So I'm going in on Friday for a 3d gender determination- Change of plans!

momthatlifts

I know it's way too early but my husband insisted, I warned him about the accuracy but the place we are going to has a 99% success rate and they also offer a free follow up. We were planning on paying for an elective anyways so we could know before Christmas. When I called them to set up an appointment for 16 weeks today they said either Monday (but that's my OB appointment) or Friday. I guess they do a lot of scans earlier than 16 weeks. So I figured I'm paying for it anyways, and the follow up is free. Sure lets do it. Plus my husband didn't help in the background saying "yes yes Friday is fine!" . I'm really not that excited as I know the accuracy rate isn't so great... But I'm hoping they can find something obvious other than nubs. Edit: since I have been going back in forth with dh all day that I just think 13 weeks is too early, I finally won the battle through text (since he is at work) and told him I am canceling for Friday and moving it up to 3 weeks from today or whenever they can get me in.

JKTTC1

How far along are you? I went today and measured 15 weeks and they were able to tell. Last time I was 14w and they could tell!

momthatlifts

I will be 14 weeks Monday. I told them that and they said a few days will not make a difference. I sure hope so!!!!! I will be 3 days from 14 weeks

momthatlifts

13 weeks seems too early to find out the sex.

Why not save the money and put it toward moving out of MIL's house?  (Sort of a rhetorical question... how you choose to spend your money is your own business, obviously).

Dh wants to know ASAP. I was ok with 16 weeks. We wanted to share at Christmas time.

momthatlifts

And 13 weeks is really early that's why I'm not getting my hopes up, but I was going to spend the money anyways and since the follow up is free to get another opinion I'm ok with going twice.

momthatlifts

We have enough money to pay for a few special things for ourselves. And I'm not trying to sound snarky or anything, but seeing my baby for the first time ever on a 3d scan is not really an unnecessary waste of money to me. Edit:added wording

momthatlifts

P.s I loved cry baby

KatieP71312

3rd baby and I've never had a 3D scan. Def a luxury I'm not willing to pay for! Hope you get the info you're looking for.

momthatlifts

3rd baby and I've never had a 3D scan. Def a luxury I'm not willing to pay for! Hope you get the info you're looking for.

My husband actually keeps insisting on doing it on Friday since I made the appointment. I have been telling him I would rather do it around 16 weeks so we could at least get a better picture and more accurate result. I just won the fight through text. Told him I am canceling for Friday and rescheduling for 3 weeks from today

busterbeagle

Honestly, I would wait a bit longer if you want to pay for a 3D scan. My MFM gives me a 3D peek at every scan and at 12w, my baby looked like an alien shrimp. They have these pics of cute fetuses that actually look like babies, but you don't get those kind of images until 20+ weeks.

Tkhixen

My DH and I really want to know, but we would rather put the money towards daycare and other baby related expenses then spend over $200 for an unnecessary u/s.  It's our first too, but the gender/sex (whatever you people want to call it), will be the same at week 20, when we get a free one.  Just sayin!  

momthatlifts

Honestly, I would wait a bit longer if you want to pay for a 3D scan. My MFM gives me a 3D peek at every scan and at 12w, my baby looked like an alien shrimp. They have these pics of cute fetuses that actually look like babies, but you don't get those kind of images until 20+ weeks.

Yeah I totally agree. If you read my edit at the top .. I am rescheduling for 16 weeks. I am just too worried they won't be able to find anything and it will just be a waste of time. Plus we just have other priorities we need to take care of this week and he just ignored that. Including taking the dog to the vet unexpectedly after I already made the appointment.

CamrynnsMommy

JKBMA2014 said:

We have enough money to pay for a few special things for ourselves. And I'm not trying to sound snarky or anything, but seeing my baby for the first time ever on a 3d scan is not really an unnecessary waste of money to me.

Edit:added wording

It seems like a waste of money to those on an Internet forum to whom you just complained to about your current living situation. As an outsider looking in, it seems like it could be money better spent/saved, like towards another car, a deposit on an apartment, etc. I'm no one to judge anyone's financial situation, but you put the info out there and we are offering advice.

IMO, as I said, it seems like the money could be better spent or saved, esp if you're not working.

