1st child after 30

cookiedough22 · December 2012

My husband and I are the only couple in our circle of friends without children. We are both 30 and still have no immediate plans to TTC. I sometimes worry about it but my husband says "we're still young". I agree with him that 30 isn't old but talking to coworkers, family, and friends makes me feel like I'm so behind.

Anyone else having their first after 30? Do you regret waiting?

Just looking for someone in a similar situation. Thanks!

cowgirltu · December 2012

I am 31 and currently pregnant with my first. We do not regret waiting. We have only been married for 2 years, and together for 4. We were living in Europe until hthis last June, and we wanted to wait until we were living in the states again before we had a child.

frootyloops · December 2012

On the other hand, you are only 5 years from "Advanced maternal age" ...which is the medical term for "old"

kiki1978 · December 2012

I am 34 and TTC my first. I didn't want to wait to have children this late, but I didn't meet DH until I was 32. While in our minds it doesn't seem old at all, in the medical community I will be considered advanced maternal age.

KLN1179 · December 2012

I didn't get married until I was 30 so I don't have any regrets. However, after trying for our first for almost 3 years it is getting quite frustrating. My thoughts are, people are going to give you their opinion, you and your husband do what makes you comfortable.

chickaboo1974 · December 2012

I was 36 and my DH was 46 when our boys were born. They are the first for both of us. We married when I was 30- so we knew our first would be after 30 LOL.

Where I live it is not uncommon for someone to be a FTM after 30- however where I grew up I was the oddity (it could also be that I also went away to college and finished a masters all before I met my DH). I am just happy that I am not like my high schoold boyfriend- he is now a grandfather at 38

Oh and I wanted to add that I was "high risk" ONLY because I was having twins- I spoke to my MFM (high risk OB) and he laughed when I said that my "old age" was a problem. He said that anymore 35 is NOT and immediate "high risk " pregnancy- he considers 40+ to be AMA.

criswithnoh · December 2012

I'll be 30 next April and I plan on TTC starting early next year. I think this is the perfect age to have my first as we're finally getting financially stable enough to do so. We've been married a year and 4 months and it's just the right time for us. I really wouldn't start to worry until 35, or close to it.

cookiedough22 · December 2012

Thanks for your responses.

We plan to start to TTC later this year. The pressure from outsiders had me worried but I know we're more ready now than when we 2 or 3 years ago.

Disneygeek77 · December 2012

:: shrugs ::

I had my first when I was almost 31 and another when I was 33. In fact, we are thinking of trying for a third in a few months and I am 35 now.

This wasn't my plan when I was in high school or college, but life has a way of surprising you and the plans you made.

anssett · December 2012

I'm 32 now and we're going to start TTC next summer. This feels like I'm getting into risky territory because I know it can take a while to conceive and we're pretty sure we want 2. However we're not getting married until this spring so there won't be much of a buffer post-wedding, pre-babies. I'm OK with that (and so is he). Not everyone is. My mother had REALLY high blood pressure and lots of weight gain with each kid (enough they were all labeled high risk). I'm worried those genes + being 10 years older when I start will make me a fairly high risk gal, even at 33-35.

erincmckee · December 2012

DH and I turning 30 in June and we just started TTC this month. So we will be at least 30 by the time we have our first. I think its becoming more and more common now. I'm glad we waited and wouldn't change a thing.

BostonGayGal · December 2012

I had my first at 36 and will have my second at 39 or 40. There are slightly higher risks, but I was more fit than most 25 year olds when I gave birth and had no pregnancy problems related to my advanced maternal age.

Getting pregnant was harder for me, but since we were working with a sperm bank from the beginning, there is no way to know whether that was related to my age. But now we have embryos in storage so not even the age of my eggs matters. I don't mean this as snarky as I suspect it sounds, but if you have concerns, talk to your doctor. If however you are still worried about what your friends think and worried that you are falling behind them, you might still need more time to grow up a bit.

sweetpea2003 · December 2012

I am 31 and had my first two kids at 28 and 29.

No, I don't think 30 is "old". Most of my friends from high school college don't have kids. I grew up and went to college in major east coast cities where it is totally normal to wait a loooong time before settling down. I did things much earlier than my social circle (married at 22, first baby at 28).

That being said, don't take your fertility for granted. It does get harder to concieve the older you get. And as someone who was dx with Premature Ovarian Failure at 28, I definitely look at fertility and age a little differently than the average person.

My only advice would be to TTC before you have serious baby fever. It will allow you to have more fun and feel more relaxed than if you wait until you literally want a baby right.that.very.second. Also, consider how many babies you want (or that you think you want) and remember that TTC and pregnancy is a lengthy process. Saying "I want 3 kids by 35" when you are sitting at 30 isn't a realistic goal.

We plan on TTC one more baby in the next year or so. I actually am about 50/50 about whether getting pregnant is even possible for me at this point. If I'm being honest, I am NOT 100% ready to be pregnant again. But I know I want to give one more baby a fair shot, and in light of my fertility history that means sooner rather than later. So, there are many factors that go into making a decision... some short term, some long term.

GL!

