, and a strange obsession with being a mom(:

I hope it's been made clear that this is absolutely not true for every woman.

The newbie blog has an acrynoym glossary: https://tbttgp.wordpress.com/tb-glossary/

jennalking2013

Joy2611 said:

jennalking2013 said:

   DH makes enough money where I do not need to work (lucky me)

This is the second time you've said something to this effect and it's bugging me.  Not every woman is longing for a husband to make enough so she can not work.  I have a Ph,D, and career.  I think I'm damn lucky to be working and would never want it any other way.

As you can see, we all have different perspectives around here.  Just be mindful of that when you post.

I agree with the other ladies that starting to shop now might not be the best idea.  Relax and enjoy the ride!

When did I ever say every woman was longing for a husband that made enough money that she didn't have to work? If you don't assume things, you don't get offended. You are choosing to take it as if I am trying to offend you, or rather, you are choosing to be offended by it, when you don't even have to be. I meant nothing by that. Other than, I'm simply happy that I am in that predicament, because that is what I WANT, even if it's not what other moms wants. I didn't step on your toes by saying any of that, and I'm not going to watch what I say about it just because it might bug you. I'm sorry if it does, but that's certainly not my intention. And you definitely shouldn't be offended by it at all, especially not enough to say something to me about it. I need positive advice, not negative complaints. Please, try to help me, instead of making my smile go away when I read your comments. I don't know how old you are or how many children you have or how long you've been TTC, but I'm young and new to all of this, the least you could do is try to help me, since you're on my thread. If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't comment. It actually bothers me and discourages me from even wanting to continue using the Bump. And that's just not cool...

sister13

jennalking2013 said:

And I'm confused.  In an earlier post you said your "boyfriend" and now he's DH? 

Is there a difference? Like I said, I'm new to all of this. I used context clues to figure out what all of these crazy abbreviations stand for. I thought DH and boyfriend are the same thing. No one ever bothers to explain it to anyone. Lol.

Because most people can take a few seconds to figure these things out (i.e the Glossary in the Newbie blog that others have posted).  I'm curious, though, who do you expect would actually go around contacting every new poster and explain every acronym individually?  

Ok, and since you would like someone explaining things - smiley faces go this way!  

Just take a bit of time to lurk and get to know the place, good luck TTC!  

EmeJay

So he is your boyfriend (as you are unmarried), yet you stay home without a job? ... Ok. It's not like it's recipe for disaster if your relationship would end or something.

jennalking2013

I need those of you are that are leaving negative comments to kindly stop commenting please. I need help and advice here. Not a bunch of grown women trying to tear me down. If you don't know my situation 100% then don't judge me. You don't know me at all or what's going on at home or how well my relationship is doing. And frankly, it's really no ones business, but I'm actually here trying to get advice. Please act like a grown woman and either give advice or get off the thread. No one is forcing anyone to look at, or read, any of this. Except me. I have to look at every single comment, because I need the advice, and I don't know when I'll accidentally read a rude comment.
I haven't done anything to anyone on here, I'm not being rude or hurtful to you. So stop being rude to me. It's as simple as that. I'm trying so hard to be nice to everyone, even people being rude. Please, give that same effort to be nice to me.

SCSmith2011

jennalking2013 said:

jennalking2013 said:

   DH makes enough money where I do not need to work (lucky me)

This is the second time you've said something to this effect and it's bugging me.  Not every woman is longing for a husband to make enough so she can not work.  I have a Ph,D, and career.  I think I'm damn lucky to be working and would never want it any other way.

As you can see, we all have different perspectives around here.  Just be mindful of that when you post.

I agree with the other ladies that starting to shop now might not be the best idea.  Relax and enjoy the ride!