Also, why fight with H about a scan at 14 weeks, as opposed to 17 weeks, as you said they have a 99% accuracy rate and you get to go back for another scan if they can't determine.

How old are you, if you don't mind sharing?

momthatlifts

We have enough money to pay for a few special things for ourselves. And I'm not trying to sound snarky or anything, but seeing my baby for the first time ever on a 3d scan is not really an unnecessary waste of money to me. Edit:added wording

It seems like a waste of money to those on an Internet forum to whom you just complained to about your current living situation. As an outsider looking in, it seems like it could be money better spent/saved, like towards another car, a deposit on an apartment, etc. I'm no one to judge anyone's financial situation, but you put the info out there and we are offering advice. IMO, as I said, it seems like the money could be better spent or saved, esp if you're not working. Also, why fight with H about a scan at 14 weeks, as opposed to 17 weeks, as you said they have a 99% accuracy rate and you get to go back for another scan if they can't determine. How old are you, if you don't mind sharing?

I edited at the top. It's just not space because I'm on my iPad and for some reason it doesn't space. We are going to reschedule for 16 weeks. This was all mainly dhs idea because he desperately wants to know. I wasn't even exactly sure when I made the appointment that it was what I wanted to do. I'm 22

Tkhixen

Ok...I need to add to my previous post.  I just read your thread about your living situation and I read all the comments.  I don't normally judge people for how they live their life or spend money, but after the way you rudely responded to people who were trying to give you advice, you complained that you needed help, said you were trying to save money, get on WIC...do you really need an elective ultrasound?  I mean...My husband and I make very good money, but we even think there are better things our money can go towards...I wish that I could not work and spend money on frivolous things like elective ultrasounds, but I was taught the value of a dollar...which is why I owned my first house at 24 years old, with no help from parents.  I worked my a$$ off from the time I was 14.  Put the $200 towards a new car or a security deposit for an apartment.  Or rent a trailer!  But seriously, your baby will have the same anatomy when you receive a FREE ultrasound at 20 weeks.  

mrsbtobe20122

Tkhixen said:

Ok...I need to add to my previous post.  I just read your thread about your living situation and I read all the comments.  I don't normally judge people for how they live their life or spend money, but after the way you rudely responded to people who were trying to give you advice, you complained that you needed help, said you were trying to save money, get on WIC...do you really need an elective ultrasound?  I mean...My husband and I make very good money, but we even think there are better things our money can go towards...I wish that I could not work and spend money on frivolous things like elective ultrasounds, but I was taught the value of a dollar...which is why I owned my first house at 24 years old, with no help from parents.  I worked my a$$ off from the time I was 14.  Put the $200 towards a new car or a security deposit for an apartment.  Or rent a trailer!  But seriously, your baby will have the same anatomy when you receive a FREE ultrasound at 20 weeks.  

Can I just add that there is no such thing as a free US? Or breastpump? Or anything in life. Somewhere
someone is paying for her to be on WIC and to be insured.

momthatlifts

mrsbtobe20122 said:

Tkhixen said:

Ok...I need to add to my previous post.  I just read your thread about your living situation and I read all the comments.  I don't normally judge people for how they live their life or spend money, but after the way you rudely responded to people who were trying to give you advice, you complained that you needed help, said you were trying to save money, get on WIC...do you really need an elective ultrasound?  I mean...My husband and I make very good money, but we even think there are better things our money can go towards...I wish that I could not work and spend money on frivolous things like elective ultrasounds, but I was taught the value of a dollar...which is why I owned my first house at 24 years old, with no help from parents.  I worked my a$$ off from the time I was 14.  Put the $200 towards a new car or a security deposit for an apartment.  Or rent a trailer!  But seriously, your baby will have the same anatomy when you receive a FREE ultrasound at 20 weeks.  

Can I just add that there is no such thing as a free US? Or breastpump? Or anything in life. Somewhere
someone is paying for her to be on WIC and to be insured.