DTNZ4Ever · December 2012

I was 31 when I had 1. We are TTC 2 I am regretting not TTC 2 earlier as it is taking longer this time and ill be 35 in February. I don't regret waiting on 1. All of my friends had their LO after 30.

blush64 · December 2012

chickaboo1974:
I was 36 and my DH was 46 when our boys were born. They are the first for both of us. We married when I was 30- so we knew our first would be after 30 LOL.
Where I live it is not uncommon for someone to be a FTM after 30- however where I grew up I was the oddity (it could also be that I also went away to college and finished a masters all before I met my DH). I am just happy that I am not like my high schoold boyfriend- he is now a grandfather at 38
Oh and I wanted to add that I was "high risk" ONLY because I was having twins- I spoke to my MFM (high risk OB) and he laughed when I said that my "old age" was a problem. He said that anymore 35 is NOT and immediate "high risk " pregnancy- he considers 40+ to be AMA.

While I agree it's not uncommon for women to have their first child after 30 it is higher risk to have kids when you will deliver at 35 as compared to 30 or 25. The risk of having a child with an extra chromosone increases a lot after 35. (still unlikely but that's when it becomes more of an issue, again more so after 40)

Fertility also decreases after 30 and much more so after 35 and as we get older it decreases more quickly. That doesn't mean it will affect most of us but it's more likely to. I am having my third at 35 and the risks were much higher this time that before.

I wouldn't say it's immediately high risk but certainly there are things to think about it you are going to wait until 35 or older.

kiki1978 · December 2012

I always get stressed when I hear people talking about having a baby at 35 and older. It seems like many people talk about the risks being higher and fertility being lower, but you don't hear too many people talk about the ones who don't have any issues. I guess with my anxiety issues I automatically think we will have problems TTC or will have a special needs child. I guess I don't have much of a choice though.

cookiedough22 · December 2012

Lots to think about. :

I think more than the pregnancy concerns I am concerned with having the energy at 30 to run behind a toddler, how old will I be when they're in school. Basically being an "old" mom and sorta out of the know.

The TTC plans are definitely in the works for sometime in the later part of the year.

Eastie156 · December 2012

I just had my first in September at 33. I turned 34 in November. I won't have my second until I'm likely 35 or later. So, no, 30 isn't old or too late to have a baby.

JenniferJaneC · December 2012

chelleb24:
Lots to think about. : I think more than the pregnancy concerns I am concerned with having the energy at 30 to run behind a toddler, how old will I be when they're in school. Basically being an "old" mom and sorta out of the know. The TTC plans are definitely in the works for sometime in the later part of the year.

I can't imagine not having the energy to keep up with a toddler at age 30. 30 isn't exactly geriatric by any means. I had my first at 33, and if we have a second I will be at least 37. I generally have no regrets for waiting this long.

sweetpea2003 · December 2012

chelleb24:
Lots to think about. :

I think more than the pregnancy concerns I am concerned with having the energy at 30 to run behind a toddler, how old will I be when they're in school. Basically being an "old" mom and sorta out of the know.

The TTC plans are definitely in the works for sometime in the later part of the year.

Seriously?! You realize your ability to chase a toddler has nothing to do with age. People run marathons at age 60. If you can't keep up with a toddler at 30 it is not because of your age.

joanithegreat · December 2012

I am 30 and we are still trying for our first. The vast majority of my family and friends had their kids when they were in their 20s. I wanted to start having kids when I was around 25, but that wasn't in the cards for DH and I.

I certainly don't think 30 is too old to start having kids, especially since my husband is in his early 40s.

bamakaramel · December 2012

Im 31 and I'm pregnant with my first. 30 is not old but it may feel old when you are talking babies. All of my friends with older parents seemed like they had much more stable home lives than I did. My mom was 2 weeks shy of 18 years old when she had me. I'm much wiser in my 30's than in my 20's, not to say that that is the case for everybody. Just don't feel the need to give in to outside pressure. Have a baby when you and your husband are ready. It will make the conception and pregnancy a little easier.

ap142193 · December 2012

I will be 30 in June. I just got married in October, so we haven't been trying to conceive long. I don't feel like I would have been ready for children any earlier, but I do regret that all our friends have kids and will be significantly older than ours.

PunkyBooster · December 2012

Hmm. I know a VERY small handful of people who had children before their 30s.

I was 32 when I had DS and hope for 1-3 more. As long as I am finished by 40 I'll be happy

And no, I have no regrets. The only small regret I do have in not getting started sooner is so I could have more of them, but if I had done that, I would not have been able to get where I wanted to due to work and couldn't afford them anyway. Funny how life works out

GL and enjoy yourselves.

PunkyBooster · December 2012

sweetpea2003:
chelleb24:
Lots to think about. : I think more than the pregnancy concerns I am concerned with having the energy at 30 to run behind a toddler, how old will I be when they're in school. Basically being an "old" mom and sorta out of the know. The TTC plans are definitely in the works for sometime in the later part of the year.
Seriously?! You realize your ability to chase a toddler has nothing to do with age. People run marathons at age 60. If you can't keep up with a toddler at 30 it is not because of your age.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one raising a major side eye to Chelle's weird statement.

1st child after 30

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