When did I ever say every woman was longing for a husband that made enough money that she didn't have to work? If you don't assume things, you don't get offended. You are choosing to take it as if I am trying to offend you, or rather, you are choosing to be offended by it, when you don't even have to be. I meant nothing by that. Other than, I'm simply happy that I am in that predicament, because that is what I WANT, even if it's not what other moms wants. I didn't step on your toes by saying any of that, and I'm not going to watch what I say about it just because it might bug you. I'm sorry if it does, but that's certainly not my intention. And you definitely shouldn't be offended by it at all, especially not enough to say something to me about it. I need positive advice, not negative complaints. Please, try to help me, instead of making my smile go away when I read your comments. I don't know how old you are or how many children you have or how long you've been TTC, but I'm young and new to all of this, the least you could do is try to help me, since you're on my thread. If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't comment. It actually bothers me and discourages me from even wanting to continue using the Bump. And that's just not cool...

Oh boy. You're in for a long road here.

obxlaurak

OP, how old are you?  You sound very young. 

My advice - read the newbie blog.  Google shit you don't understand.  Learn your body.

sister13

jennalking2013 said:

I don't need any negativity. I'm not hurting you by saying that I don't understand any of it.

jennalking2013

EmeJay said:

So he is your boyfriend (as you are unmarried), yet you stay home without a job? ... Ok. It's not like it's recipe for disaster if your relationship would end or something.

Please don't judge me or my situation without knowing 100% of every little detail there is to know. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but this negativity is absolutely unnecessary. I'm looking for advice please. Positive advice about conceiving and obviously whether or not I need to start buying baby stuff. Everything else, I didn't ask your opinion on, so please don't give yours to me. I know what I'm doing with my relationship and my life. I don't need your help on any of that. So let's please stick to the topic of this thread, okay?

EmeJay

jennalking2013 said:

I need those of you are that are leaving negative comments to kindly stop commenting please. I need help and advice here. Not a bunch of grown women trying to tear me down. If you don't know my situation 100% then don't judge me. You don't know me at all or what's going on at home or how well my relationship is doing. And frankly, it's really no ones business, but I'm actually here trying to get advice. Please act like a grown woman and either give advice or get off the thread. No one is forcing anyone to look at, or read, any of this. Except me. I have to look at every single comment, because I need the advice, and I don't know when I'll accidentally read a rude comment. I haven't done anything to anyone on here, I'm not being rude or hurtful to you. So stop being rude to me. It's as simple as that. I'm trying so hard to be nice to everyone, even people being rude. Please, give that same effort to be nice to me.

So it's none of our business BUT you want our advices?

You ask for advices, we give you answers. It's not because you don't LIKE the answers that we're not giving them.

PrimRoseMama

Not crazy, but not wise to buy baby things. Also, how old are you? You've said some things (blanket statements) that bother people. Just because you don't think it should bother anyone doesn't mean that it doesn't. Some women thrive in their careers and feel that it makes them better people (and mothers in the future). You feel happy to be a SAHM. So do I. 

The way you worded it made it sound like those who have to work are to be pitied. That is why people got upset about it. Own it. Apologize for the wording and move on. 

No one is required to be nice to you on here just because you are young and new to TTC. If you expect the world to be nice to you because you are young and naive then you are going to get a serious wakeup call sooner rather than later. Truthfully, you've gotten good advice and rather than sulking about it, do the adult thing and think about what is being said. 

I appreciate that you are young (you seem to be a teen to me by your writing style. I'm going to guess 18/19 and fresh out of school). Relax. 

sister13

jennalking2013 said:

jennalking2013 said:

   DH makes enough money where I do not need to work (lucky me)

This is the second time you've said something to this effect and it's bugging me.  Not every woman is longing for a husband to make enough so she can not work.  I have a Ph,D, and career.  I think I'm damn lucky to be working and would never want it any other way.

As you can see, we all have different perspectives around here.  Just be mindful of that when you post.

I agree with the other ladies that starting to shop now might not be the best idea.  Relax and enjoy the ride!