Yeah someone like my husband who pays his taxes. Are you trying to make me feel bad for being on wic or medicaid?

momthatlifts

Tkhixen said:

Ok...I need to add to my previous post.  I just read your thread about your living situation and I read all the comments.  I don't normally judge people for how they live their life or spend money, but after the way you rudely responded to people who were trying to give you advice, you complained that you needed help, said you were trying to save money, get on WIC...do you really need an elective ultrasound?  I mean...My husband and I make very good money, but we even think there are better things our money can go towards...I wish that I could not work and spend money on frivolous things like elective ultrasounds, but I was taught the value of a dollar...which is why I owned my first house at 24 years old, with no help from parents.  I worked my a$$ off from the time I was 14.  Put the $200 towards a new car or a security deposit for an apartment.  Or rent a trailer!  But seriously, your baby will have the same anatomy when you receive a FREE ultrasound at 20 weeks.  

I was also living on my own, going to school (which didnt work put due to financial aid services sucking a $$) and working two jobs at the age of 19. I know the value of a dollar. I worked the moment I turned 17 and got my first car. I was able to move up since I was working two jobs by 19-20 years old and that is the car I am still using as of now that I paid off because of my hard work. My husband didn't want me to work during my first trimester. He just wanted me to relax. Plus I had a job where I had dogs biting me, jumping on me ect. Daily. Aggressive dogs was not what I wanted to be around. And I proceeded to apologize in my other post because I realized I was taking my frustration out on the people who were trying to help. So I am not going to get in to a passing contest with any of you again. We have enough money to spoil ourselves every once in a while. We don't get to do that often. And that is no one's business but ours

sthomas1222

JKBMA2014 said:

Ok...I need to add to my previous post.  I just read your thread about your living situation and I read all the comments.  I don't normally judge people for how they live their life or spend money, but after the way you rudely responded to people who were trying to give you advice, you complained that you needed help, said you were trying to save money, get on WIC...do you really need an elective ultrasound?  I mean...My husband and I make very good money, but we even think there are better things our money can go towards...I wish that I could not work and spend money on frivolous things like elective ultrasounds, but I was taught the value of a dollar...which is why I owned my first house at 24 years old, with no help from parents.  I worked my a$$ off from the time I was 14.  Put the $200 towards a new car or a security deposit for an apartment.  Or rent a trailer!  But seriously, your baby will have the same anatomy when you receive a FREE ultrasound at 20 weeks.  

I was also living on my own, going to school (which didnt work put due to financial aid services sucking a $$) and working two jobs at the age of 19. I know the value of a dollar. I worked the moment I turned 17 and got my first car. I was able to move up since I was working two jobs by 19-20 years old and that is the car I am still using as of now that I paid off because of my hard work. My husband didn't want me to work during my first trimester. He just wanted me to relax. Plus I had a job where I had dogs biting me, jumping on me ect. Daily. Aggressive dogs was not what I wanted to be around. And I proceeded to apologize in my other post because I realized I was taking my frustration out on the people who were trying to help. So I am not going to get in to a passing contest with any of you again. We have enough money to spoil ourselves every once in a while. We don't get to do that often. And that is no one's business but ours

But you made it everyone's business by posting on here all your drama. Idk what you expected from everyone when just the other day you were bitching about not having enough money to get out of your MILs house. Now you're dropping $100-$200+ on an ELECTIVE ultrasound that is WAAAAAY too early to find out with any kind of accuracy the gender of your child.

pandadair

I have no comment on the actual thread, but where do you guys live that elective u/s are $200? I would pass on that as well, but we're going for one this weekend for $60. I feel like trading off dinner and a movie for an elective u/s so we can (ETA: hopefully) do a little family reveal at Thanksgiving is NBD. We won't be seeing everyone at Christmas and want to do it in person.

Anyway, sorry for the threadjack! Just wanted to point out that it might not be as expensive as you think.

sthomas1222

@pandadair I'm in VA and the cheapest is around $150 I believe. That was last year when I was preggers. I haven't checked rates this time around b/c like last time it's not something we're willing to pay for. Even $60 is too much IMO, I can buy 2-3 very nice cloth diapers for that much lol!

pandadair

sthomas1222 said:

@pandadair I'm in VA and the cheapest is around $150 I believe. That was last year when I was preggers. I haven't checked rates this time around b/c like last time it's not something we're willing to pay for. Even $60 is too much IMO, I can buy 2-3 very nice cloth diapers for that much lol!

