I've always wanted to plan my own shower . I am now 22 weeks and am anxious to start planning . This is my first , Hubby's second . He had a bad first experience and keeps saying he's just going to buy everything on the registry . My mother wants to host . She has wonderful intentions but she worries too much and swears she needs to spend $5000 !! To me that's ridiculous ! I feel I can have a celebration w $500 . Also , I feel I am a great planner and I like having things my way (: . The idea of being "surprised" is nice , but not when I know there's a surprise , I hate that . As the saying goes , if you want something done right , do it yourself ! Any opinions ? I would love an open discussion ! Thanks !
BTW : I'm having a boy , and I don't want the traditional blues , I prefer yellow and orange .
Re: Host My Own Baby Shower .. ?
Thanks for replying so quick (: . I completely understand why it looks gift grabby . Which is why I'm on the fence . I'm not sure why I'm scared to let my mom do it . I just feel something will go wrong , and if I do it myself I know it will be how I want . I have a really big family and would just love to celebrate with them , as I am the "baby of the family " . My fiance really wants to just buy everything himself , I keep telling him to hold on . Also we're moving in July ( our lease is up ) , so it feels everything will be happening at once .
Wow, you're a peach.
No, you don't throw your own shower. Period.
I actually thought about helping her w smaller details just so things can be to my liking . Thanks for the good tip , I actually didn't think of whose name to put on the invite , I guess I figured I would probably have : " Baby is inviting you to celebrate his arrival " , something corny like that (: , but I definitely will not be putting my name . Thanks .
LOL . This topic usually doesn't go over well anywhere . I'm a first-timer just looking for honest opinions and ideas .
Definitely don't throw your own shower... a shower is a gift to you and your partner. So, if you don't trust your family to do it right, you can say no thanks and just not have one. NEVER is it appropriate to throw your own. EVER.
If you're really concerned about it not being "up to your standards", you can throw a "Meet the Baby" party after the baby's arrived. That's not for gifts, just a get together --- and that one you can throw yourself, and make it as perfect as you want.
Its incredibly tacky and rude to host your own gift giving event. If your mom wants to host then let her. You sound like you are a huge control freak. Let it go and let someone else celebrate you.
Hey, you asked for "any opinions". Don't host your own. Stop acting like a preggozilla and a diva. Unclench.
A shower should be a gift, and an honor. NOT something you throw because you feel entitled to one. Get over yourself.
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That's the thing , I really am not trying to come off as a brat . I've hosted two other showers and feel I just know what I am doing . I don't think my mother has ever hosted one , esp w how much she thinks she needs to spend to please me . I love the idea of having someone host it , I just don't like the idea of having that "pressure" on them . But I also did think about hosting a Meet the Baby in my new home , my SIL did that for my nephew . ( There were gifts , but it wasn't expected I guess ) I really am not doing it for the gifts , I just have so much family in different states and know they would all love to come see me to celebrate , but of course they will be asking about the registry .
Please, you aren't trying to sound like a brat, but you are totally sounding like a control-freak diva. If your mom didn't want "the pressure" to host the event then she wouldn't have offered to throw it for you as a gift. I really think its lame how you are trying to pass your need to control this event off as some sort of consideration for any pressure that would exist for the host. Its not that hard to get some balloons and cake together to open gifts. Please don't insult our intelligence. That's annoying.
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Dude, a shower is supposed to be about "showering the new mom". That's the whole point. If you want to host a party for your family/friends then do a meet the baby party. However, you already mentioned the registry so you must understand that its a gift giving event. That is why its rude to host your own. If you really want "family near you to celebrate" then let your mom host the shower as she is able and quit your biitchin'.
You could solve all of this by hosting a meet the baby party once baby is here and forgoing a shower all together. That way you will have everything you need and can decorate as you like. Problem solved. That is not the function of a shower. The function of a shower is to get gifts.
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WOW THE FIRST TO UNDERSTAND ! A bbq is EXACTLY what I want . It will be in end of July / beginning of August .
That is not a shower, are you daft? That is a meet the baby without gifts (because the baby would be there to celebrate, right?) and you have all you need. Showers are to celebrate the mom and give her gifts to help with the new baby. Seriously, this is the easiest concept in the world.