When did I ever say every woman was longing for a husband that made enough money that she didn't have to work? If you don't assume things, you don't get offended. You are choosing to take it as if I am trying to offend you, or rather, you are choosing to be offended by it, when you don't even have to be. I meant nothing by that. Other than, I'm simply happy that I am in that predicament, because that is what I WANT, even if it's not what other moms wants. I didn't step on your toes by saying any of that, and I'm not going to watch what I say about it just because it might bug you. I'm sorry if it does, but that's certainly not my intention. And you definitely shouldn't be offended by it at all, especially not enough to say something to me about it. I need positive advice, not negative complaints. Please, try to help me, instead of making my smile go away when I read your comments. I don't know how old you are or how many children you have or how long you've been TTC, but I'm young and new to all of this, the least you could do is try to help me, since you're on my thread. If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't comment. It actually bothers me and discourages me from even wanting to continue using the Bump. And that's just not cool...

I almost missed these gems. Classic.  Lol.  QFP.

ADH0906

You got two pages of thoughtful responses to what I would consider a pretty silly question... you need a bunch of internet strangers to tell you whether to buy baby stuff before you're pregnant?  Saying that no one explained anything to you is annoying because it was explained, right up at the top, which you should have read before posting.  Just because this is "your" thread doesn't mean that you get to police responses.  OP, I say this with no snark and all sincerity:  you need to cool your tits, lurk a little, and get a feel for whether this board is the right place for you.  It's not for everyone. 

jennalking2013

Joy2611 said:

jennalking2013 said:

When did I ever say every woman was longing for a husband that made enough money that she didn't have to work? If you don't assume things, you don't get offended. You are choosing to take it as if I am trying to offend you, or rather, you are choosing to be offended by it, when you don't even have to be. I meant nothing by that. Other than, I'm simply happy that I am in that predicament, because that is what I WANT, even if it's not what other moms wants. I didn't step on your toes by saying any of that, and I'm not going to watch what I say about it just because it might bug you. I'm sorry if it does, but that's certainly not my intention. And you definitely shouldn't be offended by it at all, especially not enough to say something to me about it. I need positive advice, not negative complaints. Please, try to help me, instead of making my smile go away when I read your comments. I don't know how old you are or how many children you have or how long you've been TTC, but I'm young and new to all of this, the least you could do is try to help me, since you're on my thread. If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't comment. It actually bothers me and discourages me from even wanting to continue using the Bump. And that's just not cool...

oh my.  I did try to help you.  I told you that you should choose your words wisely because not everyone thinks, acts, or looks at life as you do.  Your whole response to me is defending your position to point of saying that my feelings are completely invalid because you didn't meant to offend.  C'mooooon.

Pausing, thinking for a moment and saying "Yeah, I didn't mean it that way, but I totally see how it could've been interpreted that way.  Sorry!" would go a long ways.  That's all you have to do.  This is normal human interaction....


I do apologize. I felt as if I was being attacked, which is totally not the response I was expecting on an advice board about conception. I didn't mean to offend you, as I already said. And I did already apologize to you if it did happen to offend you. But I guess I'll say it again. I'm sorry it offended you, I didn't mean it the way you interpreted it. That's what I just said it my previous response, but I believe you, once again, perceived it differently than I intended. Again, I apologize.

sister13

jennalking2013 said:

So he is your boyfriend (as you are unmarried), yet you stay home without a job? ... Ok. It's not like it's recipe for disaster if your relationship would end or something.

Please don't judge me or my situation without knowing 100% of every little detail there is to know. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but this negativity is absolutely unnecessary. I'm looking for advice please. Positive advice about conceiving and obviously whether or not I need to start buying baby stuff. Everything else, I didn't ask your opinion on, so please don't give yours to me. I know what I'm doing with my relationship and my life. I don't need your help on any of that. So let's please stick to the topic of this thread, okay?

There @emejay, she sure told you. And guys, STICK TO THE TOPIC!!!!!!