Fair enough on the cloth diapers. Both sides of our family are very much looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby together, since we don't live close enough for them to experience much of the pregnancy otherwise, and Thanksgiving is the only time we can do it. $60 is a small price to pay for the family aspect, IMO. Double that, though, and I'd tell them our Paypal is open for donations .

mrsbtobe20122

JKBMA2014 said:

mrsbtobe20122 said:

Tkhixen said:

Ok...I need to add to my previous post.  I just read your thread about your living situation and I read all the comments.  I don't normally judge people for how they live their life or spend money, but after the way you rudely responded to people who were trying to give you advice, you complained that you needed help, said you were trying to save money, get on WIC...do you really need an elective ultrasound?  I mean...My husband and I make very good money, but we even think there are better things our money can go towards...I wish that I could not work and spend money on frivolous things like elective ultrasounds, but I was taught the value of a dollar...which is why I owned my first house at 24 years old, with no help from parents.  I worked my a$$ off from the time I was 14.  Put the $200 towards a new car or a security deposit for an apartment.  Or rent a trailer!  But seriously, your baby will have the same anatomy when you receive a FREE ultrasound at 20 weeks.  

Can I just add that there is no such thing as a free US? Or breastpump? Or anything in life. Somewhere
someone is paying for her to be on WIC and to be insured.

Yeah someone like my husband who pays his taxes. Are you trying to make me feel bad for being on wic or medicaid?

Not originally... But if I decided to just quit my job because I was pregnant... We couldn't afford our student loans, mortgage, and our family wouldn't be insured. That's called being a responsible adult. Sorry about it.

Rocknroll64

I thought you weren't working because you don't have a car? Now all of a sudden its because your husband didn't want you to work during first trimester? So you're not working so you can "rest" and you have the nerve to bitch about how you have no money and have to live with your MIL.

Then you go on to tell us your buying a totally unnecessary elective ultrasound? You're a real piece of work OP.

prettypenguin28

They won't even do 3d ultrasounds up here until your 3rd trimester because baby is thin skin and bones and you can't see much, let alone private parts that are hardly developed. Seems like you'd be cheated out of money by doing 3d, even at 16 weeks. But whatever floats your boat I suppose...

hfooter

@Pandadair the only place around where I live (Portland, OR) charges $180 at 14-15 weeks. It goes down from there to $75 at 18 weeks. But I can get my a/s at 18 weeks so it's not worth it.

As far as the OP and her spending/living habits: I don't think it's an appropriate way to spend money when they are in the situation they are in, but at 22 I'm more than positive I made some poor money choices at that time! She'll learn!

gypsymystic

pandadair said:

I have no comment on the actual thread, but where do you guys live that elective u/s are $200? I would pass on that as well, but we're going for one this weekend for $60. I feel like trading off dinner and a movie for an elective u/s so we can (ETA: hopefully) do a little family reveal at Thanksgiving is NBD. We won't be seeing everyone at Christmas and want to do it in person.

Anyway, sorry for the threadjack! Just wanted to point out that it might not be as expensive as you think.

I got mine for $60 with my first and will this time too. Judgy-ness in this thread is way off the charts. As usual.

bcnoelle

I'm sorry but if you are having a rough time financially, this is irresponsible.  I would wait.

Chellbell20

Wow, I wish my husband would tell me to quit my job so I could rest, but he lives in this thing called reality where we pay our bills and don't mooch off others and then bitch about it.  I was pretty nice on your thread about living with MIL, but seriously, you need a reality check.  Until you and DH are on your own two feet, you do not have extra money.  Everything "extra" should be saved until you can make ends meet all on your own. 

MissLadyTay

Kimbus22 said:

JKBMA2014 said:

We have enough money to pay for a few special things for ourselves. And I'm not trying to sound snarky or anything, but seeing my baby for the first time ever on a 3d scan is not really an unnecessary waste of money to me.

Edit:added wording

I beg to differ.  If I were living with my MIL, I wouldn't be buying an extra pack of gum until I was supporting myself in my own home.  You're on Medicaid.  They'll pay for the A/S and you'll see the baby then.  It's not like this is your only shot or you don't get to see him/her.  Your priorities are really screwy.