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Dude, we aren't stupid. We understand what you want. You want to host your own gift giving event. A shower isn't a celebration of baby. Its a celebration of the mother. Please get it through your head. Celebrating the BABY happens with a meet the baby when the kid is out of the oven. There is a HUGE difference. The purpose of a shower is to give the mother stuff to help with baby. JFC.
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I'm going to disagree with the ladies on here. I really dont understand the big deal about throwing one yourself. (And do I really believe not a single woman on here had a hand in planning her own? No)
DH and I are going to host our own get together for this baby. I decided it would be more of a cook-out / shower type of event. I can't stand stupid baby showers where you guess how many skittles are in the bottle and other silly games. We also have no intention of telling people where we are registered. I personally dont see the point in having a registry at all - to me thats just saying I expect other people to buy me things. The only reason I have one at all is for my own mother and in-laws to get a sense of what we like. I know my mom will buy things, I can't stop the woman haha.
As for our event, I dont expect people to bring anything if they dont want to. Nor do I want only women at the party as I dont even have a lot of female friends. However, after going through years of Infertility I don't know if I'll ever get another chance at being pregnant. So why not do it myself and celebrate having a baby? I'm not asking for money or gifts, just a coming together of our friends to celebrate us having a child.
Make a pregnancy ticker
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We're very similar . Thank you for your input . I also only have a registry because my family is so big and they asked me to do it so they can have an idea of what we would like . We can count friends on one hand . Once again , my fiance is itching to just purchase everything on the list , because he is definitely not the gift grabby type . We like the baby shower idea to have both of our families together for the first time celebrating the baby . Of course a Meet the Baby is also appropriate for this ...... but that's technically a different topic .
My (X)MIL and (X)SIL threw my shower for DS. Other than asking me for the names/addresses of the family from my side I had ZERO involvment in the shower.
OP, you're young, aren't you?
You've got to be kidding me, right? I have seen your posts and responded almost every single time in a nice, kind, and compassionate way. Now you want to say that "some" are just here to ridicule and shiit? Well you can FRO then. You, personally, have gotten tons of support here. Just because we don't sugar coat for the OP about hosting her own gift giving event (which a shower is by definition no matter what people want to invent as their own personal definition of the word/event) doesn't mean we are fundamentally bad people.
She asked for "any opinions" and she got them. The majority of responders have said, "no don't do it. Its tacky.". If she is in the minority then that says something. Get a clue.
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I'm having 3 showers. Want to know the extent of me planning them? Supplying the guest list, and answering questions about the color of my nursery and what flavor of cake I like.
That's it.
ETA: and I didn't even do all of that for each shower.
LOL "do what you want" (basically sounding like a hissy fit) with no regards for etiquette or your guests (buy me stuff!) and the ones telling her not to do it are the ones that need to "grow up". When I read this response all I see in bold, caps is, "if you want it nooooooow, then do it. Who cares if its rude. Its YOUR baby. YOUR party. God!" STOMP STOMP STOMP.
Sounds like bratty, diva, preggozilla behavior. Gross.
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No wonder you're worried your mom feels so much pressure to spend $5000 to make you happy. Listen to yourself!
God thank you. Thank you. The stupid in this post is really hurting my brain.
But but...its YOUR baby, and YOUR DAY! OMGerd can't you see that we should alll have a shower the way we waaaaaaaant it. Why can't you understand that OP and those that are thinking just like her MUST have things their WAY. Gosh!
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Hm , obviously you just don't know me and assuming things .. The reason my mother thinks that is because the type of celebrations my family throw are usually suit & tie over the top , just for a simple toddler's birthday . She thought I'm like that too , but if you continued reading the sentence you would know I am simple and don't want something extravagant .
Yes , I too am very big on party planning . I am usually the go-to person among my friends and family when it comes to organizing and decorating . I also wanted to make my own invites thank-yous decorations and favors .
Ideas? Yes.
No one is cranky. We just don't understand the crazy amount of stupid, entitled and self-involvement that comes with wanting to host your own event. I guess its good we don't get those things because generally those things are way worse than "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" or someshit. Just because the answers are blunt and to the point doesn't mean the person who is expressing them is a bad person or hormonal (I know that's coming). You just came off as incredibly controlling and preggozilla. Own it. I will own that I am blunt and can appear biitchy. That doesn't mean that what I say has no merit. You didn't want to come off sounding like a brat, but you did. That sucks. Oh well. You seem to be open to reason so that's a good thing.
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