My husband and I are the only couple in our circle of friends without children. We are both 30 and still have no immediate plans to TTC. I sometimes worry about it but my husband says "we're still young". I agree with him that 30 isn't old but talking to coworkers, family, and friends makes me feel like I'm so behind.
Anyone else having their first after 30? Do you regret waiting?
Just looking for someone in a similar situation. Thanks!
Re: 1st child after 30
I was 36 and my DH was 46 when our boys were born. They are the first for both of us. We married when I was 30- so we knew our first would be after 30 LOL.
Where I live it is not uncommon for someone to be a FTM after 30- however where I grew up I was the oddity (it could also be that I also went away to college and finished a masters all before I met my DH). I am just happy that I am not like my high schoold boyfriend- he is now a grandfather at 38
Oh and I wanted to add that I was "high risk" ONLY because I was having twins- I spoke to my MFM (high risk OB) and he laughed when I said that my "old age" was a problem. He said that anymore 35 is NOT and immediate "high risk " pregnancy- he considers 40+ to be AMA.
We plan to start to TTC later this year. The pressure from outsiders had me worried but I know we're more ready now than when we 2 or 3 years ago.
:: shrugs ::
I had my first when I was almost 31 and another when I was 33. In fact, we are thinking of trying for a third in a few months and I am 35 now.
This wasn't my plan when I was in high school or college, but life has a way of surprising you and the plans you made.
I had my first at 36 and will have my second at 39 or 40. There are slightly higher risks, but I was more fit than most 25 year olds when I gave birth and had no pregnancy problems related to my advanced maternal age.
Getting pregnant was harder for me, but since we were working with a sperm bank from the beginning, there is no way to know whether that was related to my age. But now we have embryos in storage so not even the age of my eggs matters. I don't mean this as snarky as I suspect it sounds, but if you have concerns, talk to your doctor. If however you are still worried about what your friends think and worried that you are falling behind them, you might still need more time to grow up a bit.
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
I am 31 and had my first two kids at 28 and 29.
No, I don't think 30 is "old". Most of my friends from high school college don't have kids. I grew up and went to college in major east coast cities where it is totally normal to wait a loooong time before settling down. I did things much earlier than my social circle (married at 22, first baby at 28).
That being said, don't take your fertility for granted. It does get harder to concieve the older you get. And as someone who was dx with Premature Ovarian Failure at 28, I definitely look at fertility and age a little differently than the average person.
My only advice would be to TTC before you have serious baby fever. It will allow you to have more fun and feel more relaxed than if you wait until you literally want a baby right.that.very.second. Also, consider how many babies you want (or that you think you want) and remember that TTC and pregnancy is a lengthy process. Saying "I want 3 kids by 35" when you are sitting at 30 isn't a realistic goal.
We plan on TTC one more baby in the next year or so. I actually am about 50/50 about whether getting pregnant is even possible for me at this point. If I'm being honest, I am NOT 100% ready to be pregnant again. But I know I want to give one more baby a fair shot, and in light of my fertility history that means sooner rather than later. So, there are many factors that go into making a decision... some short term, some long term.
GL!
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
While I agree it's not uncommon for women to have their first child after 30 it is higher risk to have kids when you will deliver at 35 as compared to 30 or 25. The risk of having a child with an extra chromosone increases a lot after 35. (still unlikely but that's when it becomes more of an issue, again more so after 40)
Fertility also decreases after 30 and much more so after 35 and as we get older it decreases more quickly. That doesn't mean it will affect most of us but it's more likely to. I am having my third at 35 and the risks were much higher this time that before.
I wouldn't say it's immediately high risk but certainly there are things to think about it you are going to wait until 35 or older.
I think more than the pregnancy concerns I am concerned with having the energy at 30 to run behind a toddler, how old will I be when they're in school. Basically being an "old" mom and sorta out of the know.
The TTC plans are definitely in the works for sometime in the later part of the year.
[MC 11.20.11] [DS born 9.24.12] [DD born 10.15.14]
I can't imagine not having the energy to keep up with a toddler at age 30. 30 isn't exactly geriatric by any means. I had my first at 33, and if we have a second I will be at least 37. I generally have no regrets for waiting this long.
Seriously?! You realize your ability to chase a toddler has nothing to do with age. People run marathons at age 60. If you can't keep up with a toddler at 30 it is not because of your age.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I am 30 and we are still trying for our first. The vast majority of my family and friends had their kids when they were in their 20s. I wanted to start having kids when I was around 25, but that wasn't in the cards for DH and I.
I certainly don't think 30 is too old to start having kids, especially since my husband is in his early 40s.
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I was 32 when I had DS and hope for 1-3 more. As long as I am finished by 40 I'll be happy
And no, I have no regrets. The only small regret I do have in not getting started sooner is so I could have more of them, but if I had done that, I would not have been able to get where I wanted to due to work and couldn't afford them anyway. Funny how life works out
GL and enjoy yourselves.
I'm glad I wasn't the only one raising a major side eye to Chelle's weird statement.