Seriously. "A few special things for ourselves." Hahahaha. How about buying things your baby NEEDS instead of splurging on a complete waste of time. Like a home of its own!!! Your inability to wait until 20 weeks for the anatomy scan tells me why you are living with your MIL in the first place. It's called impulse control. Get some.

pistolpackinmomma

Azlebella said:

pandadair said:

I have no comment on the actual thread, but where do you guys live that elective u/s are $200? I would pass on that as well, but we're going for one this weekend for $60. I feel like trading off dinner and a movie for an elective u/s so we can (ETA: hopefully) do a little family reveal at Thanksgiving is NBD. We won't be seeing everyone at Christmas and want to do it in person.

Anyway, sorry for the threadjack! Just wanted to point out that it might not be as expensive as you think.

I got mine for $60 with my first and will this time too. Judgy-ness in this thread is way off the charts. As usual.

You bet I'm judging! If she is going to voluntarily quit her job just because she wants to relax and take it easy but expect us to pay for her health care and food through government assistance programs (I have no issues with the programs as long as they are used as a hand up not a hand out) then I judge her for paying for extra ultrasounds that are unnecessary!

CamrynnsMommy

Azlebella said:

pandadair said:

I have no comment on the actual thread, but where do you guys live that elective u/s are $200? I would pass on that as well, but we're going for one this weekend for $60. I feel like trading off dinner and a movie for an elective u/s so we can (ETA: hopefully) do a little family reveal at Thanksgiving is NBD. We won't be seeing everyone at Christmas and want to do it in person.

Anyway, sorry for the threadjack! Just wanted to point out that it might not be as expensive as you think.

I got mine for $60 with my first and will this time too. Judgy-ness in this thread is way off the charts. As usual.

I'm assuming you didn't read her MIL vent thread? Otherwise, you'd be singing a different tune...

awc1986

Am I the only person who doesn't see the fuss of a 3D scan? Why not just save your money, wait a few months and then you can see your actual baby in 3D when it comes out of your vagina.

ABColeslaw

I think if you want us to forget the whole other post, you're really going to need to never post about money related extravagances ever again.  Even mentioning that you have an IPAD, which is expensive and something I would surely sell in order to get out of my MILs house.  I know there is back story information that we don't know about, but we can't know everything and it just irks people to no end to waste time trying to be helpful if this is the follow up.  Even not poor as broke, we had to really scrounge down deep for an elective ultrasound, which in the end is going to be my lone holiday gift.  It is hard to imagine going for it if I was in a less than desirable living situation. 

kb2bkk

Your priorities are just so totally out of whack.  After posting the other day saying you aren't working, and are Medicaid and looking into WIC, to now saying you have extra money to pay for "special treats".  No, you don't.  That money should be used to better provide for your family and new baby, maybe even be given to your MIL to help cover the expenses of you and DH living with her.  

dragossoul84

I looked back at your other posts because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't just judging you based on my dislike of you from your mother in law post. You are making choices that are all about you and your wants for this pregnancy. You have posts about taking benadryl when you thought it was wrong, you ate shellfish thinking it was wrong and despite not having a home of your own and living with some one you call toxic and abusive you conceived a child. I think that you really need to get yourself in check and make better decisions. A 3d ultrasound to find out your child's sex is a luxury when you are complaining about how toxic your environment is luxuries are on the back burner until you can be in a safe place for your child. Needs come before wants. That money could be spent on moving out or even baby supplies.

kb2bkk

Also, it is people like you who give Government Assistance a bad reputation.  You are choosing not to work, and using tax payer dollars to fund your family, rather than taking responsibility and working to provide for your family yourself.  

83edwards

1. I am completely shocked you came back.

2. I agree with everyone else....how can you spend on this when you are so desperate to get out of your MIL's house? Remember, she is abusive to you and her son. Remember, she is an alcoholic. Remember, she makes you climb wobbly ladders.

3. Shame on you for expecting anything less than what you got here. This thread was mild....

sammy.k

That extra $$ you claim to have to treat yourself to luxury items?? Yah id be saving that and stocking up on diapers and formula if I was in your boots. Good luck.

Hooper88

No words.....there is no extra money when you can't afford necessities!!!

Ok I guess I had a few words

pjsparkle03

While I do think that 13 wks is a bit early... I had my NT scan at 13 wks and it was a boy. Last night, 16w2d, I had our elective gender scan and it was confirmed a BOY!

Good luck!